Traversing Time
by AvionVadion
Summary: She wasn't quite sure what to make of her situation. Suddenly appearing in a time that was oddly reminiscent of Feudal Japan and even Ancient China, what was she supposed to believe or do? With talks of mystical "curses" and dragons, and war and death every time you turn a corner, it could almost be considered a nightmare. Rest of summary in story.
1. A Dark Few Days

**Just in case some of you are sensitive, there are mentions of suicide. Because... well, that's actually based on something true. While I know it may be rude or harsh to talk or really write about it, it did happen a few days ago for me. I didn't know the kid, or at least I thought I didn't, until I saw his picture on Facebook because everyone was posting things about it on there. I just... it's... it's painful. I never... I never actually "lost" someone before. I've lost pets, likes cats and dogs, but somebody I know-it's...**

 **I deal with my emotions through writing, so that's what I did here... For his sister to just find him like that, it's... I can't even fathom how that must have felt. If I had found MY brother in that sort of scenario I don't... I just... he didn't deserve that kind of end. A lot of people don't deserve such a fate. But it happens and I know it's life, but I hate it and it sucks and I just...**

 **I know I'm being stupid, but I really wish the world could be a happier place. So... yeah. This first chapter is just straight up dark. I wrote it while I was still crying, so... yeah. I'm sorry for talking for so long. Here's the story. I'll try and update**

 ** _Circus Freaks_ and _Love Me Till The End_ soon. I apologize for taking so long on them (probably been months) but... it's been a really rough year. I've just.. stopped caring about everything. Agh. I'm an emotional mess in general. DX Schools pretty rough too, so... yeah. **

**Story is M because of death and blood and violence and yeah. Also because it may be sensitive to some-or at least the beginning.**

 _SUMMARY:_ ** _It had been a rough and depressing week. Between a kid suddenly killing himself and Irene herself getting in a car crash that potentially ended her life, she wasn't sure what to do or how to react. One minute she was in the car kneeling over her mother's unconscious form as she bled out, calling an ambulance, and the next she was in darkness, a searing pain on the left side of her face. When she awoke, she was somewhere underground in the mountains._**

 ** _She wasn't quite sure what to make of her situation. Suddenly appearing in a time that was oddly reminiscent of Feudal Japan and even Ancient China, what was she supposed to believe or do? With talks of mystical "curses" and dragons, and war and death every time you turn a corner, it could almost be considered a nightmare. She didn't even understand how she ended up in her current situation anyway, but somehow through being badly injured and almost trapped underneath the very mountain she woke up in, she ended up befriending a masked man and his pet squirrel._**

No apology is going to help, but... yeah. Sorry.

Gah, I need to toughen up. I'm sorry. I'll shut up now.

"Another necklace?" I asked, opening the envelope in surprise. I pulled out a small necklace, expecting to find brightly colored stones and rocks, but was rather startled when I saw that it was a plain silver pendant with what appeared to be a jade stone decorating it. "That's different." Mom nodded in agreement, but had to comment,

"It's always jewelry she's sending, though."

That much is true. Whenever Aunt Tabitha sent gifts it was always in the form of necklaces or something of the like. Earrings and bracelets for mom and Tiana, and necklaces for me and Melissa. Dennis I don't believe ever received anything. "It is pretty." I said, half-ignoring what she said as I tried to decipher whether it was exasperation or contempt. Most likely the former, but I couldn't be sure. "I think its... jade, or something." I reached the necklace clips and fumbled to get it around my neck, nearly dropping it as my hands shook. After a minute or two I managed to get it to clip and grinned, pulling on it and making sure the pendant rested on my chest, just below my collarbone. It was just as short as I liked it, surprisingly.

I quickly put the letter that came with the gift back in the envelope it originated from, and quickly piled up all my drawings that I had littered on the floor as I had been scanning them onto my laptop earlier. I paused the song I had playing, _Six Trillion Years and Overnight Story_ , closed my laptop, and stood. I flinched as my legs popped and yawned, stretching and automatically slumping over as my body grew tired. I put my pictures in another neat pile, sorting them and organizing my piles of drawings depending on which fandom they were of. Fandoms such as _Ouran High School Host Club_ , _Fairy Tail_ , _Kamigami no Asobi_ , _Vampire Knight, Undertale,_ and _Kingdom Hearts_. There were a few others, but I'm not going to mention them.

Making sure everything was perfect, protective over my pictures and wanting to make sure they would be unharmed, I passed by my desk-pausing briefly to look at my flute sheet music for Undyne's theme _Spear of Justice_ and what little notes I had written out for _His Theme._ My oboe sat in the corner, along with a music book for beginner Oboe players. My flute was in my locker at school-an instrument I've been playing for six years. I wanted to learn Alto Sax, like my brother Dennis, or even trumpet like Melissa, my second eldest sister, but we didn't have the money and Dennis needed his sax to be fixed before he could ever even attempt to teach me.

My chest hurt a little at the thought of my siblings, as it had only been Christmas since I last saw any of them and it was now August. I missed being the little sibling, constantly being teased and made fun of, or just goofing off with Tiana and Dennis and arguing with Melissa about what might happen in the upcoming _Kingdom Hearts_ game. Sometimes I'm convinced that she still hates me, but others times I remember that she's happier and more bubbly now compared to what she used to be, and I feel a bit better. She's even been nicer to me these past two years, after completely despising my very existence for ten years.

I scratched my head, ruffling my bangs and messing up what hair I had, and tugged on my jackets as I shivered a little. I never could handle the cold... Two jackets and I'm still freezing. Three, I'm a bit warmer, but I can hardly move. Two jackets and a long sleeve and I'm perfect.

I was wearing a short sleeves today though.

"Hey, Mom!" I called out as I walked into the livingroom, making sure I had my watch and _Fairy Tail_ wristband on my wrists, "When are we heading out to the high school?" I had another basketball game and the Band was going to be playing again. She looked up from the thing she was crocheting, informing,

"In just a few minutes. Why?" I shrugged.

"Just curious..." I wonder if I should try to play _Jack's Lament_ on the oboe again... I was able to get a pretty good sound out of it, the teacher saying I was a natural, but it hurt my cheekbones after a while and my lips didn't want to stay curled over my teeth as I tried to blow into the reed. Instead I plopped down, looking up at the TV and seeing _Grey's Anatomy_ playing. Leaning back I closed my eyes, yawning.

I reached up with a hand and fiddled with the necklace, wondering how things were going to turn out at the game today since a student committed suicide yesterday. The game _was_ going to happen that day, but because of the recent event it got rescheduled. The kid had a lot of potential too-he was going to have a bright future. Straight A student, so I heard. Someone said his parents were strict, and it didn't help that he was being bullied by his ex and a guy that I know-who happens to be a total jerk by the way. I had him in my Art Class, and he and his friend bullied this one senior that sat at our table. I was the only one nice to the senior, getting on the two boys when they kept taking his things (I being a freshman then). One day when I was walking to my lunch table with my tray (back when I had free lunch and Mom hadn't received her pay raise) I noticed he was sitting by himself eating at a completely desolate table.

I walked up, and with my _brilliant_ people skills I asked why he was being so "anti-social". He said he had no friends, so I awkwardly forced him to sit with me and my friends.

I told my Dad about this (he and mom were divorced, by the way) and he laughed, saying that "all you kids are like that. You have to make everybody happy". It wasn't wrong, as I hated seeing people sad. Me and the senior became friends after that, but he graduated last year and I haven't heard from him since. I think I was his only friend...

I hope he's doing okay.

 _Random thoughts, but okay. Hm..._ It was how I befriended Lilly, too. Well, actually, it was more like I saw her sitting by her lonesome the first few days of gym and I approached her, plopping down and asking if she liked anime as if it were some kind of bad pick-up line. She looked startled, by which she claimed she didn't expect anyone to talk to her, and we got to know each after that. Turned out she did and we became best buddies-though we haven't been speaking all that much because of the different class schedules and little time to respond by email. She was really shy, quiet, and soft-spoken compared to my loud, rambunctious, and quite obnoxious self.

Which was actually rather funny, seeming as I hate making people mad and being loud is a sure-fire way to do that.

"You putting your shoes on yet?" I jumped, startled. Mother had snapped me out of my thoughts. I nodded, wide awake, and stumbled as I stood, tripping over thin air as I fumbled to get to my sneakers. I put them on, double knotting them, and made sure I had my phone, cough drops, and inhaler. "I'm going to finish my coffee and I'll be there in the car. Okay, babe?"

I nodded, opening the door, "Got it." After about five minutes we left, and I was left telling mother all of the bad and corny jokes I found on the internet.

Like, _How do you light up a soccer stadium? With a soccer match!_ and _Why couldn't Dracula's wife get any sleep? Because of all his coffin!_

I thought they were pretty clever at least. We arrived soon at the school, mother pulling up to the band door, and she asked what time I needed to be picked up. "Probably around nine or nine thirty," I said, "it's a basketball game, so..." She nodded.

"Alright. Love you, babe." I quickly leaned and gave her a hug, grinning.

"Love you, too, Mom." I headed into the building not long after, watching her pull away, and got my instrument case and EKO music and set them down on my chair, before quickly heading to my usual spot by the doors between the water fountain and the trashcan, waiting for it to hit six thirty.

The game was uneventful, except for when the teachers gave the speech about the kid who died. A lot of people cried. I found myself tearing up, but I knew that because I couldn't put a face with the name it wasn't affecting me as much as it would or should. Once half time hit all the band members left to go to the concession stands-except me. I just sat by the trash can next to the fire extinguisher with my knees pulled up to my chest and face buried in my arms, careful not to hurt my glasses.

Dorthy, a girl who would usually come and join me in my "moping" was gone today, so she didn't pop up. Chris and Eliza were completely ignoring me again, as usual (some best friends, huh? Then again, they are a couple so it's understandable. They don't really like me being around when they're together) and I saw Andrew (Flute Andrew, not my best friend for eight years Andrew) holding his piccolo (yes, he plays that too) and speaking to Casey, a clarinet player and Dorthy's brother.

Those two were _nothing_ alike, simple as that. I was shell shocked when I learned they were related.

I let out a long sigh, wondering what the deceased junior had done to deserve such a horrible end. Probably nothing, as it's always like that with life, and rumor has it that his fifteen-year-old sister found him with brain blown out by a shotgun. She's _never_ going to unseen that. She'll probably have nightmares her entire life about it. There's just no possible way one could cope after seeing such a horrific sight.

I reached a hand up and grabbed a handful of my hair, pulling on it as my lips curled back. My eyes stung and my chest hurt, thinking about how the two must feel-how _he_ must have felt to be pressured into pulling that trigger, and how she must have felt when she found her brother.

If I lost any of my siblings... If I found any of them like that... Oh god...

Half time soon ended and I walked, hands shoved in my jacket pockets with my head held low, bangs covering my left eye completely and a falling over to the right side of my head. I did my best to fight against the tears, but it became especially difficult when I saw his face.

I was peeking over Casey's shoulder to see what he was doing on his phone, when I saw the face and name. I went still, face morphing into that of shock and disbelieving horror.

I _knew_ that kid. Sure, I didn't talk to him much, but I know I had multiple classes with him last year when I was a freshman and him a sophomore. I think I spoke to him once or twice, too, and I know I walked by him multiple times in the hallway. When I was heading towards the buses earlier, I saw his locker covered in sticky notes that had things like "We love you" and "We miss you" written on them. I hadn't recognized the name, but I _know_ the face. I know him. And he... he...

Oh my god.

I just stared at the picture, unable to believe what I was seeing, unable to believe that he was _gone_.

"You alright?" Casey asked suddenly, noticing I was staring at the picture. I opened my mouth to respond, but nothing came out. I scooted away to sit against the gates against the bleaches we were all sitting in, just staring into space.

That guy... he was _dead_. His fifteen-year-old sister had found him with his brains blown out... H-How...? I propped an elbow up on my thigh, leaning over with a hand clamped over my mouth, unable to stop the tears flowing down my face. It hurt to breathe.

Lucinda, also a clarinet player, came down to sit next to me seeing I was crying, but I didn't really pay all that attention. I was too busy trying to snap out of my shock. I stiffened when an arm wrapped around my shoulder and I turned my head to see Chris, the brunette asking what was wrong. Lucinda had moved back, realizing I wasn't going to talk to her.

"I-I can't..." I seriously didn't think I knew the guy. But I did and I just can't wrap my head around it and... oh my god. If this is how I feel and I don't even really know the guy, how does his friends and family feel? Like their hearts' are being torn to shreds? Crushed? Mutilated and suffocated, hands pressing against the beating organ unrelentingly? Cold? Numb...? An unbearable pain in their chests?

The thought just caused me to cry more, my eyes feeling as though they were on fire.

"I _knew_ him. I-I mean, I didn't know him but I _knew_ him and... I-I didn't..." I remember seeing him talking and laughing with his friends in the middle of the hallway and/or in class before. What did that kid go through...? I-I can't-I don't even want to think about it and yet I can't stop. It just hurts so bad, but even so... this is probably nothing compared to what he went experienced. I took a deep breath, pulling away from Chris and wiping at my eyes. I quickly pulled my glasses off with a huge sniff, trying to clear my nose as I cleaned my glasses with my jacket sleeve. "I'm fine."

He looked at me with a raised eyebrow, knowing I was lying.

"I'm fine, Chris. Go back to Eliza. I just... I'm just being emotional again." He frowned, remembering a talk we had during the last game.

I had been blubbering about a character's past in a manga I was reading and my dad got on me for being "too emotional" giving me this lecture about how if I didn't get a good grip on my emotions I was going to just become useless to everyone in the future. How I wouldn't be able to help anyone if I couldn't help myself.

And the worst part is is that it's true. Difference is, I can't _become_ useless if I already _am_ useless. I can't help anyone-I always just get in the way. I cause problems. I'm a bother. I know this.

It's just excruciatingly painful when someone you love and care about points it out to you. I know he meant well, but it really stung and... well... I ended up crying in the bathroom for a few hours after Dad went to bed and moped for a few days. I didn't feel angry at him, but more... apathetic then anything, yet still hurting. Did that make any sense? It just hurt... while at the same time I felt nothing.

Kind of like how I beginning to feel now. Heartbroken, but numb.

Nana always said I was way too tender-hearted... to the point where it wasn't even funny anymore. My sister, Tiana, told me that every time I cried when she was around I'd have to give her a dollar. _I want to see them..._ I was scared now. I was worried. I missed them even more so and could feel panic rushing through. Unfortunately I left my phone in the band room so I couldn't text them or ask how they were doing at the moment. Tiana should still be at work, or at the very least getting home soon, and Melissa and Dennis are probably sleeping. _Damn it... you guys better be doing okay. Y-You better... be..._ My eyes welled up with even more tears. It felt like my eyes were on fire.

We soon had to stand and play our schools fight song, of which I could only get out a few notes as I choked back a sob, and once the teams had walked out I grabbed my stand, music, and instrument and headed up the stairs as fast yet as calmly as I could as we all headed back to the music department. I put my things away, threw on my green and black plaid jacket that Melissa gave me, threw the hood on, and then put on my much bigger green jacket that Dennis gave me. I took the hood off and pulled out my phone, waiting impatiently for it to turn on the rest of the way.

I texted them all, then mother as I told her I was ready to be picked up. My foot tapped against the ground rapidly and I wiped at my face with my green sleeve, wishing one of them would hurry and answer.

It was Tiana. A bit of a weight was lifted off my shoulders and I relaxed just slightly, asking how work was and if Dennis and Melissa were doing okay. According to her Melissa was doing just fine, but Tiana herself had to keep reminding herself that there was no Netflix in prison because of her coworkers. She knew nothing of Dennis. I choked on a laugh when she mentioned how Tom still hadn't brought her flowers, as flowers meant death to him, and we both started to complain to each other about it being cold and rainy.

Mom soon texted me, saying she was pulling up to the school, and I quickly made my way outside, feeling a bit lighter. I went outside and instantly sneezed, teeth chattering as I rubbed my arms. I quickly texted Tiana and told her that I loved her and had to go, and she replied with the same. I told her I'd see her whenever and she said she'd try to visit sometime soon. The thought made me happy and temporarily distracted me from the darkness that had taken hold earlier.

Waiting for mother's car to show up I fumbled with the necklace, rubbing the back of it with my thumb and pausing when I felt some indents. Squinting I pulled out my phone and turned it on, flashing the light onto the silver and reading what it said. "When darkness befalls the land... the... the true... oh! When darkness befalls the land the true bearer of this necklace, the consultant from earth, shall transcend through time to find the rightful king." It had a "history" made up for it... nice. I loved stories. "Only in history will this tale be told, but only by death can it unfold..." My heart ached a little as I remembered everything from a few moments ago and took a deep breath, trying to calm myself. I really didn't want to cry again. Talk about a dark day...

I shivered, teeth still chattering. My fingers were beginning to go numb, my ears and face turning red from the cold.

I looked for more writing, but everything was chicken scratch. "Alright, then... okay-hey, wait, is that a dragon?" In the little jade gem, there was an image of a Wyvern Dragon. It... actually didn't look that jade, now that I think about it. It seemed more like a turquoise... an aqua blue. "It's beautiful..." Huh. Aunt Tabitha outdid herself this time. Granted it said she bought it instead of making this one, but still. She shouldn't have. I felt bad for her wasting her money on me, but I was little happy because of it being such a pretty necklace.

A horn honking caught my attention and I looked up, startled to see mother waving at me. I grinned and ran forward, quickly getting in the car.

It began to rain five minutes into the drive. I began to talk about the game, instantly bursting into tears when I got to the part about the teachers talking about the deceased student, and she said that it was worse when it was someone you know-whether you actually _knew_ them or not. Knowing the face makes it so much harder to accept, especially if you'd spoken to them at some point in time-even if it was only once. She handed me a couple tissues with one hand, getting on me and saying that she handed me the tissues to wipe my face-I having been using my sleeves. I quickly blew my nose, apologizing, before laughing slightly. I turned my head to look at the road, only to freeze when I looked into the side view mirror.

"Mom-Mom! Look out!" She looked confused before she glanced into the rearview mirror, eyes growing wide. She made to hit the gas pedal, but wasn't fast enough before we were suddenly slammed into from behind, the car spinning on the road and being thrown against the railing-flipping before landing on all fours and crashing into a tree. I wasn't too sure what all happened during that. It seemed in slow motion yet all too fast at the same time. All I know is that when my buckle came loose and I saw the glass break, I grabbed onto the steering wheel, holding on for dear life and trying to throw myself in front of mom in fear that she would die, too.

Next thing I knew the car stopped and I tasted iron, blood bubbling up my throat like acid. I coughed, spitting it out, and tried to move to make sure mom was okay-having fallen into her lap upon landing. The airbag protected her much better than I had, but I did keep her stomach from getting impaled.

Of course, that just meant _I_ was the one who got stabbed by shattered glass instead. "M... Mommy?" I forced out, finding the action of speaking almost too difficult. Breathing had never felt so painful before in my life, for everything time I breathed my stomach moved and pressed against the glass in my side. "Mom?" My vision was blurry, my eyes burned and stung with tears and blood from a head wound. I hit the airbag, trying to get it to deflate, and after a few minutes it did so. I painfully raised an arm, inhaling sharply as I tried to sit up, and pressed a hand against her neck to feel for a pulse.

She was alive. Unconscious, but alive. I began to laugh, but ended up choking on my own blood soon enough as I cried tears of relief and fear.

I think I was going to die.

"M-Mommy... Mom, mother-come on, wake up." A thought hit me. "Wh-Where's your phone?" I fumbled for it, getting dizzier and weaker by the second. Finally finding it in her sweater pocket I pulled it out and struggled as I tried to remember her pass-code. My mind was mess. Luckily my fingers seemed to remember the pattern and I quickly went to contacts, dialing 9-1-1.

For a horrified second I thought no one was going to pick up. Dark spots danced in my vision, along with a strange blue-green light. _"Hello? This is 9-1-1, what's the emergency?"_

"C-Crash..." I choked, before hacking up more blood. The glass I had in me just dug deeper and deeper, but I was too terrified to try and pull it out in case I made it worse or bled out faster. "S-Somewhere near S-South... D-Dearborn... High School. I-I don't know how long I-Mom is-she's unconscious and-and I-" My eyes went wide and I toppled over, the phone dropping out of my hand and falling to the floorboard.

 _"Hello? Hey, can you hear me? I'm sending an ambulance out right now-stay with me! What's your name? Can you tell me that? Are you okay? Hello? Are you still there?"_

My... my name... is... "I-Irene." I whimpered, clinging onto mother's lap. I couldn't stop crying. I wanted to scream, but I felt as though I lacked the strength. "H-Help..." I'm sorry. I'm so sorry.

This is all my fault. If I had been paying more attention to the road than being upset, then we might have been able to avoid this. I... _"Help is on the way, Irene. Just stay awake, alright?"_ I-I can't... It hurts. It hurts so much. I'm so dizzy. I can't... think... Dennis... Daddy... Tiana, Melissa... Andrew, Chris, and Eliza... everybody...

"T-Tell... tell my family... I... love them and that... I... I'm so sorry."

 _"Irene? Hey, Irene! Irene, stay with me!"_ I tried to keep my eyes open, but they forced themselves closed against my will. My ragged breathing slowed down and I whimpered, just clinging onto mother as tight as I could before I lost all feeling and went limp, everything just going black.

It was a funny feeling, death... It certainly wasn't something I wanted to experience. I saw no bright light or dark raging pit of doom. I just saw black...

It was a bit like I was floating, but still walking at the same time. I wasn't sure what or where to. I was just walking and walking... before I found a burning pain form on the what could be considered the entirety of the left side of my face, covered by my bangs. I would have screamed if I could, but I didn't think I had an actual form. Was I just a soul, or a wandering spirit? A ghost with no voice?

 _"Through darkness you came, by light you will stay. It is your duty to serve our king and guide him, to help him along his path. This is your duty as the adviser."_

Oddly... poetic, but at the same time rather dramatic and fantasy-like.

 _"You will love the Crimson Dragon King and stay by his side through all acts. As my embodiment, you shall guide him past the darkness and the light, and only through this shall you help him prosper. You will stay forever by his side as his most trusted friend and comrade. You are the symbol of his growth. You will be the healer of his pain, the user of words to take away the shadows that start to cover his heart. That is your duty!"_

One more footstep and excruciatingly intense searing pain as though my entire body was on fire, the left of my face utterly boiling. Then I found darkness again-no voices, no sound, just completely silent black. When I woke up I felt like I had been ran over by a semi, multiple cold chills going down my spine as I realized how cold the ground I was laying on was. "A-Achoo!" I sneezed and flinched. I looked around groggily, groaning a little as my body ached in protest at the sudden movement. "Where... the heck am I?" A... cave?

I made to stand, only to yelp and fall back down. I flinched, then shrieked and rolled onto my back and sat up, holding my hand close to my chest protectively when I felt something nibble on my finger. I stared with wide eyes at the creature who attacked me.

It was the cutest, chubbiest little squirrel I had ever seen. It looked at me, giving a little squeak, and dashed towards me. I flinched, not sure what to expect from a squirrel, only to blink and open my eyes slowly when it started to nuzzle my ankle with its nose. I hesitantly reached down and ran two fingers across its head as gently as I could. I attempted to ignore the searing pain in my side and lower leg. "P'kyuu!"

"You..." I carefully picked it up, holding it close to my chest as I looked down at it with big eyes, a smile slowly spreading across my face. "You are the cutest thing I've ever seen!"

"P'kyuu!" Oh my god, it's so cute. It had the chubbiest cheeks, as if they were stuffed full of food, with a big ol' tummy and fluffy fur.

"Daw~!" Hey, wait... "Wasn't I... just in crash?" Or... was that a dream? Or _am_ I currently dreaming?

I tried to stand again, but my aching body painfully reminded me this was reality. I flinched, careful to stay standing and not drop my new friend, and looked around fearfully. My eyes stung a little and I tried to remain calm, feeling my heart race and breathing start to go irregular. _M-Mom... o-okay, I know I managed to call the ambulance, but she was unconscious._ She might have gotten a concussion or something but I-

My blood ran cold. Holding the squirrel with one hand against my chest I reached down with my other and brushed it across my side, only to nearly collapse. Blood seeped through my jackets and I stumbled, feeling incredibly dizzy. The squirrel jumped out of my hands as I fell and I cried out, pain wracking my entire body. The squirrel moved over and tilted its head at me, before prodding my face with its nose as if to encourage me to get up. "It hurts..."

"P'kyuu!"

Suck it up, Irene. Deal with it. Other people have it worse than you. You're not important.

I took a deep breath and pushed myself onto my knees, holding a hand against my side, and stood shakily. The squirrel quickly jumped up onto my foot, climbing on my leg and up my torso until it was sitting on my left shoulder. I looked around the cavern I was in, trying to focus on the present and figure out how to get out of here-only to remember the strange voices I heard.

Wait, hold on... No. No, I'm sorry, this isn't _Inuyasha_. I'm not freaking Kagome. I'm not the Doctor either. There's no way I died and went back in time like that stupid pendant had written on it. "True Bearer"? What was this- a corny, badly written fanfiction? Jesus, this is not okay. Brain, stop talking and let me think straight! I-I can't-Oh god, Mom, please be okay.

I'm sorry, you guys. I think I really did die. Which meant this was either "heaven" or... maybe it's my version of the "underworld". Dark, but full of cute animals.

My chest throbbed, heart screaming at me as the needle dug deeper and deeper into it.

"I don't know which way to go," I choked, looking around. I have no idea where I am. The squirrel nuzzled my neck, giving me a little comfort, and I did my best not to cringe and scrunch up my shoulders at how much it tickled. I hesitantly took a step forward, limping, but the second I did so a hand grabbed me from behind. I shrieked, frightened, and tried to pull away from the stranger grabbing me. His eyes were cold and dark and he was... wearing a kimono?

Wh-What?

"Let go of me!" The guy pulled on my arm, and keeping a firm hold of the torch in his other hand he pushed me forward, dragging me to to set of stairs quite a few feet away. My right left leg screamed in agony. "H-Hey!" I thrashed, but moving so violently caused my head to throb and my vision to spin, everything going blurry as I grew dizzy. I almost collapsed. The guy kept dragging me along, but after a minutes of endless struggle he let go, kicking away at something. My eyes went wide and I quickly cried out, "No!" When I saw the squirrel go flying through the air. "You _jerk!_ " I felt like punching him or kicking him, but knowing it wouldn't work or even hurt made me not do that and instead I ran over to the little squirrel who had fallen. "Theodore! Hey, hey, Theo-come on, you're okay, right?" Hearing footsteps I quickly scooped the squirrel up in my hands and made a break for it, running as fast as I could while limping.

My heart was racing loudly. I was terrified.

"H-Have to... hide-" I gasped, lungs burning in my chest. I whirled around, quickly making my way through another hallway, and made a sharp turn-only to slam right into someone. I stumbled back and fell, almost dropping the squirrel. I could feel the blood soaking into my jacket trail down my skin, dripping onto the floor. "Wh-Who...?"

 _Blue Dragon._ I wasn't sure why, but the title popped up in my head.

The man in the mask just stared at me, his lips tilting downwards at the sight of the injured squirrel I was holding. I stiffened when I heard footsteps and tried to stand, still keeping a hold on Theodore to make sure he, or she, was safe. I swayed, world spinning as I got up, and attempted to catch myself. Thankfully the stranger caught me, but I quickly pulled myself away and ran behind him, deeming him as an ally rather than a foe as he didn't try to attack me like the other guy did. It also helped that I felt no bad vibes coming off of him-even if the sword on his back was a little intimidating. He slowly turned his head, probably looking at me from behind his mask, and saw him staring at the squirrel again.

"A... A guy-A guy kicked him, " I tried to explain, wheezing. The male turned his head away, looking forward, standing there silently as the man who grabbed me walked in. His eyes stared cold at me and I flinched, standing close to the tall man in front of me. The fur he had attached to his mask fell down to his waist, slightly tickling my face. The warmth radiating from it and him happened to be the kindest things I've encountered so far in this dark place, the man standing before us the cruelest. He _hurt_ Theo. "That's... him..." I watched in confusion as the attacker stared frightfully at the man in front of me.

"B-Blue... Dragon..." He stammered, voice going rather high in pitch as he took a step back. "Y-You..." The masked man just stared at the attacker, not saying anything. "Don't kill me!" He screamed and quickly ran away. So he really _is_ called "blue dragon"? Huh... I'm either going psychic or I'm just in a really messed up dream.

I blinked, utterly lost. "Okay... That's..." I made a face, extremely lightheaded. I knew if I took another step I might pass out. "That's not... what I was expecting." I shook my head, only to flinch as the world spun. Okay, bad idea. Not doing that again. I took another breath, before looking down at the squirrel in my hands. It was still breathing. "You... You okay there, little guy?"

The masked man turned around to look at me, and then at the squirrel. He reached a hand out and gently pressed a finger against the little guy's tummy. The squirrel promptly rolled onto its side and began to nibble on the male's finger. I snorted. Too cute. Very funny. "Ao..." I looked up in surprise at the masked man, then at the squirrel again.

"That's his name?" The man nodded slowly, before carefully taking the squirrel from me. I let him, figuring that the squirrel belonged to him. "Better than what I've been calling him. I called him "Theodore"."

He stared and I wondered what his face looked like. His voice surprised me, as I didn't expect him to be so soft spoken. He kinda reminded me of Senri Shiki from _Vampire Knight_ , with his quiet demeanor and slow, soft manner of speaking.

"N-No response, huh? Th-That's cool. Um..." I swallowed awkwardly, not used to dealing with people whose expressions I could not see, "W-Where am I?"

"..."

"I-I don't... I was-I don't know how I got here and I don't know where I am a-and..." No, don't cry. Don't you _dare_ cry. "I-I just..."

"We're... in the mountains belonging to the Fire Tribe..."

"Mountains?" I looked up at him alarm. "What!? N-No, that can't be right." Mom and I were nowhere _near_ any mountains and-fire tribe? What is this, _Avatar: the Last Airbender_? Is Zuko going to pop up sometime soon? I-I can't... I don't understand. "H-How... I was..." I was hyperventilating. I-I can't-H-How!? "I-I wasn't... we weren't anywhere near..." I choked, eyes burning. I took a step back, darkness temporarily obscuring my vision as I was sent falling.

I couldn't breathe.

I barely even registered that the stranger had caught me again. He retracted his hand in surprise when he saw it was coated in blood.

I wasn't able to speak. I just found myself fading into darkness once more, a terrifying reminder that I had died once before-if only a few minutes ago. My eyes closed and the last thing I remembered was being picked up.

 **Well, here's the first chapter. Dark, slightly cliche, but hey-aren't all my stories? (Tries for a grin) I love you guys. Ya'll are amazin' for sticking with me over these-what? Five years of writing? I dunno, what's sixteen minus twelve? Haha. Four? There will be a couple parts to this story.**

 **This will be kinda like "Book One' or whatever and will end where anime did, and then "Book Two" will start around where it left off during the manga. That will end... somewhere before the Water Tribe Arc, I guess. Then I'll wait for the manga to keep going and go from there. I got an Undertale fic on my deviant featuring Irene and Andrew that Jake kinda suggested I write, and I got ten chapters of that so far. Eleven just doesn't want to come out right, so I've been procrastinating on that. I just... I dunno. I'm sorry for taking so long to update everything. I know some of you are mad at me, some of you might even hate me, I know it gets when a good story doesn't get an update in months. XD**

 **I try not to be that person but it just sorta happens. Well, adios. Read and Review! Hasta Manana (Don't know how to do the little squiggly line about the letters), or quite possibly Hasta Luego.**


	2. His Nickname Is Blue

**Because it's always fun being startled awake by a squirrel. XD**

Waking up to darkness was starting to become a habit for me, as every time I closed my eyes or opened them that seemed to be exactly what I was greeted with. Oddly, this time instead of being cold, I was covered in warmth with something tickling my face and arms. A part of my mind wondered why my arms were being tickled when I had been wearing two jackets, but I slowly opened my eyes and found myself staring up at a pair of black eyes. I blinked, staring groggily at the face in front of me, before I shrieked and sat up-crying out in pain as I simultaneously hit my head against the stone wall and aggravated the wound in my side.

A hand on the back of my head where I got hit made me stiffen, alarmed at the sudden intruder. Turning my head I stared in surprise at the man who saved me, his face still covered by a mask with horns and a pair of bells dangling off of one. "You'll... reopen your head wound." He murmured quietly, gently pressing his finger against the bandage that was placed on my forehead beneath my bangs, just above my eyebrow and close to my temple. "It's not... safe to move." Seeing my blank, confused stare he pulled away. It was then I noticed that the fur he had attached to his mask earlier was gone...

I looked down at myself, shivering slightly and lifting the fur that was covering me up and holding it to my shoulder. "Um... you..." He looked at me, but I had no idea what he was thinking because of the mask. It was slightly unsettling, but I felt no ill will from him. Besides, if he wanted to kill me he would have done it earlier. "You patched me up?" He hesitated before nodding slowly.

"You... You are... not an enemy."

"What gave you that idea?" I asked, just for giggles more than anything. "I could secretly be an assassin or something. You never know."

He just stared at me. _Blue Dragon,_ my mind thought. I still didn't know why.

"So," I began awkwardly, "Um, where are we?"

He was silent for a long moment, before saying, "We're in my room..."

 _His room?_ I looked around, but there wasn't really anything in here other than the two of us and the squirrel- "Ah! You're okay!" The squirrel stopped nibbling on the seed it had in its paws and looked up at me, quickly jumping onto the fur that was on my lap and climbing up it until it was on my shoulder, reaching up and nuzzling my face with its cold nose. "O-Okay, jeez. Aw... I was worried about you, too." I reached a hand out of the furry and ran a finger down its head and spine as gently as I could manage. "Hey, what did you say his name was?" Did he even say the squirrel's name? I don't remember. Everything is a little fuzzy.

"...Ao."

"Ow...? Oh, Ao. Nice name." He made a sound, seeming a little surprised at my reaction.

I nuzzled the squirrel with my cheek, the animal letting out the cutest "P'kyuu" sounds.

"You are just too cute!" I then paused, looking at the guy. "Wait, what's _your_ name? I'm Irene." He stared, making me wonder if he was confused.

"...Blue... Dragon..." He finally said. "That's... what they call me." They?

"That's not... really a name." I responded in confusion.

He looked down and away from me, the bells dangling from his mask tinkling. "I don't... have a name."

I wondered how it was possible to not have a name, but decided not to dwell on it as my mind would only go to dark places. Instead I asked, "What should I call you then? "Blue Dragon" and "Masked Man" aren't really all that... good." He made a sound like he was about to say something, but he closed his mouth and looked away again. Every time he moved the bells jingled, catching my attention instantly. I wonder if he wore them because he wanted to be seen, but that just got me more confused as he was by himself. I stayed silent, waiting for an answer, but the man never spoke. "I have a question." He lifted his head and looked at me curiously. "Is your hair naturally blue or did you dye it?" The silence had been filling my mind with dark thoughts and memories, and at the moment I did _not_ want to think about how I got here and so I decided to distract myself, using the only method I knew how to cope.

"...Natural..."

I dropped my jaw, gazing at him in shock. "What? No fair! I always wanted blue hair!" Okay, never mind. Looks like I'm going to deal with memories anyway. "Mom and Dad didn't want me to dye my hair completely though, so I had to settle for highlights. How do you even get natural blue hair?" Some kind of mutation? "Aw, you're so lucky! I then wanted black hair like my dad, but mom completely hates his guts and vice versa so she got mad and yelled at me. Dad was all for it, since it's my hair and all-he doesn't really care what I do with it, but every time I dye my hair I get so annoyed and want my natural brown back." I pulled at a chocolate-colored lock, staring at it from behind my glasses. "It's weird and I don't really get it. But your hair is so cool! I'm jealous!" I looked back at him and grinned, beaming.

His mouth was slightly agape, as if he wanted to say something again but didn't have the words. He seemed surprised. I'm beginning to think this is a face he makes a lot. I blinked.

"You okay? O-Oh! I know; I'll just call you "Blue". Is-Is that okay? S-Since your title or whatever is "Blue Dragon" and your hair is blue... and you're wearing a lot of blue... I-I thought it made sense. I'd give you an actual name, but anything I come up with usually is completely ridiculous, so..."

He just stared. After a moment of awkward silence he nodded, placing a hand against Ao (who had ran over and climbed up onto his shoulder during the conversation) and let the squirrel nibble on his fingers.

I can't even begin to describe how awkward and suffocating the next silence was. I tried desperately to think of a conversation topic, forcing the events of the crash out of my mind, and settled on jokes. "Um, Knock Knock."

"..."

"You're supposed to say "Who's there"." I informed, making a dry face. I wondered what his expression was beneath that mask. It was hard telling what he was thinking only by the movement of his mouth.

"...Who's... there?"

"Deja."

"..."

"Deja Who"?" I offered. His mouth opened again, realizing his mistake, and said,

"Deja Who?"

"Knock Knock!" I exclaimed. Blue just seemed confused at this point.

"Who's there?"

"Deja."

"...Deja-" He cut himself off, seeming to get the joke. I laughed loudly, slightly wishing I could see his face. His reaction was probably something amazing. It bugged me that I couldn't see his eyes-really, _really_ bugged me-because the eyes are the door to the soul and it gave me insight onto what kind of person you are. I can only go with actions and words with this guy, and the aura he gave off. It was a bit rough, but I don't _think_ he's a bad person...? He helped me after all. I cuddled underneath the fur, still smiling in amusement.

I felt a little discouraged that he didn't laugh, but figured that he was just a serious kind of person. Eventually my smile wore off and I made to pull my knees to my chest, but winced as I did so as it pulled on my side. Luckily my other wound was on my foreleg, so it didn't really hurt that much unless I brushed something against it or put too much weight on it.

"P'kyuu!" The squirrel cried out, repeating the sound multiple times as it ran about out, stopping to nibble on a rock only to spit it out as it made a face. I laughed a little when I saw it do so, but soon grew depressed again. _Mom... Dad..._ My family, the few friends I had... how are they reacting to my disappearance? My "death". I remember the car getting hit from behind and-and then flipping once it hit the railing on the side of the road.

My chest tightened painfully.

The seatbelt I had on unbuckled and came loose. I think the metal hit me in the head? I'm not sure. I just remember grabbing onto the wheel when I started to fly, trying to stop my descent into the air all the while throw myself in front of Mom.

I gingerly rested a hand against my side, able to feel the deep gash from underneath the bandages. I cringed.

I don't remember when I got hurt, or stabbed, but only remembered _how_ the crash happened and after when I called the police. Mom was unharmed, probably only had a bump on the head, but I... _I really think I died._ I resisted the urge to bury my face into the fur that was covering me, wishing I had some form of comfort. "H-Hey... B-Blue?" The bells jingled as he looked at me, making another sound when he most likely saw the tears in my eyes. "Where... Where did you put my jackets?" It had to have been him to take them off of me. He was the one who patched me up after all, and in order to do so he had to have removed them. _It hurts... why does it hurt so much?_ It was like a hand was clawing into my chest and digging at my heart, deeper and deeper. It hurt to even breathe.

He suddenly stood, walking over and scooping the squirrel up off the floor. It made a squeak, surprised, but let Blue carry him as he walked back over to me. I lifted my head, bangs covering my face as I stared up at him confusion, watching him. Then, to my surprise, he knelt down and set Ao on my knees, the squirrel letting out another "P'kyuu" as it ran up my arm to my shoulder and nuzzled my face, my tears sinking into its fur. I stared with wide eyes, unable to respond. Blue then patted my head and stood, walking off and leaving me with only Ao for company.

I was at a total loss. It didn't take long for me to break down into tears, only hurting my throat as I tried to choke them back. My head pounded as a migraine began to form, my eyes burning from the waterworks. Ao nuzzled my face again, trying to comfort me, and I whimpered, saying, "I-I know, I know... I'm sorry..." I pulled my arms out from underneath the fur, hugging the small animal as best as I could. "I-I shouldn't be-I shouldn't be crying..." I'm so pathetic. I'm just... "I-I'm scared, okay? I-I'm scared and I'm worried. I-I have no idea how I got here a-and I... I just-" I wiped at my eyes, sliding my hand underneath my glasses and pushing them up as I tried to stop the tears. "I-I don't know what to do! It hurts!"

"P'kyuu..." I sniffled, hiccuping, and ground my teeth together as my lips kept curling back. My jaw hurt from how hard I was clenching it.

"A-And then I wake up with this stupid pain and-and some guy tries to kidnap me and I just..." I want to see mother. I want to see my brother and sisters. I want to see my dad and step-mom. My four friends-Chris, Eliza, Andrew, and Lilly.

I-I know Chris, Eliza and I were growing apart... even Lilly and I were starting to get distant. B-But Andrew has always been there. He was like a little brother (he's younger by a year, maybe a year and a half) and even as I grew more annoying and obnoxious, he's always stayed by my side. Back in elementary school, when it was just me, him, and Liam, he followed me around like a little duckling would its mother. And then once we hit middle school and we grew apart from Liam and he moved away to another school, Andrew and I stuck together, still best friends. Then I met Chris and Eliza-people he already knew- and we all just kind of clicked. But now that Chris, Eliza, Lilly, and I all had different classes we never really spoke anymore, and because of Chris and Eliza dating they started pushing me away.

They even started changing a little and... I'm not too sure how I feel about it. Chris has been more of a jerk and Eliza just... kinda ignores me. Andrew's in show choir instead of band, and I have no classes with him, so I only get to see him in the mornings before class and during lunch. After that I'm always by myself. Always sitting alone, always hiding in a corner or by a trash can.

Will they even care that I'm gone?

I suddenly remembered the kid who died. All those sticky notes on his locker, all those teachers and people mourning him... he was important to everyone. He was straight A's, active in a whole bunch of school activities and what not-he was _important_. Not only as a human being, not just as himself, but as somebody plenty of people probably looked up to. He was an older brother and a son. He was a friend to many people. I never really knew him, but I didn't have to in order to feel and see just how many people he touched the hearts of.

But what's the difference with me? Sure, my family will miss me and heck, Andrew probably will too, but will anybody else? Not likely. I'm just an annoyance in their lives... somebody they're better off without.

I've only started to get on better terms with Melissa recently...

Another wave of tears came and I choked, squeezing my eyes shut and hugging myself, Ao letting out a sad squeak as he pressed his cold nose against my cheek. "P'kyuu..."

Why did that man even bother saving me? Why did he bother patching my wounds up? I'll just be an annoyance to him as well... I have no other place to go. I know nobody but him, and he was the only nice person I've encountered and am starting to trust. The other man I saw tried to kidnap me, not giving a single care about the wounds decorating my body. "W-Why are you two... being so _nice_ to me?" Aren't I just a bother?

I took another shaky breath, trying to force myself to stop crying. I took a long, painful sniff to try and rid myself of my runny nose and made a face as I only grew dizzy, my headache worsening.

"I-I'm sorry, Ao..." I gave a weak smile, trying to grin as I showed off my teeth. I pet the squirrel with my index finger, fighting against more tears. I somehow managed to hold them back. My chest still felt heavy. "I-I'm just being a wimp again, huh? I-I'll stop crying now. I-It's not like I can do anything about my predicament right n-now, anyway. Haha!" I just have to buck up and deal with it. I-I can... I can just go with the flow. Like I always do.

Nothing like some life changing event to mess with you, right? _Right?_

I hung my head, thoroughly upset.

"P'kyuu...?"

I heaved a long sigh. "I'm fine... I just... can't stop thinking, that's all. So don't look at me with those big eyes." I gave a small laugh again. "I'm sorry. I'll shut up now." I bet you're tired of my voice anyway.

The sounds of bells suddenly caught my attention. I lifted my head and turned, seeing Blue enter the room with my jackets in his arms. He knelt down and set them on the ground beside me, before taking a seat. "I was... getting the blood out. There's... a room with a small stream nearby." I looked at him in surprise.

"Really?" That would make sense as to where he gets something to drink, seeing as he lives down here... where does he get food though? Please tell me he isn't eating bugs... Wait, he did what? I was stunned, but grateful. "Th-Thank you..." He simply nodded before turning away from me. "Ah-! D-Do you want your fur back!?" I quickly pulled it off and held it out, feeling like a jerk for hogging it for so long. "Th-Thank you for letting me use it..." He looked at me, mouth open again, before he slowly took the fur and reattached it to his mask, successfully covering up most of his azure hair.

Without wasting much time after (Ao having jumped off my shoulder to head back to Blue) I pulled my jackets back on, one at a time as I stood. I winced as I pulled on my side, stretching the wound accidentally as I tried to put my arms through my jacket sleeves. I fumbled to zip up the plaid, but after a moment I succeeded. I then promptly cleaned my glasses with my green jacket sleeve, blinking multiple times as I got used to being able to see clearly again. I relaxed and sat back down, wondering what I should do, and fiddled with my sleeves. "So... what's up?"

No response. He just stared at me as if he didn't know how he was supposed to answer.

"...How old are you? I'm sixteen."

He stayed silent again for a few moments, but actually responded. "I'm... eighteen..."

"You're two years older than me? Huh. Okay then. Wasn't expecting that." I laughed. "Then again, it's-it's kinda hard to guess someone's age when they're wearing a mask." He lowered his head again. My smile dropped instantly, realizing that I may have stepped onto a sour topic. "O-Okay, um, how'd you meet Ao?"

At the sound of his name the squirrel lifted his head. "P'kyuu?"

Blue looked at the squirrel sitting in his lap. "...I... saw her sitting in the rain..." He hesitated, looking at me before staring at back at the squirrel, lighting pressing his finger against its cheek and allowing Ao to bite his finger. "I grabbed a leaf... and held it over her head..." Wait, Ao's a girl? Oops. "Then she ate it. She just... followed me after."

So he basically tried to used a makeshift umbrella. "You... You tried to protect her from the rain?" He nodded timidly. A smile spread across my face. "Daw~! That's so sweet."

"...mm..." He didn't seem to know how to respond. Blue refused to look at me. I blinked. Did I say something wrong?

"Well, uh... Ao seems to really like you."

No response. I took a deep breath and buried my face in my arms, closing my eyes and making sure I didn't dirty my glasses. I ignored the slight pain in my side.

"Thanks again for... you know... helping me and stuff." I yawned, feeling extremely tired all of a sudden. My eyelids started to droop. "You're... really nice." I tried to stay awake, but I was just so tired that I fell asleep the second my eyes closed. It was probably stupid to fall asleep in a cave next to a random stranger and his pet squirrel, but if he really wanted to hurt me... wouldn't he have done it when I was at my most vulnerable state? Though... Just what did he mean by "enemy"? Why does he carry a giant sword like that around? I'm not too sure if I want to find out, but...

I'll... probably ask tomorrow... or whenever I wake up.


	3. An Intruder Alert

**_"The loneliest people are the kindest. The saddest people smile the brightest. The most damaged people are the wisest. All because they do not wish to see anyone suffer the way they do." -Anonymous_**

I awoke in a cold sweat, gasping and breathing heavily. My heart was pounding loudly in my chest, racing from the sudden rush of adrenaline that was flowing through my body. I looked around frantically in fear and confusion as I tried to figure out where I was and why I wasn't in my room, when the memories and events of everything that happened flashed through my mind, hitting me like a ton of bricks. I quickly shot up, panting, my eyes burning with tears that threatened to shed. _Mom!_

A searing pain suddenly wracked my side and I let out a short cry, before clamping my mouth shut with a hand over the wound. I had forgotten about that.

"P'kyuu!" A squeak caught my attention and I slowly turned my head, staring in surprise at Ao.

"H-Hey there, Ao... how's it goin'?" I reached a hand out to pet the squirrel, gently running my finger across her head. "S-Sleep good?" I felt a bit breathless.

Ao gave another squeak in response and I relaxed, gradually getting my breathing back to normal. I wasn't sure how long I sat there petting her, too scared to try and go back to sleep. I had a nightmare about the crash, about my friends and family... The worst part was how vivid and realistic it was. I honestly thought what was going on was really happening to me, but right when a glass shard came flying towards my chest I had snapped awake. All I had seen was blood and mother's lifeless form, and everyone just staring at me with these cold, hateful eyes...

I pulled my knees up to my chest, squeezing my eyes shut. I pulled my hand away from Ao, who let out a protest, and I grabbed a fistful of my hair. _I want to go home..._ I took a shaky breath, trying to ignore the ache in my chest. I inhaled deeply before exhaling, telling myself, "I'm okay. I'm okay." There's nothing that can be done now. I died and that's that. I'm just in some strange afterlife.

 _But if that's the case..._ why am I so _hungry?_

I held back a groan as my stomach growled angrily, twisting uncomfortably. I was so hungry I felt like I was going to throw up-something not uncommon, but still painful. I don't really eat properly, or get enough sleep like I should, and my step-mom tends to get on me for not taking care of myself. I'm used to not eating a lot, but having eaten something and then just not makes me feel sick all over again. I promptly fell onto my good side, resting my head on my arm as I curled up into a ball as best as I could without aggravating my wounds any further. I closed my eyes, ignoring Ao who was prodding my face with her nose trying to get me to open my eyes.

"P'kyuu!"

"Mmm... not now, Ao..." I don't feel very good.

"P'kyuu!" Ao sounded alarmed and I heard the pattering of her footsteps fade away as she ran off. Suddenly the sounds of bells hit my ears and I opened my eyes, slowly sitting up to see Blue near. "P'kyuu!" Somehow, and I have no idea how high squirrels can jump, Ao had leaped up off the ground and jumped straight up onto his shoulder, climbing up and sitting on top of his head.

"Pfft!" I snorted and clamped a hand over my mouth. "Cute." I then paused, frowning when I saw him near. There was something on his mask. "Hey, you okay?" He sat down a few inches away from me, turning his head to look at me. "You... You got some... red stuff right there." I pointed to the spot on his mask, concerned. My voice shook a little as I recalled my dream and my heart pounded harshly. "Did... Did something happen or-?"

He was silent for so long I thought he was going to respond. When he did, I thought my heart was literally going to stop beating from shock. "There... was an intruder." Does he... Does he mean like an "enemy"? He said I wasn't one, but...

"What... did you do exactly?" Please no. Please tell me you didn't.

 _He carries a sword. He wears a mask. His mask has blood on it._

My eyes stung for some reason and my heart just pounded faster and louder as I waited for a response. I was frozen. My fingers twitched as I tried to get my body to work again. Blue was quiet.

I wasn't sure how I felt when he answered. "They... wanted to use me... and my curse. It is my job... to eliminate... enemies." He had seemed extremely reluctant to answer. I tried to wrap my mind around what he told me.

"But..." I had no idea what to say. I didn't how to react or think or anything. I was in shock. "D-Did... did they try to hurt you?" S-Self defense? S-Say it's self defense, please... "A-And... you only... k-killed them because you had to?"

Every part of my brain that was logical screamed at me to run, yet all my instincts said this man meant no harm. That he wouldn't hurt anyone. I wasn't sure which part to listen to.

Blue stared at me for a long, suffocating moment before turning his head and lowering it, reaching into his fur coat and pulling out what seemed to be a red apple. "They... harmed some of the villagers here... because of me. I... had to stop them." I watched, almost in slow motion, as he reached behind him and pulled his sword out from behind his back. How he didn't cut himself by doing that I didn't know, but I could only watch in slight panic as he lowered it to the apple he set on the ground. He sliced it in thirds easily. "I... didn't want... them to hurt anyone else." I stiffened when he picked up a slice and held it out to me. "They... had food on them, so... I took it." It's not like they would even need it anymore.

I was scared to move, but I tentatively reached out and took the apple slice from him. My fingers brushed against his and I almost recoiled at how warm his hands were. A murderer's hands shoulder be cold, right?

Ao was already nibbling on one of the slicer that were on the ground. Blue reached up and grabbed his own, biting into it and chewing slowly. I just stared at him, then looked down at the slice in my hands. My stomach grumbled painfully, but I couldn't do anything. I felt numb, paralyzed to the spot.

This is how he got food. This is what he meant by "enemy". If... I had been after him, he would have-but how did he know I wasn't? "H-How...?" He swallowed and looked at me. I wished I could see his eyes so I could see his emotions. My face felt cold and my eyes burned, a part of my mind registering I was crying again. His mouth went slightly agape before he closed it, lips tiling down in a frown. "How did... How do you know _I'm_ not an enemy? Wh-Why didn't you kill me, too? Why are you being so nice when you don't even know me!?" My voice cracked, it going higher and higher in pitch. "How do you know I'm not after you, too!?"

He stared at me for the longest time and I tried not to blink, attempting to keep my gaze steady, bu the stinging pain was hard to ignore.

"H-How do you kn-know I'm not a... b-bad guy?"

Then, to my confusion, he tapped the spot on his mask right next to where the eye holes were. Despite the holes being there, I couldn't make out anything of his eyes. "You... appeared out of nowhere..." My eyes widened. "Ao... trusts you. When you saw me... you had no idea who I was. You don't... know about my curse."

"I-I could just be playing dumb!"

What... am I doing? I... don't know. Do I... _want_ him to kill me? Why am I saying all these things...?

Blue shook his head.

"H-How do you know I'm n-not just waiting for-for the... the right t-time to strike o-or something?" Shut up... quit talking Irene... why are you being so... stupid?

"I saw... you with Ao... when that man tried to... lock you underground." My lips curled back and my teeth ground together. "If you... wanted to hurt him... you wouldn't have ran behind me." My shoulders shook and the tears kept falling. It hurt too much to try and stop them. He looked down at the apple slice in my hand. "You... should eat. I know... you're scared of me now... but you need something in your stomach."

"P'kyuu!" Ao agreed.

Staring at the slice in my hands and thinking about his words, I let out slight laugh. Blue tilted his head in confusion. "I... I don't know _how_ I feel. O-One part of me is saying "run, run away" wh-while the other is saying "he's nice. I'm not scared"." It grew harder to speak, as the more I talked the more a sob tried to build up in the back of my throat. "I-I just... I don't understand... h-how you could... _kill_ someone." The idea of hurting someone purposefully in and of itself left me feeling cold, but the idea of _killing_ someone... even in self defense... it made me feel sick. Blue's just... "Y-You're so friendly. I-I don't get... I-I can't... _process_ how you're able to... even _if_ they hurt someone and it was out of defense, I just can't..." I took a deep breath, trying to calm myself. I faced away, leaning against the wall. "I'm okay. I'm okay. Lots to think about it. I-I'm not scared. I'm okay." I inhaled and exhaled deeply multiple times, trying my hardest to not freak out and snap out of my shock. "I get why you did it, I-I just... uh... th-thank you for... the food." I swallowed thickly, trying to divert my attention, and reluctantly bit into the apple slice.

I stiffened when I felt something furry nuzzle my cheek, but relaxed when I realized it was just Ao. She made me feel a little better, acting so cute like that... Now that I think about it, I think this is the most Blue had ever spoken.

It didn't take long for me to finish, but when I did I just sat there processing all this information and tried to figure out how to deal with it and react. After what felt like hours, but was probably only really ten or thirty minutes, I spoke up. My voice was quiet (for once) but he seemed to hear me. "How did you see me running from that guy when... when you were somewhere else?"

I thought he wasn't going to answer. I seem to think that a lot, actually. Blue said, "My curse... let's me see far away."

I lifted my head up and stared at him curiously. "W-Wait, like... how far?"

"...I can... see distances and people... miles away."

My face just went blank. "How is that a curse?" He didn't respond. "Dude, being able to see like that is awesome! If I had vision like you I wouldn't freaking need these!" I pointed at my glasses. While my vision wasn't all that bad, I still wore them as I had trouble reading the words on the blackboard at school. Well, washboard actually. They stopped using blackboards and chalk around the time I hit eighth grade. Now we're using freaking computers! I miss my textbooks... even if I do like listening to the music while working on my homework. My fear of him possibly killing me vanished temporarily, along with the thought that he killed other people. Being simple-minded and one-tracked as I was, it was easy to distract me. It wouldn't be long before I freaked out again though. "You got, like, the best vision ever!"

He shook his head persistently. "It's... a curse."

"How?" He turned his head away. I made a face, sticking my lips out in an annoyed pout, and huffed. "Fine, don't tell me." I then remembered the dark conversation from before and hesitated. "You... You only kill... because you have to, right? Y-You... don't want to?" For a brief second I was scared he was going to say "no", but after a few more seconds of silence he nodded. I let out a breath I hadn't even known I was holding and rested a hand over my chest where my heart was beating, "Oh thank god... Don't scare me like that." I had thought he was a cold-blooded murderer for a second. "Freakin' freaking me out! Not okay." I tried for a laugh, but it came out weak.

He just stared at me. "You aren't... going to run away?" I stared at him blankly.

"Where would I go?" His mouth opened, but no words came out. "O-Okay, g-granted you killed some people, but that was out of self-defense! You're the nicest person I've met so far and the only one I trust, s-so... yeah. And you're here by yourself a-and that probably gets... lonely so I'm staying here to bug you!" Wait, hold on. Realization flashed across my face, a look of confusion contorting across my features. "How come... you don't live with the villagers?" Villagers... not citizens. Kimonos, swords, dragons... curses. Have I really... ?

My fingers twitched, itching to grab the necklace and read what was written again. There was no way. It just wasn't possible. If I was dead, how could I feel hunger? How can I feel pain? How can I feel _anything_ ranging from emotions to physicality?

"You... you said you were cursed." I began hesitantly, almost frightened to be wrong. He looked down at me. "A-And... you live in here by yourself with Ao, right?" He nodded. "S-So... are the villagers... forcing you to stay here?"

"..."

"They're scared of you, aren't they?" He hesitantly nodded. "But why!? You're protecting them, aren't you? You just said that you fought those bad guys for them because they were hurting them! So how come!? If your curse is just being able to see really well, then what's so-"

He stood. I cut myself off, alarmed. Is he going to kill me to shut me up? "They brought... reinforcements." Wait, what?

"H-Huh?"

"Stay here."

"W-Wait, hold on!" I stood, reaching out to grab his arm. He looked at me, the bells jingling again. "Wh-What do you mean?" More bad guys? How many? I'm so lost! Explain, Blue, explain! Speak English! "A-Are you going to kill them, too?"

"...It's my job... to eliminate enemies." With that he gently pried my fingers off and walked away. I stood there in the darkness of the room, hardly able to see if my eyes had not grown used to the constant black, before plopping down onto the ground. I winced when the wound on my leg got pulled on, but ignored it and instead just stared at the spot where Blue had left. He... was going to hurt people. _People who wanted to hurt him... right?_ I bit my bottom lip, chewing nervously on the skin, before looking around. M-Maybe I should wait here... H-He can handle himself. He's strong, isn't he? He's been living here for who knows how long and... definitely knows how to use that sword he carries around. _But can he fist fight? What if he gets hurt?_

Funny how I'm more worried about him than people who are going to potentially die.

 _That man... the one who tried to grab me before... he seemed scared of him, so Blue must be able to take care of himself. I-I mean, he did say that it's his job to take down bad guys, right? S-So what am I fretting for?_ Grow up, Irene. Stop freaking out and take a breather. I inhaled deeply and slowly stood, placing all my weight onto my left food as my right leg was injured. I took a shaky breath, hugging myself as I walked over to a wall. _I can't believe I'm freaking out this bad about him getting hurt._ But... until recently, I never really thought about how scary death was. I've... always known it was out there, heck I even write dark fanfictions. I know there's war and death and rape and murder... I just never really... _experienced_ it myself, I guess, and now that I have I'm terrified.

I don't want to lose Blue. I don't want him to have to go through that kind of pain.

And of course, because I'm a twisted and messed up person I ended up imaginary all the different scenarios of how he could die. I curled into a ball with my knees to my chest, grabbing fistfuls of my hair and muttering to myself. _He's fine, he's fine, he's fine._ "H-He's going to be okay. He's going to be okay. Blue is safe. He's safe." Who knows what kind of people he's fighting though? Th-They could be ganging up on him and-and he wouldn't see the man behind him and- " _No!_ He's fine! Blue is _okay_." Please, please, be safe.

The sound of footsteps had me lifting my head, and not really thinking about it I called out, "Blue?" Only to realize my mistake. There was no sound of bells. Suddenly someone was charging at me, sword in the air. My eyes went wide and I screamed, quickly rolling to the side and avoiding getting sliced in half. The man's blade sliced against the earth, causing me to flinch at the sound. "Wh-What're you doing?" My voice shook and I stepped back, casting a quick look behind to make sure no one was sneaking up on me and turned back to the man who yanked his sword out of the wall.

"A woman?" He sounded surprised. _Definitely_ not Blue. Voice and body structure was all wrong, not to mention his vile manners. W-Wait, maybe he didn't hurt girls? "Heh... looks like we're gettin' more than a dragon's power tonight. How about you be a doll and come this way so I don't have to hurt ya?" Never mind.

"I'm done. I'm out. Goodbye world." I quickly whirled around and started to power-walk away, limping.

"Hey, get back here, you bitch!"

"G-Gyah!" I shrieked and stepped on it, breaking into a run as fast as I could without killing my lungs. Luckily the guy was rather slow, but his sword had a long reach and my lungs and legs were starting to get tired. I'm suddenly glad the Band lock-in was recent and I had did so much running around that day. My heart was pounding, _thumping_ in my chest so loud and painfully I thought it was going to explode. It soon became near impossible to breathe as he chased me down the corridors, and I briefly registered that there was screaming in the distance far behind us. _I'm getting farther from Blue_ , I realized, but knew I couldn't turn back without becoming skewered. I tripped and stumbled, my clumsiness just barely saving me from losing my head as the sword swooped above my head. I screamed and slid, falling and rolling on the ground.

Quickly rolling out of the way as the man stabbed the sword into the ground I aimed a kick at his calf, shrieking a loud, "Sorry!" before pushing myself onto my jelly legs. I couldn't even feel my wound anymore. My lungs were on fire at this point and I was practically hyperventilating. If I stopped again I know I was going to get caught. I.. have to... keep going!

 _Remember **Undertale** :_ _the idea of Blue beating up all these bad guys and saving your sorry ass fills you with DETERMINATION!_ Oh god, brain, now is not the time. _Blue, I swear to god if you're not safe I'm going to beat you!_ I stumbled to an abrupt stop and turned sharply into a corner, only to freeze in horror. "No... No, no, no, no, no! No!" I quickly made to run back and see if there was another exit, but I was blocked. I stepped back, staring fearfully at the man nearing me. A strangled cry formed in the back of my throat and I did my best to hide my fear, trying not to tremble. "Wh-What the heck do you want!?" What did he say earlier? "Getting more than dragon's power tonight"? _He's not planning to..._ I felt sick, like I was going to throw up. My eyes stung as I tried to desperately to calm my breathing, but my vision was blurry and dark spots were dancing in my vision.

I coughed violently, taking a step back only to fall, my legs giving out on me. _N-No! B-Breathe!_ I clawed at my chest with my hand, pounding my fist against it frantically and trying to back away the man kept nearing, a sick grin forming on his face. I was still gasping and choking when he grabbed me by the collar of my jacket, slamming me against the wall that signaled the dead end. Suddenly I could breathe again, as if that sudden attack was all I needed to scare my lungs into function once more. I coughed and gasped, greedily absorbing all the air I could, before hacking into my shoulder. I stared weakly and in horror at the man close to me, who was eyeing my form with a look in his eyes that scared me.

"You're not bad on the eyes, girly." He then licked his lips and tugged at my jackets, causing me to flinch and try to kick him away. A stinging pain suddenly formed in my left cheek when he slapped me, grabbing a fistful of my hair and slamming my head against the wall. I cried out, tears welling up in my eyes as he straddled me. "Dressed pretty light, aren't ya? Not even wearin' a proper kimono... You're his little whore, aren't ya? Even a monster like him needs to have a little fun every once in a while, ain't I right?" He grabbed my jaw roughly, forcing me to look up at him.

N-No... Get away! "Blue isn't a monster! And like hell I am! N-Now get off!" I-I won't accept this! I-I don't care if I hurt him, I-I'm not gonna lose my V-card this way! Fuck it, I'm not going to let myself get freaking _raped_ in general! I let out another scream when he slammed my head against the wall again. I whimpered, feeling a warm liquid trailing down my face. I closed my left eye, knowing that my head was bleeding.

"Shut up! You know, once I beat a little sense into ya, you're gonna sell for a high price. Especially with that strange marking on your face. Now do me a favor and be a good little doll, alright?"

I screamed in agony when he forced me onto my feet by my hair, unbearable pressure being put on my wounded leg and skull. I didn't even have time to ponder what he meant by "strange marking" before he hit me again, knocking my glasses off of my face and sending them crashing into the ground. I didn't have the strength to try and catch them.

"Stop your yappin'! Besides, now that I think about it, I can even use ya for a hostage. He isn't gonna hurt his little bitch, now is he?" F-Freaking vulgar language! I hate cursing, but you, dear sir, are _pissing me off!_ Ever hear of a dictionary? Get a better vocabulary! No one likes your colorful language! Hell, you made me f-bomb earlier! That's how mad I am!

"I-I'm not his-" All the air suddenly left me when his knee slammed into my gut, iron forming in my mouth as an unbearable pain formed in my side. My wound was reopened. Blood spattered on the ground as I hacked, gasping and wheezing. My vision was blurry and I felt lightheaded. I saw him yank his sword out of the wall.

"I said to _shut up!"_ I squeezed my eyes, being dragged along as my legs tried desperately to stay working. My body didn't want to deal with anymore abuse. _I want to go home, I want to go home-_ a sob formed in the back of my throat and I choked, still tasting iron. "Talk about a nuisance... Move your damn feet already." I struggled to follow, even more pain forming when he got just even the slightest bit ahead. It was hard to stay close to him and I suddenly regretted having Tiana's friend give me an undercut. This would be less painful if I had longer hair-or maybe not. It would probably hurt more, actually. At the moment I don't really care; I just hated having hair in general right now. My face felt numb and sore, and if it weren't for the bandages on my leg and abdomen I'm sure I'd be bleeding much more profusely than I currently am. "Now, where's your dragon friend?"

"D-Dragons don't freaking exist!" I said, voice going up a pitch as I tried to figure out how to get out of this predicament. It's amazing that I was even still able to think with my current migraine. I don't even _know_ where Blue's at, but even if he's called the "Blue Dragon" I'm not gonna freaking give this guy any info! Blue's my friend! At least... I think he is... "A-Are you insane-!?" He released my hair and gave me another slap, using enough force to knock my body off its already wobbling legs and onto the ground. "I-I don't know where-"

A kick in the side. "Don't _lie_ to me! I know you know where he's at! Why else would _you_ behere in this gross place!?"

"B-Because I want to be?" I retorted, trying to push myself up only to fall back down. _What am I doing? H-He's going to kill me... but if I tell him where Blue is, he'll kill him. I-I don't want... I don't want either to happen. I don't want to see Blue hurt._ Even... Even if he doesn't see me as one, I sorta consider him a friend. " _Gyaaah!"_ He grabbed my hair again, lifting me up onto my knees. How my hair hadn't fallen out of my head yet I have no idea. I knew it was thick, but _dayum_ I had no idea it was _that_ thick. Shit. No. Stop cursing, Irene. But _damn it all_ it hurts!

I let out another whimper, tears streaming down my face despite my protest for them not to. "Tell me where he's _at!_ "

"I-I already said I don't know! B-Besides, even if I did I wouldn't tell you! You-You just want to hurt him!" He's done _nothing_ to you! " _Guh!"_ Another knee to the stomach. He then promptly threw me to the side, releasing his hold on me, when an arm suddenly reached out and caught me, pulling me close and against someone's firm chest.

 _Ba-Dump. Ba-Dump._ Angry heartbeat. Face swollen it was hard to see, but through the darkness I could see a blade come down and slash my attacker across the chest, before plunging straight into his stomach. Red splattered everywhere and I was reminded of the car crash, but that memory was soon wiped out of my mind as I slowly recalled all that had just happened. I watched the other arm flick the sword, ridding it of most of the blood, before reaching behind his back and sheathing it. The other hand moved to help me stand and I looked up, seeing a blurry vision of a man in a mask.

The tinkling of bells hit my ears and a fresh wave of tears came, these ones relieved and happy. "B-Blue...?" Seeing him look down at me and nod I gave in, lips curling back as I choked back sobs and hiccups, my teeth grounding together. I was shaking violently, so relieved I thought I was going black out. "Y-You... you're okay..." He seemed surprised, his mouth opening slightly in his usual expression. "You... You _idiot!_ I was so scared!" I lunged and hit him weakly on the chest, before hugging him as best as I could. I was practically blubbering at this point. Unfortunately, the sudden movement of hugging him caused me to go dizzy, the world spinning out of control and my legs gave out. I fell to my hands and knees at Blue's feet, wheezing and swaying as I tried to keep a hold on reality. He knelt down beside me, hands out and hovering about me but not knowing what do. "F-Freaking... I-I can't... breathe..." Oh god, I feel so sick. Wait, whose blood is this?

I gingerly raised a hand to my side only to recoil, a thick coating of blood on my hand. Finally able to focus on my pain I collapsed, unable to stay up any longer as I realized just how numb and sore I really am. I saw black spots, my head pounding ferociously.

"Ah..." Blue let out a small gasp, alarmed, and I heard a familiar "P'kyuu" of Ao squeaking. Almost frightfully he rolled me onto my back. I was still awake, but numb and limb. I was too scared to fall asleep. "...Irene?" I groaned.

"I'm awake... I-I just... c-can't... move..." My voice cracked. He frowned and carefully slid a hand underneath my knees and behind my back, gingerly lifting me up. My head lolled and rested against his shoulder as he carried me. Ao squeaked and quickly climbed up onto Blue's shoulders. "I-I'm sorry..."

Blue simply shook his head, his way of saying "Don't apologize". The only thing he said after that as he walked quickly was, "Stay awake." It felt like hours that he walked... though really it was probably only ten minutes. I just felt weaker and weaker, growing more dizzy and tired by the second. More blood kept dripping along the ground and soon Blue was running.

 _Ba-Dump. Ba-Dump,_ his heart went. It was calmer now, but still rather fast. It wasn't angry this time... but sounded more scared. Heh... kinda like me right now, I guess.

The sound of rushing water hit my ears and I grunted when I was suddenly placed on the ground. Blue pulled the jackets off and pushed my shirt up enough to to reveal the bandaging around my side. "Ao."

As if on queue the squirrel bounded up with a bunch of cloth in its mouth. He quickly took it from the squirrel and shoved it in the stream, scrubbing it briefly, before pulling it out and ringing it. Setting it on the ground he undid the wrapping on my side, quickly pressing the wet cloth against the wound. I cringed and cried out, but quickly held my tongue and bit back anymore groans. It hurt. Suddenly Ao was the one pressing the cloth against my wound, putting pressure against it as Blue washed the bloody bandages out in the stream. "P'kyuu!" I opened my eyes, breathing heavily as I gazed blearily at the squirrel. "Kyuu! Kyuu!" Oh god, she's so cute.

I winced, laughing hurting too much, and settled for a strained smile as I looked at the animal.

Blue gently pushed Ao away and folded the bloody cloth, gently getting as much stray blood as he could with one hand before placing the white cloth bandaging against it, slowly removing the bloody fabric and setting it on the ground. He carefully lifted me up, Ao helping hold the wrapping in place, and wrapped the cloth around my abdomen several times before tying it. He set me back down and I grunted, eyes closed. I felt like saying a deadpan "ow" but I just didn't have the strength. I barely even had the energy to groan. I heard him shift around and felt him lift my head, searching for the newest head wound I had received.

It was hard to think clearly and I just felt like I was going to throw up. My migraine got worse and worse and I thought I was going to pass out at any moment. Suddenly a damp cloth pressed against the side of my head and I winced a little, before relaxing. My head was resting against something soft and it took me a moment to realize Blue had set my head on his lap. I still wondered why he was helping me so much, but didn't question it. I was thankful he was so kind. "I don't... have any extra bandages..." He said softly, but loud enough that I could hear him. "I'm sorry..."

"It's... fine..." I'm so tired. My breathing started to slow down.

I heard the tinkling of bells and assumed he shook his head. "They were... after _me_. Because of my curse... you got badly injured. When you're better, you should... leave to someplace safe."

 **Read and Review. Comments are always appreciated. :)**


	4. Growing Closer

How many days have passed... four, maybe five? I wasn't sure. My phone had died on me a while back, so it was completely useless to keep track of the days (and no internet, so it wasn't like I could call anybody), and it was hard keeping track of time on a watch when you could barely even see in the darkness. If it wasn't for the constant ringing of Blue's bell whenever he moved I almost wouldn't know he was there most of the time. His footsteps were quiet, like a mouse, and when he ran he was fast and oddly graceful, almost like a cat. It was a rather funny comparison now that I think about it. He even had a few funny quirks.

One time, Ao had accidentally startled him, sneaking up on him from behind and caused him to slip and fall into the stream where he brushed his teeth with a rough cloth (something that was apparently completely normal?) took baths, got drinking water, and did his laundry. According to him, clean water rushes through every day so the stream he uses never gets polluted. It would be nice if that was how it was back where _I_ was from, but water and air was polluted everywhere and I'm not even sure how much clean water there actually _is_ outside of what we drink and take showers with. But anyway, he had fallen in the stream and his jacket (being as it was made out of leather) seemed to not want to dry. Thankfully he had changed out of his clothes in a different room so I wasn't traumatized, but when he came out he had the fur from his mask wrapped around him to keep him warm.

When he sat down he had promptly curled into a fur ball of some sort with his head and feet sticking out. I don't think I've laughed that hard since the band-lock in a month or two ago. Blue had me in tears-whether from it just being that funny or because my ribs really hurt I didn't know. It seemed I wasn't the only one who absolutely dreaded and despised the cold.

I still retained quite a few reminders of the attack that happened a while back- I had bruises and swelling on my face (which was mostly healed by this point, thankfully) a concussion, and bruised ribs. My side was still pretty bad, but I barely noticed it.

I've also been having nightmares, something that was odd for me. I normally never had nightmares, but... after everything that happened I understand that it's pretty normal. Who _wouldn't_ have nightmares after being in a crash, waking up some place new, and then getting the utter life beat out of you and watching said abuser get stabbed to death?

...Don't answer that. It's just... this isn't something I ever really thought would happen. I'm still having trouble processing that this is reality sometimes. It just... doesn't really seem real, you know? But... I know it is. Especially after the attack...

 _I'm fine._ I resisted the urge to curl up into a ball, knowing that I would only hurt myself further if I did so. I pulled the fur that was covering me like a blanket over my face, biting my lip as I fought against tears. _I'm fine. I'm okay. Blue saved me. I'm fine._ But what about him? How long has he been doing this-fighting off all these bad guys that popped up because of some supposed "curse"? _What if there are too many and he actually gets hurt?_ I remembered how the man had grabbed my hair, kneeing me in the stomach and slamming my head against the earthen walls. His sick words and disgusting gaze... _I... I've never been so scared in my life._ I quickly wiped at the tears streaming down my face, sniffling loudly as I tried to hold back the sob that was beginning to bubble up my throat. I closed my eyes, taking a deep breath. _But... Blue is here. Blue is strong, isn't he?_ He... killed that man.

My eyes opened, staring blankly into the darkness. I had lost my glasses-I think the man had knocked them off with one of his hits, I'm not sure. I don't really remember much. I do remember Blue's words before I passed out though.

 _"When you're better... you should leave to someplace safe."_

He wanted me gone. He didn't want me here. I'm a nuisance. A bother. A useless girl who can't even protect herself.

 _"Besides, now that I think about it, I can even use ya for a hostage."_ Ignoring the pain in my side and chest, I rolled onto my front with a grunt and flinch. My nails dug into the ground as I slowly balled my hands into fists, forcefully pushing myself up onto my knees. My head pounded loudly, the world going blurry from the sudden movement. _"He isn't gonna hurt his little bitch, now is he?"_ I'm not... his freaking... bitch! Vulgar bastard. As horrible as I felt for thinking it, and as sick as it made me just remembering how his blood splattered everywhere as Blue's sword pierced him, I was glad he was dead. But... even though Blue had saved me... he doesn't want me here.

I was stupid for thinking we were friends. This is what I get for getting so easily attached to people. _Even still... if someone else comes... they might try and use me to ambush him._ He was nice, but... we weren't friends. He's not going to care if he has to run me through with a sword to get to the "enemy". I'm just worthless baggage...

But a part of me thought that maybe he'd stop- that he'd care enough to find a way to get me out of being a hostage before attacking the bad guy. I doubted it though. It was just good timing that he had arrived when the man had thrown me, allowing Blue to stab the man without harming me in the process. If the man had still be holding me... who knows what Blue would have done? It's not like I know him that well... for even if he was kind, I wasn't his friend. I thought of him as mine, but... I was wrong. He wanted me to leave. Who would try to save someone that they didn't really care that much about? I doubt anyone is that selfless.

The fur fell to the ground as I shakily stood, my breathing growing irregular rather quickly. My lungs felt as though they were constricting and I gasped, wheezing painfully as I wobbled towards the exit. I didn't think about grabbing my jackets for once, too dizzy and too sick to even remember I wasn't wearing them. _Blue doesn't... want me here._ Darkness danced in my vision as I neared the cavern doorway, so close to the exit of the room. My eyelids began to droop, the throbbing in my head only growing more and more constant and painful, my body beginning to sway. My legs began to go numb, feeling similar to jelly. My eyes stung, but I didn't know why. My heart hurt. _He hates me and doesn't want me here. I know that, but..._

I reached a hand out, vision blurry as my eyes began to burn. Something cold fell down my cheeks. It was hard to breathe. I heard the tinkling of bells as the world began to spin. My eyes slid closed just as I caught sight of blue and white, and I felt a rush of wind hit me as my legs gave out.

 _I want to stay here with him._

I blacked out, feeling someone catch me just before I hit the floor.

My dream consisted of me running again, the man from before swinging his sword wildly as he tried to hit me. I was breathing heavily, my feet pounding against the stone floor as my body threatened to give out from exhaustion. Despite the pain I kept running, refusing to stop and let myself get killed- or whatever else he planned to do with me. I ran down corridor after corridor, the endless maze seeming to just go on forever, when I turned a corner and saw it happen.

Red was everywhere, decorating the walls and floors and the bodies all around. Blue's mask flew off just as I entered the room, but shadows covered his face so all I could see was his hair and his open mouth, the male screaming as blood dribbled down his chin and splattered on the ground. A sword was protruding venomously out of his chest. What happened next wasn't even really a scream-it was more like a banshee's screech as I called out to him. I ran to catch him as he fell forward, but he simply turned into ash. His blood covered my entire being, as if symbolizing that _I_ was the reason for his death. Because I was useless. Because I was being chased and couldn't help. I wasn't able to save him.

I choked on the tears, practically hyperventilating as I stared at the spot where he had been just moments ago.

And then, right as the sword pierced my throat from behind, my eyes snapped open and I was back in the dark cave with the fur covering me. I shot up without thinking of consequences, shouting Blue's name in horror and outstretching a hand in front of me as if I were still in the nightmare, running towards him as he fell. I couldn't feel any physical pain.

But then I froze, hearing the familiar and comforting sound of bells. Swallowing thickly I slowly turned my head to look beside me, only to see Blue staring at me in confusion with his mouth open and head tilted. Tears welled up in my eyes and I choked, moving and wrapping my arms around his neck tightly as I forced myself onto my knees, hugging him. I fought frantically against the tears, repeating to myself in my head that he was safe and alive. I could hear his heart beat from my head being so close to his neck. I soon pulled away, my eyes raking his form as I checked for any injuries. Once I was satisfied I pulled away with a hand over my chest, heaving an exhausted sigh of relief. "You're okay..."

"P'kyuu?" Ao squeaked, as if asking the question Blue was most probably wondering. I looked at the squirrel in surprise before suddenly cringing and wrapping an arm around my waist, sweat beading down my face as pain wracked my ribs.

"J-Just... had... a bad dream," I bit out, trying to grin. Spots danced in my eyesight, making it hard to stay focused. I forced my fear into the pit of my stomach, glad at how my physical pain was currently distracting me from fear or nervousness, and I looked up at Blue- staring into the darkness of his mask's eye sockets. "S-Sorry 'bout... the hug. Didn't mean... to freak you out." My voice was strained. I almost asked if he wanted me to go ahead and just leave, but found myself holding my tongue.

Blue lowered his head, as if thinking, before slowly shaking his head. I stared up at him, squinting a little as the right side of my face was still a little swollen from being hit so much. It was really weird not having my glasses-especially since I seemed to be able to see just perfectly without them. My vision had never been that bad to start with, yet now it was as if I never needed them in the first place.

I remained staring at Blue, trying to piece together what it was he was trying to convey with his single head shake, when he raised his hand. I instinctively flinched, remembering how I had been slapped and beaten, but my eyes opened in surprise when I felt him rest the limb gently on the top of my head, patting it.

 _Is... he telling me that it's okay?_ I wasn't too sure, yet at the same time I think that was what he was doing. I wish I was better at reading people... but on the bright side, I think I'm getting a little better at understanding his actions. He doesn't use words much, and his mask covers up his eyes and most of his face so I can't really get an expression other than the slightest movement of his lips, so I have to rely on body language.

After a long moment Blue removed his hand and I awkwardly laid back down, pausing only after I got situated comfortably on my back with the fur pulled over me completely. "H-Hey, Blue...?" I could hear the tinkling of bells. "Thank you... for everything." I pulled the fur over my head, hiding my face from him best as I could. _I'm sorry for being such a pain._ Silly Irene... apologizing isn't going to make anything better. Still, knowing that he was close to me reassured me that he was safe. That he was alive and that I had merely been dreaming earlier. _I'm so glad you're okay..._ I'm a little amazed at just how scared I was. I didn't realize how attached I had grown to him... _I'm so stupid._ I should be distancing myself, refusing myself any conversation or interaction with him, but... I was selfish.

I'm a selfish sixteen-year-old girl who's scared, confused, and missing her family. Can... Can you really blame me for that?

Like a child I scooted closer to Blue, the top of my head touching his leg to reassure me of his presence. As long as I know he's there...

"P'kyuu!" I moved my gaze as saw Ao poke her head in, wiggling and popping in underneath the blanket. With a cute little, "Kyuu" she dashed up to me and nuzzles my cheek with her nose, cuddling up to me and falling asleep near my shoulder. I smiled lightly at her, feeling the warmth of happiness bloom in my chest, and closed my eyes. _I... missed them... more than I thought. I'm so glad... they're okay..._

I fell asleep.

* * *

More days went by, thus giving my wounds more time to heal. I kept waiting for Blue to tell me when to leave, but he kept saying "when I get better" and other times he just didn't answer at all. The swelling on my face and the bruises I had received were mostly gone, and my concussion wasn't that bad anymore and I could finally walk without getting too terribly dizzy and fainting. My leg wound was completely healed, all that was left of it being a thin scar, but my side was still really nasty for some reason. I really hope it wasn't infected... but knowing my luck, it probably is. Guess I'll find out if I get sick or if puss or something starts to come out of it. It wasn't like we had any real medical supplies... but as long as I didn't do anything too strenuous or bend over wrong I barely noticed it was there.

My ribs, thankfully, weren't as badly bruised as I thought so they were healing pretty nicely as well-so I believe. My nightmares kept getting worse though and they were actually beginning to hinder my sleep. They were all usually about the crash, or the attack, but occasionally I'd have one even more frightening than the two combined and I'd wake up in sweat and tears, trying desperately to forget it.

I can't tell you the amount of times I've seen Blue die.

I just about had a panic attack when I woke up one time and he wasn't in the room. Turned out he was just looking for food, but I think I gave him a heart attack when I broke down into tears. I felt so weak and pathetic, but more relieved than I ever had been before in my life. A few more days had passed after that, marking my stay of a little over half a month, and I was half-awake, trying to stay awake but at the same time trying to sleep. I was scared of having another nightmare, but at the same time I was really tired.

I had relaxed at the sound of bells, but opened my eyes tiredly when a hand lightly pat my cheek. I rolled onto my back, staring up at Blue who was kneeling over my form on the ground. I gave a look of confusion, knitting my eyebrows together. "Blue...?" I yawned loudly, raising a hand over my mouth, and asked, "What's up?"

"You... need to change clothes..."

I blinked at him groggily, brain slowly trying to process everything he was saying. "Hah...?" I yawned as I said that, causing it to be dragged out. "What's wrong with my clothes?" He stared at me from behind the mask and I finally took the time to look down at myself and what I was wearing. "Oh..." Bloodstained, torn and ripped, and just dirty and gross in general. Before you ask, _yes_ I had been taking baths-no, I never changed clothes. I didn't _have_ clothes to change into. Heck, I was only able to "brush" my teeth since Blue didn't seem to mind or care that much about sharing the rough cloth, and I only got clean because he shared what little soap he had.

He just gets nicer and nicer and I'm just being a jerk as I have no way to repay him. I just feel plain awful.

"I don't have any clothes to change into though..." Heck, I don't even think Blue himself has clothes to change into unless he steals the ones from his attackers. (Would say victims, but that sounds cruel) I watched him suddenly turn around and start to walk away. My eyes widened and I fumbled stand, "H-Hey! Blue!" I wobbled, going a little dizzy from how fast I got up, before chasing after him, "Wait up! Blue!" Where was he going? Am I supposed to follow him? I had no idea, but I quickened my pace and reached a hand out, ready to grab onto his sleeve.

He slowed down and grabbed my hand, letting me walk and match his pace. Blue had really long legs, being as tall as he was, so I had to struggle to keep up with him.

In case nobody caught on yet, I'm pretty darn short.

I blame my mom's side of the family. She was 5'2, my sister Tiana being 5'5. Melissa was around 5'8 and my brother was around Blue's height, maybe an inch shorter and standing at 5'10. My dad was around the same height, I think, and my step-mom was 5'. I was taller than my step-mom, but shorter than everyone else, which left me at the painful knowledge that I was in fact only 5'1 and cursed with the height of Haruhi Fujioka. Being short had its advantages, I'll admit, but I was often the brunt of bad jokes and if it wasn't for the fact that I took after my grandma in body shape I'd be mistaken as a twelve-year-old for more than just my face. Heck, it wasn't even until I got my hair cut that people finally started to realize-hey, she's sixteen! Wow.

It sucked. Especially since all my guys friends are tall-A.K.A Andrew and Chris, and now Blue.

My fingers wrapped around his instinctively instead of pulling away, showing just how much I trusted him despite the short-ish time I've known him. Not surprisingly his hand was much bigger than mine, his palm big and fingers long and slender. My hand was small, with short, skinny fingers. I think he had-oh, what was it? Water hands? I think I had either earth or fire hands.

Either way, his hand was compellingly warm. It made me feel safe.

It was odd, especially since I never really _hold_ hands with people. The last time I held someone's hand was at the lock-in (a lot of things happened that day) and I ended up having a panic attack after being unable to breathe properly for quite some time. A couple of our bandmates thought it would be funny to shoot nerf guns at me, Chris, and Eliza, and I ended up running for my life as I was scared of getting hurt. I ended up slicing my wrist on a table Chris had knocked over for us to use a shield and after running for only a few minutes my lungs and legs felt like they were on fire-like they were about to collapse. I couldn't even _feel_ my legs anymore after a bit more of that and I literally wasn't breathing, but somehow I was still moving.

I remember falling and getting back up, only to be knocked right back onto the floor as I slammed into Chris. I wasn't able to get up again after that and the couple had to lug me back to the stairs. We rested for about an hour before we were attacked again. I wasn't able to stop myself from breaking down into tears, panicking as my breathing got labored. It felt almost as if walls were closing in around me. Eliza tried to comfort me after that-the only comfort I allowed myself for the longest time. Whenever I had my attacks I was always usually in the shower(a confined space) and ended up rocking back-and-forth for a few good minutes trying to convince myself I was perfectly fine and get my breathing back to normal. Other times I'd be in my room trying to sleep and I'd remember everything that happened and I'd start to freak out and get scared.

Sometimes I was terrified to sleep, thinking that if I closed my eyes I might never wake up. It was stupid, I know, but... it really scares me-not being able to breathe...

Without realizing it my hand had tightened around Blue's. He looked down at me, probably a little surprised or confused, but didn't question it or say anything about it and merely looked forward as we continued to walk.

It didn't take long for us to arrive. I blinked, lifting my head up and looking at him. "The stream?" He released my hand and pointed at multiple objects located on the ground: the bar of half-used soap, a small towel, and a dark brown kimono that was folded and set next to them. Realizing that he was telling me to change into the kimono after I bathed I asked, "What do you want me to do with my clothes?"

"Leave them here... I'll wash them later."

I opened my mouth to protest, ready to say that _I_ could wash them, but I closed it and held my tongue as I knew I had no idea of how to do that. Heck, I only ever did the dishes and vacuum back at home, and I only knew how to work the dryer because mom needed help with the laundry when she had her gallbladder taken out. So, how in the name of all that is good and mighty, am I supposed to know how to do laundry _without_ something I never even knew how to work in the first place? "O-Oh... okay. Thank you." I felt horrible, but grateful all the same.

Blue seriously was different compared to anyone else I ever met. Most people were jerks, family was just... family. They made fun of you and teased you, but loved you all the same, and friends were pretty similar-if not a bit rougher. But Blue was just... nice. Like, too nice. It was a bit overwhelming at times, but I appreciated his kindness. You don't find many nice people out in the world nowadays...

That is to say... in _my_ time. _I still don't want to think about it, but it would make sense..._ Why else would everything be so strange and... old-fashioned?

But still... even though Blue wanted me to leave, he's still helping me out. Granted whenever I bring up the subject of when I should head out he either doesn't answer or just gives me the same response every time...

It makes me wonder if he really _does_ want me to leave or not.

I watched him leave the room and once I was certain he was gone I started to get undressed, unclipping the necklace from my neck and pulling my shirt off. A loud "P'kyuu" startled me and I shrieked, jumping a good three feet in the air before scowling at the squirrel resting on my shoulder, unimpressed. "Really, Ao? Was that really necessary?" I then shivered, already feeling thirty degrees colder. I wrapped my arms around my stomach, dropping my bloody shirt on the floor, and gave Ao a sour look. She remained unphased, letting a simple,

"Kyuu!"

We had a short staring contest, the scowl on my face gradually fading and instead being replaced with a huge smile. "Aw, I give up! You're too cute!" I picked her up off my shoulder and kissed her forehead, squealing.

"P'kyuu!"

"Daw~!" After a couple more seconds of gushing over how cute she was I finally managed to get back into the mindset of getting clean. I set Ao on the ground, about to continue getting undressed only to pause when I saw her dive headfirst into the stream. "Ao!" I hurriedly walked over and got down on my knees, trying to see through the darkness into the stream. "Ao, where are you!?" I reached a hand, trying to feel around, the room just a bit too dark to see anything despite how used I was to the blackness. "Ao!" It was getting hard to breathe and my eyes began to sting. "H-Hey!"

The stream only went up to my knees and Ao knows how to swim, doesn't she? She took baths with me before and probably Blue hundreds of times before that. B-But why isn't she answering?

I was about to step in, still in my jeans, when she surfaced and spat out some water with a smile, letting out a loud "P'kyuu". My heart just about died from relief. "Oh god, please don't do that to me again," I sighed, feeling drained. Ao gave me a confused look before splashing her tail in the water and floating about. "Jeez..." I went back to getting undressed, ignoring how my heart was still pounding in my chest. I was usually uncomfortable getting undressed in front of both people and animals, but I was used to Ao. Back at school in gym class I used to hide in one of the stalls in the girls locker room whenever we had to change into our gym uniform or back into our school clothes. Showing too much skin always made me uncomfortable.

I reached over and grabbed the bar of soap, stepping into the ice cold stream. Goosebumps automatically ran along my skin and I was unable to suppress the shivers, teeth already beginning to chatter as I knelt down. Ao kept letting out little squeaks and splashing her tail in the water. I made sure to avoid aggravating my wounds, staring at my side in concern when I saw the edges were a bright red, but went back to scrubbing. I put the bar of soap down once I was done and washed the soap buds off of me, soon scrubbing at my head. I knelt down so my hair was in the water, scratching and scrubbing as hard as I could with what nails I had. My head pounded a little, but other than a small headache it didn't hurt too bad.

Suddenly a thought hit me-something I hadn't wondered about it a while.

 _How is everyone taking my disappearance?_ It's been a couple weeks now. They surely must have had a funeral or _something-_ regardless of whether they found my body or not. I wondered if they cried, if they were sad... or if they were happy I was gone. Would they be mourning or rejoicing?

I suddenly recalled the kid who killed himself and how everyone reacted to his death-how _I_ reacted to his death. Would... anyone react the same way... to mine?

Lungs burning I realized I had submerged my face into the water, not breathing. I yanked my head out, gasping painfully for air and coughing. I stood, stumbling and swaying as dark spots danced in my vision. My foot slipped on the ground and I shrieked, wincing when I fell back and landed roughly on the ground, scrapping my arms a little. "Ow..." Reaching over blindly I grabbed the towel, holding it to my chest as I shakily stood. I dried off and set the towel down, grabbing the folded kimono.

One thing became clear to me. _There's no juban._ That was basically the undergarment for female kimonos. I watched a lot of anime and I did plan to go to Japan one day, so I did some research. I also had do quite a bit of research for my writing as well-which could be a pain at times when I was unable to find what it was I was looking for.

I heaved a sigh, setting the kimono down, and grabbed my dirty undergarments, pulling them back on. I put the bandages on around my waist, leaving my leg free of wrapping as it was just a scar at this point. I then grabbed the light brown pants and pulled them on, noting in surprise that the bottoms were torn-almost looking deliberate. I pulled on the strings, pulling the pants up to my waist so they would at least fit me, and tied them. I then grabbed the kimono, pulling it on. It wasn't torn, but was so long it stopped at mid-calf. "Huh..." I shook my head, deciding not to question it, and tied the strings. I then grabbed the green obi belt that was discarded on the ground and wrapped it around my waist, along with the obi-jime cord. Once I was satisfied I did a quick turn, making sure everything stayed in place, and stretched with a loud yawn.

Everything went blurry as I grew light-headed, all strength leaving me as I swayed. I caught my balance and knelt down, ignoring how the sleeves covered my hands completely, and folded my dirty clothes and the towel. I grabbed the necklace laying on the ground, having almost completely forgot about it, and after a moment of thought I clamped it back around my neck, hiding it underneath the kimono.

"P'kyuu!" I turned my head, only to snort and clamp a hand over my mouth when I saw Ao shake the water out of her fur. Unfortunately for her it simply caused her fur to puff out in every direction.

"Nice," I complimented, teasing her.

"Kyuu!" She retorted.

"Rude," I grinned. I knelt down, extending a hand out to her while I used my other to hold my bangs out of my face, brushing them back. I could care less about appearances at this point and how my hair looked. It had grown so much over the time I had been here-the part that had been shaved was a good two centimeters long and my bangs all but touched my shoulders. Ao scampered forward and jumped onto my hand, allowing me to stand and carrying her. "It's so nice to be clean."

"P'kyuu!" She squeaked in agreement. I nuzzled her cheek against mine (something that was beginning to be a habit) and turned around, making my way barefoot out of the cave. The ground was cold, but it didn't bother my feet any. I was only really cold if my arms were cold-which they are right now, unfortunately. I suppressed another shiver as I exited, looking both directions as I tried to remember the way back to Blue's room.

Soft, barely audible snoring hit my ears and I turned my head, looking down in surprise to see Blue leaning against the wall with his knees pulled up to his chest, his chin resting on his arms as he breathed softly.

 _Was he waiting on me?_ I walked over and knelt down in front of him, reaching a hand out as I made to poke him on the cheek. I froze right before touching him, realizing how peaceful he seemed. _He's sleeping._ A small smile spread across my face and instead of poking him I reached a hand up and gently ruffled the fur on his head, before moving and sitting down next to him. I sat in a similar position, but had my head leaning back and resting against the wall. "Night, Blue. Sleep tight, sweet dreams." I yawned, closing my eyes. "Don't... let the cave bugs... bite." I ignored the urge to scoot closer to him, because even though I was cold and I could feel the warmth coming off of him I didn't want to make him uncomfortable.

 _I wish I didn't have to leave..._ I thought, holding back a sigh. My chest hurt as I thought about the day I'd have to leave. It would surely be soon, considering my injuries were nearly healed. My side was really the only thing I'm worried about at this point. _I just want to be friends with you._ I just want to stay living here with you. _I don't want you to be by yourself either..._ I'm too scared to ask how long he's been here by himself. I'm terrified to learn the answer.

"P'kyuu?"

"I'm fine, Ao..." I mumbled, ignoring how she pressed her cold nose against my cheek. I shivered once more, rubbing at my eyes, and slowly drifted off to sleep. For once I had no nightmares, but at the same time... I dreamed of nothing.

I awoke sometime later by a hand on my shoulder shaking me lightly. I yawned and groggily opened my eyes, staring at the male next to me as I let out a small,

"Huh...? Oh, hey, Blue..." I then remembered, snapping wide awake. "Hey, you're up!" He stared at me, making me wonder what sort of expression he was wearing beneath that mask, and stood. I looked up at him, wondering what he was doing when he extended a hand to me. I stared at it blankly, trying to figure out if he wanted a high-five or something, when I realized he wanted me to take it and that we were leaving. "O-Oh!" I awkwardly reached up and grabbed his hand, letting him help me up onto my feet, and he wasted no time in leading me back to the room.

 _That's why he was waiting on me,_ I realized, _he knew I'd get lost on my way back._ Come to think of it, he'd been the one to guide me to the stream many times before as well. My eyes softened as I looked up at him, feeling just as guilty as I did grateful. I lowered my head, struggling to keep up with him. _I really can't do anything, can I?_

"I'm sorry..." It just came out. Blue stopped walking abruptly, causing me to slam into his back. I flinched and cried out, stumbling back as I wrapped an arm around my stomach. Blue had yet to let go of my hand. "S-Sorry!" I had slammed into him. I lifted my head, stiffening when I saw him stare down at me. Ao was resting on his head. I quickly discerned he wanted me to elaborate on what I was apologizing for and I felt my blood run cold, not at all liking this situation. "I-I just..." Blue tilted his head at me. "You... You're just... so _nice_ a-and you're doing all these... things to help me and I-" I lowered my head, squeezing my eyes shut. Again I was thankful for the mask, as it let me look away. "I can't do anything to pay you back..." I'm useless. I can't protect myself, I can't do laundry, and I'm unable to find my way back to the room because of how easily I'm able to get lost. All I do is chatter away to Blue and try to make conversation, and even then I'm sure I freak him out when I have a nightmare or panic when he's gone for too long. I'm just... I'm just a burden, aren't I?

"...Your company."

My eyes snapped open and my head shot up. "Wh-What?"

Blue was staring at me, seeming thoughtful. "I like... your company." Ao squeaked loudly in agreement. I was stunned, and just a little disbelieving. I had no idea how to respond.

"You... like my company?" He nodded. "O-Oh, um... thank you?" He opened his mouth to say something but cut himself off. Without another word he tugged at my hand and we were walking again, surrounded completely by silence until we arrived back in the room. He released me and walked over to his usual spot, directly across from the doorway, and sat down. Ao squeaked and rolled off of his head, falling into his lap. Blue's mouth opened in surprise and he calmly scooped Ao up in his hands, making sure she was okay. Once he was satisfied he set her down on his knee, letting the squirrel nibble playfully on his fingers. He didn't seem to mind.

I stood there awkwardly before making my way over and sitting down next to him, crossing my legs with my hands grasping my ankles. I watched Ao play with his fingers for a few moments when I felt a pair of eyes on me. Lifting my head I saw Blue staring at me. I went still, feeling my face heat up.

"W-What?" I was still shivering. I had clenched my jaw, trying to stop my teeth from chattering.

Without another word and no sound other than the jangling of the bells he lifted a hand behind his head and detached the fur from his mask, holding the furry mass out to me. I was startled, as I had expected him to mention something about me leaving, but I took the warm fur gratefully and wrapped it around me like a blanket. "Th-Thank you..." I shivered again, getting that awkward chill when the cold suddenly mixed with heat.

"P'kyuu!" I turned my head, Blue and I staring at Ao who was now dangling from Blue's wrist. He lifted his hand in the air, placing his other hand a few inches below her in case she fell. "Kyuu!" Ao kicked her little legs, only to squeak loudly when she fell, landing in Blue's other hand as he caught her. A giggle-snort escaped me and I clamped a hand over my mouth, finding the sight of the two of them way too adorable. "P'kyuu?" Ao asked, staring up at me.

"P'kyuu!" I mimicked awfully, making my voice go up in pitch. Ao's ears perked up and Blue watched the scene silently.

"Kyuu!"

"Kyuu!"

Ao squeaked and I copied her, doing my best to imitate the sounds she was making with a smile. She jumped off of Blue's lap (he having set her down in the midst of the conversation) and jumped into mind, landing on the fur I was now using as a blanket. We kept going with our little "kyuu" contest, Ao winning, and I laughed. I pet her, picking her up and nuzzling her cheek with mine before planting a tiny kiss on her forehead. "Okay, okay, you win. Jeez." Cutie.

"P'kyuu!"

I suddenly remembered that Blue was watching us. I turned my head away, focusing solely on Ao as I felt my face flush, before I gained an idea. Biting back an embarrassed smile I held Ao up to his face, gently poking his cheek with her nose. "Mwah." Ao, going along with it, planted a kiss of her own volition on his face. I couldn't stop the stupid grin from forming. "Aw~ Ao loves you, Blue." He said nothing, but didn't pull away as Ao planted a few more kisses on his face, going "Chuu" instead of "kyuu". I eventually set her down on the ground, of which she then went and crawled back up on Blue's lap and rubbing her face against his hand. I blinked, furrowing my eyebrows as I stared up at Blue. He still hadn't said anything.

I was used to silences, as he wasn't really one who spoke much, but normally he would have said _something_ in a situation like that.

"...Blue?" Is he okay?

He looked at me, before lowing his head and focusing on Ao. "How... are you feeling?" For a second I thought he was talking to Ao, but I caught the underlying meaning of his question. My chest tightened and my heart began to hurt as I thought about how to answer. I looked down at my lap, bringing the fur up to my shoulders as I pulled my knees up to my chest.

"I'm... fine, mostly. Bit of a headache, but that's it." I left out the bit about my side still being pretty bad. Ao, almost as if sensing the tension, stopped cuddling with Blue's hand and looked back-and-forth between us, seeming a little anxious and worried. _Blue wants me to leave now... but he said he liked my company! So... but..._ Oh, I don't know. "Why? Want me to leave now?"

He didn't speak for the longest time-so long it was almost suffocating. My heart pounded as I waited for an answer and for a while I thought I wasn't going to get one. His reply startled me, as it was the opposite of what I was expecting. "You can... leave when your headache is gone."

I just stared up at him, trying to figure out his motive. It wasn't like a headache was going to affect me that much-did he or did he _not_ want me to leave? Because I'd _really_ love to know.

Blue suddenly shivered, catching my attention as he curled up into a ball with his knees pulled to his chest. My eyes widened, realizing he was cold, and after some thought I hesitantly scooted closer to him so our shoulders were touching. He looked down at me, mouth open in surprise. I pulled the fur that was covering me and reached over him best as I could in the position I was sitting in, trying to cover us both. Once I was done situating the fluff I pat his knee, awkwardly saying,

"There. Now we're both warm." I then looked away and used his arm as a pillow, knowing that if he was uncomfortable he could tell me to move or just push me away. I didn't really understand how he could feel so cold when he's so warm, but I don't really like the cold either so I completely understand his predicament.

Blue remained silent, as if trying to make sense of the situation. "...Thank you." I tried to hide my surprise.

"It's your fur," I told him as bluntly as I could, closing my eyes. I was certain my face was red. "Not like I have a right to hog it."

"..."

"...Can you please say something? It just grew really awkward."

"Ah...sorry..."

"Not what I meant, but that works, I guess."

"..."

"P'kyuu!"

"Thank you, Ao."

 **One, two more chapters before Yona and gang pops up! Woo! About a little over a month has passed, Irene is still grieving and trying to make sense of her situation, but is overall just trying not to focus on the events of the crash and the life she had unwillingly left behind. Trying to force those events out of her head, basically, and just focus on the present and her current predicament. So that'll be fun.**

 **Sometimes I find myself typing Shin-Ah instead of Blue. XD Oops. Welp, in case you all haven't noticed that part about her yet Irene is a slight hypocrite. This will be shown in the next few chapters. Welp, Read and Review. Peace out!**

 **I plan on torturing Irene thoroughly during the Awa arc for character development. (Evil, happy laughter) Fuhuhuhu... I'm actually a little scared to type nowadays. XD I feel like I'm just going to be letting you guys down. But you know what-I'm typing and posting them anyway! Am I writing Shin-Ah and Ao okay? I think I am, but... other peoples opinions are awesome.**


	5. The Villagers

At least three days have passed since the events that happened before. I'd mark this as three-quarters of a month since my arrival. My nightmares were lessening, but at the same time so was the distance between me and Blue. Neither of us really brought up the subject of me leaving and I was really starting to think that Blue really enjoyed having someone else there with him. There wasn't really much to do, and he wasn't really a talker, so I often tried to clear the silence with an embarrassing story of how I'd end up tripping over thin air and causing a commotion, or how Chris and I would use to wrestle all the time, or just something about my family.

Talking about them and going on-and-on was now my coping mechanism. It let me focus on the good times and sometimes I actually forgot the present, until I ended up stumbling over my words and sounding like a broken recorder as I tried to remember where I had left off and explaining what had exactly happened. Blue was an attentive listener, unsurprisingly, and claimed that he "liked listening to my stories" when I apologized for talking so much. I was awkward for a total of five seconds after that before I continued with an embarrassed red face and joyful smile.

...I _really_ liked to talk, okay?

It was how the days passed by in the silence. Sometimes the stories got really weird-or even exaggerated-but they were funny. There wasn't a whole lot of food, like always, but sometimes Blue or Ao would walk in with a whole bunch of edible flower seeds. Where they got them I had no idea-I never asked, but I assumed they were from plants that grew underground and in dark places. How else would he have survived this long? You can't just live off of the food you gain from a corpse's pouch.

 _Wow, that was a morbid,_ I thought with a cringe. I shook my head before grinning as I quickly began telling another story, this one about how I nearly fell into a frozen lake during the middle of winter a few years back. I had just finished my story when Blue suddenly stood, turning his head. I blinked. "Blue?" He remained silent, listening, and I wondered what he was thinking. The male shook his head and sat back down, merely just increasing my curiosity. "Did something happen?" I recalled how he was able to see far distances. "D-Did someone come in?"

The bells jangled as he shook his head. My shoulders relaxed and I let out a small breath.

"Okay... got a bit worried there." I chuckled. Ao jumped off of Blue's head, landing on my shoulder. I looked at her in surprise before smiling with closed eyes when she nuzzled my cheek. "Aw, I love you, too, Ao."

"P'kyuu!" She responded. I giggled, reaching a hand up and petting her. My amusement didn't last long as I lifted my head, casting a worried glance at Blue when I saw how he was still staring at the entrance. I bit the inside of my cheek, wondering if I should ask again, only to hold my tongue. It wasn't my place to butt into his business-even _if_ I was curious. I had no right. "Kyuu?" Ao tilted her head, seeing how I was distracted, and moved her gaze to Blue when she saw that he wasn't paying attention to her either. She seemed to frown, something that was unlike her, and as if noticing he was being stared at Blue turned his head.

My eyes widened, realizing I was caught, and I quickly looked away. _Smooth, Irene. Now he's suspicious._ But he was acting really weird. I can't really describe it, but... something's just off.

"P'kyuu!" Ao jumped out of my hands, causing me to look at her in alarm and watch her jump onto Blue's lap. She squeaked at him, clearly trying to grab his attention. It worked and he looked down, staring at her. "Kyuu! Kyuu!" She climbed onto his hand and he lifted it, watching her scurry up his arm.

"Ao..." He spoke, "What's wrong?" The squirrel responded by pressing her nose against his cheek, as if trying to comfort him or get him to open up to her. It was cute and I watched curiously, frowning as I was also worried about him. I moved over so I was sitting on my knees and in front of him, leaning forward my palms pressed against the ground. His mouth went slightly agape in surprise when he realized both Ao and I were giving him concerned looks. Blue lowered his head, looking away. "..."

"Seriously, what's wrong?" I finally asked. I had a feeling he wouldn't answer, which was part of my reluctance to ask in the first place, but... "You saw something, didn't you?" I remember him saying he could see far distances, and I think he once mentioned that he could see perfectly fine in the dark. "What was it?"

"..."

Ao squeaked, nuzzling his cheek, and he slowly raised a hand to pick the squirrel up. He set her back in his lap, messing with her paws and rubbing his thumb across them. "P'kyuu...?"

"Blue," I began, narrowing my eyes, "if you don't tell us what's up I'll beat you." Not the best insult, and definitely not a promise I could live up to, but it was something. "That or I'll hug you-both will surely terrify you. Now what's wrong?" How do you comfort someone anyway? I don't even know what he's upset about! He was just fine until he turned his head and stood up.

"...A couple of the villagers entered the cave..." I blinked.

I then made a confused face, knitting my eyebrows together. "But you said that no one came in." He shook his head.

"No enemies came in."

"Oh... Oh!" I felt like an idiot, then a bit annoyed. The villagers were the jerks who isolated Blue! Why are they coming in here? _Wait, maybe they're going to be nice to him!_ Perhaps they finally learned their wrongdoing and are actually going to care for him now, instead of letting him starve in this darkness. He _was_ protecting them after all and no one can be truly evil. Everyone has to have _some_ form of good in them, right? Except Blue-he's just completely good. He doesn't have a mean bone in his body. He only fights because he has to. "Do you know what they want?"

He went completely silent, lowering his head, and I wondered if beneath the mask he closed his eyes from reluctance to speak.

 _I wish I knew what he looked like..._ But I'm not going to ask. If he wanted me to know what he looks like, he'd take the mask off and show me. Like I said before-it's none of my business. His life, isn't it? Even though I'm sort of intruding upon it already... I stared at him blankly, waiting for a response patiently. My heart hurt a little seeing him so... _sad_ , but I didn't pressure him. I just sat there in the silence, the only sound in the room that of our breathing and Ao's occasional squeaks as she rubbed her cheek against his hand, trying to comfort him.

Blue took a deep breath, inhaling through his nose, before lifting his head and staring at me. I blinked, wondering if he was trying to say something. When he saw I wasn't getting the silent message, he said, "Outsiders... aren't supposed to know... about me."

No... hold on. Did they want _me?_ Because I know about him? No... that's ridiculous. If that were the case they would have done something before now! Unless that guy from before-when I first woke up-only told them now. _He must have thought Blue killed me or something..._ My stomach twisted at the thought and I could only think of my nightmares. My breathing became slightly labored for a moment, but I quickly regained control of it. "S-So?" I asked, trying to keep my voice normal. I gave a small smile, both trying to hide my fear and to encourage him to continue. "I know this already."

"..." He went quiet again.

"Blue..." Say something, _please_. Tell me I'm wrong. _I'm scared._ "What do they want?" _I don't want to be attacked again..._ I've only just recovered from my injuries. The only wound that remained was from the crash, when I had been stabbed in the side. _I'm so scared..._

Footsteps suddenly could be heard and they were getting closer and closer. Blue's head shot up and he turned his gaze towards the entrance to the room, seeing how light was illuminating the outside. Without wasting a moment Blue quickly pushed me onto my back, causing me to cry out in alarm. I shut my mouth quickly, the fur from his mask being thrown over my form and hiding me from view. I heard the bells jingle and the sound of them grow quieter, and judging by the distance he was standing at the entrance. I heard voices-none of them Blue.

"Where is she!? W-We know she's here!"

"J-Just give us the girl. We... We really don't want any trouble!"

Blue gave them no response. I squeezed my eyes shut, holding my breath temporarily. I felt something move on top of me on the fur and guessed it was Ao. Opening my eyes I saw my hand was shaking and I quickly balled it into a fist. _I'm okay. I'm okay. Blue is strong. He's safe. Th-They're mean, but it's not like they'll hurt him... right?_ Blue was nice, even to the villagers that despised him. He went out of his way to protect them after all. He seems to go out of his way for everybody... for them, for Ao, for me... _The only ones he ever harmed were the bad guys._ Bandits, he called them. _Enemies._ How he ended up so nice... after being treated so coldly...

Of being the victim of others fear for so long...

I could hear the absolute terror in the villagers voices as they spoke to him, trembling and ready to burst into tears. _Blue..._ My eyes stung and I cursed silently in my head when my nose started to run. _Crap._

"B-Blue Dragon..." Risking a peek I lifted the fur, seeing Blue just standing there at the entrance and looking down at them. Two men dressed in kimonos. Both had topknots on the top of their heads, and one was wielding a torch. The other was, funnily enough, carrying a pitchfork.

 _Burn the witch,_ I thought, knowing full well that the "witch" was me.

"We... We know she's here! S-So stop stalling a-and give her to us! She's an outsider!"

"..."

"O-Outsiders aren't allowed passed-" He cut himself off, looking downright terrified. My eyes widened, watching him take a step back. "J-Just hand her over already!" Why are they so _scared_? Blue is nice! I watched the man next to him whisper something and I quickly ducked my head underneath the fur when I saw him point my way.

 _Crap... they saw! They saw me!_ Oh god, what's going to happen? I squeezed my eyes shut, holding my breath.

"C-Can we look inside the room? W-We won't go too far, we just w-want to make sure she isn't h-hiding in here or anything."

"W-We won't take too long. O-Once we're done we won't bother you again, p-promise."

I heard silence, a pause that lasted for about half a minute, before there was the jangling of bells. My lungs were burning at this point and I wanted nothing more than to take a huge gasp of air. My heart pounded loudly, ready to burst out of my chest and stop beating all together when footsteps neared. They echoed all around the room, nearing me before moving away. _What are they doing? It's obvious I'm hiding underneath the giant patch of fur! Are they blind or-_ I froze.

"L-Looks like there really isn't a female in here..."

"Nope. Just a squirrel and a giant batch of fur-!" I screamed and quickly rolled out of the way, just barely avoiding get stabbed with a pitchfork.I gasped and coughed, struggling to get out of the fur. I managed to kick it off and caused it hit the man in the face, and taking the opportunity I pushed myself up, running. "Gah-! get her!" The man with the torch reached out to grab me, but my right ankle decided now would be a good time to get hurt and give out, causing me to slip and fall. I shrieked, the man's hand just barely brushing against the collar of my kimono. He made to grab my hair as I fell, but I quickly redirected my fall and flung myself to the side, having _way_ too much experience with falling, and narrowly avoided his grasp. Unfortunately my landing was quite painful as it was on my side and I made to get up, coughing as the air was knocked out of me. Ao was nowhere to be seen. "Hold her down!" My eyes snapped open. I began to stand, but a foot on my back knocked me back down painfully. I cried out, the man's heel digging into my lower back.

"Ow, ow, ow-let go of me!" I struggled, trying to hit his foot with my hand, but he was too far away and my arms too short. I turned my head, only to scream and flinch when I saw a pitchfork fly towards my face.

I waited for the inevitable, to feel excruciating pain in my skull, but none came. Instead the foot that was on my back got removed and I heard terrified yells. I hesitantly opened my eyes, scared of what I might see, but when I pushed myself up onto my knees and looked I saw Blue holding the pitch fork in his right hand, the 5'11 male towering over the two villagers. "Leave." He ordered. "She is... not an enemy." Not wasting another moment I scrambled onto my feet, wobbling, and dashed over to Blue to hide behind him. Ao sat on my shoulder, having climbed up on my way over to Blue. I rationalized she jumped back on my arm after I had sat up.

"Sh-She's... She's an outsider!" I hesitantly poked my head out from behind him, staring at the two men. They were crying even worse than I was at that moment. I felt bad for them, but I felt even worse for Blue because he was the reason for their fear. I just wish I knew _why_ they were so scared of him. There's nothing frightening about being able to see far away, right? "Th-The guard told us she was still around a few days ago a-and... since you didn't take care of her, w-we have to!"

My grip on Blue's coat tightened and I resisted the urge to hug him. "You... You don't have to freaking kill people!" I exclaimed, protesting against their ways as I forced myself to speak up.

"Wh-What would you know!?" He snapped, "You're an outsider!"

I felt anger, an emotion rare for me, well up inside my chest. "I'm his _friend_ you jerks! He can see far away-so what!? How the heck is that so scary!? Blue's nice!"

"You know _nothing!_ He's a monster!" I was speechless. How... How could they _think_ that? A monster... _They're the reason why Blue hates himself._ I mean, he's never said it out loud but it's pretty obvious, what with him always saying how he's "cursed" and even calling himself a "monster" at times. "He killed an entire _army_ when he was only _four years old!_ " I felt Blue stiffen, even shaking a little. His hold on the pitch fork tightened. "Those born with the power of the Blue Dragon are monsters! Monsters that are always born in _our_ village! It's because of him that-"

No. Shut up. Shut up. There's a reason. There's always a reason. "Monsters are people who kill without reason! They're the ones who kill because they enjoy it! _Monsters_ are cold-blooded murderers! Blue only kills because he's-he's..." My voice cracked, "He only kills because he's freaking _protecting_ you! So shut up!"

"O-Of course _you_ would say that!" He snapped back, standing with the help of his torch friend. He looked downright terrified, and he definitely seemed to believe what he was saying. "That marking on your face... you're a monster, too, aren't you!?"

Marking? _I think the one guy said that, too..._

"Only another _monster_ would dare get near that _thing!_ " I narrowed my eyes, furious.

"Blue isn't a _thing!_ He's a person! He has feelings and emotions and thoughts and a soul-"

"If he did then-"

"If he didn't then he'd a be a heartless killer by now!" I cut in, now holding tightly onto Blue's arm. The male just stood there, as if in shock. He hadn't moved in the past three minutes, ever since this argument started. I never realized just how _cruel_ these people were to him. Why-Why did he go out of his way to protect people who so clearly hate him? "If he... If he really killed that army then it was probably to protect you-though why he wants to protect people who clearly despise him I have no idea, but you all better be happy that it's _him_ and not some other jerk otherwise you'd of made a perfect psychopath!"

The villagers were silent, stunned.

"Isolation and hatred is-it's... it's a sure-fire way to make a psychopath! You-You should just be glad that Blue's that one percent who came out a really kind person!" How _easy_ it would be to hate, to despise, to go after those who hurt him emotionally for so long... "He's done nothing wrong!" Why am I getting so worked up? Then again, I guess after spending all day every day for a month with someone can make you really attached and protective-especially if you get attached easily to people in the first place. Not to mention that Blue's my friend... I won't _tolerate_ these _jerks_ being mean to him! I'm _sick_ of bullies! Heck, these can't even be considered bullies-they're worse!

Unfortunately, I can't think of a name that suits them. They're just downright jerks.

I was breathing heavily by the time I got done with the speech, having used too much emotional and mental energy during that. Sarcasm was my way to go about with bullies, to deal with them and get them to leave me alone. But at the same time that just caused them to attack me from the sidelines. No one ever stood up for me, no one ever stood beside me. I even remember a time when Eliza had been watching a girl attack me with cruel words, and another time on a field trip a different girl was getting on me and saying that my friends were just being "nice" and weren't really my friends. I was hurt, and I stood up to her, too, but the worst part was that my friends were sitting at the table next to me (there was no more room and I had to sit by myself) and seemed to not even notice the whole thing take place.

Heck, even after I stood up to the jerks I was left so emotionally damaged I just didn't talk to anyone after, and when I got home I just cried in my room. I despised people and the world, despite how I know that there's always a reason. Despite how I know that people have _some_ good in them, no matter how small or how deep it's buried. At least, that's what I like to believe...

But this? This was just unacceptable.

I moved in front of Blue, giving the two men the darkest glare I could muster. I was _furious_ -something of which was shown when my face went completely blank and I went silent. But they had just kept going and going-urging me to explode. "Blue. Is. My. _Friend._ If you want to kill me that's fine, but I _refuse_ to leave him here alone." How old did they say he was when he killed a whole army? Four? My stomach twisted and churned uncomfortably. "Now _go_ , before I steal your pitchfork and whack you upside the head with it." I wouldn't really, but it didn't mean it wasn't an entertaining thought.

"D-Demon!" The man on the left, the one holding the torch, cried out before dashing out of the room, passed Blue and I. "You're both demons!"

My eyebrows raised and I turned my head, watching him run out. "Okay, now _that_ was just rude." Jerk. Talk about ill-mannered. I turned my attention back to the other guy, who eyes were cold but scared. I blinked at him. "Aren't you going to leave?"

"We're not done..." He threatened, pointing a finger at me as he slowly backed away, heading out of the room. "We'll-We'll be back for you! I don't care what kind of monster you are-you can't be worse than him! We won't let you leek out his existence!" It was safe to say I was left standing in confusion when he ran out. Shaking my head in complete bewilderment I said,

"Welp, that just happened. You okay, Blue?" I turned around and lifted my head to look at him, only to freeze. My eyes went wide. I outstretched a hand towards him, only to hesitate. His teeth were ground together, revealing a pair of relatively sharp canines, and from what I could see in this darkened room tears were streaming down his face.

 _I don't know how to comfort people. I barely even know the right things to say._ Do I hug him? Do I tell him everything's alright? Why is he crying? Did those guys' words get to him?

"H-Hey, it's-it's okay." I awkwardly reached a hand out and placed it on his arm. The pitchfork he was holding suddenly dropped to ground and I yelped when hegrabbed me, pulling me forward and pressing me against his chest, my face buried in his shoulder as he hugged me tightly. "I-It's okay." I awkwardly wrapped my arms around him, one of my arms trapped beneath his and my other awkwardly above his other. He had one arm around my waist and the other around my shoulders, leaving me to awkwardly pat his shoulder-blade and lower back.

This was the most emotion I had _ever_ seen him show, and it just happened to be the emotion I'm most uncomfortable with. I _really_ lacked people skills, if you couldn't tell.

Realizing just how badly he was trembling my gaze softened and I hugged him as tightly as I could, saying much more softly, yet still in a firm voice, "It's okay." I was wondering how awkward or uncomfortable it was for him to bend down like he was, when the mask he was wearing was pushed up, the male having tried to bury his face in my shoulder. He froze, hearing it clatter to the floor, and made to pull away. But without a second thought or even a realization of my actions I reached out and grabbed him by the face, cupping his cheeks with my hands. It was none of my business, but I found it hard to stop myself. I wanted to know. I wanted to know who my friend is-what he looks like.

He was _not_ who I was expecting. The man in the mask looked far different than anything I imagined. "It's okay!" I exclaimed quickly, seeing how he squeezed his eyes shut, desperate not to look at me. Was he ashamed to be crying or- Oh. "I'm not scared! Jeez, crying with a mask on is the _least_ comfortable thing and you're still wanting to put it on. Just calm down, dude." I tried to remain casual and stood on my toes, pulling my kimono sleeve over the palm of my hand and holding it there with my fingers. Reaching up I wiped the tears staining his cheeks as best as I could. "Relax. I'm not gonna hurt ya-couldn't even if I wanted to." He's _way_ prettier than I thought-heck, I didn't even think he'd look pretty!

I wasn't even sure _what_ to think he'd look like, really. All I knew about his appearance was that his hair was blue and that his skin was even paler than mine. That was it. Anything I thought of looked ridiculous and I gave up guessing after the first couple of weeks. But _this_...

Dude. Blue was _beautiful_. His eyes were closed, so I didn't know what they looked like, but he had long eyelashes and sharp, delicate features. I'd accuse him of having a strong jawline, but in this darkness who could tell for sure? "Are you really that scared of me looking at you?" I asked, feeling slightly hurt. _The villagers really did get to him after all..._ I wondered if I should pull away, but seeing him clench his jaw as more tears began to fall made me to do other wise.

He had strange tattoos underneath his eyes as well, colored a light red. It oddly complimented his blue hair. His nose was slightly upturned and sloped. As I continued to brush the tears off of his face, I just found myself staring at him. It was my first time ever seeing his face... I know it's rude to just _stare_ , but... how could I not? Even with the red face and tears he was beautiful, which was really strange as people are usually pretty darn ugly when they cry. My kimono sleeve was soon soaked and after a moment I heaved a long sigh, exhausted.

"Jeez..." Mm, should I say it? I doubt it would get him to open his eyes and actually _look_ at me, but... "You're breaking my heart here, Blue."

His mouth opened, as if to say something, but he closed it and turned his head away.

"I thought we were friends! You see my eyes all the time, why can't I see yours?" I placed my hands on my hips and leaned over, looking at his face. Now that the mask was gone I couldn't _not_ look at him. When I speak, I always look people in the eyes. "I get it that you're "cursed" but that's something the villagers say! There's no way a four year old could kill a freaking _army_ -you'd have to have some sort of superpower and last I checked you weren't Deadpool. You're more Batman than anything." I was referencing Deadpool's regenerative ability.

I blinked when Blue brought a hand up to his face, his lips curling back as he choked back a sob. _Oh god, did he really-?_ I'm making things worse! No! I'm supposed to be _comforting_ him not hurting him!

"H-Hey-" I knelt down on the ground beside him when he fell to his knees. I reached a hand out, but he recoiled, shaking his head wildly. I pulled my hand back, alarmed and hurt, but probably not nearly as pained as he is right now. "Blue?"

"You'll... You'll hate me." He bit out, eyes squeezed shut tightly as the tears continued to fall. He was trembling and it was then that I realized he was probably reliving horrible memories. I could feel my own eyes start to burn, my lips curling back as my teeth ground together. My chest throbbed painfully as I wondered what he'd been through and how he must have felt, how much he _must_ feel at this moment. "I... I never..." I waited for him to finish, my hand still dangling in the air, but he never he said, "If you know what... I can do... you'll leave. You won't... be... my friend anymore." Blue looked like he was ready to curl up into a ball and hide from the world. "I'm a monster..."

I bit my lip, fighting against my own tears, and I quickly reached out, wrapping my arms around his neck and pulling him close. "Stop _calling_ yourself that! You aren't a monster! A-And besides, I already said I'm not leaving you alone!" All this freaking drama... damn it, Blue. I couldn't leave you even if I wanted to. "We're friends and... that won't change." I'm sorry for making things worse. I'm sorry I can't say anything that will make you feel better. I-I'm sorry... that I couldn't get those guys to stop saying their hurtful words. I'm so sorry.

Blue's arms hung at his side for a long moment, making me wonder if I should pull away, but after a few more seconds he lifted them and wrapped them around me, returning the embrace and accepting the hug. His chin rested on my shoulder for a few moments before he slowly raised his head, causing me to pull away a little as he looked at me.

 _Ba-Dump. Ba-Dump._

They were the most beautiful and most sorrowful pair of eyes I had ever seen, yet at the same time they were sparkling almost like a child who was gazing at the outside world for the first time. But now, at least, I finally understood why people seemed to be scared of him. His amber orbs were mixed with tints of blue, seeming to nearly glow in the dark, and instead of it being round his pupil was slit and reminded me greatly of a cat's. They weren't human eyes...

It took me a few minutes to realize that I needed to breathe, and also to notice just how close his face was to mine. I wondered how long I had been staring in his eyes. I looked people in the eyes all the time, but I had never really gotten _lost_ in someone's eyes before. I felt my face heat up and resisted the urge to lean away. _I'm breaking my personal bubble rule. Great job, me._

"You... really aren't scared?" Blue asked, and I couldn't help but think just how _well_ his face fit with his voice and how perfectly his eyes suited him. Just how it was _him_.

"...Should I be?" My voice squeaked a little and I flinched. "Sorry! Voice went really high." I opened my eyes in time to see surprise flash in his own. _So this is the kind of face he makes..._ I couldn't stop the happy, toothy grin from forming. I clapped my hands together, pulling my arms away from his shoulders. "I finally know what you look like! I can actually read your expression and look you in the eyes now." I laughed cheerfully, way too happy for this. "You're prettier than I thought." I pat his cheek affectionately, gauging a reaction and watching his eyes widen. _He makes nice expressions._ "So," I began as he pulled away, the male actually sitting on the floor now instead of his knees. His hands rested between his legs, Blue appearing deep in thought. "What's the story? Why should I be so terrified of the nicest person on earth?" I should probably stop calling him that or saying it out loud, because of the whole expectation thing that might form, but he seriously was! I then looked around, realizing something, and reached over painfully to grab his mask off the ground. My side was screeching like a banshee, but I ignored it in favor of Blue. I held the mask out to him, his eyes snapping up to look at the mask in surprise. "Here ya go!" He took it, staring at it. He then looked at me, my eyes meeting his instantly, and I shrugged. "Figured you'd be more comfortable with it." As much as I'd like him to _not_ wear it, but... well, we all can't have what we want, can we?

"...Thank you... Irene..." I went still as he put the mask on his face.

He only used my name once before and that was sometime when we first met. After that he just never said it again. "N-No problem..."

 _Ba-Dump. Ba-Dump._

Oh, jeez... what am I getting all freaked out over? It's just my name. Heck, it's just a pair of eyes. _Eyes that actually clue me in onto what he's thinking._ I shook my head, clearing my thoughts, and sat down crossed legged on the ground. My legs cried out in relief, happy to be in a much comfier position. I stared at Blue expectantly, unable to get that sad look out of my mind as I waited for an explanation. He stiffened, realizing I was still staring at him, and reluctantly looked at me. I stared in the sockets of his mask, imagining his eyes in their place, and waited for him to speak. He lowered his head, reluctant to speak. It seemed as if it was taking all he had to even get the words out.

"My curse..." He began, "lets me paralyze my opponents... and in some cases, even their hearts." My eyes widened, now understanding why he always wears the mask. "But... it's a double-edged sword." I watched him raise his hands up, the male hugging himself. His fingers pulled at his shirt sleeves, probably even digging into his skin. "After I use it, I..." He brought his knees up to his chest, "I end up... paralyzed myself." He was shaking again. "It... It's a power that... must _never_ be used. Not again..."

 _He... gets paralyzed himself?_ How old was he when that man said he took down that army? _Four years old_. Oh my god... Blue... how _traumatized_ is he? Looking at him now I had my answer, though it felt as if my heart was shattering on the inside. _Just how much did you GO through?_ Tears stung at my eyes and I tackled him, pressing my face against his arm as I hugged him as best as I could with the position he was sitting in. "You..." My hold tightened on him. "Blue..." It wasn't pity. No, I was far from pitying him. I don't even think he'd _want_ me to pity him. It was more of an "oh-my-god-you-had-gone-through-all-that-and-you-came-out-such-a-good-person-you-didn't-deserve-that-yet-you-survived-it-all-and-are-still-living-and-protecting-the-people-who-caused-you-to-become-this-way-and-even-though-it-really-hurts-you're-still-being-strong" kind of thing. Really long, I know, but... hey. Wait, would that be considered pity? How would one define pity? I have no idea.

I felt my shoulders shake, both from crying and from laughter. I sat up a bit and lifted my head, looking at him with a shaky smile.

"I-I'm never going to stop hugging you now, d-do you realize?" God, this guy needed all the hugs he could get.

He stared at me, mouth agape, before he closed it. He removed his legs from his chest, letting the rest on the floor, and leaned forward. I went completely still when his forehead pressed against my shoulder, the male being careful not to hit me in the head with one of the horns, and I slowly relaxed. Not knowing what else to do I raised a hand and started to pet him on the head, something I do all the time to people.

To Eliza-because her hair's soft-or to my little cousins Gerard and Malinda in a show of affection. I pet Lilith, too, and sometimes Andrew-but he freaks out when I do that. Blue didn't seem to mind though-if anything I think he liked it. His hair was surprisingly soft. "I-I think you're supposed to be at least a _little_ scared of my hugs." I told him. Once I'm allowed to start hugging I never stop. That and I think I'm pretty repulsive in general, so anyone should be scared of my hugs. Little cousins love my hugs though. My cousin's kid (from my dad's side) had a staring contest with me for about thirty seconds, the kid having just walked up to me when I was sitting on the couch, and then promptly decided I'd be his new best friend. It was weird. Adorable, but weird. I'm not good with kids under five years old. He was about two, I think. I waited for a response from Blue, mainly for him to pull away, but his hold on me simply tightened.

"...No..."

I blinked at his... word... and felt my face heat up. I was really glad he wasn't looking at me at this moment, as I knew my face was red from embarrassment. I bit down a smile, a little-just a _little_ happy at that. "O-Okay. That's... That's cool, too." My hand was starting to get really tired, but I kept petting him. I wondered how long we were going to stay in this position. On the bright side it was more comfortable than before. _I... never expected him to look so sad though._ A lot of things had thrown me off today. From the villagers, to what he was hiding from me, to just seeing his face and learning what he looked like. "...You tired?" I asked, feeling a yawn form. My side was on fire at this point.

Blue slowly pulled away, looking down at me.

"I'm tired." I told him, actually yawning. Blue nodded slowly, answering my question. "Awesome. C'mon, you can use me as a pillow." I used him as one a few days ago.

I moved over so I was sitting against the and patted my thigh, saying,

"You can use my lap. Comfier than my shoulder, at least." He's taller than me, after all.

Blue stared at me and I wondered if I should have kept my mouth shut and _not_ tried to be nice, but he slowly made his way over. He laid down, situating himself, and lifted his mask up to the side of his face so he didn't hurt himself or me. I tried not to feel too awkward or weird about it, as he was my friend, but seeing his face just blatantly reminded me that hey-I'm living with a _guy_. Granted he'd be the last person to try anything-heck, I don't even think he knows what _girl_ means, but... still. _I wish I had something other than "Blue" to call him._ It was too painfully similar to "Blue Dragon", something of which he and the villagers both seem to loath.

I noticed how close we were to the abandoned fur and reached over, doing my best not to disturb Blue, and pulled the fur over his form. If I looked I would have seen him turn his head slightly to look at me, but I was too busy making sure the fur was perfectly over his form. I shivered a little, cold myself, but I ignored it. I placed my left hand on Blue's shoulder, not having anywhere _to_ put it, and said, "Night, Blue. Sleep tight, sweet dreams." He was silent for a moment, something I wasn't surprised at, but when he responded for once I was startled.

"Good...night... Irene." I blinked multiple times as I looked down at him, before a small smile spread across my face. I leaned my head back, resting it against the cave wall, and just closed my eyes. "Thank you..."

"For what?" I was confused, but didn't open my eyes.

"...Everything..."

My eyes slid open, but when I looked down Blue was already asleep. I snorted, brushing what seemed to be a stray tear off of his face, and said, "That's my line, goofball." A squeak made me turn my head, eyes widening when I saw a familiar squirrel run into the room towards me and Blue, Ao's cheeks stuffed with what was probably food. "Well, now I know where _you_ went, you little traitor."

Ao squeaked indignantly as she jumped up onto Blue's side, resting on his arm.

I smiled, before shaking my head and closing my eyes once more. "Yeah, yeah... I love you, too, Ao. Same goes to you, Blue." In a friendly way. Agh, I'm so tired... I feel pretty weak, too. _If my wound reopened I'm going to rage... in the morning... but right now I'm tired. Goodnight._ It didn't take long for me to fall asleep, joining my masked friend and his squirrel into the realm of slumber.

 **So... part of this was inspired by the song _Alluring Secret ~Black Vow~_ and a video about how eye contact can make you "Fall" for a person and also bring you closer as eye contact is essentially one of the most intimate things. **

**"And his faint sad smile is where their love began"~ I've also been catching up on _Kamisama Hajimemashita_ and _Skip beat._ I actually finished coloring the cover of this story today! Yay! Mainly because I've been sick and didn't go to school today, but hey! It's all good! I don't have to take a Spanish Test or anything after school or whatever! And I'm most likely going to cause glass to fall and break in Chemistry tomorrow... ugh... or I'm going to trip and pull the emergency shower... well, this is going to be fun. Yay. **

**...Agh. Well, Read and Review! Yona's next chapter, I believe. Woo! Got some anger at the villagers. Irene ain't a happy camper. She also understand that because his eyes aren't human, even without their ability, it caused the villagers to be scared because hey-we human fear the unknown and things we can't control. Though there is the ten percent who embrace the unknown.**


	6. To Be Trusted

**Five Days Later**

Blue was gone. Missing. I couldn't find him anywhere. He wasn't in the room, he wasn't at the stream, and he was just _gone_. Blue _never_ left without waking me up first to let me know he was heading out, he _never_ ran off without making hand motions and gesturing towards the exit to signal that he was leaving temporarily, and he _never_ just walked off without leaving Ao with me for company. Blue was more than aware of how badly I panic, of how I freak out and break down when I'm alone for too long. He's even aware of the fact that I have nightmares-he has no idea _what_ the nightmares are about, but he knows I have them and that they're part of the reason why I can't be by myself for over half an hour.

He always left Ao with me because she was able to calm me down, even just by her presence in the room. My nerves aren't that on edge with her near and it takes longer for me to start panicking. I'm still paranoid, yeah, wondering if something happened or if Blue was still okay, but then he'd enter the room and I'd soon return back to my normal self. I just... get scared when he's gone for more than an hour. Especially after what happened with the villagers a few days ago...

Their threats still lingered in my mind. They had been so _scared_ of someone so kind I almost didn't want to believe what I was seeing or hearing, but it had happened and I know it's true. Blue... somehow, one way or another, really _was_ "cursed". In other cases it could have been considered a "blessing", but he had been isolated and hated and forced to do anything to survive. To eat _bugs_ and roots and steal from corpses. To have killed an entire _army_ when you're still a toddler and end up paralyzed yourself, growing up traumatized by that incident. Now he wears the mask because he doesn't want anyone to see his eyes.

How, in any way, shape, or form, could that _not_ be thought of as a "curse"? If you look at it from his perspective, from the villagers perspective, it could only be thought of in that way.

But his eyes can only be used by his own volition, right? Otherwise Ao and I'd of been long gone by now, along with all the villagers. Besides, if it wasn't for his super vision I'd of died bleeding underground, and who _knows_ what that guy would have done if he actually kidnapped me and locked me underground. It's _because_ of Blue's eyes that I'm even still here. I can't think of it as a curse, even if I try to see it from his perspective. He used his eyes for good, to _protect_ the village, against that army even after knowing what it could do to him. Even though he's scared... even though he knows they hate them... he's still trying to protect them to this day.

Because that's Blue.

But those villagers don't want _anything_ to do with him except to keep him locked here in this darkness by himself, and as such they're now trying to get rid of the one person who knows their little "secret". Who knows of Blue's existence.

Me.

"Blue! Where-Where are you!? Blue!" I called out loudly, my voice trembling just a little as a I wandered the cave, doing my best to find my masked friend. I had gotten lost more than once during my hunt for him, having only encountered familiar places about twice (the stream and the place I first woke up) and I had no idea where I was or was heading. I was also lacking severely in sleep, having had new nightmares recently and as such I was unable to go back to sleep. It started about three days ago, two days after the sudden exposure of Blue's face (which I was already on the verge of forgetting, sadly) and I ended up thinking of the threat the one man said, about how they "weren't finished" and that they'd be coming back for me.

I, more than once, had dreams and thoughts about how they'd try to kill me in my sleep-even with Blue right there-and other times I'd wonder if they'd attack Blue as well out of fear or for trying to protect me- _if_ he protected me. I actually think Blue would, which is weird since I'm not really used to being protected.

Despite being the youngest sibling I was never really "protected". I was more "watched after" because of my epilepsy; I, thankfully, ended up being one of the few cases who didn't have it so bad and kind of "grew out of it", as my dad would put it, at a young age. I quit taking my medicine when I hit eleven, having not had seizures for years. My Dad, once my brain finally started to function properly as the medicine I was taking had slowed it down, had begun attacking me with words to get me to grow up and "protect myself" when it came to bullies, wanting me to be quick with comebacks and witty.

...I'm not very good at comebacks. I like to think I'm witty though. As I had mentioned before, no one ever really stood up for me. So being protected was something odd, but at the same time nice. I didn't really _want_ to be protected, but at the same time I did, because it shows that another person cares, but I don't want to become dependent. It sucks.

Especially since I'm so dependent on Blue's presence. He's _literally_ keeping me alive by feeding me and giving me a place to stay. The villagers will without a doubt kill me if I try to leave (not that I want to leave, really) and I'll get lost and probably die if I go out to try and find food. I don't even know where I'm at right now and oh god, just where the hell is Blue?

I can't. I can't do this. I can't do this anymore. Where is he? He's probably been gone ages before I ever woke up and it's been over two hours that I've waited for him to return! I had been searching for at least thirty minutes and _still_ I had no sign of either him or Ao.

I'm scared. I want to see Blue. Wh-What if... What if one of the villagers came out and saw him? What if they attacked him? _No. He's strong. He can handle himself._ But that doesn't mean he wasn't maimed! Blue wouldn't attack them even out of defense-he cares too much for them-and would probably _let_ them take their anger out on him.

Because, like me, he hates himself.

My teeth ground together, my lips curling back slightly as I squeezed my eyes tightly shut. _I hate this... I hate this so much._ I get it-I understand how he feels, just a little bit. But _I_ deserved to be hated. Blue deserved none of that hatred. All he does is care and all they do is hurt. Blue's the sweetest person, though a little intimidating because of his appearance and silence, and I just don't get why it has to be him who gets all that rage aimed at him. He _isn't_ a monster. If anything... the villagers are the monsters.

That man-the one who beat me and tried to use me as a meat shield- _he's_ a monster.

Though sometimes... I wonder what happened to turn him into such a twisted person. _Stop remembering, Irene. Find Blue._ I won't let him get hurt. I won't let the villagers harm him. I won't let him harm _himself_. I don't care; I refuse to let him punish himself by letting them hurt him! I won't let _anyone_ harm Blue-not anymore. Not now that I'm here. _Big talk, can you actually go through with it?_ I leaned against the wall, feeling the dirt press against my skin. The earthy scent filed my nose, reminding me a bit of the outside when I was younger and actually willingly went outside to play, like when you ran around outside barefoot in the grass after it had got done raining the next morning.

 _Blue smells like earth,_ I thought, relaxing just the slightest. My frantic heart seemed to calm at the thought, finding it comforting. Picturing the view of his back in my mind-like if I was watching him walk away-I nodded my head, breathing in deeply as I came up with a resolve. Opening my eyes I became filled with determination, no longer as tense but still just as fixated on finding my roommate and friend. I slammed the side of my fist against the wall, just to vent my emotions a little despite wanting to scream it out, only to instantly regret it and retract my hand, tears welling up in my eyes as I cradled it to my chest. "Ow!" This is why I don't punch walls. I was hoping it'd be more like punching a really rough blanket since it was earth and not stone, but... I sniffled, "It hurts..."

Blue'd probably freak out if he saw I hurt myself. He's such a worry-wort sometimes. I smiled a little, entertaining the thought. He's so adorable at times-like Ao!

Footsteps suddenly caught my attention and snapped me out of my thoughts, causing me to turn my head. "Are you sure it's round here? I thought we passed the room a while ago!"

"Are you a dumbass? If that was the room, the girl'd be in there! Besides, that's _his_ room; I don't want to risk runnin' into the Blue Dragon and have him turn me into stone."

"T-True... Man, why'd you have to bring me along? He'll kill us if we hurt the girl!" I need to move. _Now._ They're after me.

...I think. Could be wrong, but it's highly unlikely. I think I'm the only girl Blue really knows. _I want to hear the rest of their conversation though..._ Quickly looking around I found a corner to run to, making sure I walked on the balls of my feet to avoid making too many noises. My feet were freezing, but it didn't bother me. As long as my arms aren't cold I'm fine. It hurt to walk barefoot on the ground, and I slightly regretted leaving my _Nikes_ by the stream when I took the bath the one day. They were with my dirty clothes and Blue... he, uh, tried to wash them. It didn't end well.

But enough of that. I need to figure out how to get out of this situation.

I slid between a big crack in the wall, hoping that they wouldn't be able to see me hiding because of how dark it was. Unfortunately I could see a light illuminate the cavern and knew that at least one of them were carrying a torch. Maybe they'd be too stupid to notice I'm in here? _Or maybe they're extremely observant and I'm going to die anyway._ The feeling left my gut to churn. I wondered if I should just run out and find a different place to hide, but wasn't able to come to a decision before the two men turned.

"That's only if he finds out! It's as simple as this, Rim-Ji; we find her, we grab her, we leave. Besides, she's a nutcase. Did you hear what Soo-Kan said? He said that the girl claimed to be the Blue Dragon's _friend!_ She can't even defend herself, he told me. Said that she hid behind the man and cowered in fright until he insulted the beast."

"R-Really? What'd she do?"

"Stepped in front of the monster and claimed that he was _nice_. That he "helped" her." A cruel laugh. "She was wearing a man's kimono to boot! Her eyes were cold, like all warmth had been sucked out and replaced with a ferocity that of a demon. Makes me laugh just thinkin' 'bout it. How could a _woman_ be scary?"

"D-Do you remember the chief's late wife? She was pretty frightening when she got mad."

"You call that scary?" There was no response. The only sound was of their footsteps coming closer, before suddenly stopping as the man spoke up again, saying, "Hey. Do you hear something?" I inhaled sharply, my breath hitching in my throat. "Don't move." My nails dug into the earth I was pressed up against, scraping and harming the tips of my fingers. My heart raced loudly in my chest and I breathed as slow and quietly as possible, trying to remain calm despite the anger that was bubbling up inside me. "...Never mind. I thought I heard something. Oh, hey, here's a thought-what if she's his harlot?"

"Ko-ji!"

"Think about it-why else would she be so keen on stayin' with him? If we can convince her that she'll have food and an actual place to stay, then she'll leave! It's the only reason why she's staying here anyway. Monster probably scared her into staying with him; it's a wonder how she's not stone yet..."

" _We're_ going to be stone if we stay here any longer! Let's just leave already!"

"Not without the girl!"

" _Ko-ji!_ "

"Quit being such a girl! Man up; you're thirty-seven with two kids! Your wife has more balls than you do!"

"You're really mean... Why did the chief choose me to be your partner?"

"How the hell should I know?"

Don't. Freaking. _Move_.

The fear in my face had completely vanished, no emotion to be found other than the silent rage boiling in my half-lidded eyes. My breathing had grown irregular and all I wanted to do at that moment was curse them out. If I wasn't so against violence I probably would have ran out and tried to hit the man for not only calling me a freaking _whore_ and _prostitute_ but for degrading Blue and calling him a "monster" and "beast".

I heard them start walking again, my lips slowly curling up into an angry smile as I closed my eyes. I breathed in deeply, stepping out of hiding once I heard them pass by, and I opened my eyes half-way as I gazed daggers into their back, almost wishing they'd drop the torch and get lit on fire. _A) I've never slept with Blue or anyone for that matter, so shut your vulgar mouth. B) I'm not a freaking hooker. And 3) Blue. Is. NOT. A monster._ Besides, even if I WAS Blue's harlot, it'd been more action than that bastard Ko-Ji's ever had. Hell, I doubt Blue even knows what sex is! I've known for years, but only because horror movies traumatized my childhood, but Blue's literally been living underneath a rock. His mind is non-corrupted and pure, which is probably a really good thing. _Hey, I just realized-he's a cinnamon roll._ Too pure and precious for this world.

I nodded to myself, a pleased smile on my face, and whirled around, walking away. It was too dangerous to go the other way since the men left in that direction, so I was going to have to find my friend this way. Then I froze, thinking. If the villagers _entered the caves_ , then who's to say there aren't _others_ looking for Blue? What if others have already _gotten_ to Blue?

I was on the verge of another panic attack when an arm slid in front of my chest around my shoulders, a hand clamping over my mouth and nose. My hands shot up automatically to try and pull the man off of me, but he was stronger than I thought, so I was left to step on his foot. It worked, as he was wearing straw sandals, and I got him to loosen his grip. I felt bad for hurting him, but he freaking deserved it. I stumbled when he pushed me, but wasn't even allowed to fall as he quickly reached out and grabbed a handful of my hair, pulling me back to him painfully as I cried out, trying desperately to pry his fingers off of me. "You little demon-this could have gone the easy way, but you just wanted to make things difficult, didn't you!?"

"Ow, ow, ow-let go of me!" I continued to struggle, only to feel his hand smack me hard across the face, no doubt going to leave a bruise.

Panic suddenly struck me and I seemed to freeze up, remembering what happened last time I resisted an attacker. All of this-even the way it was happening, was way too familiar. My body stiffened, no longer working, and my senses went numb. I could see, but not make out my surroundings; I could hear, but not make out their words. I could move my mouth, but no sound came out. It was hard to breathe. I felt the man push me forward, releasing my hair and now keeping a tight grip on my arm, so tightly it almost felt like my blood flow was cut off. I heard him shout, pushing me and yelling at me when my feet refused to move. He pulled on my arm, yanking it, and I cried out as I was sent stumbling forward.

His friend said something-what I didn't know, and another argument started.

More tugging and pulling. "Man's kimono" I heard the aggressive one scoff. "Harlot". "Blue Dragon". "Marking". Words. Familiar words that seemed to pull at chords in my brain.

 _Blue... Dragon..._ My eyes widened and I lifted my head, face nearly completely blank as I looked around, hoping he was watching. _Hoping_ he'd of looked this way, at this very moment, or at least... will if he hears my voice. I know my limits. I could probably escape from the weaker one, but this man was far more aggressive and it wouldn't take long for him to catch up if I managed to run away. No; I needed help. I could get away long enough for Blue to show up. _If_ he shows up... but I have faith. For once in my life I have faith that a "hero" will show up to save the day. I gave up dreaming like that a long time ago, knowing nothing was like a story or an anime, but... Blue can see. Blue can run. Blue is skilled and _fast_. I know this. I've seen him run.

I've seen him kill a man.

He wouldn't hurt these two men, no, but he could stop them from killing me. _But they're scared of him..._ I froze, still letting myself be dragged along. _Blue's hurt by their fear._ I can't. I can't do it. I can't scream. I don't want him to be hurt. I don't want his feelings to be wounded. _But I'll die._ I ground my teeth together, feeling my eyes sting as I tried to come to a decision. _Make a choice! Damn it, I hate being so indecisive._ I don't want to hurt Blue, but... I refuse to die as well. I... I have to...

Taking a deep breath, I opened my mouth and screamed as loud as I could.

It lasted for a total of three seconds before the man gripping my arm whirled around with wide, terrified eyes and back-slapped me across the face, releasing me and sending me sprawling onto the floor. "Shut up!" I spat out some dirt that got in my mouth and pushed myself up, stumbling as I tried to stand and run. "Come back here!"

"No!" I refuse. I refuse to let myself die. I ground my teeth together and ran faster, easily losing him as I went at full speed. My lungs soon started to wheeze and my legs grew tired, my side crying in protest as I kept going. I began to slow down a little, the man getting closer, but I kept going. I turned a corner, briefly noting that the other man-the timid one-had stayed behind. _Why?_ I wondered, but didn't press the thought. _Have to find Blue!_ How many more corners did I turn? I didn't know.

What I do know is that I tripped on a rather sharp rock and ended up flying forwards, fully prepared to face-plant on the ground. My hands shot out to stop my landing, but an arm appeared in front of me and reached under, wrapping around my back and causing me to slam into someone, my arms wrapping around a familiar neck. My eyes shot open and I turned my head to look behind me just in time to see Blue's hand latch around the man's wrist to stop him from grabbing me. Ko-Ji, I think is his name, looked utterly horrified.

"Y-You..." Blue just stared at him, probably sending cold chills down the man's spine. I wondered if I should let Blue go and just hide behind him, as he had leaned down when he caught me, but the arm around my lower back kept me in place and being so close to him was rather comforting. "We..." Ko-Ji seemed unable to speak in proper sentences. "We just... w-want... the girl. W-We don't... want to... h-harm you..."

Almost subconsciously, my fingers grabbed onto Blue's clothing. The bells on his mask jingled and Blue moved his head a little to look at me, feeling the movement, before his hold on me tightened and he let go of the villager. Ko-Ji stumbled back and fell onto his butt, clearly frightened. Blue stood up straight and I had to remove my arms from around his neck, instead just wrapping them around his back as he refused to let me go. A sharp pain exploded in my foot and I winced, knowing that I must have sliced it on that rock I stepped on. Blue remained silent as he stared at the villager, probably just waiting for him to run away.

It then occurred to me that Blue was _here_. Unharmed. Safe. My eyes widened at the realization and I shot my head up to look up at him, stunned and a hundred times relieved. My eyes stung a little and I lowered my head, squeezing my eyes shut as I resisted the urge to bear hug him. _He's okay... he's safe._ And he came. Blue really came to help me. "L-Look, uh, B-Blue Dragon... we don't want any trouble. We just want the girl. Th-The Chief... wants to have a little talk, that's all."

"...Irene." Both the villager and I were startled. Him at Blue actually speaking and me at the fact that he used my name. I slowly opened my eyes and looked up, blinking a couple times to clear my blurry vision. Blue was looking down at me. I wondered briefly if he was staring at my eyes.

"Y-Yeah?" Wait, he's not... he's not going to make me go with them, right? I thought... I thought that we decided that I was going to stay with him. I thought... "What's up?" My voice cracked a little as fear wormed its way into my heart. _He hates me._ He didn't wake me up because he didn't want me there with him anymore. And now he's so fed up with having to save me all the time he's going to make me go with them...

He just stared at me, not saying anything, before removing one of his arms from around me and instead cupped my cheek. I flinched, almost recoiling at the pain that flared up in my cheek. His mouth opened, clearly surprised, before his mouth went into a thin line and he frowned. He then pulled away and placed both his hands on my shoulders, turning his head and staring at the shaken villager. "...Did you... do this to her?"

"Wh-What?" He looked terrified for his life, while I was just stunned at the sudden change. _Wait... he **isn't** sending me away? _

"Irene..." His grip on my shoulders tightened slightly. I stiffened, surprised, and looked up at him and then at the villager, before looking back at Blue. "Did you hurt her?" His voice seemed to have darkened, deeper than what it usually was and a little bit louder.

I grew alarmed.

"I-It was an accident!" The man blurted. "Sh-She was running and I-I only meant to grab her arm-"

"-And I tripped and fell! So he ended up grabbing my hair instead. Stuff happens, y-you know!?" I interrupted and laughed, giving a timid toothy grin. Ko-Ji went silent, frozen, and Blue looked down at me. He didn't believe me. "I-I'm pretty clumsy-heck, I think I cut my foot on a rock earlier." Grabbing onto his arms for balance I turned my head back and lifted up my right foot, staring at the bottom. There was a nice red trail of blood pooling down from the arch-or in-step depending on what you want to call it- of my foot. "Yeah, see!" I tried to turn so he could see it, but only ended up hurting my hip in the process. My body instantly went limp and I collapsed against his chest, crying out just as pain shot through my left hip. "Ow!" I winced and tried to stand back up, but it hurt quite a lot trying to do so. "S-Sorry. B-But, yeah, clumsy. Th-That's what people used to call me, anyway." I laughed, grinning. "N-Not... Not really that guy's fault."

It was my fault anyway. I couldn't get away fast enough. I couldn't evade his grasp. It's because I was weak.

"..." I grew slightly unnerved when Blue didn't say anything. He knew I was lying, but at the same time he knew I waspretty clumsy. Ko-Ji, seeing what I was doing, quickly nodded his head.

"Y-Yeah! What she said! She hurt _herself!_ " He shut his mouth when Blue turned his gaze onto him.

Not really all that happy with the current situation, Blue bluntly told the man to leave. Ko-Ji stared, unsure if heard correctly, when his gaze was brought to a chubby squirrel sitting on his knee and glaring at him.

"P'kyuu!" She squeaked, angry, and the man screamed. He quickly shuffled to his feet, Ao jumping off of him and landing gracefully on the ground, and he ran. It didn't take long for him to leave view, but once he did Blue turned his gaze onto me, causing me to stiffen. I watched as Ao climbed and sat on the top of his head, but that didn't nothing to rid the anxiety forming. _I-I'm about to get yelled at or lectured, aren't I?_

"Penny for your thoughts?" I offered in a squeaky voice, flinching when I heard how high pitch it went. I hesitantly opened an eye, only to close it in fright when I saw him raise a hand. I expected to feel a stinging pain in my face, but instead he just pat my head. I opened my eyes and blinked. "Blue?" I asked, looking up at him. His hand trailed down my face and he brushed my bangs out of my face, allowing me to see with both eyes as he tucked the hair behind my ear. Next thing I knew he wrapped the arm around my neck and shoulder, pulling me forward as he leaned down and pressed his mouth against the top of my head.

 _Ba-Dump. Ba-Dump._

"B-Blue?" I stammered when he rested his head against mine.

"...fault..."

"Hah?" He pulled away, hands resting on my arms. "What'd you say?"

He lowered his head, clearly upset. "It's my fault... you got hurt." My eyes widened. Then my gaze softened and I relaxed, staring up at him with a warm gaze. "I should have woken you."

"I should have stayed put in the room," I corrected, causing him to give a quiet gasp as he looked at me. "They only found me because I went out. That isn't your fault." Blue shook his head adamantly.

"You... went out... because you were worried."

"Yeah. I went out. My choice. Not yours."

Blue seemed unsatisfied with the current conversation. I don't really blame him.

Heaving a sigh I placed a hand on my waist and waved the other in the air, trying to come up with a topic change. "Let's just-Let's just forget the blame game and-and just go back now, okay?" I then realized, looking up at him in alarm, "I-If you're-If you're done with... you know... what it was you were doing." For all I know he could have been using the bathroom. "I-If you're done and you want to walk back with me! I-I'm not-I'm not forcing you or anything!" I brought my hands in front of me and fiddled with my fingers, before twisting and pulling on my kimono sleeves. "I-I just... I dunno. Uh, th-thanks for... saving me. Again. And... not letting me get kidnapped." I inhaled deeply and lifted my head, turning away from him briefly before looking up at him to see his reaction. "Again... I-If not, I mean, you can-you can go back to what it was you were doing, I'm not going to stop you! I-I just thought s-since you actually popped up that you were-that you were done with what it was you were doing. I-I mean-"

Blue clamped a hand over my mouth, shutting me up. My face went red as he pulled his hand away and I bit my bottom lip, embarrassed.

"S-Sorry..."

He didn't say anything, merely reaching inside his coat to pull out a small cloth wrapped around something. He held it out to me, slowly unwrapping it with his other hand, to reveal a bunch of sunflowerseeds. I blinked.

"The heck did you get those?" We're in the underground! There's no sun for-for who knows where!?

"...A long way from here... there's this room with a hole in the wall." He explained slowly, not sure how to go about it. "A... small batch of sunflowers grow there. Here." He held them out to me, my stomach grumbling a little to remind me of how I ate even less than what I slept, but I held my hands up in protest.

"You can have them." He needs food more than I do. I've seen him eat bugs; he needs something that'll actually _work_ for food. I know bugs have protein, but it's _disgusting_. "You're probably hungrier than I am." I can live a few more days without food. It was hard the first few weeks-I kept getting dizzy and sick. But now I'm pretty used to having an empty stomach. The weight loss was annoying though.

Blue frowned and grabbed my hand, placing the pile of seeds in my palm despite my protests. "I... got them... for you. You need to eat something. You're... so thin now." He was so clearly concerned it almost made my heart break. I felt bad for making him worry. "Please," He added, and I found myself unable to to go against him. I cracked a shell open with my nail and pulled out the seed, popping it in my mouth and chewing. It tasted a little salty and a bit like a peanut. It's been years since I had a sunflower seed. Blue seemed to relax when he saw I was eating and he placed a hand on my head, petting it while I ate pouting. "Thank you."

"Yeah, yeah..." I mumbled, cracking another open and popping in another seed. If I didn't know any better, I would have thought that Blue smiled. I paused, staring up at him in confusion, but his face remained impassive as ever. I deemed it as a a hallucination, even though Ao sitting on his head was something completely normal.

"...What happened to your fingers?" I blinked and looked down, remember how I had hid in a crack in the wall.

 **Three Weeks Later. A month and two weeks since the start.**

I was currently using Blue's lap as a pillow, the male running his fingers gently through my hair to entertain himself. There wasn't much to do, as I had used up all stories that entered my mind, and Blue just wasn't a talker in general. I was dozing off, more than relaxed with Blue right beside me and Ao sitting on my tummy, and was simultaneously thinking of things for us to do. After a while I got to thinking of all the movies I watched in the past and if any of them could give me any ideas, when I suddenly remembered _Beauty and the Beast-_ my all time favorite Disney movie. _Tale As Old As Time_ soon got stuck in my head and I got to thinking, wondering if I should make Blue dance with me.

Not the frightening dance you'd see at High School-god no, I was traumatized. I hid in a corner after that and stayed far away from the crowd, waiting until twelve hit so that I could go home. The only reason I even bothered to go to that dance was because Chris and Eliza were there, and they avoided me a lot during that. My cousin's friend got me to go up with everyone who was grinding, and I was just there dancing awkwardly, when this girl came up from behind me and tried to get all up on me. I promptly stayed away from people after that. "Hey, Blue...?" I began hesitantly, lifting Ao off of my stomach and placing her on my chest, messing with her front paws and rubbing the pads with my thumbs. Ao seemed to enjoy it. Blue paused in his playing with my hair, brushing my bangs out of my face once more before looking down at me curiously. I grinned up at him, feeling extremely hopeful. "You wanna dance?" He tilted his head.

I took that as a "yes". Gently setting Ao on my head I sat up, the squirrel scrambling off of my forehead and onto the top of my head as I stood. I grabbed one of Blue's hands, grunting as I tried to pull him onto his feet.

"Get up!" I heaved, wheezing, and Blue stood. I let out a breath, before asking no one in particular, "Okay, how we gonna do this? There's, like, two versions." That I see on shows all the time. "There's ballroom dancing and then waltzing." I don't know how to do either, honestly. I just go by what I see and hear. "Um, okay. You can either have both your hands on my waist and my hands on your shoulders, or I have one hand on one shoulder and you have one on my waist and we're holding each others hands with the other. Which one?"

Blue just stared, not really understanding what it was I was talking about. I was bored, okay!? So what if it's not proper dancing-it'll be fun! I was about to ask him to pick a number one through ten, when he surprised me by grabbing my right hand with his left. Slowly, as if confused and uncertain, he placed a hand on my waist.

A sudden shock of electricity shot through my body, but it wasn't really like the usual electric shock you'd get. It was weird, but it sent a weird tingly feeling through all my body and made me both excited and nervous-a bit like I was floating, really. It was odd. I wasn't going to complain though-I kind of liked it.

I timidly placed a hand on his shoulder, noting how I only went up to just below his chin. Dang, he's tall. "O-Okay, um, I don't know the exact... thingy. The-The guy is actually supposed to lead, or... well, the taller person in general, but hey! We can-We can improvise, right?" Blue, mouth slightly open in that cute little fashion of his, nodded. "O-Okay. Um, well, here we go!" Stop making things awkward, Irene. "O-One, two, three..." I stepped backwards with my right, before moving diagonally with my left. "Um, slide-" I slid my right foot so it was back together with my left. Blue followed and I kept watching our feet to make sure I was doing it at least semi-correctly and so I wouldn't trip and fall. "Oh! We-We turn, I think." Still following my movements we turned. "There's also this one dance with a little spin-y thing! Like," I held his hand up in the air and did a little spin, stumbling a little as I caught myself, before spinning back and placing a hand on his shoulder with a grin. "That!"

Blue, despite his usual impassive face, looked a bit interested. "Spin..." I watched as he raised my hand up as high as it would go before he knelt down and did a little spin awkwardly. A grin spread across my face and I laughed, before pulling my hand away and clapping them together.

"Nice! Beautiful, Blue, beautiful!"

His mouth opened, surprised, before his lips tilted upwards in a happy smile.

I froze, just staring at it unblinkingly. "You..." His smile faltered, his face now going back to its usual state. "No, no! Do that again! Do that again!" Blue spun in a circle. "No! You-You smiled! You just smiled!" He stopped spinning and looked at me confused. "You never smiled before!" My shock vanished and was instead replaced with an overwhelming joy, wanting nothing more than to see that smile again. I grinned so wide my cheekbones felt like they were going to break. "I got to see you smile." The one thing I had been trying to see... I watched Blue place a hand over his mouth, confused and unsure if that was a good thing. I smiled up at him, unable to stop the amount of warmth that was able to be heard in my voice. "You have a nice smile. You should smile more often, Blue."

"Smile...?"

"Yeah, you know! Smile!" Picking Ao off my head I held her up to him, "Ao's doing it!"

"...Like you."

"Huh?" I blinked. Blue explained.

"You're... always smiling." I guess I am, huh? Even when I'm hurt; I just keep smiling. Smiles are supposed to be contagious. Therefore, the more I smile, the more the people around me will do the same. I want to make everybody happy, though sometimes it's hard when there are just so many cruel people out there. I don't want them to get hurt... but, as I said, we all can't have what we want. Life is life. It sucks. "You... have a nice smile, too." I stared, dumbfounded.

"I do?" I always thought I looked rather stupid. Blue nodded and grabbed my right hand, Ao climbing up my arm to rest on my shoulder, and laced our fingers together. I wondered if my face was red. It felt warm, at least. But so does his hand... "Th-Thank you..."

I suddenly remembered a time when I was told that I didn't seem like I handled being complimented very well. I understand now what that person meant by that.

"W-Well, anyway! Back to dancing! _Beauty and the Beast_ is comin' right up!" It was a harmless comment, but it caused Blue to pause. I looked up at him confusion, wondering what was wrong with what I said, when I realized. "O-Oh. That's a, uh, story I used to be told. Prince was really cold towards anyone who wasn't pretty, except his servants, and one day an enchantress disguised as an old beggar appeared to his castle asking for a place to stay. He said no, he disregarded the rose she offered for payment, and only would accept her when she revealed herself to be a gorgeous enchantress." Blue seemed to be listening intently to my story, finally understanding what I meant by my comment. "She saw him for what he really was and placed a cursed on him, turning him into this monstrous beast and all his servants into talking, moving furniture. The castle was no longer beautiful-it actually looked like something a dark wizard would live in. A-Anyway, the only way to break the curse was if he was to love and be loved in return before the last petal on the magic rose fell."

"Love?"

I nodded, the two of us dancing again. Somehow I wasn't tripping over my feet or stepping on his, but during this Blue started to take over and I began to follow. "Yeah. Meet a girl and fall in love with her. You know-racing heart, blushing face, butterflies in the stomach-all that cheesy goodness. _Anyway_ , I don't remember how many years or whatever passed, but he grew dark and cold and isolated himself off with the rest of the kingdom, living in the middle of nowhere with his castle and servants. One day a young lady's father went to go to some festival, but got lost in the rain and encountered the castle. He entered, looking for a place to stay, but the prince wasn't going to have it. So he threw him in the dungeon."

"...Why?" Blue seemed confused as to why the Beast was so cruel.

"Because... well, he doesn't want anyone to see him for what he's become. You know how people are, Blue-they'd attack him and his servants if they found out what they were. Think that they were "cursed" creatures who'd want to kill them. The servants are actually the nicest part of the castle." Blue remained silent. I wondered just how much he was relating to the story. "Well, turns out the old man-who's a scientist by the way-had a lovely daughter by the name of "Belle". That means "beauty" in french, hence _Beauty and the Beast_. She was fed up with her "providential life" and wanted adventure. Unfortunately for her she was stuck in her little town with the jerkest of guys after her-a dude named Gaston who was so in love with looks and himself that he, uh, well. He was pretty shallow. Gave no insight to personality and only for the looks-practically treated women like slaves and tools." Blue frowned and I knew he didn't like him. "My reaction exactly. But, uh, her dad went missing and she got worried so she went after him. Got lost, found the castle, entered, and all the servants saw her and were like "Whoa! She's pretty! And female! Clearly she's the one who can break the curse"! They then took care of her, the woman more impressed by everything than scared, and was treated warmly by the servants.

Then she found her dad locked up and the Beast saw her. She asked him to let her get imprisoned in his place and the Beast agreed. The father was let go and Belle was trapped, later moved to a nicer room, invited to dinner by the Beast-who she was not all that happy to see." I laughed a little, only to yelp and stumble when Blue suddenly raised an arm up and spun me. I spun back, but wasn't able to catch myself and crashed straight into his chest. He helped me stand and I thanked him, apologizing for crashing into him, and we continued. I kept explaining, "Um, I don't remember what happened exactly after, but the two actually started to grow closer and Belle began to grow feelings for the Beast and vice versa. She learned he wasn't a terrible jerk and actually cared for his servants and, later on, her. But back in the village the Dad began to freak out, Gaston all but ready to throw her dad to the loony bin. The Beast, after a few months I think, let her go-but only after giving her a mirror that would let her see him at any time."

"...She left...?"

"She goes back!" I promised, heart sinking a little when I saw him grow upset. "Just hold on! I'm not done yet! Patience is a virtue, Blue. Now, as I was saying-The Beast gave her a magic mirror and she went home, but just in time to see the villagers throw her dad in the back of a cart, ready to ship him off to the madhouse." His frown deepened. "Not knowing what else to do to help her dad Belle held out the mirror and shouted, "Show me the Beast"! only to reveal an image of him roaring in despair at the sky. Of course, due to the timing and what they saw, they were all utterly horrified. Gaston was flabbergasted and, of course, under the delusion that hey-! Clearly he brainwashed the beauty and to fix the "curse" he put upon her he was going to kill the Beast. Belle wasn't going to have any of it and tried to protest, saying he was a good guy, but no one listened and locked her in her family's basement.

She escapes and gets on her horse and goes back to the castle, desperate to save him, and arrives just in time to stop Gaston from killing the Beast. He didn't fight back until that moment, so upset over Belle's departure, but the second he heard her call out for him he wanted to live once more, to see her smile. And so he knocked Gaston off of him and fought. Gaston was knocked back, believed unconscious, and Beast and Belle had their little reunion. But turned out Gaston was still conscious and stabbed Beast in the side to Belle's horror. But, at the same time as he fell off the balcony, he knocked Gaston off with him."

"..."

"I'm almost done, jeez! I know it's depressing right now, but it gets better!" Blue didn't look like he believed me, but let me continue. He... actually seemed a bit pained over something. I decided to finish before asking, saying, "Well, Belle gets down to where the Beast is, the villagers all driven off and Gaston dead by this point, and ran to his fallen form. She cried, clinging to him, and begged him not to leave her, saying that she loved him and didn't want him to go. Then, just as the _last_ petal fell-the final piece of the rose, the spell was broken." Blue stopped dancing, the two of us now standing as he looked down at me with an open mouth. "Belle was stunned-she almost didn't want to believe that the Beast she had grown to love was the same human male in front of her right then. But-you know how she knew?"

"?" I smiled up at him, almost meaningfully, and said,

"His eyes. They were the same eyes as the Beast's. That's how she knew it was him. For _no one_ has the same pair of eyes." I then uncurled my fingers from around his, reaching up and tapping his mask lightly. "One of the reasons why I want to look at your eyes so much. The eyes are the door to the soul. And you, Blue, have one of the most beautiful pair of eyes I have ever seen." He was stunned and made no sound, making me wonder what expression he had made then. Not knowing what else to do in that moment I gave him the toothiest grin I could muster, smiling so wide you could see my dimples. I was kind of worried as to how he'd respond, so I continued, "In the end the curse was broken and everything went back to how it used to be-the gargoyles turned into beautiful statues and the daunting castle turned into something you'd see in your dreams. The servants went back to normal-even the dog-and Belle and the Beast, whose real name is Adam, got married. The Dad was freed, too."

"...Irene..." I blinked.

"Yeah?"

Blue stared at me for a long moment, the hand on my waist gripping the kimono I was wearing tightly, before he released me. I watched him take a deep breath, wondering what he was going to say or do, when he rose a hand up, trembling a little, and lifted up his mask. My eyes widened, watching him lift it up and letting it rest on the top of his head, and hesitantly open his eyes.

I almost forgot to breathe. His eyes were still so sorrowful, as if mourning, but at the same time they seemed to have just a little more light than before. His eyes widened when he saw I was staring directly at them and he looked away, turning his head, but I quickly reached a hand up to cup his face.

It's amazing at just how bold I've gotten during my stay here. The past me would have never done something like this. I'd of been too scared.

"I want to look at you, Blue." He took the mask off of his own volition. He basically said "it's okay" and that he trusted me. "I'm not scared... you shouldn't be either." His eyes looked a little red and I wondered if they hurt, or if he was about to cry. "There's nothing scary about you."

I jumped back when he suddenly fell to the floor, the mask falling off his head completely and landing a few feet away. I knelt down in front of him, sitting between his legs, about to ask if he was okay, but he reached over and grabbed my hand which was hovering near his face.

 _Ba-Dump. Ba-Dump.  
_

"Blue?"

"...Thank you..." I felt my face heat up. My eyes widened, seeing the sincerity in his golden orbs, and I stammered,

"Th-There's nothing to thank me for. I'm just-I'm just stating the truth. You don't... You don't have to hide your face from me, you know. Heck, how you stand lookin' at my ugly mug every day is a wonder to me, but there's no reason why I should be scared to look at _you_. You're beautiful, Blue. Inside _and_ out." His eyes were piercing, so intense it felt like he was staring into my very soul. They were absolutely mesmerizing and it wasn't possible to look away. It felt like they were sucking me in. I wondered if this was how it felt to be lost in someone's eyes _. Oh god, cheesy pick-up line._ "H-Hey, Blue?" I can't not say it. He tilted his head, eyes still looking so warmly happy yet so forlorn at the same time. "C-Can you give me some directions?" He just looked confused. I grinned and clicked my tongue against the room of my mouth, snapping my fingers and pointing at him, "Because I just got lost in your eyes!" _Ba-dum tss!  
_

He blinked and just stared, and I never felt more humiliated in this moment. I tried to play it off with a smile, saying,

"Eh? No? Come on, not even a chuckle? I thought that was pretty good."

He shook his head at me, but his eyes revealed amusement when he opened them again. I just smiled, relieved and happy to know he trusted me this much. Finally asking the dreaded question, I said,

"By the way... are you okay? You seemed... kinda... hurt earlier. And your eyes are red."

He went silent, before raising a hand up to his face and closing his eyes. "My eyes... have been hurting since this morning. I... don't know what's wrong."

Worry instantly hit me like a ton of bricks and I pulled his hand away, gently grabbing his chin and pulling his face close to mine as I stared into his eyes, searching for any signs of pink eye. Blue went still and inhaled sharply when I got so close. "Are they aggravated? Sore? Itchy? You haven't been crying a lot, I think, and your eyes aren't all that pink or red..." Maybe they're just dry? I knitted my eyebrows together and bit the inside of the my cheek thoughtfully before chewing on my bottom lip. After staring into his eyes for about two whole minutes Blue finally freaked out and closed his eyes, unable to take the amount of eye contact due to being used to wearing a mask all the time. I pulled away when I saw how uncomfortable he was and crossed my arms, staring up at him. "I don't know..."

He timidly opened his eyes again, head turned, and looked at me out of the corner of his eyes. Suddenly they widened and he lifted his head, looking at the doorway. I blinked when I saw him reach for his mask.

A spike of fear hit me. "I-Is... Is it another villager?" He shook his head.

"Intruder. Small... weak." He pulled the mask on, "Stay with Ao."

I looked around for the small squirrel as Blue stood, but could not find her. "She's not here!" Blue stiffened. He turned towards me, kneeling down on one knee, and placed a hand on my head, pulling me forward and resting my head against his shoulder. He then pulled away, hesitating, before planting a kiss on my forehead in his way of saying "I'll be back soon". After the second attack he sometimes did that, especially when I started to panic as it calmed me down a little. There was just something about Blue that was so calming. I wasn't sure what it was, but it was nice. "Be... Be careful, okay?"

He nodded at my words, pulling away, before standing. I watched him leave, wondering why I felt like something big was about to happen.

I didn't know I should be scared or not.


	7. More Than One Dragon

**I think Irene would have Suzuko Mimori as a "voice". If you don't know who that is, think of Nanami from _Kamisama Kiss/Kamisama Hajimemashita._ Good anime, even better manga. **

I rocked back-and-forth on the ground impatiently, waiting for Blue to return. Eight minutes had passed since his departure and I was on edge, fighting desperately against the urge to go out and look for him. _He's fine, he's fine, Blue is okay. Don't think about it._ He had claimed it wasn't a villager and never necessarily stated that it was an enemy. That meant there was a high chance that Blue wouldn't get hurt and neither would the newcomer. But while that was so, he could have just kept the knowledge of the person being an enemy from me so I wouldn't worry and look for him.

Unfortunately (I seem to say that a lot, don't I?) Blue not saying anything other than the intruder being "small and weak" did nothing to help ease my mind.

"He's fine," I muttered, shifting position so my knees were pulled up to my chest. I brought my hands up and grabbed fistfuls of my hair-pulling on it as I choked and fought against the tears. "He's... He's fine." Why do I have to constantly do this? Why can't I just go one day with Blue leaving me alone and not be worried or scared? Am I that desperate for attention or am I really just that attached to him? _He'll come back in one piece, Irene, so calm down!_ "Please be safe..."

As if to just unnerve me more a female scream echoed about the corridor, causing chills to run down my spine and goosebumps to run along my skin, the tattoo on the left side of my face beginning to sting-like I had just gotten slapped.

And trust me, that _hurts_.

A whimper escaped me and I buried my face in my knees, fingers clawing and pulling on the hair on the back of my head, attempting to distract myself with a newer pain. I felt weaker-feverish even, as the pain in my chest increased drastically. _What's going on!?_ Is he okay; who was he fighting? Is he even fighting anyone or did that one village guard attack the intruder before Blue could ever get close to her?

Outsiders aren't supposed to know about him after all, which meant the villagers would do anything to keep him secret-even getting rid of those who could risk seeing him.

"Hurry back, hurry back-Please, _please_ hurry back..." I can't take this. It hurts. Everything hurts. My heart, my face, and even my side is beginning to burn a little.

Blue left, Ao's not here, there's a possibly innocent person out there being beaten, kidnapped, and/or killed, and I'm here having a freaking panic attack about it!

I sat up abruptly and slammed the back of my head against the wall I was leaning against, before crying out loudly and cradling my hands around the new bump. "OW!" I then groaned, whimpering and mumbling to myself about how I was never going to do that again. My poor head sustains enough injuries as is on a daily basis because of the guys who think it's fun to make an appearance every couple days to get rid of me, and I don't think it needs anymore. I'll end up having another concussion or just get brain damage in general. I don't know about you, but I'm not in the mood for a fractured skull. "Ugh..." I groaned and sat up straight, feeling a headache form. "Just great..."

For now I was distracted and my thoughts were in disarray. I could stop worrying, if only for a few moments.

My face continued to burn, but I felt more calm. A strange thought suddenly came to my mind-in a way similar to how I had called Blue being a "Blue Dragon" when I first ran into him. I sat up halfway, eyes locked onto the entrance almost as if something was pulling me-tugging at my body and telling me to go find "that person".

That... _king_.

But what king? I know of no kings. The only "royalty" I know of is that stuff you'd see on a magazine cover if you went to Wal-Mart. There was always something about some prince and his wife and how many kids they have, and honestly I could care less. Most of it was just rumors anyway-that's how magazines and celebrities work anyway.

So why... _Why_ does it feel like if I don't leave now I'll miss out on something big-something life changing? Even more crazy than what I'm dealing with now.

Because let's face it-people trying to assassinate you isn't really normal. Wait... assassinate...

I went completely still as I remembered Blue and that he was still gone. My stomach twisted grossly and I felt a horrible feeling form once more, making me wonder if he was hurt. There was no time to ponder that thought as a sudden squeak captured my attention, making me turn my head and look down when Ao jumped up and latched onto my arm. "P'kyuu!"

"Ao?" I said in surprise, before a huge relieved grin spread across my face and I picked her up off of my arm, cuddling her and rubbing her cheek against mine. "You're okay! I was so _worried_ about you! Jeezle-give some warning before you run off like that again, okay!?" She squeaked, pressing her nose against my cheek briefly, before jumping out of my hold and landing on the ground next to me. I stared at her in confusion. "Ao?" Did I do something wrong?

"Kyuu!" She bit down on my pants leg, pulling at it and tugging, and I hesitated in fear of being bit before reaching forward and pulling her teeth off of my clothing. "P'kyuu!" I winced.

"Sorry!" Ao stared at me for a long moment before jumping up and biting my finger. " _Ow!_ What was that for!?" I cradled the wounded phalange to my chest, hurt and slightly betrayed. I scooted away from her, appalled by her sudden behavior.

"P'kyuu!" She shouted, locking eyes with me and causing me to freeze in place. I watched and listened as Ao let out various other squeaks and squeals, seeming to be trying to get some kind of message across. "Kyuu! P'kyuu! Kyuu!" I blinked, observing the way her face moved as he squeaked and the tone she said it in.

I bat my eyes a couple more times, something I always did when confused, and briefly wondered why I didn't have Kronk's skill at understanding and speaking squirrel.

"P'kyuuu!"

"...I don't get it." Ao let out a huff before reaching over and and pulling on my pants leg again. "...Do you want me to go somewhere?" I am so lost. However, what I said seemed to strike a chord with her and she nodded frantically, the smile spreading across her face once more. "Yeah?"

"P'kyuu!"

"...Why?" After a few moments of silence I remembered the one thing that could get either Ao or I to freak out. "What happened?" Any and all confusion I felt got pushed to the deepest parts of my mind and was replaced with fear and worry. "Is it Blue?" She nodded again, squeaking loudly. "What happened? Is he hurt?" Another squeak. I stood and Ao pawed at the ground, signaling that we needed to hurry. Feeling a sob start to build up in my throat I ground my teeth together and inhaled sharply, forcing it back as I said, "Can you show me where he's at?"

"P'kyuu!" Ao seemed more than happy to do as I asked and I quickly followed her out of the room. It grew so dark to the point where I had to rely on my hearing, listening intently to the sound of her pawsteps pattering against the ground, and soon my eyes adjusted to the change in lighting. "Kyuu, kyuu!" I yelped when I suddenly tripped, face-planting into the ground, and I spat out some dirt as I pushed myself up onto my knees. I looked around frantically as I tried to locate the squirrel, and after a few moments I could hear the faint sound of her squeaking. "Hold on!"

 _I'm coming, Blue._ Just... hold out a little longer, okay?

I stopped running and went still, having lost the squirrel. "...Ao?" Where'd she go? Panic formed and I could feel fear worm its way into my heart, paranoia making me look around frightfully as I stepped closer to the wall on my right, reaching a hand out and placing my hand on it. I almost retracted it, feeling a stinging on my palm, when I realized I must have scraped the skin when I fell. "Okay, okay, calm down. Calm down. Deep breaths." In and out, Irene. In and out...

I closed my eyes, breathing slowly, before forcing my feet to move forward. Ao had come to me for help... which meant there was something wrong with Blue. _He said his eyes were hurting..._ Could his fever have gotten worse? What if he was hurt!? We... we don't really have any medicine and if it's bad enough then... then Blue might... _No. No, that's not going to happen. Blue is strong. He can... He can get through whatever it is._

Please let me find him soon...

"P'kyuu!"

My head shot up towards the direction it was coming from and I instantly dashed forward, crying out, "Ao- _oof!"_ I slammed straight into another wall, stumbling backwards with a hand over my nose and the other held out in front of me to stop me from crashing into any more objects. "Owwie..." I shook my head, dismissing the pain, and blinked multiple times as I tried to remember the direction I heard Ao's voice. "I'm coming, just-just hold on!" I stumbled forward, arms out and moving around despite how I was able to see, and before long I saw Ao sitting on the floor with her tail tapping against the ground. "Ao!" She took off again. "H-Hey! Hold up! I can't go that fast!"

I mean, my stamina has increased greatly thanks to having to run for my life most of the time, but I still can't keep up with a squirrel. I chased after her.

"Wh-Where are we heading!? Is Blue that way!?"

"Kyuu!" I knitted my eyebrows in confusion as we turned a corner, before looking around when I noticed that we were in a different area of the caves. There were unlit torches along the walls, something that the others areas didn't have. "P'kyuu!" We came across a small room, one that actually looked rather familiar. Ao stopped running and I stood beside her, looking around as I recalled that this was near the area where I woke up.

This was where I met Blue.

And speaking of Blue... I watched in alarm as he stumbled into view, a hand against the wall as he struggled to keep his balance. I could barely make him out in the darkness, but I would recognize his silhouette and the sound of those particular bells anywhere. I stepped forward hesitantly, hearing his heavy breathing, only to freeze when I saw him pause and lift his head up, looking in mine and Ao's direction. He began to change course, heading towards us instead, but a sharp gasp escaped him as his legs gave out. My eyes widened and I wasted no time in darting forward, practically flying in my attempt to catch him.

"Blue!"

My arms slid underneath his, wrapping around his waist. I gasped and yelped when my knees suddenly buckled, Blue's weight crashing down on me all at once and overwhelming me. I hit the ground with a grunt, only to bite back a scream when I landed on my foot wrong. A searing pain shot up my leg as I struggled to lift him up and it took all I had to not burst into tears. I heard him wheeze and I briefly wondered if he got winded when he fell and my head slammed against his chest. I dug my fingers into his back, feeling him start to slip out of my hold, and used what strength I had in my wobbling legs to lift him.

I huffed, gasping and panting, and did my best not to step back or wobble as Blue's weight caused me to lean back and nearly fall down again. "I... I got you!" I wheezed. I heard him groan, the male limp in my arms, and I racked my brain desperately for an answer of what to do.

In his current state and with my lack of strength it would be impossible to carry him back to our room, and it's not like I even knew the way back anyway. So what can I...?

My attention was caught by the wall that was only a few feet away. I could almost feel the imaginary lightbulb lighting up in the air above my head. "I got it! H-Hold on, okay? Just..." I gasped, more than a little exhausted as I dragged my feet slowly towards the wall. "Hold on!" My voice rose up in pitch as I spoke, losing balance and nearly toppling over with Blue on top of me. By some miracle I managed to catch us both. Unfortunately it just caused a hot, searing pain to strike my ankle. "I got you!" Oh god, it hurts...

No. No, I'm fine. Blue's top priority right now.

"A... little... closer... and- _gah!_ " I fell forward, pressing Blue's back against the wall. From our current position I could hear his heart running a marathon inside of his chest, just further increasing my worry for him. I took a shaky breath, attempting to lower him gently onto the floor when I lost my grip and his weight took over again. Intense pain shot through my leg and I was unable to stop the scream that ripped out of my throat when the rocks on the wall tore the skin off of my knuckles as Blue and I both slid down onto the ground roughly. I clamped my mouth shut by the time I realized what had happened and resisted the urge to bury my face in Blue's chest for comfort, almost scared to move.

 _Calm down. Calm down._ I'm fine. I-It doesn't hurt... not at all...

I hoped that if I thought that enough, I would actually start to believe it and forget the wounds were there. I slowly pulled my hands out from behind Blue, cringing and fighting tears as I felt something warm and wet trickle down my fingers. With a wince I pressed the backs of my hands against my thighs, trying to stop the bleeding. As I did that I took the time to examine him, making sure he had no external injuries.

He was hyperventilating, that was much clear, and his lips were curled back. His teeth were ground so tightly together you could tell he was in excruciating pain, and there was sweat dripping off of his face. I couldn't see any injuries, so I don't think he was _wounded_ more as he was just plain sick. With that thought in mind I reached up and pulled the mask off of his face, almost recoiling at the amount of heat that was radiating off of his form. I set the mask on the ground carefully, making a face when I realized the fur detached itself from it and was now stuck behind Blue, but promptly decided to ignore as it would do well to keep him comfortable.

I lifted my head up, moving so I was sitting up on my knees, only to feel my heart break and fall down into my stomach. "Oh god, Blue..."

He looked _awful_. Blue was much paler than usual, his face completely flushed and his eyes red and slightly swollen. It looked like it was taking all his strength and will power not to scream or writhe in pain. Without realizing it I had reached a hand up to his face, the male inhaling sharply when my fingers brushed against his cheek. I almost recoiled, scared of hurting him, but inhaling deeply I cupped his cheek and used my other hand to check his temperature (not that I should, really, considering it's clearly obvious he's not doing well).

"Jesus, you're burning..." Stop stating the obvious! God damn it, I... I wish I knew what to do. "Um, how are you feeling? I-I mean, what's wrong exactly? You-You said it was your eyes, but-" He shook his head at me and I cut myself off with a flinch, apologizing. "S-Sorry..." I just want to help.

"H-How..." His voice trembled and I watched in confusion as he opened an eye. The single golden orb seemed to have trouble focusing, looking rather misty. "How did... you find me?" I blinked. I then realized why he was asking.

"Oh. Um, Ao." I pointed at her, the female squirrel having been nuzzling his hand to comfort him, and she squeaked. Blue's other eye opened as she did so and he watched as she hopped into my lap. I picked her up gently and held her up against my chest, looking up at him with a small smile. I hoped it was comforting. "She... She came and," I paused, thinking of how to explain it, before saying, "And just... led me here. Besides," I added quickly, not wanting him to try and scold me in his current state of being, "You said to stay with Ao! E-Even if she wasn't there when you said it, you still said it, so... that's what I did. I... I stayed with Ao. A-And I was already freaking out about the possibility of you being hurt, s-so..." I swallowed and blinked, looking away for a brief moment before looking back at him. I awkwardly shrugged."Yeah. It... She was frantic and I-I remembered you saying you weren't feeling good, so... yeah. I... I followed her." Wow, I couldn't have explained that in a worse way, could I? Way to go, Irene.

I stared up at him, waiting for a response expectantly, but when he didn't even give a gesture or make a sound I began to panic.

"D-Don't just stare at me like that; tell me what's wrong so I can help! I-I don't know what to do! I'm here now, s-so... yeah! Just... Just tell me what to do!" Please, oh _please_ don't let his condition be anything serious. We don't have any medical supplies, so if it's really bad then he might... Blue might... _No._ No, I'm not thinking about it. Brain, shut up.

I watched as Blue's eyes finally seemed to clear, the male blinking and causing a few stray tears to fall. I reached up instinctively and wiped one off of his left cheek, keeping a firm hold of Ao with my other hand so she didn't fall. Blue seemed to still at my action despite his heavy breathing-which thankfully wasn't as bad as when I first saw him. His eyes were locked onto the back of my hand, and it was only when I moved to wipe the tears off of his other cheek did I realize my mistake. I quickly pulled my hand back, before flicking my wrist and letting the sleeve on my arm fall down to its full length and cover my hand. I placed Ao on my shoulder gently, the squirrel letting out a squeak as I did so, and I wrapped the extra cloth around my hand before reaching up and finishing what I was doing. You could just barely see the red soaking into the brown of my kimono. I pulled away once I was done and tried for a smile, saying, "There. Much better." The waterworks were cleaned up.

I then cuddled Ao with both my hands again, the two of us just looking up at Blue expectantly. I was still waiting for an answer to my previous question. When the silence didn't end I began to wonder why he was staring at me like he was, only to then notice that his breathing was almost completely back to normal. I knitted my eyebrows together, Ao letting out a small questioning squeak as we both examined the male in front of us.

"Are your eyes still hurting?" He didn't seem like he was in much pain anymore. His jaw wasn't clenched together either. His shoulders were more relaxed. He just seemed... _upset_ at this point. "Blue?"

"..." After a moment he shook his head. "It's... gone now." I heaved a sigh of relief, though I questioned how he got better so quickly. He looked like he was about to claw his eyes out ten minutes ago. Or maybe it was five? I didn't bother looking at my watch. Time just seemed to fly when things like this happened-which usually _didn't_ happen unless it was the other way around and _I_ was the one who was sick or injured. He just enjoys giving me heart attacks, doesn't he? Then again, it's my fault I freak out so badly...

"...Jeez... What am I gonna do with you, Blue?" He frowned, but didn't say anything as he pushed himself up into a more comfortable sitting position. His legs remained on either side of me, but at least he wasn't leaning uncomfortably against the wall anymore. He made a small gasping sound when he saw the fur behind him fall down to the ground. As if just realizing he wasn't wearing his mask he raised a hand up to his face, looking around.

Knowing what he was looking for I picked the mask off the ground with my left hand and held it up to him, suppressing a cold chill when my sleeve fell down to my elbow.

"Here."

He stared at it. I watched as he made to grab it with both hands, only to let out a shout of protest when he suddenly grabbed my wrist, his left hand holding onto the mask. He pulled me forward, yanking my hand towards him and turning it so he could stare at the back of it and at the still-bleeding wound. "...en?"

"What?"

"When did this happen?" Oh. Can I finally complain now since you're no longer in excruciating and possibly unbearable pain? Is that a thing I'm allowed to do now?

Suddenly feeling the stinging, burning pain on my right hand I cringed and struggled to get my sleeve off of the wound, suppressing a whine when I couldn't because my other hand was held captive. It's not easy doing things one-handed, regardless of whether it's your dominant or not! Blue seemed to notice my struggle and set the mask down (quite surprising, actually) and helped me with my sleeve despite my protests that I could do it myself. Next thing I knew he was holding both hands, careful not to touch the wounds. "It-It happened when I tripped. You know I'm a klutz."

"..." I really hate it when he gives me that look. Like, "I know you're lying, why are you bothering"?

"What?" Don't give in, don't give in-Irene, do _not_ give in to that look! You are strong! Being passive submissive does _not_ mean you can't hold out! Lying is usually against your morals, but if you tell him how it happened Blue will feel bad! Do you really want to see that man upset again, especially after he only just recovered from whatever mystical illness he just had!?

Speaking of that, how _did_ he recover? He looked like-well, you know what he looked like. I guess I should just be grateful that he's not in anymore pain.

"D-Don't look at me like that..." He just remained staring, not tearing his gaze away from mine. It felt like he was looking straight into my soul, unrelenting his judgment or gaze. "You know I hurt myself all the time! I walked into a wall earlier trying to get here, and then I tripped and I think I scraped my knees-I know I scraped my hands though, and I fell multiple times after that! S-So... yeah." Maybe I could blabber my way out of the situation?

"Irene..." I knew I couldn't.

I didn't really want to, but I ended up breaking. His eyes were too intense. I felt exposed and vulnerable with them boring into my my own. "It... It happened when I pushed you against the wall, o-okay?" My voice went up in pitch and I flinched, mentally apologizing as I continued, "T-They were stuck between you and the wall and I lost balance and you slid and I fell down, too, and I got a-a-a wall burn or whatever you wanna call it! I-It's not like it even matters, right?" He blinked, surprised. "It's just a small cut-" He shook his head and lifted my hands up, as if trying to get me to look at them.

"Not... small." They were still bleeding.

"They'll _heal_ ," I argued and tried to pull them away, but he had a firm grip. He was being stubborn again.

You know, I really don't understand how our conversations work. If he's hurt, I'll freak out about him, but then he'll find something wrong with _me_ and then he'll start freaking out, and then I'll try to turn the conversation back against him, and it's just this never-ending cycle of blaming and trying to make the other person feel better.

...Definitely the first time I had a friendship like this. Maybe it's because we're both worrywarts? Whatever the case I held my tongue when Blue gave me a sad look and softly said that I needed to be more careful. I only spoke up when he started to blame himself for the injury, as I refused to let my- _our_ , Ao is part of this as well-precious cinnamon roll blame himself and become even more self-loathing than before.

"Stop that." He gave me a blank expression, his eyes showing his confusion. "No self-deprecation. That's my job. I haven't rented it away yet." He frowned. "I saw that look, Blue, no hiding it! And no lying, either! I won't lie if you won't lie, okay? So don't go blaming yourself! It's simply because I-that I lost my grip on you. That's not your fault."

"..."

"You're doing it again."

"...So are you."

Oh god-see! See! There it is! The conversation turner! He turns the conversation to me and then I have to turn the focus back on him! "Yeah. But I admit it. But that's not what we're talking about here. We're talking about this," I wiggled my fingers, using my index fingers to point at my blood knuckles as best as I could, "and how I got them. And I'm saying it's not your fault. So no blaming yourself. Okay? Now-tell me what happened. How'd you get that bad? Oh! And what happened with the intruder?"

 _Wow_ , being here really changed me. You think I'd still be bothered at the idea that I was friends with a guy who killed people. But he also saves people, so that kinda makes up for the dark factor-regardless of it being self-defense or not.

"I... stopped her from... being taken deeper underground." I blinked, watching as Blue lowered our hands so they weren't high up in the air. A troubled look crossed his face as his eyebrows knit together. I looked down at our hands when I felt him tighten his hold, shaking a little. "I... Something..." He closed his eyes, before suddenly leaning forward and wrapping his arms around me, his face buried in the curve of my neck against my shoulder. "She did something..." His voice wavered and it was then that I realized Blue was scared.

I've seen him sad, I've seen him confused and surprised, I've even occasionally seen him mad, but I don't think I ever really seen him scared. I've only just gotten a smile out of him this morning.

Today is full of events, isn't it? I awkwardly reached up and slid my arms out from Blue's hold, wrapping them around his shoulders as I avoided getting blood on him. "What... What she'd do?" Did she hurt him? I swear to god, if she hurt him I will hunt her down and-

...I don't know what I'd do. I'm not a violent person in general. Probably threaten her at most. Try to scare her. We'll find out when the time comes.

"Did she hurt you?"

"...I... don't know." His voice cracked. "I don't _know!_ " My eyes widened when he raised his voice. "She... I touched her and then these... these _voices_ they-" I placed a hand on the back of his head, petting it and running my fingers gently through his hair in an attempt to comfort him as he trembled. Blue rarely spoke this much. He never rose his voice except once when he demanded if the villagers were the ones who hurt me. What was his name-Ko-ta? Ko-je? Something like that. That was the only time Blue had risen his voice. And now... "She..."

His hold tightened, his arms wrapped tightly around my waist and lowerback. His chin was resting on my shoulder at this point. "Yeah?" I asked softly.

Blue was silent for so long I thought he was never going to answer. Heck, he's been through so much today I wouldn't of been surprised if he just passed out here and now. "...I'm scared." What? "I'm scared..."

"Blue?" This was unlike him. I mean, I understand it-he's going through a lot, his emotions are all over the place; it doesn't mean I'm used to it or not startled. I pulled away, hands on his shoulders, and was more than a little alarmed to see that he was crying again. What was this-break down number 3? Four? I get it though. I can't judge him; I cry even more than he does. "H-Hey, it's okay-" He shook his head frantically, opening his mouth to say something but the words dying on his tongue. I stiffened when I felt his fingers grab tightly onto my kimono, even digging into my skin a little.

His face was close to mine, so close that our noses were almost touching. This was, of course, because he was leaning down and I had only pulled away a few inches. "You don't feel it?" I gazed up at him in confusion, ignoring the sudden burning feel on the left side of my face.

"Feel what?"

He shook his head, closing his eyes as his lips curled back. He didn't seem to know how to explain what he was talking about. "You're... a Brown Dragon." I frowned, knitting my eyebrows together as I tried to figure out where he was going with this. We had discussed a few days ago that it was only because of my odd facial marking that Blue thought I was some sort of Dragon-like how I had thought he was one, though I ended up correct... somehow... and that he was just imagining things. I mean, I don't have any fancy dragon eyes or blue hair-I don't even have magic powers. I'm just... me. Plain ol' me.

Still, I kept quiet. I let Blue finish.

"I..." He took a shaky breath and opened his eyes. "I saw... a White Dragon."

"...White Dragon?" Blue Dragon, Brown Dragon, White Dragon-not to sound mean or anything, but are there going to be Green Dragons and Black Dragons? Yellow, Red, Purple... God, I need to stop being so cynical. This is what happens when you have a headache folks. You turn into a world-renowned jerk. Be nice, Irene. "What do you mean "White Dragon"?" He shook his head before hugging me again, needing something to cling onto.

"..know. I don't know... Something is... happening to me... a-and I... don't know..."

"-what?" I finished. I felt him nod. Feeling my heart ache I pulled away and cupped his face, making him look at me. He blinked as more tears fell, their course being blocked by my fingers. I rubbed some away with my thumbs, caressing his cheek, before locking eyes with him and saying as firmly as I could as I myself tried to believe it, "It's going to be okay." But I don't know that. Blue knew that, too, but he seemed to cling onto those words as he closed his eyes. I brought a finger up and brushed a tear off of the edge of his eye just as it fell before cupping his cheek again and leaning forward, lifting my head up with closed eyes as I planted a kiss on his forehead.

If there was just more that I could do to help... If there was just some way to make him feel better...

I'd do anything.

The kiss lasted longer than it should've, my lips lingering against his forehead a little too long, but by the time I pulled away I felt drained. Weakened and exhausted. My heart was suddenly racing so fast and loud I thought it was going to burst, but after a few moments it calmed down and I fell forward, collapsing against Blue with my head on his shoulder. He was still, stunned, but he was breathing easier now.

 _"Through darkness you came, by light you will stay. It is your duty to serve our king and guide him, to help him along his path. This is your duty as the adviser."_

I could hear voices. One female and one distinctly male.

"...did you do?" Blue asked, voice low and shaky. "What did you _do_?" Too much... it hurts...

I could hear the voices grow louder. I heard Blue inhale sharply before setting me on the ground, the sounds of bells ringing, and something warm and soft get thrown over me. I heard Ao squeak and felt her jump on top of the fur that was now covering me.

"...Don't come out." Blue muttered. I felt his hand on my side, but then he removed it and there was the noise of metal clinking. I briefly wondered if he was unsheathing his sword, but I tried to not to think as it hurt too much. My eyes were closed, so all I could see was the darkness, but in that darkness I saw a man.

One in black and orange, with light brown hair tied back and russet eyes. He looked quite feminine, but also unwell. He was holding something, but what it was I couldn't make out. He also appeared to be saying something, but the way his lips were moving didn't match up at all with the words I was hearing. Words that just grew louder as my blood boiled and burned, as if it were acid rushing through my veins, the marking near-identical to the stranger's feeling like it was on fire.

 _"You will love the Crimson Dragon King and stay by his side_ _through_ _all acts. As my embodiment, you shall guide him past the darkness and the light, and only through this shall you help him prosper."_

I could make out a few words, but it made me grow light-headed and nauseous. _...no longer. Pain... takes... toll...? Break?_ I felt like I was going to throw up. I could hear footsteps. Blue let out an angry, scared sounding roar. A female then spoke, her voice sweet and strangely alluring, saying that she had come a long way to find him. I could barely breathe. My heart felt like it was being pulled out of my chest.

 _"You will stay forever by his side as his most trusted friend and comrade. You are the symbol of his growth. You will be the healer of his pain, the user of words to take away the shadows that start to cover his heart."_

"My name is Yona."

 _"That is your duty!"_

 **...Yay for cliches! XD Most people don't really like cliches, but seven chapters in and you guys are still sticking with me. Then again, I didn't exactly hide what Irene was. XD**

 **I rewrote this at least ten times and I'm still slightly unsatisfied. Oh well. Here's a cliffhanger. Mwahahahaha~!**


	8. Just Another Break Down

I felt like a ragdoll, unable to move and only able to lay there hidden underneath the fur and listen to the conversation that slowly took place. My head throbbed violently, the tattoo on my face burning as my blood boiled and flowed through my veins in reverse. I wondered why this was happening-why the sound of that woman's voice caused me to react in a such a crazy, abnormal way. It was almost as if her voice was poison, yet at the same time a sweet allure that beckoned me towards her.

Luckily my body wasn't really functioning at the moment, the most movement I was able to do being to move my head, so I didn't actually get up and head towards her.

"What's your name?" The woman, Yona she called herself, asked. My heart pounded painfully in my chest, almost a bit like a dull throb. I wondered why her voice sounded so familiar-it was definitely the same voice that had screamed earlier, but something about it made me feel like I actually _heard_ her speak before. Like I met her sometime in the past.

But I know I didn't. Which was scary...

It made me wonder if this was the same thing Blue went through just minutes ago. What's he's probably going through right now. A different ache formed in my chest at the thought and I breathed heavily, dizzy.

"Blue... Dragon..." He responded, sounding very unsure and confused. _Cautious._

"That's not your _name_ , is it?" She said, and I couldn't help but find this conversation rather familiar. "Your title, but not what you're called."

For a moment, I thought he wasn't going to respond. I honestly half-expected him to send her away. Instead what he said surprised me. "Blue. I'm... called Blue."

"Blue...? For Blue Dragon?"

"..." There was the ringing of bells. I assumed he nodded.

"But... that isn't a name." Of course it wasn't a name. _Anything I'd come up with would sound ridiculous. I'm sorry, but "Bob" or "George" just doesn't suit him. Maybe something like "Tsukito" or "Ryouta", but even then I still don't think it would fit him, not to mention how I doubt he'd want me out of anyone else to name him. I'm amazed he even told her that he was called "Blue"._ "I want to know your _name,_ " Yona stressed, "The one you were given at birth." _He doesn't have one, silly. If he did, I think he would have told both of us by now._

"I... don't have a name. Just... Blue."

"I see..." She said, sounding sad, and suddenly the annoyance I felt got instantly replaced with concern, giving me a strong urge to crawl out from underneath the fur and hug her. My fingers twitched in response to the feeling and I dug them into the ground, scraping my fingertips. "Then is it alright if I call you that?"

 _You can't... That's... my nickname for him. You can't..._ My eyes stung and I could feel a brief pain in the tips of my fingers as my nails clawed into the ground, wishing they had something to cling onto. I felt utterly pathetic, unable to move or even speak, and a jerk for being so selfish. I wanted to stop this conversation. I wanted to tell that girl-regardless of these... _emotions_ she seemed to be bringing on with her very presence-to go away and leave us alone. Because, if she had come all this way to _find_ Blue, surely that meant she planned on taking him away with her? But... if he went with her then that would mean he wouldn't have to deal with all the hate. He wouldn't be confined to this dark, lonely place desolate of people and affection. She... _She's not scared of him._

That meant... there was a chance Blue could be happy. If he went with this... _girl_... then he wouldn't have to put up with me, or the villagers, or all the cruel outsiders, and would get to see the sun. Funny how wondrous a thought that is to me considering how much I used to loath going outside, but Blue hadn't left this place in years... nearly the entirety of his life. I can't... keep him here. I don't _want_ to keep him here.

All I want is to stay by his side. But if he goes with her... then he'll leave me behind. Why on earth would he bring me with him when all I am is a nuisance?

"No?" I heard Yona ask after a few long moments of silence. She sounded both surprised and confused. I wondered if I missed part of the conversation, or if she was just responding to her earlier question of what to call him. _Probably a different question... it's not like I told him to not let anyone else call him "Blue"._ It's not even that special a nickname, really; I just had nothing else to call him...

A shock ran through my body and down my spine at a sudden scream, footsteps loud and clear as the sound of metal swung through air.

"Princess!" The female's companion cried out in horror. I wondered if Blue had attacked her, feeling my heart miss a few beats as a sickly feeling formed in my stomach. I held my breath as I listened intently for any telltale signs that the female was still alive. A sharp gasp caught my attention along with Blue's heavy breathing. Wait, "Princess"? Were the two a couple? I shook the thought away and focused on the conversation at hand.

"Stay back!" I stiffened, breath locked in my throat with the voice I lacked. "Who _are_ you people!?" Blue was yelling. And he sounded scared. So, _so_ very scared. "Why..." His voice trembled as he spoke, lowering to a whisper before rising again. "Why have you come to this village? Why are you approaching me!?"

My heart ached for an entirely different reason now than before. More than anything at the moment I wanted to pull him aside, to hug him and tell him once more that everything would be okay. Maybe I was being stupid... thinking this way... but just _hearing_ how upset he was felt like a bullet to the chest. He barely even had time to recover before all of this started to happen. And my sudden becoming a limp noodle wasn't much of a help either; it was probably just putting more stress on him. He had to cover me up with the fur again just to hide me from view...

 _Why is he still trying to protect me in his current state!?_ I don't get it. I-I really don't... It would have been easier to just leave me in plain view, but he still took the time to throw the fur on me to hide me and was standing in front of my form even now. _He's hurting, he's scared, and he's still protecting me._ Why? I'm not important. So _why_ is he doing this when I can't even help him? Why...

Blue's voice trembled, the male probably even shaking at this point, as he asked, "Why...? Why is that White Dragon..." His voice cracked as he trailed off. While this happened I tried to move my hands themselves, rather than just my fingers. They felt numb, but I did get a small twitch. _Move, Irene. If something happens you have to **move**. _ And if that girl and her friend leaves and Blue is still upset you have to get up and hug him! So _move!_

I was able to slide my arms over a little and wiggle my toes, but I limited the amount of movement I tried to make so it didn't draw attention. I _think_ I should at the very least be able to stand now, even if it might be hard to get up.

"Why are you _here_?"

"I told you," I heard the female say, my heart just pounding louder and more painfully at her words, "I came a long way to meet you." I felt some of the breath I had been holding escape, fear taking hold of me once more as all scenarios-good and bad-began to run through my mind. "Blue Dragon... I want you to lend me your power."

 _No... No, you can't ask him to do that!_ Horror pierced my heart as I thought about what Blue could possibly be thinking about.

"My... power?" All those bad memories... Asking him to leave with her was one thing, but _this_ is something entirely different. I didn't even bring that up and when I did I only really mentioned how he could see far away. I still don't understand how he could have done that, how... _magic_ or curses were real, and it's even harder to imagine someone as nice as Blue doing something like that to so many people. It was even worse because he himself gets affected by it, and in more ways than one.

Then all of a sudden he screamed, voice full of fear and anger. His furious roar was mixed with another cry, female and scared. "Enemy!" Blue claimed. He sounded completely breathless and I found myself paralyzed to the spot once more. "Those who desire the power of the Blue Dragon... are enemies!"

 _That's why._ The timing of the realization was horrible, but that's why Blue didn't kill me when we first met. If I had been one of the people going after him, who had desired to use him and sell him, or just cause him harm, he would have killed me then. _If I was anyone else... I would be dead again._ My heart wasn't quite sure how to feel at this point. Too many emotions were running through at once, trying to take hold, and I was certain it was ready to give out from stress. A part of me, a huge part, wanted to break down into tears and sob, to curl up into a ball and hide forever in the darkness beneath the fur I was under, but a smaller part-the logical part-kept me from doing so.

I would be found out if I began to wail like a baby and I didn't want to cause any more problems for Blue. He has enough to deal with as is.

 _But... is he going to kill her?_ For some reason I really didn't want that to happen. Maybe because I was just against violence in general, or maybe it's because something about that girl-that girl whose face I don't even know or have seen-that made me want to let her live, but the very thought of her death sent this crushing weight down onto my heart. _I don't know her..._ So why is the thought of her death so painful!? Why should I care?

I shouldn't care about her, I shouldn't care about the villagers, I shouldn't care about anyone else that comes into the caves. The only person I should be concerned about is Blue.

"Just _who are you!?_ I don't... _know_ you, so why...?"

Through the shakiness of my breaths I could hear him speak. He sounded so broken, so confused... and honestly, I think I felt the same. The questions he was asking were all things that I wanted to know as well. I found myself pulling on my hair, trying to cover my ears with my wrists as I fought against tears. _I should only care about Blue. He's the only one who matters now._ I don't want to care about anyone else. Him and Ao... are my important person and squirrel.

"Blue Dragon... I am _not_ your enemy." Liar. You want to use him. You want to use him and steal him away for profit. And once you're done with what you need him for, you'll get rid of him. It's how you people work! Don't... _lie_.

Though, regardless of what my mind told me, I still felt like she was telling the truth.

"I am looking for the Four Dragons and the Adviser so that my comrades and I can survive."

 _"It is your duty to serve our King and guide him, to help him along his path. This is your duty as the adviser."_

No... No, get that voice out of my head! I don't want to hear it! So what if I have a dragon tattoo on my face? It's not like I have any special powers; I'm not a dragon like Blue thinks. I'm _me_. Boring, old, crazy me. I don't even have blue hair! Blue's a dragon, which means if I'm a dragon I would have naturally blue hair.

 _But he's a BLUE dragon._ Didn't he say I was a brown? _But most of the people I... Brown hair is very common! It could just be a coincidence. I don't go exhaling fire every time I breathe, do I?_

What, so he does?

 _Shut up, brain. I'm not a freaking dragon. I don't have slits for pupils, thank you very much, and I don't have fangs. I'm not a Vampire._

His teeth aren't _that_ long. They do look quite pointy though.

 _Why am I arguing about this?_ I opened my eyes and stared blankly in front of me, furrowing my eyebrows in confusion. I then grew mad at myself, upset at my idiocy. _Pay attention to the conversation!_

"I want to welcome you as an ally," She said, voice sounding surprisingly gentle and warm. It calmed me, yet at the same time just put me more on edge. She wanted to use Blue for her own gain, asking him to lend her his power without even knowing of the pain his memories hold for him. I mean, I don't really understand either as something like that never happened to me, but she was asking without even knowing that he had such a past. _Then again, it's not like they even met before so how COULD she know? Stupid Irene._ I inhaled deeply, freezing only when she asked the question I was most dreading. "Will you come with me?"

The silence was unbearable, and the only thing I was able to hear was the beating of my own heart.

He's going to say "yes". He has no reason to stay other than his own fear of himself. Even then it probably won't hold him back. If I was him I would take the opportunity to leave this dark place, to find somewhere brighter and happier to stay. Maybe then... maybe then he'd stop hating himself. He could show his face freely and not have to hide behind that mask he wears. I certainly wouldn't stay in a place full of people who hate me if I was in his shoes. He has no reason to stay.

He won't have to eat bugs or seeds, or have to sleep on a cold, hard cave floor. He'd get to eat real food and have an actual place to sleep. He won't be alone either-Ao would go with him without a second thought, and I-

...I'd just be a burden again. So... unless he wants me to go with him, I'll stay. _I'll probably get killed by the villagers, or even starve to death, but..._ He deserves to be happy. He'd like her as a friend more than me anyway-she sounds so warm and kind... she even _sounds_ beautiful. I don't really swing that way and yet my heart's pounding at the sound of her voice. _I'm sure he'd be happier with her..._ Just because it seems like he thinks of me as a good friend, it doesn't mean he really sees me that way. He just trusts me, that's all. I'm not anyone too important to him. He's my best friend, but that doesn't necessarily make me his. I'm fairly certain that position belongs to Ao. _Jealous of a squirrel. Sounds about right._ I held back a depressed sigh, having only upset myself further, before I suddenly froze.

"I'm... cursed, so..."

I felt like hitting my head against the ground. _I knew it! I knew he'd say that! Why did I get so far into my thoughts!? Damn it, Blue!_ You'll only be unhappy here. Even though I know it's stupid... I really feel like you'll be happy if you go with that girl. So please stop hating yourself for five minutes... _No. No, why am I doing this? Why am I getting so many mixed emotions here!? Blue! My thoughts should be on Blue! I know nothing about that girl! For all I know she could secretly be a murderer or sell people for slaves or something!_ Oh god, what if she tries to turn Blue into a sex slave?

A horrible memory of when I read part of _Fifty Shades of Grey_ came into mind. Specifically about the "contract". He may not be female, but just as many equally bad things can be done to him.

 _Noooooooo! I REFUSE TO LET THAT HAPPEN TO BLUE! HE'S TOO INNOCENT AND PURE!_

I take it back... I take it all back. I don't want him to go with this girl! She sounds all nice and sweet, but she could be a real demon! Why the heck was I even thinking of letting him go with her? We don't even _know_ her! So why does it feel like I can trust her without even seeing her face? Is it because of the tone of her voice, the way she speaks? Or... is it because that in all the time I've spent here... she's the only other person who doesn't seem to be afraid of Blue? Who doesn't... _sound_ like she wants to hurt him. Maybe it's wishful thinking, but I... I really want her to be a good person.

I felt a little numb, but I still tried to listen as Blue explained his reasoning. "It's a destructive power," He told her, "No outsider... can know about it." No outsiders... nobody other than him and the villagers. And yet... _I_ know. And because of that my life was attempted. Even if I'm not an enemy, I was still an outsider. Was it simply because he wanted company or...?

No. Blue isn't someone who would give in to selfish desires. So why? Because I called him a friend? But even before then he still had plenty of chances to kick me out. He even said once that I should leave, but he never actually _did_ anything about it. He completely avoided my questions about when I should leave and just kept saying the same thing over and over. So why? Why keep me here with him when I'm nothing more than a burden?

But if I wasn't here... if I had died when I was supposed to... then Blue would still be all alone with only Ao for company. Trapped in this suffocating darkness by himself... If I was him I would have gone mad a long time ago if I lived like this for years on end all by myself.

"Destructive?" The girl asked in alarm. "Who told you that?" Her voice was gentle and disbelieving. I bit back a grudging remark, wanting to tell her that it was the villagers' fault. I remembered all their reactions to Blue-how scared they were and how they'd break down into tears if he got too close. How their legs would give out and how they'd tremble. How they'd run away as fast as they could when they accidentally bumped into him when chasing me down... _All he does is help and all they do is hate..._ Despite everything that I told him, Blue still believes himself to be the beast and the villagers the mountain prey he tries so hard not to feast upon.

"...It's the truth." But it's not. You aren't a beast. You aren't a monster. Why won't you just believe me? "I'm not... going to use my eyes' power... ever again." He's so haunted, so scarred by his past. But how could he not be? All these years he's been alone. _Scared_ and alone... with nobody to lean on.

"So... you're saying you won't come? No matter what?"

A heavy silence filled the room, broken only by the sound of Blue's soft voice. "Leave."

"What?"

He raised his voice, speaking louder and much more clearly. " _Leave._ "

"...Princess," The girl's companion spoke, almost sounding like a warning, "I think we should go."

The girl didn't speak, but you could hear the sounds of footsteps fading away. As the sounded got more distant the pain in my chest grew stronger and more intense.

 _Don't go,_ I found myself pleading. My eyes burned with tears that had long since fallen. I struggled to sit up, clawing to get the fur off of me, and I gasped and breathed loudly as I forced myself up onto my knees. My foot screamed at me, an indescribable pain shooting up my leg from my ankle, but I ignored it and turned my head, looking up to stare at Blue. I tried to stand, clamping my mouth shut and grounding my teeth together as I fought against a scream. I wobbled, but made my way forward with an outstretched hand.

I was just about to grab his arm when the world suddenly went dark, my legs giving out before me. I think I screamed, but I honestly didn't remember.

The only thing I could recall was an arm wrapping around me and a boy crying out about a ghost.

* * *

When I awoke the two people were gone and I was in Blue's lap, the male holding me closely to him. I groaned, head throbbing painfully, and groggily opened my eyes. "...Blue?" He gave a soft, barely audible gasp and quickly leaned forward, pressing my face against his chest. "Wh-What happened?"

There were... two people. I was hiding and... then what?

"You... fainted," He said quietly. "How are you feeling?" I blinked, then yawned and lifted a hand, pressing it lightly against my forehead.

"I'm fine. Just got another headache. You?" My chest does seem to hurt quite a bit though. Wasn't there just a girl here earlier?

 _Ba-Dump. Ba-Dump._

Ow... Each beat hurts more than the last, like someone's trying to physically tear my heart out of my chest. I waited for Blue to respond, but he remained silent. "Blue...?"

"Do you... want to leave?"

"What?" Where'd that come from? Suddenly all the memories of what happened came rushing back to me and I flinched, growing incredibly dizzy. "No, I-I already told you- I'm not leaving you. Unless you hate me. Wait, _do_ you want me to leave!?" I panicked. I tried to rack my brain for what I did to upset him, but the only thing I could think of was when he had to hide me again and when I blacked out.

Blue shook his head frantically. "I... I want..." He hesitated, having trouble getting the words out. I watched, curious and yet fearful of what his next words were going to be. _Was he saying "No, I don't hate you" or "No, I don't want you to leave"?_ I pondered, staring up at him with a worried look. "I want you... to..." I waited patiently despite my fear, wanting to know what he was going to say. I don't think I ever heard him use "want" in a sentence that was referring to himself before. "I want you... to..."

"...To?" I encouraged, despite knowing he could very well be telling me to leave. "What do you want me to do, Blue?"

His hold tightened and he brought me closer to him, surprising me. "I want you to... stay... with me." I stared up at him with wide eyes, but his face was turned away so he wasn't looking at me. I felt my face heat up a little and I awkwardly lifted a weak arm, it having been resting against my chest, and I pat Blue on the head best as I could. He paused, startled.

"W-Well, there ya go. I'm not leaving. Where you go I go, okay?" I laughed lightly and removed my hand from his head, instead stiffly wrapping my arm around his shoulder and noting how he had the fur attached to his mask again. Blue turned his head and looked down at me, and I tried for a closed-eye three second smile. My eyes then snapped open, startled at the feeling of his lips against my forehead. His scent then hit me at full force, just as it always did whenever we were this close to each other.

It was a delightful, amazing smell. It was the smell of the earth, a given because of the environment, but also something else that I wasn't able to name. Whatever it was smelled wonderful though-almost intoxicating. _Oh god, do I sound weird? I think I sound weird. But it's impossible not to smell him when he's this close! When you breathe you smell and you have to breathe to live, so therefore I'm not being weird! ...Am I?_

I wondered why I was even having this conversation with myself, only to snap out of it when Blue pulled away. My forehead tingled from where he kissed it, just reminding me what his lips felt like there.

 _...Definitely being weird,_ I concluded, biting the inside of my cheek as I fought against the redness that was surely covering my face. _Blue's just a friend,_ I thought, blaming it on hormones and the fact that I was a teenage girl who _never_ , and I repeat _never_ , been so close or intimate with a guy like this in my whole life. Hell, I freaking cuddle up to him at night because of how cold it gets! He and Ao are my cuddle-buddies. _Agh, calm down, Irene. You're overreacting._ I breathed in deeply and heaved a sigh, mumbling.

"I'm exhausted..." Saying that I removed my arm from his shoulder and hugged both of my arms to my chest, resting my head against Blue's shoulder as I closed my eyes. "Talk about a long day..."

"...Yeah."

A sudden shaking woke me up, rocks tumbling off the ceiling. I yelped when a small one hit me on the head and practically flew out of Blue's lap, shrieking and crying out as I tried to figure out what was going on. "A-An earthquake!?" What the heck!? "G-Gah-!" Knowing I wouldn't be able to move in time, legs still so weak and foot too injured, I covered my head with my hands and waited for the inevitable, still kneeling on the floor. Feeling a shadow cover me I tentatively opened my eyes, fear and adrenaline rushing through my veins as the sounds of falling rocks kept hitting my ears. "What are you doing!?" My voice went high in pitch, loud and scared. Rubble was on Blue's back from when he took the blow. "You idiot, get out of the way!"

His mouth opened in surprise and he gasped when I suddenly grabbed his shoulder with one hand and the lapel of his leather jacket with my other, the shaking of the ground helping to knock him off balance and onto the ground beside me. Without wasting another second, shouting when a rock scraped my bad side, I climbed on top of him and wrapped an arm around his shoulders, using my other to cradle his head to my chest to keep any rocks from cracking his skull open. I was crying, I knew that much, and it hurt badly every time another rock landed on me, but I didn't want Blue to get hurt. I didn't want him to get hurt because of me, or because of the earthquake, or because of _anything_.

I wanted him safe.

He wasn't able to move, the shaking too much to handle along with my weight, so all he could do was lift his head as he tried to look at me.

The earthquake didn't last much longer, but when it did I knew I was bleeding in multiple places and sustaining multiple bruises and cuts. My foot wasn't in any better shape, probably broken rather than sprained at this point, but it was worth it. For a long moment I didn't pull away, scared that the earthquake would continue, before I slowly released him. I looked down at Blue, asking with a smile, "Y-You okay down there?"

He was silent. Blue's lips were tilted down in a frown. He was clearly upset.

I blinked when something red dripped onto his face and I quickly wiped it off, sitting up and looking up at the ceiling as if I would see something. Then I realized that it came from me. I reached a hand up to my head, trying to find where I was hurt. I pulled myself off of Blue, still looking for the wound when I found it near my eyebrow. _Oh, gross. Ow._ I cringed and winced when I felt how long the wound was. It was about an inch.

A hand on the side of my face startled me and I jumped, about ready to fall backwards. Intense pain flared in my side and ankle, along with a few other small parts of my body, and I almost collapsed right there. I blinked, realizing Blue had placed an arm behind my back to catch me, and I looked up at him. "Hey." I greeted, before asking worriedly, "You okay? How's your back?" He just stared at me, informing me without words of how unhappy he was, and I found my confidence wavering and shrinking underneath his gaze. "S-Sorry..."

"Don't do that again." I blinked.

"Don't do what?" Sit in place while rocks are falling?

He frowned. "Don't... take the hit." He then stiffened, turning his head in the direction of another passageway. I stared, tilting my head slightly as I tried to follow his gaze.

"What do you see?" Why do I have the feeling that he's worried about the villagers? Speaking of- "Gah! Where's Ao!?" She completely vanished on us. Wait, she was here when the girl and her friend were in the cave, but... where is she now?

A sudden squeak caught my attention and I watched her poke her head out from inside Blue's fur, smiling and letting out a couple more chirps. I relaxed, smiling lightly at her.

"You're okay..." I sighed in relief. "Thank goodness..." They're both safe. My eyes suddenly widened and a squeak of my own escaped, my back arching on reflex when Blue's hand brushed against my lower back. He slid his arm underneath my legs and without any hesitation lifted me up in the air. "P-Put me down! I'm gonna fall!" I shrieked loudly, clinging onto Blue for dear life the second my feet left the ground. "Wh-What are you doing!?"

He started walking.

"H-Hey! W-Whoa!" He jumped over a small pile of rubble and I cried out, burying my face into his neck as I wrapped my arms around his shoulders. "D-Don't drop me!"

"...Are you... scared of heights?"

No, I'm just not too keen on falling! "M-Maybe... O-Okay, yes!" I shrieked again and buried my face deeper into his neck, "I'm sorry, please don't drop me!" It's not like I'm the only one scared of heights. "E-Everyone in my family's scared of heights, o-okay? It-it's just a thing that's passed down!" _Was_ , I reminded myself. _Was scared of heights. They're gone now. They're... no longer in my life._ My dad, my brother, my sisters, and even my mother. Funnily enough, I think my step-mom was scared of heights as well. "I'm sorry..."

God, I feel so lightheaded. I think my side wound reopened again. When the heck will that stupid thing heal?

 _I think a rock hit it..._ Slowly I began to calm down, the adrenaline brought on by the earthquake wearing off. Blue's heartbeat echoed in my ears and I found myself relaxing against him, no longer afraid. _He won't drop me... Blue won't hurt me._

"Irene..."

"Yeah...?" I murmured, not pulling my face away from his neck.

"...Don't come out."

I lifted my head up at his words, staring at him in confusion. "Whattya mean?" I blinked and cried out, merely holding onto him tighter when he knelt down, before hesitantly releasing him when he set me down. Closing my left eye as his hand gently brushed my left cheek as he pushed my overgrown bangs out of the way I asked, "Where're you going?" His hand cupped my cheek and as he stared down at me I knew he was looking at the wound on my face. Thankfully it stopped bleeding for now, but I knew it wouldn't last long without proper treatment. Treatment we couldn't get. "Blue?" My eyes closed instinctively when he leaned forward, placing one more kiss against my forehead and pulling away. "Blue!" I reached a hand out, grabbing onto his own just as he started to stand and turn away.

He paused, looking down at me curiously. I bit my bottom lip, nervous, before squeezing his hand and saying,

"Be... Be careful, okay? If you get hurt or... or if something happens I'm coming after you."

His mouth opened, as if about to say something, before he closed it and nodded. I reluctantly released his hand, momentarily missing the warmth and his gentle touch, before watching him walk away and vanish into the room ahead. I felt empty.

Then, with his words ringing in my mind, I forced myself to stand and in doing so I held back a bloodcurdling scream. It felt like that in the inside of my leg were needles being shot off in every direction, stabbing and piercing my foot all over. I leaned against the wall, breathing heavily as tears welled up in my eyes, keeping what weight I could off of my foot. I resorted to hopping, hearing people talk, and peeked into the room from the dark corner I was hiding in. It was surprisingly hard to breathe, making me wonder if an exit to the outside was cut off. A spike of fear hit my heart as I thought of not being able to breathe again.

But then my attention was caught by bells. I turned my head, only to have my eyes widen at the sight of Blue approaching a terrified, trembling villager. Oddly enough all the villagers in the room except for the one were wearing masks. But why? _Is to hide Blue's existence?_ I narrowed my eyes, feeling a slight twinge of anger at the thought.

"I-I wasn't talking to the outsiders," The villager promised, backing away as Blue got nearer. "I-I didn't tell them anything! S-So please... s-spare me!" I wondered why Blue was still walking towards him. Normally he would have stopped by now unless...

Did he want to check for injuries?

" _Uwaaah! Stop it!_ "

My eyes widened in horror when Blue's mask was sent sailing through the air. With a loud thud it hit the ground, and then the next thing I knew I was standing in front of Blue protectively, my arms held out to the side as I screamed at the man who smacked him, "Leave him _alone!_ He didn't do anything to you!"

The villager collapsed, his legs giving out before him, and he stared up at me in alarm and fear. "Y-You... You're that girl..." I gave him a look of confusion, wondering why he looked so familiar, when I realized he was one of my attackers. "Why aren't you dead!?"

With an indignant huff I stood up a bit straighter, still keeping my arms out. "'Cause you failed to kill me. Think that's pretty obvious." G-God, why are there so many people? I-I can't... there are too many... Risking a glance I turned my head and looked up at Blue, seeing him stare down at me. "Wh-What? I said if something happened I'd come out, didn't I!?"

"..."

"Don't give me that look!"

I could feel all eyes on us, many of them frightened and confused. "Wh-What are you doing, you stupid woman!? Do you want to turn into stone!?" I blinked, turning my head to look at them over my shoulder, finding it rather hard to breathe at the moment, and said,

"What?" Didn't I already ask Blue that question already? About if his eyes would turn me to stone?

Another villager screamed, "He's come out to kill us all!"

Anger flared up in me and I reached out, grabbing Blue's sleeve and protesting, "He would not! Blue's only come out here to check if you were okay! If he wanted you dead he would have killed you ages ago! Blue's a nice person!"

"Monsters! They're both monsters!" Wh-What?

"Make sense!" I cried out.

"Listen to the girl!" A familiar voice shouted, "He's a good person. He _saved_ me; he wouldn't kill anybody without a reason!" Ignoring the sudden ache in my chest at her voice I waved my hands in the direction where the person spoke.

"Thank you!" I said loudly, very much annoyed at this point. I then looked around for the mask, limping over to grab it. "At least _somebody_ in this cave gets it!" I picked it up and awkwardly stood, wobbling a little as I tried to get my balance. I then limped back over, handing it to Blue who had closed his eyes. I puffed my cheeks out, exhaling, and said, "Ignore them, Blue. You _aren't_ a monster. _And_ ," I glared at the villagers, who shrunk back at my one-eyed gaze, "last time I checked, I was completely human, too! So shove off!" Go away. Just go away. It's too much. I-I can't...

Try and breathe. Try and breathe. Breathe Irene. Just breathe. It's not that hard. In and out.

I don't know how much longer I can do this. All these people...

A sudden wave of calmness washed over me when I felt a familiar, comforting hand on my head. I turned and looked up at Blue, confused, before I looked down and started fiddling with my kimono sleeves. "I-I'm sorry... I-I came out when I wasn't... supposed to." Then I snapped my head up, adding, "But he tried to hurt you, and you never said I couldn't if that happened!"

"...You're injured." He stated, practically telling me that I should have stayed sitting on the ground. I then realized that the reason he carried me was _because_ of my ankle.

"So?" I asked, trying to keep my facade of confidence. "They'll heal."

We were left in a staring contest, one I was sure Blue was winning, and the tense silence was only broken by a stranger's voice asking, "What do you want, Blue Dragon?" He sounded defensive and just a little cold. "You have no intention of coming with us, correct?" Blue and I both turned to look at the newcomer, Blue removing his hand from my head and I moving to hide behind him as I clung to part of his sleeve with my thumb and forefinger.

 _White Dragon,_ I thought in alarm, seeing the delicate-faced male staring at us. His eyes were a bright blue, his hair a startling white with a fringe that covered the majority of the right side of his face. I think he had an undercut as well, for around his head his hair was cut short with much longer strands continuing beneath and stopping just below his shoulders.

"You and the Brown Dragon both..." I stiffened when his gaze turned to me, "I assume you are staying here as well? I'll admit, I am quite surprised to find that one of the Dragons are female-" He cut himself off and I watched in surprise when Blue suddenly knelt down and picked up a stray ax that was lying on the ground. I reached a hand out to grab him, but pulled back and stood there anxiously in silence as he started to make his way towards the man in white.

I know he wasn't going to hurt him, but... the thought is still there, isn't it?

A woman with incredibly bright red hair and a person who I _think_ was male made their way out of Blue's vision. My chest ached, my tattoo burning like fire, but I ignored it in favor to watch what was happening. Blue slowly raised the ax into the air, and fearing the worst I shrieked and flinched as he swung down.

The sound of metal hitting rocks pierced my ears and I slowly opened my eyes, hesitantly looking to see what happened. I then placed a hand to my chest and slumped over, sighing in relief when Blue continued to hack away at the wall. "Oh, Jesus..." The man in white looked completely flustered.

"You...! If you came to help us escape, why did you not say so!? I was in despair, thinking we Dragons would have to fight amongst ourselves!" I made my way over, hesitantly raising a hand and saying,

"Blue... doesn't talk much." The White Dragon jumped, I having appeared behind him, and whirled around to look down at me. I felt instantly intimidated and found myself taking a step back, flinching when pain flared up in my side. "S-Sorry! J-Just thought-"

"You..." He appeared to want to ask me something, but realizing that Blue was still hacking away at the wall he faced him instead and asked, "What... are you doing? The... The exit is that way." He pointed and I followed his gaze, seeing an exit blocked by rocks.

I was right. No wonder... it's so hard to breathe...

Blue stopped digging, turning his head to look at the...the White Dragon. "This... leads out. It's quicker to dig here."

"You should have mentioned that sooner!" He exclaimed and I found myself backing away again, alarmed by everything that was going on. He faced the red-haired woman from earlier, saying, "Princess, I will start digging now, so please wait patiently."

 _Ba-Dump. Ba-Dump. Ba-Dump._

"I'll dig, too!" She responded determinedly, before stealing a knife from one of the villagers. My heart stopped beating. "Let me borrow that."

 _Ba-Dump. Ba-Dump._

 _Th-They all have knives...?_ My eyes darted around the room, staring at all the villagers who were still gazing at Blue and I with fearful gazes. _I-It's not safe here..._

"You must not," The White Dragon responded sternly, "It is we, the Dragons, who have a duty to protect you!" Blue, hearing the White Dragon's words, turned his head and tilted it in confusion. "Give it to the Brown Dragon!"

 _Ba-Dump. Ba-Dump._

It took me a few seconds to realize who they were talking about. "Wh-What? No! I-I can't-I'm not a Dragon!"

"Don't lie to yourself!" I flinched at his words, taking another step back only to have jolts of pain shoot from my foot to the rest of my body. It took all I had not to collapse right then. "As a Dragon, I have the ability to sense another." His eyes were boring into me, feeling almost threatening even though it probably wasn't his intention. He raised his voice only slightly, but it still felt like he was yelling at me. "You are the Brown Dragon without a doubt! My senses would never fail me! Indeed it was hard to locate you at first, for it was not until we actually entered these caves that I could feel your presence, but you are the Brown Dragon! And that means we have to work together! We _must_ protect and serve the princess! It is our duty!"

"B-But I-" I don't want to hold the knife. I-I'll hurt someone. I'll hurt myself.

"It is our duty to help and protect her!" He insisted. I-I _can't-_

" _No!_ " I finally broke, breaking out into tears and curling into a ball with my hands pulling at the hair on my head. "Sh-Shut up! Shut up, shut up, shut up! Leave me alone!" I can't breathe, I can't breathe, too many people, there are too many people! " _I'm not!_ I can't-leave me alone!"

"Kija!" The female suddenly snapped, merely causing me cry harder. "Leave her alone!"

"I-I didn't mean to-"

"..."

"I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm so sorry," I was like a broken record, crying and muttering things on repeat, "I'm sorry." I'm sorry for being here, I'm sorry for yelling, I'm sorry for being weak, I'm sorry for existing, I'm sorry I'm alive, I'm sorry I can't protect anyone, and I'm sorry for being so useless! _Quit yelling, just stop it!_ I-I can't, "I-I can't breathe..." I was hyperventilating.

"Kija, start digging!"

"Y-Yes, Princess..."

I felt an unfamiliar pair of hands on my shoulders and I shrieked, pulling away. "No!" The hands kept pulling though, grabbing at me and trying to get me to stay still. "L-Let go! No!" I-I don't... I don't wanna die. Not again. A sudden stinging in my cheek made me freeze, the pair of hands grabbing my face and turning my head, forcing me to look into a pair of dark blue eyes. I was trembling, more scared than ever now. The person looked like a girl, but they were definitely a male. A-And... he's gonna kill me. Like the others. They're all gonna try to kill me.

"Just _breathe!_ "

L-Let go... Let go of me... Just go away...

"Can you hear me? Hey, can you hear what it is I'm saying?" He asked. Suddenly he shouted, an ax being shoved into his hands. No noise escaped me even as I sobbed, too scared to make a sound.

"Irene..." An indescribable pain hit my chest as I gasped, inhaling sharply as I hiccuped. "It's okay." I could barely feel him petting my head, running his fingers through my hair gently as he kept an arm wrapped around me. "It's okay."

Breathing very uneven yet somehow able to finally register what was really going on I whimpered, trying to choke back anymore tears. "I-I'm sorry..." I did it again. I broke down. I'm such a wimp... I clung to Blue tightly, apologizing once more, "I'm so sorry..."

He shook his head at me. "You should... stay here. You can't... move right now." He's right. I-I can't... It's amazing how I was even able to run in front of him like I did earlier, or even walk at all. But now... now I can't even _feel_ my legs.

Not trusting myself to speak anymore I nodded, feeling Blue's hand brush against my cheek and wipe away some of my tears. With one last kiss to the forehead he stood, taking the ax back from the startled blonde, and went back to digging. The blonde, stunned, just watched him walk away before staring at me with a confused, yet slightly understanding gaze.

"You two are close, huh?" I didn't answer, just sitting there with my hair in my face dejectedly. _I'm so useless..._ "Hey, what happened to your foot?" I didn't answer, drawing a face from the male, before he ordered, "Don't move." I watched lifelessly as the male pulled a brown bag off of his shoulder, setting it on the ground before reaching over and observing my ankle. I flinched the second his fingers brushed against it and almost cried out. "It's hard to tell in this light, but I think you sprained it..."

That caught my attention and temporarily snapped me out of what current depression I had gotten myself in. "It's... not broken?" He shook his head.

"No. Though it's still pretty serious. Without proper treatment it'll probably be unusable." I looked at him in horror. He then grinned, "Lucky for you, I'm a boy genius. I have all my medical supplies here with me in my bag. Just sit tight, alright?"

While everyone else worked to break down the wall, the stranger pulled out some white cloth and started wrapping it around my ankle.

"We'll have to wait until we get outside before I can make an actual splint, but this should do to compress the wound for now." Oh... he must need wood for the splint.

"...Th... Thank you..." I felt like crying again. The boy grinned, sitting up straight as he jabbed a thumb against his chest.

"No problem. Like I said, I _am_ a beautiful boy genius. Something like this is simple." I felt a small grin spread across my face, just a little amused, but I forced it back down. "Sorry for slapping you, by the way, but weren't snapping out of it." I looked down, feeling horrible for the way I had reacted. But I just get so scared... The boy suddenly let out a breathe, wheezing. "Jeez... It's... getting really hard to breathe in here." He turned his head and called out, "How close are you guys to getting through?"

"We should be at least halfway there by now!" The White Dragon informed. I watched with big eyes as he _clawed_ away at the door, his right hand humongous and very reminiscent to a dragon's claw. "Ah! Princess!?" The crimson haired woman suddenly fell, gasping and wheezing, and would have hit the ground if Blue didn't reach an arm out and catch her.

"Are you alright?" The boy in front of me asked her, standing. The girl, whose name I've completely forgotten, nodded weakly. She looked like she was ready to pass out.

"Blue Dragon, take the Princess to your room. There should be more air in there."

"I'm fine," The girl said, and I stared at her blankly as I caught her lie easily. I watched as Blue lifted her up, the male casting me a quick glance, before dashing off the way we had came. "I said I'm fine!" Ao chased after him, leaving me alone in a room full of strangers and people who wanted to kill me. The boy who had wrapped my foot up grabbed the knife the "princess" had dropped, making his way over to the wall where everyone was digging.

I stared, just sitting there in the suffocating silence, before moving slowly onto my knees and crawling over, sweat beading down the side of my face as black dots began to dance in my vision. _Useless..._ Nobody seemed to notice as I began to claw at the wall with my fingers, struggling to get bits to break off. It was earth more than it was stone, but it was still extremely difficult and I ended up cutting my fingers more than once. I've lost all strength to cry out or complain at this point, or even speak. I just felt tired.

So a few minutes later when a hand roughly grabbed my shoulder and pulled me back I didn't shout. I just turned my head and stared lifelessly at a frightened villager who raised his knife to me. Blue was gone, I realized slowly as the man started to bring his knife down, so he must be using this as an opportunity to get rid of me. I can barely think, but I recognized him as that one man- Kota. No... Ko-Ji, I think his name was. The mean one.

His knife stopped centimeters from my face, a gloved hand wrapped tightly around his wrist and making him drop the knife. I didn't jump as it hit the ground. I just watched.

I watched as he stumbled back, Blue releasing his hold, and I watched as Blue knelt down in front of me and cupped my face, lifting my head up. With a frown he let go, before lifting my hands up and placing them together as he watched the blood trickle down my fingertips.

"..." Most likely giving me _that_ look from behind his mask, he said, "Rest."

And as if that were some spell he cast on me, I found myself falling forward as everything went black.

 **Finally got it done! Woo. And no offense to those who like _Fifty Shades of Grey._ I actually read the beginning of it, to the point where Christian's mom popped up, and thought it was good. The contract was slightly disturbing, hence why I referenced it, but the banter between the main characters are hilarious. XD ANYWAY~! Hopefully this is good. I'm half-awake right now, so... Haha. Welp, read and review. Finally got the Dragons and Yona! YAY! **


	9. You Didn't Think

**So... I recently found out Shin-Ah's voice actor did Rin Okumura, Usui Takumi, and Misuki... and also sang Hakuna Matata... Blame Tv. Tropes...**

 **But it's so adorable imagining Shin-Ah just dancing around and skipping and singing. XD I doubt he ever would, but it's a cute thought.**

 **Anyway, I don't own Akatsuki no Yona/Yona of the Dawn. If I _did_ though... mwahaha... (Coughs) Nah, things would go entirely wrong. BUT OH MY GOD THAT SONG IS SO FREAKING CUTE SUNG BY NOBUHIKO OKAMOTO AND HIRO SHIMONO. I suggest you all go and watch it. It's too cute. :3**

 _"I'm sorry...! I'm going to leave you all alone... I'm sorry!" -Ao to Shin-Ah_

I was lost, surrounded completely by darkness, walking around with my feet touching cold ground. A light brightened around me as if to illuminate the small area that I could see. I was pacing, going down a never-ending corridor when I saw a figure in the distance. The person was far away, the only thing I was able to make out being white fur and blue sleeves, the darkness of his coat blending in to the surroundings.

Luckily, I knew that person. My eyes lit up at the sight of him, recognizing that back and broad shoulders anywhere, and I called out to him excitedly as I began to dash towards him. "Blue!"

The male stopped walking, turning his head just slightly as the bells on his mask chimed their familiar ring, before changing direction and walking down a different path. I stopped running abruptly, startled and hurt.

 _Did... he not hear me?_ If that was the case then surely he could at the very least _see_ me. He looked this way after all. "Hey, Blue!" I began to run after again, but no matter how much I ran or how fast he just seemed to get farther and farther away. I started to grow desperate, scared as the light around me started to fade. _"Blue!"_ I screamed, before crying out as my foot wrapped around my ankle and I fell, hitting the ground painfully. I looked up, fighting back a groan, and watched as Blue approached a stranger in a cloak.

My eyes widened in horror when I saw the stranger's hair was nothing but flames. Red hot flames that danced in the air, flickering back-and-forth brightly in the black. I quickly pushed myself onto my knees as I ignored all pain, watching as the stranger muttered something to him. Blue looked down at the floor, seeming in thought, before meeting the stranger's gaze and taking their hand. I stood, taking a hesitant step forward, before racing forward determinedly. I outstretched a hand, reaching out to Blue as his back turned to me.

No matter how hard I tried, how fast I ran, or how much I called out and pleaded for him to turn around and look at me, to just stop walking, I could not catch up. I could only watch as he faded from view, hand-in-hand with the grinning stranger.

And that was when I woke up, scared and sweating with fresh spring air hitting my lungs at full force. I coughed and choked as a sob build up in my throat, my eyes stinging and burning with tears. It took a few moments before I could breathe normally again, convincing myself that it was just a bad dream, but when I was able to breathe normally again I turned my head in confusion and flinched, squinting at the blinding light filtering in from the hole in the wall next to me. I hissed, raising a hand automatically to cover my eyes, and wondered why the heck there was a giant hole in the cave wall.

 _It burns..._ I thought, keeping my eyes half-closed as I looked around the room, noting how there were stray knives lying all over the ground. I quickly used my other hand to wipe at the tears staining my face, sniffling loudly and shaking my head as I tried to regain my bearings. _I'm okay. I'm okay. Snap out of it, Irene._ Toughen up. Find out what's going on. I could hear voices coming from outside, leaving me to wonder what all just happened. _I had... Okay, there was an earthquake, I remember that. Then Blue went to check on the villagers, but they knocked his mask off so I came running, and then... then people started digging. Then the girl fell and Blue took her to our room and... and what?_ I had no idea. Everything after that was just blank. I remember the one guy lecturing me about something though...

But the wall was sporting a giant hole in it, so that meant they finished digging and successfully made an escape route.

 _Okay. That's good, I guess, but..._ Blue. Where's Blue!? _H-He's not here..._

I looked around the room frantically, but all that was in the room was sharp deadly objects that littered the ground. I felt an urge to pick one up, tempted to run my skin across the blade to test the psychological mindset of physical pain being distracting to emotions, but the knowledge that I would only end up hurting myself further and that Blue would probably make a fuss about it made me pull my hand back. The consequences aren't worth it.

 _Don't be stupid, Irene,_ I reminded myself, recalling a time when I stood at the kitchen sink for half an hour staring at knife I was supposed to be washing. _You already get hurt on a daily basis-don't go start intentionally hurting yourself._ It probably wouldn't get rid of the pain in my chest anyway. I took a deep breath, cradling my hand against my chest, before looking around again. I recalled my dream and froze, fear piercing my heart like a poisoned arrow. _Did Blue leave?_ I-I have to find him!

I tried to stand, but a scream ended up escaping as I toppled over, pin needles shooting through my foot to my leg and knocking me down onto my front.

There's no way. _There's no way he's gone! He can't be!_ I-I won't get to see him again? But he was just here, wasn't he!? He-He wouldn't just _leave_ me like that, would he? He said-Blue said I could stay with him. He said-

 _No._ He said that _I_ could stay with him, not that he would stay with me. I misinterpreted things again. If he had left... then why should I go looking for him? He doesn't want me there. He wants to stay with that red-haired girl. I'm just a burden to him after all; I'd leave me if I had the choice, too. _I knew this was going to happen. I knew from the second I heard her voice-the very moment I heard her say she came to meet Blue. I KNEW things were going to change._ That everything would be different. I just...

I just didn't expect it to hurt so much, you know?

 _I... won't get to see Blue again._ He's gone. He's left since who-knows-when and I've been here unconscious. There's no way I could possibly catch up to him. _I'm so stupid... why did I think Blue actually liked being my friend? Why did I think I knew him at all?_ Because he was kind and gave me a place to stay? Because he looked after me and protected me, and said he liked my company? He let me cuddle up to him at night because of how cold it gets, and he never seemed to have a problem with me always hugging him or clinging to him. He's saved me so many times and cared for me... He kissed my forehead sometimes, too, and actually showed me his face willingly once or twice. I even got him to smile this morning.

S-So how could all of that h-have been a farce? Did I just dream up all those things because I was scared and lonely? Were those moments together not real? Are we not even really friends?

I felt heartbroken- _destroyed._ "There's no way..." There's no way that all of that was a lie. There's no way we're not friends! He even said it a couple times himself! He wouldn't just leave me like that!

...Right?

I choked and it took me a minute to realize the liquid hitting the ground was my tears. The sob built up in my throat and it was nearly impossible to hold it back. My teeth ground together so tightly it hurt, my fingers digging into the ground as I laid there immobile, crying. I ended up biting into my arm, not noticing how sharp my canines were compared to before, and focused on the pain as I screamed, the sound muffled by the flesh. I bit down so hard I bled, sobbing and choking on my tears as I started to hiccup, my chest heaving painfully every time a new "Hic" was released.

 _I don't want this! Bring him back!_ Blue wouldn't-he wouldn't just _leave_ like that! He's not... He's not that kind of person... _I-I can't... I can't handle this._ I can't lose him too. Blue is-he's all I have! He's the only person I have left! _Please don't take him from me, too..._ I'm sorry. I'm so sorry. _I-I don't know what I did... but..._ "B-Bring him back... I-I'll do better... I-I'll be nice, I promise, just... just bring him back..." I'm so sorry. _This is all my fault..._

I don't know how exactly, but it is. I hoped that by figuring out what I did wrong I could bring him back. I still didn't know what I did wrong to lose my family, but to have done something so horrible to have lost Blue as well? I-I can't... I can't do this. I don't understand.

I pulled at my hair, biting back another scream. I could taste iron from when I bit into my arm, but it didn't bother me. The only pain I was focused on was the one that seemed to be ripping my heart out of my chest and crushing it.

 _Jingle-ling-ling-ding_

I froze, breath stopping completely at the sound of bells. _Footsteps._ They stopped in front of me. I heard a soft thud, the person kneeling down in front of me. "Irene...?" Pulling my bangs back with my hand I slowly looked up, barely breathing as I stared in shock at the male in front of me. "Why... are you crying...?"

"You..." My voice cracked, the words dying on my tongue. I began to shake, my lips curling back as my shoulders shook violently, my tears uncontrollable. The male tilted his head at me, staring blankly in confusion and worry. "You're..."

"?"

I pushed myself up onto my knees, no longer caring about the pain in my foot. I just stared, stunned and unable to believe my eyes, before I broke down sobbing and lunged, crying out and wrapping my arms around his waist. I pressed my face into his stomach, holding onto him tightly in fear that he would vanish. My torso rested in his lap. Blue stiffened in surprise, having not expected that, before he relaxed and placed a hand on my back gently, the other on my head and softly petting it. _He's here._ "Y-You're still here..." He didn't leave. Blue didn't leave me. "You didn't go with her..." It's not a dream. Blue stopped petting at my words, silent.

He seemed to be contemplating his words before he spoke. "I... won't leave you behind. You are... important to me." My eyes snapped open and I went completely still. "Because of that I... want you to come with me."

"...Where?" He stayed quiet. I pulled away from Blue, regretting it as I didn't want to let go and was missing the warmth, before staring up at him with misty eyes. "Where would we even go?" My voice cracked, going up a few pitches.

He looked down, not knowing the answer. "...Anywhere..." He finally said, voice quiet. I almost didn't hear him, but living in silence actually helped with my hearing a bit so my ears were more sensitive and attentive to my surroundings and noises. I watched as Blue lifted his head, staring at me. "We can go some place... where we don't have to hide." My eyes widened. "I can... be myself and... you'll be safe."

I found it hard to look away even with his mask covering his face. I swallowed thickly, trying to get rid of the lump in my throat, and blinked a couple of times. I then asked, "A-Are you sure it's okay? For-For me to go with you, I mean..." He nodded.

"I want you to stay with me."

He said those words to me earlier, too, but these seemed to have a deeper meaning. But if that's the case then... is it really alright? For me to stay by Blue and be by his side? Even though we don't know what consequences there are for leaving these caves, this _mountain,_ will it be okay if I keep clinging onto him? If I stay next to him? I want to hold his hand again...

"I..."

"You... said that where I go, you go... remember?"

I nodded slowly, not trusting myself to speak anymore. _I-I did say that... and I meant it._ I meant every word, Blue. I'll be by your side for as long as you want me to-not out of pity or guilt, but simply because you truly want me there. It was dumb and completely dangerous to be so attached to someone like this; all my logic was being thrown out the window by this point. I don't care where we go-I just want to be with him. Whether we march through blizzards or a scorching desert, or even a disgusting marsh... I don't even care about the consequences of leaving.

I don't _want_ to be selfish, but when it comes to Blue I find it very hard not to become so. I didn't want to let him go. And since he's asking, it should be alright shouldn't it? To stay next to him?

"I..."

Blue stared silently, waiting patiently for an answer.

I found myself breaking, choking and hiccuping as I began to cry again. I was amazed that I wasn't all cried-out yet, considering how much of that I seem to be doing. My head was throbbing, my headache intense and still increasing in pressure and pain, and I'm not sure how to even begin to describe the feeling inside my chest. My body ached, too, but that was easily ignored. "I-I want... I just..." I hiccuped, the lump in my throat making it hard to speak. "I just wanna be with you..." I sniffled, hiccuping again and wiping at my face, trying desperately to stop the falling tears. I probably looked like a little kid, but I didn't care. If I could stay with Blue, then... that's all that matters to me.

Blue scooted closer to me, reaching up and wrapping his arms around my shoulders as he pulled me forward into his chest.

I was scared, no doubt about it. I had no idea what was going to happen from here on out; we were leaving the caves. Leaving the known. The me in the past would have absolutely refused to go anywhere that I didn't know what to expect, and here in the caves I know what I'll see. I'll see angry, scared villagers charging at me from every corner, nearly every day, wielding pitchforks or torches and sometimes even both, chasing me. I _know_ what'll happen if we stay here in the caves-if _I_ stay here in the caves. But to go out there... where anything could happen? In not only a different country, but a completely different time zone as well?

I've always been a suspect of the supernatural, having seen "ghosts" when I was younger and often haunted by horror movies my siblings and/or cousins put on to watch all the time, but after being here... after the month I spent with Blue...

I was only just starting to really accept it as reality.

"I-I don't want to stay here!" I was so _scared_ when I thought he and Ao had left the caves, so heartbroken. But now here he was saying that I mattered to him, that he wanted me to go with him. I found it hard to believe that I could be important to anybody, but the way he said it made me want to believe him. "I-I don't want to lose you..."

"...Then come with me." His hold on me tightened.

I don't want to wake up if this is just some dream my sad subconscious made. I truly, honestly want this to be real. "C-Can I?" Is that okay? Am I truly allowed to do that?

I looked up at him for an answer, knowing he was the only one able to give me the response I was looking for.

Blue stared at me for a moment before nodding, the bells dangling from his mask ringing softly and echoing around the room.

A smile broke out onto my face, the stress I was feeling vanishing in an instant. I closed my eyes, sighing in relief. "Thank goodness..." I took a deep breath, hugging him tightly for a moment before letting go, pulling away. I carefully situated myself on the ground in a sitting position so I didn't hurt my foot, only aggravating a few small cuts, before beaming up at Blue as I finished wiping away what tears I had, sniffling with a tiny laugh. "Y-You scared me a little there. Haha."

He looked down at me, tilting his head, before reaching over and gently patting my head. I continued smiling with my eyes closed, just beaming in pure happiness. The sad, heavy atmosphere was gone in an instant, instead seeming to be replaced with a much more cheerful one.

"I'm important, huh?" He nodded, though a little surprised. I leaned forward, opening my eyes and giving him a toothy grin. "You, too, Blue."

"...?"

"You're important to me, too." I then held up a fist, staring at him expectantly with a smile. "Now let's do it! Brofist!"

"..."

"...D-Don't just leave me hangin'..." It didn't take much to make me upset again, but before I could actually begin crying Blue raised his fist and hit mine. I cheered up instantly, a smile spreading so wide it hurt my face a little. _Blue cares. I'm important to him._ He's my friend without a doubt. I had absolutely no reason to freak out like I did earlier. I _know_ Blue; he's not the kind of person to just run off like that. _I'm so stupid sometimes, haha._ I reached up and scratched my head awkwardly, only to flinch and recoil my hand away. I blinked, staring at the multiple cuts on my fingers. _When did I get those?_ I was about to brush the thought away, but Blue reached out and grabbed my hands gently, lifting them up and staring at them. "Blue?" I asked, lifting my gaze.

"..." He didn't respond, staring at them, and then at the gash on my forehead. I blinked. Blue then promptly raised my right arm and wrapped it around his shoulder, confusing me with his actions, only to slide an arm underneath my legs and lift me up. I squealed loudly and quickly grabbed onto him, alarmed at the feeling of my feet leaving the ground.

"B-Blue!? H-Hey; I can walk, you know!"

He just looked at me.

I stiffened, feeling my face go red, and quickly turned my head away. "J-Just... give me a warning next time, okay!?" I heard him nod, the bells jingling, and felt him press his lips to the side of my head. He pulled away and started to walk, my hold on him tightening when he stepped over a big pile of rubble. Blinding light suddenly filled my vision as he headed towards the hole in the wall, stepping through it. The sun pelted down on us, scorching and hot, and it didn't take long for me to start sweating. I opened my eyes, flinching at the intensity of it, and squinted as I tried to become used to the major lighting change. I felt a shiver go down my spine and goosebumps run along my skin, not used to the heat due to the cold I was living in.

I started to feel rather dizzy, but I was forced to ignore the pain when villagers started to scream and scramble away from Blue as he walked.

"H-He's still here!"

"Run!"

"The Blue Dragon's come back for us!"

Feeling a surge of anger I looked over Blue's shoulder, pushing the fur out of my face and shouting at them. "He's not gonna hurt you! Blue's a good person!" The fur dug into the cuts on my fingers, stinging and burning. "He's nice! You'd understand that if you-!" Something hard suddenly hit my head at lighting speed, making me loosen my grip in surprise and lean back.

If it wasn't for Blue's hold on me I would have fell and cracked my skull open on the ground. He held me closely against him, no longer walking, and looked around as he tried to find the person who threw the rock. It was hard to tell who it was, as everyone looked frightened enough to do anything.

"Y-You're monsters! Just leave already!" I looked at a scared villager in disbelief. My head throbbed a little from where it got hit.

"We're not-"

"Beast!"

"Hey-!"

"You're just a vile creature! You'll kill us all if we turn our backs!"

Okay, that's it. I patted Blue's shoulder. "Set me down." He stared at me for a moment before shaking his head, clearly thinking I was about to do something dangerous or worrying. Eh, not really, but probably really stupid. I was going to get the crap beat out of me for this, but hey-it's not like it's going to make much a difference to my current state anyway. I'm already on the verge of death. I just... I want them to understand.

I don't want them to hate.

"Blue. Come on. I'm still leaving with you, but I need to do something real fast."

He stared, very reluctant to put me down.

While this happened and I tried to convince him I heard the villagers whispering, muttering to themselves, and others still screaming insults. I could see a group of people heading our way-the redhead, the White Dragon, the blonde from before, and a new man. I could make out black hair and blue clothes, but I didn't pay much attention as I tried to convince Blue to let me do this. "Please?" I tried a smile, "Five minutes?"

"...No."

"Blue! Let me do this! If you say "no" again I'll push myself out of your arms! You can carry me after, okay?" I'm sorry. I'm sorry for yelling. Please don't hate me for this. "Please?" I was begging.

Blue knew I was about to do something dumb and he didn't want me to do it. But I was determined.

My right foot touched the ground and quickly placing all my weight on it I limped, telling Blue to stay put as I walked towards the villagers, feeling a pain in my chest at the sight of them stepping back when I neared. I stopped in the middle, taking a deep breath, before placing a hand on my waist with a regretful sigh and saying, "Alright. Let's do this." I fixed the villagers with a look, "But leave _him_ out of it." I gestured with my head towards Blue, wishing I was wearing my jackets so I could shove my hands into pockets. I despised not having pockets. "He spent his whole _life_ trying to protect you and yet you all just act like total _jerks_ to him! He didn't _do_ anything to you."

"He's a monster!"

"No; _you_ are!" The villager froze, stepping back. I moved forward, my hands waving about quickly as I spoke, " _You're_ the one hurting people, _you're_ the ones trapping and killing and kidnapping because of your stupid fear that you're gonna turn to stone! Hell, you tried to kill _me_ practically every day because I knew Blue!" My voice cracked and went up in pitch. "I've seen his _face_ ; I looked him straight in the eyes-if you were gonna turn into stone don't you think _I_ would have been a statue by now!?"

The villagers didn't say anything.

"Exactly! You didn't _think_." I tapped my head lightly with my fist, holding back a wince when it made my migraine worse, and continued, "You were too busy _crying_ and running away to notice the facts! I'm sorry, but last time I checked Blue didn't make out with some god or goddess in another's temple and get a spell cast on him that gave him the ability to turn people into stone!"

Now they just looked confused. I assumed they didn't know their Greek Mythology.

I watched as an old man walked up, clearly appearing to be the "leader" of the villagers. "You don't know anything, woman. The Blue Dragon has-"

"Has what? Been "haunting" you guys for thousands of years?" He went quiet. I snorted, forcing a laugh. "Right. I know the story. People aren't exactly _quiet_ when they're explaining their reasons for trying to kill you all the time!" Wow, I'm bitter. Then again, I have a right to be. "What's the reason for Blue being "cursed", huh? What made you think it was a curse? How do you know he isn't like some guardian angel sent from heavens or whatever to protect you!?" I threw my hands in the air before lowering them, demanding an answer with the look I was wearing.

"He killed thousands of soldiers when he was just a child!" The old man argued. "If that is supposed to be an "angel" I'd rather a demon be sent to us."

I was silent for a moment, speechless, and racked my brain for a response. I was never good at comebacks. After a moment I said, "He only _did_ that because the army would have killed _you!_ Do you think they would have spared you?" I know how war works. It doesn't matter what role you play-whether you be an innocent person just doing your job or a naive child playing in the fields, if you so much as _breathed_ on the enemy's soil you were a target. "You'd all be dead if wasn't for him!"

Emotions flashed across many of the villagers faces, ranging from regret to confusion to horror. I hoped at least one of them understood what the heck it is I'm trying to say.

"A-And if it wasn't for Blue... If it wasn't for him saving me and taking care of me I would be dead, too!" God, I'm getting so emotional over this... Man up, Irene. Stop your crying. "S-So... yeah. Blue never hurt any of you. He just spent all these years protecting you-he came out after the earthquake because he wanted to make sure none of you were injured! He was _worried_ about you a-and you... you still hurt him! You hurt him every day with your-your stupid words and insults a-and.. and screaming!" I can't think properly. I'm dizzy and I'm crying and it hurts and I feel like I'm about to pass out. It was hot outside, yet I felt like I was freezing. "He just wanted to _help_ and you... you hit him! Blue has _never_ laid a hand on you and yet you slap him! Y-You can't... that's not..." I choked, shoulders shaking as a huge lump formed in my throat. "That's not right..."

It's not okay. None of this is okay. It's awful.

"I-I'm sick of it... I'm _sick and tired_ of you all hating on him when he's been nothing but _nice_ to you! He took all your insults and hatred in silence and never fought back! He _accepted_ how you felt about him and yet he still went out of his way to help you! T-To get rid of the bad guys and... and to... to make sure you're all okay... How are his eyes a freaking curse!? Because really, I'd _love_ to know!" I glared at them through blurry vision, the world fading in-and-out of my sight. "He's not... Blue... Blue would _never_ hurt any of you intentionally!" I doubt he'd kill a fly if he could help it. "B-But you're all so focused on your dumb s-superstition that you... you never saw the bigger picture and just..." I shook my head, biting my bottom lip. I sniffled. "You just hate..."

Nobody spoke. I wondered if what I was saying was making any sense. I found it funny that I was trying to speak up for somebody when I can barely even speak up for myself. I couldn't even give a two minute speech in front of my College and Careers class with giving up twenty seconds in and asking if I can sit down.

"He had a choice." I stated lowly. My voice trembled and darkness coated the edges of my vision. "Blue had a choice and he made it. H-He could have used his "curse" to get rid of you all and live as he pleased, but he didn't. He could have pulled out his sword and killed you, but he _didn't_. He could have left any time and you all would have been too scared to stop him, but he _didn't._ Blue chose to _care_. H-He chose to worry about you and... and stayed so he could protect you." He also didn't really have anywhere else to go, but I'm leaving that part out. "Blue's so nice to you when you don't even deserve it... s-so why...? Why are you so mean to him?"

There was no answer.

"Nothing? No response? Really? Even after all that?" I sniffled. "Ya'll are even more pathetic than me." And that's saying something. I expected at least some stones to be thrown. "Whatever... I'm done." I inhaled deeply, swaying a little and placing a hand against my head when the world started to spin again. I opened my eyes and blinked, wiping at my face with my sleeves as I started to turn around. I froze when I saw black leather decorated with a fur trim staring me straight in the face, a blue turtleneck entering my field of vision, and I slowly looked up in fear when I saw Blue look down at me.

For a minute I saw at least three of him, but when my vision cleared I just felt scared.

Blue was completely unreadable. I found myself staring into the sockets of his mask, attempting to see his eyes so I could get the slightest hint of emotion, but my attempts were in vain. A silence passed between us and as I stared up at Blue a pressure got put on my heart, an odd sadness that I don't believe to be mine washing over me. And for some reason, along with that sorrow, I felt a strange appreciation. A pained sort of gratitude.

The silence was thick, lasting for quite a few long moments, and was only broken when Blue had started to raise his hand towards my face.

"Are you all really going to take that from her!?" It was Ko-Ji. Blue's hand stopped and he turned his head, looking at the villager. "She's just his harlot! The Blue Dragon has been haunting and cursing our village for generations; you aren't going to seriously take her words to heart, are you? She's a witch! A monster, just like him!"

"Witch..."

"Monster...?"

I quickly became overwhelmed, the very sight of Ko-Ji striking terror into my heart. I stepped back, only to cringe and cry out when pain shot up my leg. Blue grabbed me before I could fall and I latched onto his arm, breathing heavily as spots danced in my vision, everything hazy and fading in-and-out of focus. _It's so cold..._ No. Don't think about that. W-What did that guy call me? "W-Witch?"

Blue stared down at me, lips tilted down, before turning his head and staring at Ko-Ji who was currently staring down against the White Dragon. Blue seemed angry.

"- _dare_ you suggest such a thing!" I heard the White Dragon say, and I squinted as I tried to make out what was going on. It was hard, but the five White Dragons' eventually blurred back into one. "And just how many times do I have to tell you that the Dragons' power isn't a curse?"

A fight... They were fighting... _I should have kept my mouth shut._ I've started a conflict. _I knew this was going to happen._ I thought of the consequences and still went ahead knowing things could turn out like this. Why didn't I listen to that little voice in my head that told me not to yell at the villagers? I screwed up... I-I screwed up so bad...

"You're a freak, too! Just how many of you cursed beings are there!? Why can't you all just leave our village alone!?" His voice cracked, the male truly believing in what he was saying.

 _I'm sorry... I'm so sorry..._ Why didn't I keep my mouth shut? If I did then Blue and I would be far away from the mountain by now. The villagers wouldn't still be freaking out and crying. _I'm sorry..._ I'm sorry for being such a horrible person. I'm sorry I let my emotions take over. _Th-This is what Daddy meant... This is why Dad told me I shouldn't be so emotional._ Maybe it would be better if I just didn't feel anything at all... If I just stopped feeling, then everybody would be happy. _If I didn't exist... this wouldn't be happening._

"We did _nothing_ to you!"

I flinched back, not noticing how Blue looked down at me when my back pressed against his chest. _That's not... That's not true._ "You..." No. No, I told Blue that he didn't hurt me. I told Blue that Ko-Ji ended up grabbing my hair instead of my arm when I tripped and fell. I told him it was just me being clumsy and that it was an accident. If I told the truth now he'd know I was lying. B-But I...

Memories of being slammed against the wall and hit, being beaten and chased relentlessly flashed through my mind. Ko-Ji had come after me more than once with other groups, seeming to be the most grudge-holding of all the villagers. He hit me often, more than any of the others, and always threw the worst kind of insults at me. He seemed so convinced that I was only staying with Blue because it was "fun". He was so vulgar... asking me disgusting questions about what I did with Blue during my spare time, how he "was" in bed. He was utterly convinced that was the only reason I'd want to stay with Blue.

And when I said none of that stuff happened and that Blue wasn't like that, or when I didn't answer at all, Ko-Ji would just beat me. Over and over... the people he was with, if he ever was with someone, would often get scared and run away, and it would take for Blue to appear before Ko-Ji stopped and ran. I didn't want Blue to hurt anybody, so I always said it was an accident. Ko-Ji used that knowledge to his advantage, unfortunately, and because of it I only grew to hate violence more.

I still have some bruises from his earlier beatings.

A pair of hands suddenly placed themselves over my ears caused me to stiffen, inhaling sharply. The sound was blocked out from how tightly pressed Blue had his hands over my ears, and after a few moments I found myself relaxing. The sound of _his_ voice was gone along with the memories of the interrogations, instead replaced with the focus of feeling Blue's heart beating in his chest. My eyes slid closed and I relaxed in his hold. _Blue's here..._ I'm safe. He's safe.

I opened my eyes slowly, only to have them widen and watch in shock as Ko-Ji was sent flying back, the knife he was holding being thrown out of his grasp. I couldn't hear what they were saying, but the White Dragon's lips moved as he looked down at Ko-Ji with a stern glare. Ko-Ji scrambled up and dashed back into the cave, clearly frightened by the White Dragon, and it was only after a few more minutes of the White Dragon lecturing the villagers (at least I think he was addressing them all) that Blue removed his hands from my ears and instead wrapped his arms around my shoulders, holding me close.

I reached up and grabbed Blue's arms, holding onto him tightly when the White Dragon started to make his way over. I was grateful my bangs were covering most of my face, because it was a little difficult trying to hide my face in Blue's sleeves with the way our position was. The White Dragon looked up at Blue, seeming just the slightest bit intimidated by him, and then leaned down and looked at me with a smile.

"Are you alright, Brown Dragon? Did that man hurt you before?" He must have heard me try to speak up earlier. That or it was just obvious from the look on my face. I wondered if that was why Blue covered my eyes. I never told him the truth, so he shouldn't know, but he is able to tell when I'm lying so... he probably already figured it out. Or maybe he saw Ko-Ji beat me. Seems likely, especially since he seemed to know where I was at when he always arrived to save me. Either way, I hesitated before shaking my head.

"N-No, I'm... I'm fine."

"Are you sure?"

I nodded tentatively. It was scary to talk to someone else other than Blue, especially since I remember this man scaring the crap out of me earlier. "A-And... I'm-I'm not a Dragon."

"Don't be ridiculous!" He retorted almost immediately, standing up straight with his hands on his hips. "Of course you are! Ignore whatever those silly villagers said; you are a Dragon, just like me and your friend." He flashed a smile towards Blue, who just stayed silent. The White Dragon hesitated, seeming to not know how to react. "You, uh... can respond, you know? I'm not going to run away if you talk."

"..."

"A-Alright then... Well, it's a pleasure to meet you both." Blue nodded, before turning his head to look at the villagers who were all looking at us. He bowed his head deeply in their direction, reminding me once again that I was no longer in America. He then stood up straight, only to watch in surprise when the bells he had attached to his mask suddenly fell off. I let go of Blue and tried to grab them, but it only pulled on my ankle and my legs gave out from below, causing me to collapse against Blue as he caught me before I could fall. He had quickly wrapped one of his arms around stomach just below my chest, stopping me from hitting the ground.

I felt winded, intense pain flaring in my ankle and side, and it took all I had not to pass out then and there. "Th-The bells..."

"I... don't need them anymore," Blue murmured softly in response. I looked up at him weakly, confused, and gasped when he suddenly lifted me up, moving the arm he had around my stomach to underneath my legs. I didn't shout this time, too weak to do much of anything, and could only wrap my arms lightly around his neck as my head rested against his shoulder. He moved away from the White Dragon, who watched curiously, and instead headed towards the redhaired female who seemed to be crying. He approached her, stopping just a few feet away. She looked up to meet his gaze, surprised. "...I'm not leaving without her," He said.

The girl's amethyst orbs widened before an understanding look flashed across her features, a smile spreading across her kind face. "Of course. I couldn't ask you to do such a thing, Blue Dragon. I'd love to have you both with me."

"..." Blue was silent, just nodding in response, and I clung to him as I watched the girl wave at the villagers.

"Thank you for holding us up for the night!"

It didn't take long for us to depart, Blue carrying me due to my inability to walk properly. I didn't mind as much as I normally would, it having been a long and tiring mess of a day, and before long I found myself falling asleep, pondering just how mad Blue was at me for yelling at the villagers.

* * *

When I woke up I was in a forest clearing, laying on the ground with a pillow underneath my head. That was the first sign of something being wrong, as there wasn't anything "pillow" like in the caves except when I cuddled up to Blue and vice-versa. I shifted and groaned, raising a hand to cover my eyes when a bright light suddenly shone behind my eyelids-the second sign that something was wrong. A sudden stinging on my side made me freeze and hiss, before quickly placing a hand against it gently. I slowly pushed myself up, ignoring the shouting of a person to stay laying down.

"The medicine's only just started kicking in, you idiot!"

I blinked, casting a quick confused glance at the blonde who was glaring at me, before staring down at all the bandages that were covering my body.

"You're covered in cuts and contusions and you have an infected gash in your side! You aren't in any shape to be moving!" I listened as he spoke, but still lifted my hands and stared at the white cloth that was wrapped around them, some sort of ointment spread across the tips of my fingers. "Are you even listening to me!?"

I lifted my head up in alarm, staring at the blonde and opening my mouth to apologize for not saying anything and for causing trouble, when something wet fell off my forehead. I caught it just before it could fall on my lap and stared at it.

"Ch." He scoffed, frowning deeply, before waving the spoon he was holding at me. "Just how long have you had that side wound anyway? Why didn't you get any treatment?"

I looked at him blankly, blinking multiple times as I slowly registered what was going on, memories of what happened before I blacked out rushing through my mind once again. "You... You patched me up?" He seemed unhappy with my question, but nodded.

"Who else would?" My first thought was Blue, as when we first met he had tried to wrap my wounds. I gave a small shrug in response, not really trusting myself to speak. "Now answer my question! How long have you had that wound and why didn't you do anything about it!?"

"...Truth or lie?"

"What do you think!?"

"...Lie?"

I flinched at his glare.

"I'm sorry, I'm sorry! I-I had it for like a month now? The-The villagers weren't exactly the nicest of people and it's not like they'd give us medicine if we asked!"

"...Fair point... but do you even realize how serious it was?"

I nodded slowly. "Yeah. I'm stupid, but I'm not that dumb. I'm actually surprised I lasted this long without getting a fever." He looked slightly surprised. "My mom was a nurse, so... I know some stuff." I recalled the crash and a felt a tear in my chest, but I quickly pushed it out of my mind and said, "Th-Thanks for patching me up by the way. I-I appreciate it."

He looked away, scowling. "Whatever... just don't move around too much or you'll rip the stitches. You're lucky I traded some stuff at the village or otherwise you'd be keeling over right now."

I tried for a laugh, ignoring the panic I was starting to feel at talking to a stranger and not knowing where Blue was at. "S-Sorry..." I opened my eyes again, looking around the clearing. "When... did we get into the woods?" It was around sunset. My jaw went slightly agape at the sight, watching the sky glow colors of pink and red and orange. I've always loved sunsets, but spending so long in that cave... "I almost forgot what the sun looked like."

Everything's different now. Everything's changed.

I saw the male look at me from the corner of his eye.

"Ah, Brown Dragon!" I turned my gaze and watched as the redhead female dashed towards me, kneeling on the ground with a happy, relieved smile. "You're awake! Both you and Kija suddenly collapsed on the way down from the mountain and we all grew so worried!"

"Kija?" She looked surprised before realization flashed across her face. She pointed at the sleeping white-haired male not far from me. "O-Oh..."

"He's wore himself out when he was digging in the caves," She explained, "but when we finally found a place to stop, Yun discovered all your injuries and demanded us to stay put until he finished patching them. This is your second time passing out like that..." The girl looked so concerned. "He said that your wound was infected... How are you feeling?"

"I'm-I'm fine..." If she knew how many times I black out normally then I doubt she'd be so worried right now. It's just something I'm starting to get used to. "Besides, I get hurt all the time-I trip and fall flat on my face on a daily basis! What's a side gash gonna do?"

The blonde next to me who was crushing something in a bowl stiffened slightly when I mentioned how clumsy I was. Then, as if nothing happened, he went back to crushing the objects that were in the bowl.

The girl tilted her head at me. "I... see. Oh! Are you hungry? Is the food still warm, Yun?"

"You just have to relight the fire," The blonde next to me responded, confirming my suspicions that he was Yun. I was uncomfortable speaking to so many people at once, it being slightly suffocating, but I forced myself to endure it. They were trying to help, after all, and... Blue and I _are_ going to be traveling with them from now on. Oh god, that sounds so weird. Wait, hold on, does this mean we're camping?

 _B-Bugs... oh god no._ The last time I ever went "camping" was when I was around eight or nine and Mom and I, along with my siblings, had to sleep out in a tent in a trailer park because we didn't have a house. According to my dad that was considered being "homeless" as he was getting on me one day about how if the electricity ever went out at Mother's place that I should just spend that time with him, and I told him that I could live without electricity. Kinda how he learned about the "living in a tent" thing in the first place. I didn't really consider it homeless, as Mom had a job and we could still eat, and we technically had a roof over our heads.

I just didn't like all the bugs. There weren't that many bugs in the caves, but when there was Blue often heard me screaming about it when one crawled on my arm or leg.

Besides, a tent was more than what other people have. I shouldn't be picky about my living quarters.

"I-I'm not-" I began, watching the female pick up to rocks and strike them together determinedly. "I'm not hungry."

"Eh?" She looked startled, and even Yun looked a little surprised. Kija was dead asleep on the ground. "But you're so thin! Are you sure? We did travel a long way."

"I'm-I'm fine." The girl frowned, not looking convinced, before proceeding to spark the rocks. "Wh-What are-"

"Just in case you get hungry later. Besides, I don't think Hak ate either, and it's not like we can just let the rest of this go to waste." I stared at her in shock, having not expected such a reaction. I flinched back when a flame finally lit the wood, the girl leaning down on the ground and blowing to spread the fire. She beamed when the flames worked properly and exclaimed, "Alright! Perfect. Oh! I completely forgot to introduce myself to you." She sat up and looked at me, smiling. "My name is Yona; it's a pleasure to meet you, Brown Dragon."

I raised a hand awkwardly, saying, "Y-You too." She blinked and stared at my hand, not understanding what she was supposed to do with it. My eyes widened and I quickly pulled it away. "S-Sorry! I, uh, forgot. Um, different country different customs. Haha."

Her eyes lit up in surprise. Yun stopped what he was doing and looked at me. Yona asked, stunned, "You're a foreigner? I thought you looked different!"

Well, yeah. You all look plain Korean to me, though.

"Where are you from?"

"...Eh. Doesn't really matter. Probably never heard of it anyway." I dodged the question, making Yona pout in response. Yun stared at me, narrowing his eyes, before shrugging and going back to what he was doing. "Um, where's Blue?"

"Blue?" She said in confusion. "Oh! Blue Dragon. He's over there." I followed her finger and stared at Blue, who was currently wrapped up in the fur he had attached to his mask. "He dove into a stream earlier to get Kija a fish and he's been like that ever since. Some of his clothes just aren't drying." I looked up to see the articles of clothing dangling off of some wire they had tied to tree branches. _Well, his jacket IS leather..._

"..." Blue just stared in this direction, watching us. I stiffened, wondering if he was mad at me. His gaze was intense, even with the mask on.

"Oh, um, Brown Dragon?" Yona whispered, tugging on my kimono sleeve. I looked down at her.

"What is it?"

She cast a look at Blue before holding a hand over the side of her face, making sure Blue couldn't see, and whispered in my ear, "Do you know any good ideas for a name?"

"...Hah?"

"You know him best and he doesn't really know what he'd like to be called," She explained, leaning away. I wondered why she was trying to be so secretive even though she just blurted that out loud. "You two seem to be really close, so..."

I blinked. "We do?" She nodded.

"Hak had to pry him away from you when Yun started to take care of your injuries."

"Hak?"

She nodded, gesturing to the dark-haired male leaning against a tree. He was holding a huge Hsu Quandao-which was a type of sword/spear thing. "He's the one who broke through the cave wall."

"Oh..." I never noticed just how many people there were. It was a bit overwhelming. "Um, I-I don't really know what would be a good name. Aoi? Tsukito?"

Yona blinked. "Tsukito?" I shrugged.

"It-the "tsuki" means moon and I don't really remember what "to" stands for. But, uh, anything I come up with is completely ridiculous, so... yeah. I'm not sure what would fit him." I barely even know any Korean names. _Wait, am I in South or North Korea? Or is this like, way before Korea split up? Just when the hell am I!? Or am I in like a mix of Korea and China, because that guy's weapon is definitely Chinese. But if that's so, then how the heck am I speaking their language? I doubt they're speaking English, considering Blue lived in a cave nearly his whole life and I really don't think anyone would be brave enough to try and teach him a new language that probably hasn't even been invented yet. I only know bits of Japanese and some Spanish!_ I was doing so well in my Spanish class, too... won't need it now, I guess. _Or... is it something to do with my tattoo?_ I wasn't given much more time to ponder as Yona snapped me out of my thoughts.

"Moon, huh...?" That seemed to strike a chord within her and she looked thoughtful. "Well, thank you for your opinion." I blinked and watched her stand, the girl promptly walking away and leaving the camp sight.

"...I am so confused..."

"You tend to get used to it," Yun said, speaking up. "The Princess is always like that." I looked at him, noting how he used "princess" instead "Yona".

"Why do you call her "Princess"?" He paused and the man named Hak opened his eyes, looking at us. "Are you two together?"

To my surprise a red blush spread across Yun's startled face. He choked. "Wh-What!?" Does he like her?

"Her name's Yona and you call her "Princess". That's a nickname."

"That's her title!" He responded, flustered. "She's the Princess of this country!"

"...Wait, what!?" We're in Medieval times!? That redhead was a _princess_!? Like, a real one. One who has authority to cut my head off? "Y-You're serious? _She's_ a princess?"

"Yes!"

"..." Oh god, she's going to kill me. Sh-She's going to... to cut my head off. I-I don't want to be put in a guillotine! Without realizing it my hands shot up to my throat as I stared into space, the worst of thoughts racing through my mind. _I-I was so rude to her and she's... she's going to kill me for it. That's how royalty works, right? If someone back talks or does something rude they kill them!_ I was so mean. "Oh... O-Okay. That's... That's cool."

Yun stared at me, the blush gone, and scrutinized me. "She's not that kind of royalty." I snapped out of it, looking at him in confusion.

"What?"

"She may be a noble, but she's not stuck-up or ruthless. Princess Yona is kind." His words made me feel a little better, but it still didn't stop my underlying fear. "Besides, even if she was cruel she couldn't do anything to you. She doesn't have that kind of power anymore."

"What do you mean?"

"There was an usurpation of the throne." My eyes widened. "Her father was killed by her cousin, and she and Hak were forced to run away while he became King. Since then she's been looking for you Dragons to find a way to survive. It's not easy living on the outside, as I'm sure you know; people from all over would kill you just for a pocket full of coins. Kouka isn't safe nowadays and the Princess knows that, which is why she's seeking your help." He looked at me and then at Blue who had sat down next to me some time during this. "I'm good at everything except fighting, so I can't exactly protect her, and the Lightning Beast can only do so much on his own."

Hak remained silent, though he looked like he wanted to say something that contradicted that. I wondered why he was called "Lightning Beast", before just assuming it had something to do with his fighting style.

"That's why she's looking for the Dragons.," Yun continued, "There are five of them total, as you can ask Kija, and one of the the five is supposed to be the adviser of the Crimson Dragon King. She needs his help the most, as she has many things she wants to ask him. She believes that the fifth dragon is him. She needs both strength and wisdom, and while the Dragon Warriors offer strength and protection, the Dragon King's Adviser can offer the wisdom and intellect she needs."

There was a long silence as I absorbed everything I was told.

I then spoke, confused and trying to make sure I understood everything. "So she needs them all to survive?" Yun nodded, though something didn't sit right with me. "But then what'll she do after she gets all the Dragons together? Will she just regain control of the throne?" Yun paused, having not thought of that, and even Hak looked interested. He stood up and made his way over, sitting down so we were all in a circle of sorts except for Kija, who was still asleep. "Or is she just going to wander around aimlessly and let them stop people from attacking her?" I felt uncomfortable with them looking at me so intently like they were and I shifted, fiddling with my kimono. "B-Because even-even though she's getting their help... doesn't she need to know what she's going to do with them? A-And like you said-She needs the King's adviser, which means that she's going to need his advice for _something_ , and if her cousin killed her dad and stole her throne, wouldn't the most obvious choice be to use the Dragons, get an army, and take the throne back?" I paused, thinking of what I just said, and shook my head. "But even if she takes the throne back she won't really be able to rule the country without a king, so she'll have to get married, and I don't think she wants to marry the guy who killed her dad-especially since they're related. So..." Wow, this is hurting my head.

I racked my brain, trying to think of something else.

"I... hm... Well, unless she wants to use the Dragons to help _stop_ wars or something... An adviser would be good at that. Find the most pacifistic way to stop the conflict, or just figure out how to destroy the enemies from the inside without there being any unnecessary bloodshed. Wait, does she hate or like violence?" I stared at them expectantly, waiting for an answer. "Because if she likes violence then the only way to stop the wars would be to assassinate the leader." Though I think they knew that. "Or maybe just have a three-way war... that would suck..." I looked down, biting my bottom lip as I thought about all the people who could die during that. _Yun said she wasn't a cruel princess though, so maybe people won't have to die?_ I sure hoped that was the case. I lifted my head, staring at Yun and Hak, only to frown when I saw their faces.

They looked like the obvious smacked them straight in the face as they looked at me. I blinked. Hak stood, saying he was going to get a drink, and Yun slowly began to put things away and placed them into the bag he had slung over his shoulder.

"I'm taking a walk," He declared, heading in the opposite direction, and it was soon just me, Blue, and Ao.

There was a silence.

"They didn't answer my question..." I murmured, and heard Ao squeak as she nuzzled my cheek, trying to comfort me. "It was a legitimate question, too... and I'm not a dragon!" I picked Ao off of my shoulder, staring at her for an answer. "Do I look like a Dragon to you?"

"P'kyuu!"

"Thank you!" I cuddled her to my chest, huffing, and looked up at Blue who was still wrapped up in the ball of fur. "I'm not like you or Kija; I don't have any powers, so why the heck is everyone so insistent on me being a Dragon?" Blue just stared at me.

"...You don't... remember?" I blinked.

"Remember what?"

"..." He lowered his head, going quiet, and I waited patiently for a response. Instead he just moved, picking up one of the few bowls that were on the ground, and filled it up with the strange fish-soup thing that was in the pot. He stirred it with the spoon and I heaved a sigh, turning my head and staring into the distance as I pet Ao.

 _He's not going to say anything either, huh? But I don't get it; so what if I have dragon tattoo? It's just a mark! It's not like I have magic eyes or a freaking dragon claw for a hand. I don't even have fangs... do I?_ I paused, running my tongue across my canines thoughtfully. They felt quite sharp and just a little bit longer than usual. _No. It just seems that way because I'm thinking of it. I'm being delusional._ I then remembered my arm.

Setting Ao on my shoulder I quickly rolled up the sleeve of the arm I bit into, not so surprised to see a bandage wrapped around it. "I really did make myself bleed..." Maybe I was- _no._ I refuse. That's stupid to think. I'm not important enough for that kind of role or responsibility. _But that voice... it said I was supposed to be an adviser of some sorts, and one of the dragons are meant to be an adviser, so maybe-?_ "Che. Right. Not."

"?" Blue made a small noise and I looked up at him, waving it off.

"It's nothing. I just imagined things." He tilted his head, before looking down at the bowl in his hands. I wondered if he already ate, seeing how Yun mentioned that the food was done cooking a while back, and if he was still hungry. I don't blame him, considering there wasn't much to eat in the caves anyway. I questioned how he managed to stay so well in shape. A recollection of what happened earlier then hit me and I hesitated, watching him get a spoonful of the soup. "H-Hey, are you... are you mad at me?" I was scared of the answer, but I wanted to know.

He looked at me, mouth open in surprise, before he went silent. It bugged me that he didn't say anything and I could only stiffen in surprise when he held the spoon out to me.

"Wh-What?" Did he want me to bite it? But I thought he was the one who was hungry? And why did he dodge the question?

"..."

"I'm not hungry," I told him easily. I really wasn't. I mean, sure, it smelled good, but I...

A wave of sickness suddenly took over and I almost fell over. My stomach hurt as if I had just gotten punched, my insides feeling like they were being twisted around and torn out.

"You should eat it," I managed to get out. Blue frowned, not pulling the spoon away. "You're probably more hungry than I am." It was the same thing I always said to him when he tried to give me food, most of the time Blue not having anything to eat for himself, but after a while I'm usually able to convince him to eat it. "Besides, I'm really not hungry. I can live a few more days without food." I laughed, giving him a grin, only to remember Yona's words. _Am I really that thin now? I mean, I know I had to ditch my bra because I lost so much weight, but I can't be THAT thin... right?_ I went from a Double D to a C in just a couple weeks from not eating at all, but that's a good thing isn't it? No back pain, easier to get into a sleeping position... _I doubt I'm THAT unhealthy._

A flashback to Blue leaving without telling me to get a bunch of sunflower seeds made me hesitate.

"You need to eat, Irene," He said softly. "You... need the strength, otherwise you won't get better." My heart ached a little. "You're already so thin..."

I clutched my pants tightly, biting my bottom lip as the guilt of making him worry hit me. _He's not mad at me... he's just concerned._ "I'm sorry..."

"..."

"I'm so sorry!" It hurt to look at him, so I squeezed my eyes shut and lowered my head. "I'm sorry for everything! F-For freaking out thinking you left, for yelling at the villagers, and for... for everything! I-I'm so sorry! I-I didn't mean to make you remember those bad things, I-I didn't want to hurt you, I didn't want to lie to you about Ko-Ji, a-and I-I'm so sorry!"

Blue pulled the spoon away and placed it in the bowl, startled at the sudden apologies.

"I didn't want to make you worry! I-I just-I got so mad at how they treated you and I couldn't take it any longer and I snapped and I'm so sorry!" Please forgive me. I'll do anything, so please don't hate me. I can't lose you. We came this far and I can't lose you now. "I'm so sorry, Blue..."

"..."

"S-Say something already! E-Even if you don't forgive me, at least t-tell me so!" I was desperate for a reaction.

He held the bowl in front of him, his hands and arms sticking out from the fur, before he set it down on the ground beside him. I felt a small twinge of fear, thinking just briefly that I was going to get hit, and flinched instinctively when he leaned towards me.

His lips pressed softly against the corner of my right eye, his hand brushing the hair out of my face before cupping my cheek. He pulled away and instead wrapped his arms around my shoulders, pulling me close and resting his head against mine. I stiffened, the fur having fell so he was only covered from the hips and below. He shivered from the cold, tightening his hold on me.

Not knowing what else to do, and more than a little awkward and uncomfortable at being hugged so intimately by Blue while he was shirtless, I wrapped my arms around his back, returning the embrace. I sniffled, blinking and looking at him from the corner of my eyes in confusion. _He's supposed to be mad, isn't he?_ I lied and I hurt him. He should at least be a little upset. Even if it was Blue, he'd still give me a look that read "don't do that again" or something.

He continued to shiver, shaking, and I couldn't help but comment, "I-If you're cold you can put the fur back on, y-you know?" He's just as susceptible to the cold as I was-maybe even more so. "I-I won't mind."

 _Ba-Dump. Ba-Dump. Ba-Dump._

S-Seriously, I don't think I would. Please cover up your chest-bare skin is highly uncomfortable for me. Where am I supposed to put my hands if you aren't wearing a shirt!? It's intrusive to hug you without clothing! _Was he always this muscular?_ Nope. Not going there. Irene, snap out of it-nope. _We are in a depression right now and Blue just randomly hugged you and kissed your ugly face. He's also freezing, so do something about it!_

"Blue-" He shook his head.

"I don't want to."

"Come on, you're freezing! Look, you're even trembling!" _Seriously, is he only shy about his face? Is it because he lacked people-interaction his whole life? I thought Asians were conservative!_ But then again, we _did_ live together, so Blue probably just doesn't care. He's never really had a reason to care before after all, so why should he now? "You'll catch a cold! Your hair is still wet, too!" It really was and I could feel the damp strands tickle my ear.

Blue shook his head. "No." His voice shook a little and the shiver wasn't just from the cold, but because he was _crying_.

"...What's wrong?" This is different from what I was expecting. Blue stiffened, tightening his hold on me.

"...I couldn't protect you." I furrowed my eyebrows in confusion, not understanding. "You were... scared at the mountain... because I couldn't stop him in time. I _watched_ him hurt you and I... didn't get there fast enough." I was lost for a good moment until I figured it out, horror striking me at the realization that Blue did in fact see those beatings. I went completely still, my eyes burning from the tears that were still falling. "I didn't... want you to say anything... because I knew he'd hurt you again." His fingers dug into my back, pulling at my kimono.

"Blue-"

"I... won't let you get hurt again."

I choked.

Blue is seriously the nicest person I had ever met- _Nobody_ has ever cared about me so much before. Nobody ever _said_ anything like that to me before. And, sad to say, I'm a sucker for the cheesy lines. "I'll keep you safe." His mask lifted up to the top of his head as he buried his face in my neck, his tears and damp hair tickling my skin along with his warm breath. "So don't... hide things from me anymore." It was hard to hear him, but I understood what he said.

"...I'm sorry... I just-I didn't want anybody else to get hurt." I took a deep, shaky breath and promised, "I won't lie like that again, okay?" Blue shook his head.

"...It's more than that..."

I pulled away, confused, and Blue lifted his head, eyes locking on mine. "...You didn't tell me how badly you were hurt." Is he talking about my side wound?

"If I told you, you would have had to deal with scared villagers. I wasn't gonna do that to you!" Emotional pain is worse than physical-besides, I'm all patched up now. "Yun fixed my wounds, so there's nothing to worry about! Like, see! He even got my fingers!" I held them up for him to see, grinning. I sniffled, a slight headache forming, though the smile remained on my face. "And he stitched my side, so that's pretty awesome; I never had stitches before, so this is gonna be an interesting experience." Good for writing material.

Blue just stared. I could tell by looking at him he wasn't satisfied. His face doesn't really change that much, but his eyes are _full_ of emotion.

I huffed, slumping my shoulders, and promised more seriously this time, "I swear I won't hide anything that bad from you again, okay? If I get an infected wound or a broken leg or if a guy repeatedly beats me up I'll tell you. Here-I'll pinky promise!" I held my little finger out to him, smiling. He stared at it, and then at his own had as he raised it up and mimicked the position I had put my hand in, curling all his fingers but his pinky. His mouth was open as he did so, which honestly was still the cutest thing ever, and without wasting a second I reached over and linked our fingers. "And if I break that promise I'll have to swallow a thousand needles!"

Horrified, Blue quickly unlinked our fingers, shaking his head frantically. He was scared.

I almost laughed, but a part of me made me hold back and I quickly held my hands up in the air, trying to reassure him. "H-Hey! It's-It's just a saying, okay!? I'm not-I'm not really going to swallow a thousand needles! Do you have any idea how much that would hurt? I wouldn't survive that! I'll eat grass or something!"

He continued to shake his head, though he started to get dizzy so he had to stop. I watched as he placed a hand to his head, looking slightly flushed. I reached over and grabbed the fur that had fallen, careful not to accidentally scar myself for life, and raised it up to cover Blue's back and shoulders. Blue looked surprised, eyes widening silently as he watched me pull the fur over his chest. Then, by habit and instinct, I reached and planted a kiss on Blue's jaw. I then kissed the other side as well, as I wanted it to be even, and pulled away with a toothy grin.

"It'll be fine! Now cheer up before I hug you again!"

"..." He diverted his eyes, face slightly pink, and he murmured, "Your hugs... aren't threatening."

"Pfft! You kiddin' me? My hugs are suffocating! Now cheer up!" I tugged on the fur as I spoke, making sure it wouldn't fall off, and on my last sentence I let go and pat him affectionately on the cheek. "As adorable as you are when crying, I much prefer you looking as you usually do." I _would_ say "smiling" but I think that was a one-time thing. He wasn't even aware he had been smiling, nor that he even still remembered how to do that if he ever even smiled in the past. "And lean down so I can kiss your face again!" I wanted to plant one on his forehead.

To my surprise he actually did lean down, instead of rejecting the show of affection, and I found a strange warmth blossom in my chest. I felt happy.

Wrapped up in his fur his nose brushed against mine lightly, and I quickly placed a hand on his neck as I moved and raised my head, placing a deep kiss on his forehead. Then, just as I pulled away, he turned his head and sneezed.

"You are so lucky that you turned your head otherwise I would'a slapped you."

"A _-choo!_ " He sneezed again, sniffling, before promptly burying himself in the fur. I laughed loudly. His face was red and he looked quite flustered-to the point where it was actually starting to show on his face. His eyes widened when he realized the mask was still off, and was about to pull it down when he realized it was only me and him in the clearing, Kija still dead asleep. He hesitated before lowering his hand, looking down at the ground. "...Thank you."

I stopped laughing abruptly, startled, and looked at Blue in confusion. "Hah? What for?"

"...For everything."

"I didn't do anything though..." Seriously, what did I do? I stared at Blue, waiting for a response, but all I got was a look that told me that what I said was a lie to him. His eyes explained his thoughts completely. "Uh, you're... welcome?" He nodded, before pausing suddenly. I watched, amused as he picked up the abandoned bowl that once had food in it. He looked around for the culprit, only to find Ao hiding behind the fire and sleeping on the ground, her chubby cheeks and stomach sticking out as she slept on her back.

"Ao..." He murmured, but probably found the sight of her sleeping too adorable to be stern. I don't think I ever _seen_ Blue stern with Ao. He is with me plenty times when trying to get a point across, which I found slightly unfair. I can't get away with acting cute-not that I ever tried, really-but Ao can just squeak at him and she'll get away with anything. _I think Blue's playing favorites._ Not nice. This is supposed to be a non-favoritism-showing trio friendship!

I leaned back suddenly when Blue held a spoonful of food in front of my face, having refilled the bowl during my time thinking. He seemed adamant on feeding me, as I received a feeling of deja vu from just ten minutes ago. "I-I'm not hungry, Blue; I already told you this."

"..."

I leaned my head back, trying not to smell the delicious aroma of the food as it made my stomach twist sickly. "I-I can feed myself..." I think I'm going to throw up.

"...I don't trust you."

If there was anything in my mouth I would have just done a spit-take. "Th-Then why is your mask still off!?" My voice went so high pitch I'm amazed Blue didn't flinch. _And why the hell did you hug me and cry while being half-naked!? If that isn't trust then I don't know what is!_ If I was anyone else then I probably would have taken advantage of him; I know how badly disgusting people can be. _Oh..._ "I completely forgot how innocent you were..."

He blinked, confused as to where that suddenly came from.

I reached over and pat his shoulder, saying, "It's okay, Blue. I forgive you." And really, please don't hug me without a shirt on again. As good-looking and beautiful as you are, I'm not exactly comfortable being hugged by naked men, regardless of whether or not their goods are covered. "But seriously, I can eat by myself. I don't need you to feed me."

Blue shook his head. "You... need to let your hands heal." They aren't _that_ badly wounded! It's just a few cuts! Sure, it hurts a little when I bend or flex my fingers, but it's not like my bones are broken. "I... also want to... make sure you eat." I gaped at him, stunned, and Blue being as adorkable and socially awkward as he was he took that as permission to shove the spoon in my mouth, burning my tongue and making me lift my head up and wave a hand over my mouth as I tried to cool it down.

"Hot, hot, hot!" I cried. Blue looked alarmed and froze, having no idea of what to do to fix the situation. I swallowed, gasping, and let out a breath as I continued to wave a hand in front of my mouth. "Give me a warning next time, jeez! That hurt!"

"...Sorry..."

I huffed and looked up at him, before sighing. "It's fine..." I can't stay mad at him anyway. He stared down at the bowl, seeming not to trust it anymore, but still grabbed another spoonful. This time he blew on it, cooling it down, and I wasn't sure how to feel about it. I felt my face heat up and I bit the inside of my cheek, flustered and a little embarrassed. "Y-You don't have to-"

He ignored me, still blowing on it, and once he was pleased and certain that it was safe he held it out to me. I gave in, stomach churning at the smell, and took the bite.

No longer burning I could finally taste it, realizing at that moment of just how _hungry_ I was. I quickly tried to take the bowl from Blue, greedy and starving for more, Blue he held it out of my grasp and got another spoonful, blowing on it. He held it out and I took another bite, and another, and another, and just chewing hungrily. I have no idea what the soup was made out of other than fish, but it was _delicious_.

I felt like crying again. My eyes still burned from earlier.

 _It's so good~! Real food!_ "Real food, real food, real food!" I chanted excitedly, waiting impatiently for Blue to hurry up with the next spoonful. I think he was slightly amused, but I wasn't sure. I really wasn't paying much attention-I was too busy focusing on the food. "Food! _Chomp!_ " I munched on the food, chewing happily, and ignored the sight of Blue quickly pulling his mask down as Yona and Yun walked into the clearing. "It's so good!" I clapped my hands together, just so happy to be eating real food for once. Why was I so adamant on not eating again? "Thank you person who made this wonderful creation of food and spices and whatever the heck else is put in it!"

Yona giggled at that, sitting down next to a slightly red-faced Yun who took a spot next to a tree. He started to pull out the objects he had put away earlier, putting some more herbs into the small bowl and crushing them. "Hear that, Yun? She likes it!"

"Y-Yeah, whatever."

I managed to get through at least another bowl before I had to stop, feeling like I was going to throw up from eating so much. Blue soon left, going to change into his clothes which had finally finished drying, and night soon happened upon the land. I curled up into a ball on the ground by the fire, next to Ao who squeaked and rolled over, before pushing herself and walking towards me. She plopped down on the ground near my chest, cuddling with me, and I quietly bid her goodnight with a small smile.

I was certain that this day was never going to end. I thought it was going to last forever.

But never did I think at the beginning of the day that I'd get to see the sky again. That'd I'd get to leave the darkness of the caves and grudge of the villagers. It was funny, as in the past I absolute despised the sun, only ever being a night-person, but now... I'm so glad I could see it again. To see the sun, to feel its warmth, and the breeze of the wind and the goosebumps it left when it was too cold. To _breathe_ fresh air...

I inhaled deeply, opening my eyes and just staring up at the sky. The stars that were coming out are just so _beautiful..._

 _Maybe camping out like this every day won't be so bad._ Especially since I have Ao and Blue with me. As long as I have those two I don't need anyone else. _I'm grateful for what everyone else has done though... Kija stood up for Blue and I, even if he's a bit of a pain for being so insistent on me being a Dragon, and Yona was the one who took us out of those caves. Yun patched me and made the food..._ They've done so much for people they don't even really know. _Nobody could be that nice..._ or so I would think, if I didn't know Blue.

I closed my eyes, slowly drifting off into sleep with a smile.

 **Read and review! Posted this earlier, but then rewrote the last bit because it was completely awful. XD**


	10. Getting To Know You

**I suck at writing Hak's character. DX It's so hard to get into his head. Also, I'm not entirely sure what's going on with this chapter. But oh well. PTSD Irene here we go. And Yun. I think I'm doing Yona right. Keyword there-THINK.**

 **And I know it's been a while. Please don't hate me. BUT I LOOK SO FORWARD TO JAE-HA. Mwahahahahaha! And-ugh, I dun wanna be a junior when school starts up again. But my sister and I are working on an Otome game-she graduated college, so it's kinda hard to meet up and stuff, but we got the genre and theme thought out, and the overall plot, and we're still working on the character designs. We're each drawing six of the main guys you can end up with and when we meet up when I go to spend the week at her place in two weeks we'll compare and contrast and kinda take details from each before making the final designs. We got one of the character's backgrounds thought out. Least, I did and I told her and she thought it was pretty good.**

 **But the game's gonna be so awesome. :3 S'gonna be a murder mystery thing.**

I woke up in more pain than I had ever been in before. I didn't know if it was from when I got hit by all those rocks during the earthquake, when I hurt myself running around and trying to find Blue yesterday morning, or if it was from injuries I had already received from days before. Maybe it was just because of all of them. All I knew was that it felt as if people were gripping different parts of my body as hard as they possibly could in an attempt to break it, trying to _sink_ rocks into my skin. My muscles were also incredibly sore and I bet the reason why was because I strained my body too much.

A lot of stuff had happened yesterday-not only to me, but Blue as well, and I had blacked-out more than once. The only comfort I was feeling as I drifted into consciousness was the hand gently running fingers through my hair and ridding it of all tangles, letting the occasional curl bounce up. I groaned, mumbling as I woke, and tried to shift and change position as I realized I was hugging Blue's thigh, my chest resting in his lap. Unfortunately I only succeeded in making what felt like a raging fire course through all the cuts and bruises my body possessed. I went limp almost immediately upon feeling the pain.

Blue's hand paused temporarily as he realized I was awake, only to soon continue what it was doing. There was a squeak, informing me of Ao's presence, and I felt her nuzzle my right hand which was laying lifelessly on the ground. I cringed, hissing and nearly recoiling as an intense sharp pain shot all the way up from my hand and to my shoulder. A whimper unwillingly escaped and I felt completely pathetic due to my inability to move without hurting myself.

"?" Blue looked down at me and tilted his head. He was wearing his mask, the fur attached, and was fully clothed. I could still think clearly for the most part, and the childish part of me was quite relieved he wasn't half-naked anymore.

"It hurts..." I bit out in response in an attempt to explain, and I squeezed my eyes shut as I tried to bury my face in his thigh. My voice cracked, quiet and shaky, and it was hard to speak. "E-Everything hurts..." _Make it stop. Please, just make it stop_. Every bruise, varying from colors of purple to yellow, hurt at the slightest brush of cloth. Even my side was throbbing a little, but it was minuscule compared to everything else I was feeling. But despite it all I found myself curling closer to Blue, craving his comfort and affection.

For a few long moments we remained in silence, Blue not saying anything and merely petting my head as I laid there silently crying. Suddenly the pain hit me at full force as he slid an arm underneath me, lifting me into a sitting position effortlessly while sliding me into his lap. Blue leaned me against his chest and a small whimper escaped me as my head hit his shoulder. I felt him kiss my forehead and, even though I knew I shouldn't be moving as much I was, I found myself burying my face into the curve of his neck near his shoulder.

His left hand rested on my back, his other arm just draped loosely across my lower back. I didn't bother questioning how I ended up using his thigh as a pillow when I woke up; I didn't care. We cuddled in similar positions to this before anyway, so why would it bother me now?

I stopped moving and the pain lessened, though part of my body still ached because I was pressed against him. Even still I welcomed that tiny amount of pain as it mean that I could be near Blue-someone whom I trusted and cared about. I had nothing to fear if he was with me and I knew he wouldn't let anything harm me. He claimed I was "important" to him and selfish as it might be, I wanted to keep clinging to him. Even though it was yesterday it still felt like it was forever ago that I was laying lifeless on the floor, Yona and Yun nothing more than "dangerous" intruders who would hurt us. Blue, despite the emotional turmoil and pain he was in still tried to protect me. He stood between us, keeping Yona and I separated, because he didn't _want_ me to be hurt. At least, not anymore than I was.

But I don't want him to be hurt either... I doubt anyone could _physically_ hurt him, but I was scared of him being more emotionally wounded than he already is. The villagers had hurt him so bad... I just want to shield him from those who would try to harm him. I want to protect him, too, but... I doubt I'm strong enough.

I know I'm definitely missing muscle and I'm not too entirely sure how strong-willed I am. So protecting him was probably impossible. Blue, on the other hand, could probably lift my entire body up with one arm if he wanted. He was quite muscular and was the farthest from fat, and if his weight from when he was _crushing me_ the other day is anything to go by then holy hobgoblins he's packed with muscle. Most of that weight _was_ muscle and he was heavy enough to sprain my ankle! Even if I wanted to there was no way I'd be able to match, or surpass, him in strength. Maybe if I'm lucky I can just talk my way out of situations. I despise violence.

Doesn't mean I don't know that it isn't necessary at times. I don't like it, but I have to live with it. I guess the most I can do is just stand by Blue like I've been doing. It's not like I'm good at anything else.

I held back a sigh and just listened to his heart beat, able to feel it pounding away in his chest. It was calming and reassuring, so I focused on it.

It reminded me that he was alive and here with me, and that this wasn't a dream. It reminded me that we were far _far_ away from the villagers and that he hadn't left me alone. This pain was real... and so was our situation.

Thankfully, though at the same time unfortunately as my head pounded when he started to speak, Kija walked into the campsite humming to himself. He appeared so much better than before, skin now back to a healthy pale color, and was carrying a pile of sticks in his arms. He almost dropped them at the sight of me and Blue, and actually did drop them as he rushed over in a panic. "A-Are you alright!? B-Brown Dragon, what's wrong!?" I didn't answer, refusing to look at him.

While a part of me screamed that he was trustworthy, that he was someone whose hands I could let my life rest in, another part of me screamed _DANGER! DANGER!_ and I could only think of all the villagers who had beaten me. How _Ko-Ji_ had beaten me. Dad's words also rang in my head, odd as it was, about how _men_ were always more aggressive than females and how I needed to be careful. Add his words with the fact that it was only _men_ that had beaten me, it made some sense as to why I wasn't too keen on being anywhere near a guy if it wasn't Blue.

"Is it your side wound?" Kija asked, and I stiffened and froze as he reached a hand out towards me. The White Dragon saw this and froze, before something flashed in his eyes and he pulled away. "...I'll go get Yun. Wait here." He stood and quickly walked off, leaving us in silence once again. Everyone was gone from camp except us-I didn't know where Yona was, but I'm assuming that one tall guy went with her, and Yun was probably off looking for medicinal herbs. Isn't that what doctors or whatever do in this era?

"P'kyuu!" Ao squeaked, now on Blue's other shoulder, and let out a few more noises as she looked at me. "Kyuu, kyuu!"

"'m fine..." It just hurts. I'm blaming it on the huge amount of bruises that were littering my body and my sore muscles. It felt like I had ran a marathon. All that blacking-out couldn't have been good for me. "It just... h-hurts... a lot. B-But I'm okay."

"Kyuu!"

I was also really _really_ hungry. If I wasn't forced to eat yesterday then I probably wouldn't be feeling hungry right now.

 _I don't think there's anything Yun can do._ I just have to wait for the pain to go away and for my contusions to fade. That's how it always works. _I don't get Kija..._ I don't understand him one bit, or his obsession with me being a "Brown Dragon", but I'm scared to correct him again in fear that he'll yet at me more. He was... terrifying when angry. _Everyone's scary when angry..._ I choked, remembering _his_ face, and would have grabbed Blue's jacket if the pads of my fingers weren't seriously scraped up. It sucked even more than my side wound, as the tip of your fingers are extremely sensitive.

"P'kyuu!"

"I'm... n-not... contra-contradicting myself..." Ao doesn't know what she's talking about. "'m _fine_."

"Irene..." Blue's voice made me go quiet. It was also right next to my ear as he leaned his head down slightly so I could hear him clearer, the male speaking softly. "Ao is worried... you aren't well." Are you kidding me? I feel _fan_ -freaking- _tastic!_ Of course I'm not "well", Blue... but the pain will go away eventually. "Yun... will help you." I doubt it, but if Blue says so... "Sleep... until big brother gets back with Yun..."

Who the heck is "big brother"? Kija? When did they get so close that they're considering each other brothers? It took days, no-a _week_ before Blue would consider me a friend! How did they get that close in less than twenty-four hours!? What is this? Or... does Blue really just not like me? Was he lying when he said I was important to him? But why would he bring me with him if I was just a nuisance?

It didn't make sense. But the more I tried to convince myself the worse my headache became. Why would Blue bring me along if I wasn't important? Maybe guys just had that "instant connection" or something. What would I know? I was out for most of yesterday. I... I need... I need to stop. To stop doubting everything. I mean, I had issues back in my time but even then they were never this bad. Sometimes I'd cry myself to sleep, sure, but this was ridiculous. I was trying to _find_ reasons to make myself feel worthless. That's not good.

Even if it was true. _No! No, stop it. You're not!_ I can't even do anything. I could only ever scream and run and call for help against the villagers, and every time I hit them or tried to fight back nothing ever worked. I was weak. I'd, more often than not, get caught in the end and it was always up to Blue to save me. I... I couldn't even save myself from dying.

The only time I did something _good_ was when I stopped mother was getting impaled. And now... now I'll never...

I'll never see anyone again.

I started to cry again, but it didn't take long for me to pass out because of it. I was just so drained of everything-It... It just really took it's toll. Yesterday was a mess and today is the aftermath of what happened. I just couldn't take anymore. I was exhausted.

So I did what Blue said. I fell asleep.

* * *

When I woke up the last thing I was expecting was to find someone pouring liquid down my throat. It was actually _because_ of someone pouring liquid down my throat that I even bothered to wake up. My eyes shot open and I gasped, choking on the bitter-tasting liquid. I quickly turned my head away, hacking and spitting what I could out, but the person quickly grabbed my face and forced my jaw open, pouring more of the liquid in my mouth. "Just swallow it! It'll numb the pain! It's medicine!" I kept resisting and the person was unable to pull the bottle away as they knew I would spit out the liquid the second I had a chance, and I heard him curse underneath his breath. Eventually I had no choice but to swallow, as it was that or choke, and the boy... or girl?... finally pulled away.

He looked conflicted and worried as he stared at the half empty bottle, and watched with knitted eyebrows as I rolled over on my front and coughed, spitting and wheezing. My gag reflex was also acting up, wanting me to throw up everything, but I didn't feel like dealing with that pain so I tried to keep everything down. "Wh-What did you give me!?"

"Medicine," Yun bluntly replied. I felt dizzy. "And you ended up drinking _way_ too much of it. This is why you should have just swallowed what I was giving you without putting up a fight! What kind of idiot are you!?"

"S-Special kind of stupid," I forced out, trying to control my labored breathing, and looked around dizzily. "Wh-Where's Blue?" He... He isn't here. Why isn't he here? If he was leaving somewhere he would have woken me up to tell me. Did... Did they _do_ something to him? I froze, before turning to look at Yun sharply with horrified eyes.

I actually trusted him. I actually trusted him and-and everyone to not hurt Blue! I _believed_ for the slightest second that they wouldn't hurt us...

Oh god, my head. I'm feeling woozy.

Realization hit me. _They got Blue. They're going after me._ He tried to _drug_ me while I was sleeping and was claiming it was medicine to make it seem like he was just trying to help! I knew it. I _knew_ I couldn't trust anyone else! Oh god, what if Blue is already-No. No, no, no. I have to... I have to find him! I have to get out and away and find him. Then we'll leave. We'll leave someplace where nobody can find us. Where we can be safe and Blue can show his face without fear. Where he can be himself. _They're going to kill us if we stay put._ My thoughts were a mess and I was more paranoid than every. I could feel the adrenaline pumping even before I started running.

"H-Hey! Get back here, you idiot; you're injured!"

I have to leave. I can't stay here. I have to find Blue.

I found myself running in the direction I was being pulled to-a direction where I could _sense_ where Blue was. My body kept tugging, voices whispering in my ear, _Blue Dragon is this way. He's this way._ And from behind I could _feel_ the White Dragon coming towards me at an inexplicable speed. He was _fast_. I was slow and crippled, but soon the pain vanished and I was able to run on both feet, completely disregarding logic and reason.

I could even see Blue in front of me, walking away. And then I saw another person. The same person I saw before in one of my weird visions-the effeminate male with the brown hair and russet eyes. A dragon tattoo on the left side of his face, more masculine-looking than my slender dragon. He was taller and more thin than I was, but his shoulders were still broad. His face was round, like mine, but was definitely Korean. I felt like I knew him.

And then suddenly I was back in the caves, lost in darkness and torch lights heading towards me as villagers muttered to themselves. I was terrified and I looked around frantically, knowing I was cornered and trapped, and I cried out for Blue and for help.

Ko-Ji was suddenly in front of me, sneering, and it took all I had to move to avoid his attack. I stumbled, hitting the ground, and fumbled to push myself up. My sight was blurry now, tears stinging and welling up in my eyes, and I swore to god his eyes flashed blue as he extended a hand out to me. His hand morphed into a long, terrifying dragon claw and I screamed, scooting away, and soon he went back to normal and was grinning. I finally managed to push myself up to run away. "GET AWAY!"

I tripped and stumbled and slid, but somehow managed to get away from him.

But I only ended up slamming into his double and running straight into his fist, which rammed me right in the solar plexus. I didn't feel much pain, but what little I _could_ feel hurt like hell. He quickly slid an arm underneath my stomach and lifted me up, only making me more winded, and stared at his twin as he asked bluntly, "Lose something?"

"She's not a thing, Hak!" What...? Who's Hak? I couldn't think.

"Hak! Why did you hit her!?" Female. Very female. I don't... what? Dizzy and discombobulated, I could just barely make out a female with amethyst eyes. Her hair was on fire. I would have kicked the Ko-Ji doppelganger, but it was near impossible since I lost all control in my legs. "She didn't even do anything!"

"She was screaming and flailing and running right at me," He deadpanned, "What was I supposed to do?"

The girl struggled for a comeback, but was unable to find one. The first Ko-Ji... or... no... Where'd he go? Why's the White Dragon in his place!? _Blue... I'm scared. I'm so scared..._ I can't move or try and fight back; there's no way for me to escape. I was drugged and incapacitated and there's nothing I can do. They're going to... They're going to kill me. I'm going to die. Again. _I'm sorry... I-I'm so sorry..._ I'm leaving you all alone. I squeezed my eyes shut, clinging onto the stranger's arm as I remained draped over it and held in the air. I couldn't really feel it, but I knew I was crying.

"There was no need for you to harm her!" Kija growled. "She was just scared!"

"Yeah; of you."

"YOU'RE THE ONE WHO HURT HER! We need the Brown Dragon to _like_ us, not run away screaming in terror because of your reckless behavior!"

"Oh? Is that so? ...Are you trying to start something with me, White Snake?"

"Do _not_ call me that!"

"It's not my fault you couldn't even catch a runaway. Maybe I should think of something else to call you; this girl's more a snake than you are."

"I will _slit your throat_ if you do not stop!"

The female interrupted, wanting the fighting to end, "Will you both _please_ stop fighting!? You're scaring the Brown Dragon even more than she already is!"

Hak ignored her. "I'd like to see you try-" He was cut off abruptly, and I was sent flying, crashing and rolling on the ground as a blue blur barreled into him. I came to a stop on my front, and any air that I managed to get back was swept away once again. I regained after a few moments, still not able to feel pain, and shakily pushed myself up with my hands to see what had happened.

At first I thought it was a blue cat with a white stripe on the back, but as the hallucination went away and my vision cleared I realized it was Blue. From behind us Yun ran up to see what was going and what had taken so long for Kija to catch me, but he soon came to a stop as he watched in alarm as Hak and Blue wrestled each other. The two men proved to be of equal strength, and after a few minutes Hak finally managed to push Blue off of him-no, that's not right. He _threw_ Blue off of him.

My agile friend rolled for a good three seconds before coming to a sliding stop on his front, dust in his path as his foot skidded against the ground. Blue held himself up in a position very similar to a tiger ready to strike, one his palms against the ground, his fingers digging into the dirt, and his right hand gripping his sword handle in case he had to use it. His fangs were bared and his lips curled back, and if he wasn't wearing his mask and we could see his eyes I bet they would be slit dangerously thin from anger. For a second I thought he really _was_ a tiger or some other form of big cat. But then he went back to being Blue again.

"W-Wait, why are you fighting!? What's going on!?" Yun was freaking out. "Th-Thunder Beast, explain!"

"He hit me first," Was all he said as he readied his Hsu Quandao. I was just lost, brain unable to process what was happening. Why isn't Blue hurt? I mean, I'm more than happy to see he's okay, but I thought they had hurt him...

"Kija, do something! Stop them!"

"Why?"

"GAH! You're all idiots! You-Brown Dragon! Get your boyfriend to calm down!"

... _Huh?_ I blinked, but before I could say anything Blue had sheathed the sword he had just started to pull out and quickly turned his head, focusing his attention on me when Yun said "Brown Dragon". Next thing I knew he had cupped my face with his hands and was staring at me intently. I could feel his eyes boring into me from behind his mask, and as Hak lowered his spear in disappointment Blue spoke. "How... bad does it hurt?"

"..." I was still processing everything. As my brain sluggishly realized that Blue was perfectly fine I reached up without a second thought and pulled him down, wrapping my arms around his neck in a hug. He stiffened, surprised, before quickly reciprocating it by gently wrapping an arm around my back. He kept a hand on the ground to make sure we didn't fall.

"Irene?"

"...You didn't wake me up."

He made a sound, realizing his mistake and putting two-and-two together, and muttered quietly, "I'm sorry..." I pulled away, sniffling and rubbing at my face. "I'm sorry." He said this one louder and more clearly, and continued, "I didn't get here fast enough."

"It's fine." He's here now. That's all that matters.

He frowned, not looking like he believed me, and then turned his head to stare at Hak. He just looked surprised that Blue was even talking. "...Irene..."

"Yeah?"

A dark aura seemed to surround him. "...Can I cut him?" Hak tightened his grip around his Hsu Quandao at that and got in a stance, already accepting the challenge. "Please?"

What!? For a minute I though a devil tail popped out of his butt and the horns on his mask became reminiscent of a demon's. "No."

He frowned.

"No, Blue." _Though I'm seriously thinking about letting you punch him._ I was starting to feel the after effects of that hit I took. The drugs Yun gave me where strong, though I think my system flushed them out faster than it should've. I was seriously hallucinating when I started to run away. I mean, I'm still a bit delusional, but it's not as bad as it was. Hak's punch made it feel like half the bones in my body were broken. "Stop it! You're not hurting him." He was sulking. Damn it. _So adorable._ I freaking love Blue-he's the best. _But why do you want to hurt him so much anyway?_ I wasn't able to think about it as a sudden squeak startled me.

"P'kyuu!"

"Ao!" She jumped off of his shoulder and I caught her, cuddling her up to my chest. I then looked up at Yun and Kija, realizing I had forgotten to do something. "Sorry for running earlier. I thought you did something to Blue." They looked dumbfounded-well, Yona and Kija did. Yun looked exasperated as he face-palmed and Hak just looked amused at the whole thing. "You didn't though, so... yeah. I-I'm sorry." The guilt finally washed over and I lowered my head. "I-I shouldn't have... I should have known better. I... I'm so sorry." Just... the thought of losing him is... "I-I'm so sorry..."

"Forget it; it's done and over with now." Yun appeared annoyed and he was pointedly looking away from me. "I'm going back to camp."

I flinched. I really made him mad, didn't I?

"Don't mind Yun, Brown Dragon," Yona said as she made her way over. I stiffened and automatically grabbed onto Blue's arm, latching onto his sleeve. He looked down at me, before turning to stare blankly at Yona. "He's just a bit grumpy. I'm sure he understands why you ran away like that." I highly doubt it. Man, this is uncomfortable. I miss when it was just me, Ao, and Blue. It's difficult dealing with multiple people; it's suffocating. "We're nothing more than strangers. You probably woke up without him there, right?" I felt like a little child, but I nodded slowly. "He's all you have?" Another awkward, timid nod. "Then it makes sense why you were so scared. You don't really know if you can trust us yet, and waking up to find him missing was probably really scary. I know if I woke up in a place full of strangers and Hak wasn't there next to me I'd be really scared, too."

Hak promptly turned his head away, fighting against the pink that spread across his face. "You try to give everybody the wrong idea..."

Yona blinked, staring up at him in confusion. "What do you mean?"

"Forget about it, Princess. Just keep talking."

"But Hak-" She started, before thinking better of it and cutting herself off. She looked at me, only to blink in surprise when she saw I was hiding _behind_ Blue, poking my head head to stare at her. "Brown Dragon?"

"...I'm not a Dragon." I'm not sure how many time I've said it, and I could already see the White Dragon preparing another speech, but I quickly continued. "I'm Irene."

She looked stunned. "You... have a name?"

"Y-Yeah. Blue says it all the time, so... I didn't think I'd have to introduce myself." At least, he says my name when he's talking to me. I don't think I've seen him talk to anyone else yet besides Yona and Yun when they first met in the caves. Actually, scratch that, since we've left the caves he hasn't spoken to _anyone_ besides me and Ao. "A-And if you hurt him, I'll hurt you, so don't try anything!"

Right. Because threatening her about threatening the person you're currently hiding behind makes _so_ much sense. To my surprise, Yona giggled. "You're cute." I blinked.

Am... Am I supposed to be insulted or was that a compliment? I can't... tell..."Uh... thanks?" I think. Oh god, I can't even tell sarcasm apart from actual insults anymore! It's Middle School all over again. "Um... so... what's the deal with all the Dragon stuff?"

Kija, who had been waiting patiently for an opening to speak, quickly started to inform us about the story of the Crimson Dragon King and his five loyal companions. The four warriors, who fought front line and would give up their very life for him, and the healer who was his most trusted friend and adviser.

I almost started to believe that I could be a Brown Dragon, if only by chance rather than by importance, because of all the weird stuff that had been happening to me. The crash and my death, and the weird voice. The tattoo and the vision of the man I keep seeing-even the voices in my head spoke about me being an "adviser", and there was that moment when I literally seemed to take away Blue's pain- _absorbing_ it, actually. But... I don't even know how I did that. I don't even think I _could_ do it again. And my canines... they were sharper and longer. Not as long as Blue's or Kija's, but definitely longer than what they normally were.

Before long we started to head back, but pain once again began to take control of my body. I didn't protest as Blue picked me up; I knew he would only be stubborn if I asked to be put down. So I let him carry me, head hurting too much to argue, and I relaxed and rested my head on his shoulder. I wondered if the drugs Yun used on me were just meant for someone who was bed-ridden, as they wore out pretty quickly.

At least, it seemed like it did. It was almost twilight by the time we go back to the camp. Yun was cooking something, stirring soup that was in a pot. I pet Ao calmly as we neared, as I was still holding her while Blue carried me, and was careful not to drop her as Blue set me down carefully against a tree. "Thanks," I told him, as I knew if I tried to walk by myself I'd of ended up collapsing over due to my ankle. I seriously pushed it too far when I was running earlier. It hurt like crazy. Blue nodded and then sat down next to me-only to quickly get into a laying position on his side and rested his head on my lap. He wrapped an arm around my waist, and didn't really seem to care that I was slightly dirty from all the times I fell during my escape.

He doesn't seem to mind a lot of things, actually.

My hands still hurt, but it was mainly my fingers and the tips of them rather than my palm, so I carefully began to rub circles on Blue's back as I watched everyone get seated around the fire Yun had started. It was getting cold out. He also needed the fire to cook, so... two birds with one stone, I guess. The smell of food began to waft around and I could feel my stomach twisting sickly.

Suddenly I remembered something. "Oh, yeah! Yun, Blue isn't my boyfriend." I was in such a state of shock earlier, and my mind was so sluggish, I forgot to deny it. "He doesn't even know about that kind of thing-not really."

Everyone just stared at me like I was an alien with two heads. Well, three if you're counting Ao who was on my shoulder.

"I mean, he knows about couples and stuff, but he doesn't _know_ about them... makes sense?" I felt awkward and small speaking up like this, but I tried for a facade of confidence. "I mean, we're close-I mean, I _think_ we're close, but we're just friends." Yun stared at me, then at the male sleeping on my lap. He then turned back to the food, dumping in what looked suspiciously like tomatoes. _Gross._ Though... in my starving state it looked like the most delicious thing in the world.

"Poor guy." He muttered. I blinked. He's not seriously suggesting what I think he is, is he? Blue's innocent. He doesn't have thoughts like that. "Just where are you from anyway?"

"Huh?" Oh no. Everyone was staring at me. Yona looked especially curious, and Kija looked excited to hear what I had to say. Deciding to be as vague as possible, or at least attempt, I waved a hand in the air and said, "From the land of hamburger-the most delicious food ever." Well, no, that's a lie. Chicken is the best. I love chicken. "Okay, fine; I'm from a... a really big country. It's, uh... called America."

Yona looked confused. "I've never heard of that country."

"Yeah, it's... it's really far away. It... It can't really be reached."

"So it's like a secret city!?" Kija exclaimed, and I stiffened when he scooted closer. "What's it like?"

Uh... crud monkeys. "I dunno how to explain. Most teenagers I know are jerks, kids are... kids... most adults I've met are really nice, there's a lot of prejudice and hate, and while I don't really understand it it's there. There's also a high suicide count." At least, there is from what _I've_ learned in school. And... that kid...

"That's _awful!_ No wonder why you came here to Kouka."

I became quite depressed, recalling what had happened just before the crash. "Yeah..." I spoke quietly, eyes tearing up, and stared dully at the fur attached to Blue's mask. "Yeah, it is." I had almost forgotten about it. But, of course, how could I? Maybe I'm just getting used to the thought of death, having always been constantly threatened with it, but...

I sighed, leaning my head back and closing my eyes. I was done with this conversation.

Kija seemed to sense that and moved back over next to Yona where he had been sitting.

I had to wake Blue up for dinner, and he once again refused to let me eat by myself. I wondered for the rest of the night until I fell asleep if I should have also mentioned that it was considered "The Land of the Free" and how America let pretty much anyone from anywhere come in. While some of the people were racist, the country itself was not. But racism is everywhere, so it probably doesn't matter how I described it. It's just how life is. There are a lot of rude people out there.


	11. His Name is Shin-Ah

**For those of you who are ticked off at Irene's helplessless-just remember, Yona was just as bad at the beginning. XD Awa's the turning-point for Irene, whereas Hak's possible death was Yona's. WHICH IS WHY I AM SO FREAKING EXCITED TO HURRY UP AND GET TO THERE Unfortunately I have to type a few chapters for the weeks it takes to GET to Awa... T_T But you guys get fluff, so... MWAHAHAHAHAHA.**

 **Jihae and Jieun are also my favorite bun-buns in Dandelion. Like, I cried in all of them (though I still have yet to play Jiyeon as he's the last one) but I played Jihae first, which I cried a little, and then Jieun, which I completely SOBBED, and then went to Jiwoo and Jisoo. The typos kill me, and so does the repetition, but the story in itself is heartwrenching and the art is beautiful and it's like-AGHHHHHHHH. Jihae is so precious.**

 **I also think there's also something wrong with me. XD I'm not even sure what I was typing half of the time. ALSO- "Rae" is pronounced "REE" like the "re" in "Irene". I also can't write Yun at all. Blegh. I think Yona's turned out pretty good though. Hope you guys like this chapter.**

The next few days consisted of Blue following me practically wherever I went, which while should be annoying I found quite adorable. He was like a little duckling. Blue was just so precious sometimes, but I guess after what happened he didn't really trust me being alone with anyone. He seemed especially cautious around Hak, as whenever he neared me Blue would always cut in between us. My mind kept going back to what Yun had said- about how Blue acted like he was my boyfriend. I didn't understand what he meant by that, probably because I never _had_ a boyfriend before, but I decided it was simply because we were practically attached at the hip.

 _The kissing probably doesn't help much either, but it's not like it's a KISS kiss._ He, nor I, have actually touched lips. Maybe it was a Korean thing? I don't _think_ they're very touchy-feel-y. But then again I wasn't that touchy-feel-y until I met Blue and he's the only guy I'm comfortable hugging, nonetheless kissing on the cheek or jaw or whatever. I was definitely very clingy with all the females in my life though, so...it's not... _that_ weird, is it?

Looking back on it, it probably really was. I've never seen a normal pair of friends do that kind of thing-especially if they're opposite gender. Or maybe I'm just sheltered. I always stayed inside after all.

I blinked, staring intently at the source of my problems with knitted eyebrows and a confused face. It was maybe an hour or two ago that we made camp again, it having reached twilight, and Yun was once again working on dinner. I felt disgusting as I hadn't taken a bath since Blue and I left the caves, but when you're living in the wild there isn't much you can do about it if there isn't a lake or something nearby.

Waxing was apparently a thing though. Even the guys did it. Once the cuts on my arms and legs had healed Yona had taken it upon herself to make me into a hairless monkey. It wasn't like it was my fault though-it isn't like there were razors or anything in the caves! I can't help it and besides-I'm wearing pants! Bloody and torn pants, sure, but still. It's not like anyone would be _looking_ at my legs. But Yona explained that the hair removal was more for health-reasons rather than appearances, especially since we were out living in the wild, and so she used some kind of sticky paste and cloth on me.

Basically, I (and Blue, but he was being taken care of by Hak who looked less than pleased) ended up losing all hair that wasn't on my head and was in quite a bit of pain. Blue actually almost punched Hak-so I was told by Yun. I seriously didn't understand why Blue didn't seem to like Hak. I mean, I'm not big on him either, but I'm just scared of anyone who isn't female or Blue. Blue usually liked everyone, I think. But then again I don't know what goes on his head.

But anyway, back to current events... which was probably almost two whole weeks later...

Blue was sitting next to me, playing with Ao who was currently nibbling on his fingers, and I was sitting cross-legged next to him as I seriously pondered our relationship and how other people must view us.

I mean, there's no way we're actually a couple. Blue would ever see me in that light; he's too innocent to even think about that kind of thing and even if he wasn't, there's no way he'd view me like that. Yona maybe, but me? No. And for all we know he could be into guys, so that meant being in a relationship with him was impossible as I was female. _And while it could be one of those realizations of, "we're totally a couple aren't we"? I doubt that would be the case. But..._ Wait, why am I even pondering this!?

I was snapped out of my thoughts when I realized Blue was looking at me, having caught me staring. My face suddenly grew ten times warmer and I quickly turned my head, embarrassed and ashamed. I don't even know _why_ I'm focusing on what Yun said; it's not like I see Blue in that light either. I mean, I'm not dense but I second-guess things a lot which in turn makes it seem like I am... Or at least I like to think I'm not. I'm usually pretty aware of my emotions.

I mean, yeah, there's a lot to like about Blue, but I don't view him in that way. Or at least I try not to...

 _Oh god, do I!?_ No. No. There's no way. There is a _difference_ between _liking_ someone and just being really freaking attached to them.

"...Irene?"

It was as if I was shot with lightning. I jolted and whirled to look at Blue, alarmed, and stammered, "Wh-Wha-What is it!?" Wow. Way to lose your words there, girl. On the bright side, interacting with people who _aren't_ Blue meant my sarcasm was coming back- which is a good thing. "What's wrong?"

"Don't move." I stiffened when he leaned forward and grabbed my chin, lifting it up, and I could feel my heart racing loudly in my chest. A part of me wanted to close my eyes and hope that whatever he was doing would be over with soon, but I kept my eyes opened as I wanted to see what was happening. He leaned in close, a few inches away, and reached a hand to the side of my head. I was completely frozen.

And then he pulled his hand away to reveal a bug that had fallen and gotten tangled up in my hair. I unfroze and quickly yanked myself away, completely freaking out as I ran my hands frantically through my hair in a terrified panic. Blue watched for a moment before handing the bug to Ao, who greedily started to munch on it, and then placed a hand on top of my head to get me to calm down. I had tears in my eyes as I looked up at him, scared at the idea that there could be spiders or beetles or something else in my hair. "W-Was it o-only one?" I was shaking. I _hated_ bugs. I didn't understand how Blue managed to eat them back in the caves. "Th-They're all gone, r-right?"

He moved his hand down to my shoulder, nodding. I felt like a few years of my life jumped ship and faded. I let out a shaky breath, hanging my head. Ao climbed up onto Blue's shoulder as he scooted closer, petting my head gently to calm me down.

"What happened?" Kija, who had entered the camp with a few more twigs to help keep the fire going, asked in confusion and worry. He handed the wood to Yun, who stuck a few underneath the pot he was cooking with.

"The Blue Dragon found a bug in Irene's hair," Yun responded bluntly, not really caring, and at the word "bug" Kija shivered and turned his head away from the food, gulping and resisting the urge to throw up at the thought of insects and other disgusting little critters. "She freaked out."

"I-I understand..."

"Yun! Yun! Look what I found!" Yona suddenly ran into camp carrying some kind of plants with Hak following behind her calmly. Yona held out the plant to Yun, who stared at it in surprise. "This is one of the herbs you use, right!?"

"Y-Yeah! Where'd you find this?"

Yona paused, smiled sheepishly, then looked at Hak for help. He sighed.

"In a small clearing not far away."

Yun looked surprise that it was so close nearby and took the plant from Yona, smiling. "These are Chicory plants! They'll be good in case someone gets poison ivy or stung by a bee. Thanks." He opened the brown bag he had against his hip and pulled out a small jar that had a few plants that looked similar to the ones he was holding. He opened it and carefully put the plants inside. "I was actually running low on stock of that one." Yona simply beamed, looking quite happy. "Dinner's almost done, so you two go ahead and take a seat. You, too, Kija."

"Yes, moth-Yun!"

"I'm not your mom!"

"I didn't say anything!"

Yun scowled, glaring at Kija, and grumpily went back to stirring the pot.

In the middle of their conversations I had calmed down and Blue and I went back to sitting against the tree, Blue letting me use him as a pillow. I refrained from leaning against the tree, a little too paranoid now to do so after having a beetle in my hair, so I was laying against Blue with my head against his chest. I had my knees pulled up to my chest with my arms loosely wrapped around them, and Blue had an arm around me that was keeping me held to him.

From the other side of me I could hear leaves crunching and the sound of footsteps, and at a loud _Plop!_ I knew someone had sat down. Funnily enough, without even looking, I had a strange feeling it was Kija. Something kept telling me _White Dragon is here._ It was the same voice that always said the same thing about Blue whenever he was around, telling me that _Blue Dragon is nearby_ or _Blue Dragon is this way._ If I focused on that voice, that... _feeling_ , then I could almost "feel" a few others. One was quite close, while the other seemed to keep moving around. There was also a voice telling me about Yona.

"Are you two really just friends?" Kija asked as he peered at us curiously. "You're quite close."

Suddenly _very_ conscious of Blue as I remembered Yun's words I could feel my face heat up a little. I felt a little awkward now, but I tried to ignore it and pushed the thoughts to the back of my mind. Forcing myself to be sociable and faking a facade of cheerfulness, I held up my right index finger without looking at Kija and declared, "Best friends! We're known as the three musketeers."

"Three?"

Ao popped out from the fur attached to Blue's mask, announcing her appearance with a loud and adorable, "P'kyuu!" One would think that we'd have rehearsed this.

"Yeah. I'm Donald, Ao's Goofy, and Blue's Mickey Mouse."

"Who?"

"The Three Musketeers!" I actually turned a bit so I could look at Kija, making a confused and disbelieving face at him. Then I remembered. "Oh, yeah, I forgot... oops." They don't exist yet. Banana Muffins. Alright, then, let's change to something else- "Have you at least heard about _Mulan_ and her sassy dragon friend?" I couldn't stop the grin, knowing full well that should have caught his attention with his obsession with dragons. Yona looked this way, and even Yun appeared interested as he added a few more ingredients into the pot he was cooking. I knew they hadn't heard of it, but I wanted to at least talk about _something_. "She saved China and it's Emperor, and because of it her dragon friend got to go back to being a royal guardian. Ah, I think you might like _The Hunchback of Notre Dame_ more though-depressing, but it does have a happy ending." I'm always a masochist for sad stuff when it comes to stories. I then gained an idea.

Pulling away from Blue so I could look up at him I gave my usual toothy grin, smiling broadly. He stared.

"Do you want me to tell you another story later? I told you about _Beauty and the Beast_ and _Sleeping Beauty_ , but I never told you about _Hunchback_ or _Mulan_."

To my pure and utter delight he nodded. I cheered, clapping my hands in a very similar fashion to Madalena from _Galavant._

" _Mulan_ is amazing!" I gushed, already excited. "But _Hunchback_ is glorious-I love the reprise for the _Bells of Notre Dame_. The songs are just so _beautiful!_ " I may have been fangirling a little as I placed a hand against my face, recalling all the songs, and said, "'Cause the story's about this guy who was born deformed with a hunchback, and was taken in by Court Frollo after he killed the boy's mother on the steps of the church and almost killed him when he saw his appearance. He's lied to him since he was a baby and convinced him that he was nothing more than a hideous beast. But he learns the truth later on after experiencing some things. So basically, the story is: "What makes a monster and what makes a man"? It was one of Disney's first darker stories and it's so _beautiful_! Because it leaves you to ponder on people and basically says it's the inside that decides who and what you are and not your appearance. Another reason why _Beauty and the Beast_ is my all-time favorite, but _Hunchback_ is a close second."

"You have weird taste," Yun dryly commented. I ignored him, used to being told that, and as I opened my mouth to say something Hak cut me off.

"You talk a lot."

I froze, mouth open, and blinked as I visibly deflated. I then shrunk back, closing my mouth and letting my bangs fall and cover my entire face in embarrassment. _Don't look at me._

I felt stupid. I forgot, just for a moment, that I was with strangers. People who I didn't know and who _would_ care if I didn't shut up. People who get annoyed by my constant rambling. Blue and... and everyone else I had known were used to it, so it never bothered them. Half the people actually learned to tune me out when they wanted. Blue seemed to like the noise, as it filled up the silence in those dark and empty caves, so I was able to talk without fear. But these people...? They probably hated it. They probably hated _me_. I wasn't even meant to be here-not really. They had only wanted Blue. They didn't even _know_ of my existence until they saw me.

But Blue had asked me to come along and so I did. I'm just a burden to them. Another mouth to feed.

"I-I'm sorry..." I'm so, _so_ sorry. I'll shut up now. I won't talk again, I promise. I won't even eat, so don't worry about feeding me. Just give my share to Blue and Ao. They need it more than I do. I can... I can find berries or something in the woods. I've done nothing for you all, so I don't deserve anything you give me. "I-I'll be quiet." Any kindness you shown me is kindness that could be given to someone else. All I've done is mistrust, argue, and try to run away. I'm stupid and useless. _I still don't even know why I'm alive..._

"Hak!" " Yona scolded, frowning at her friend-or, more precisely, her bodyguard. "Look what you did! You hurt Irene's feelings!" I looked up in alarm, as despite how scared I was of Hak I didn't want him to get in trouble. At the same time I spoke, Blue had placed his hand on my head to comfort me.

"I-It's fine! He's right. I... I _do_ talk a lot. You can-You can even ask Blue." I laughed a little, grinning and temporarily closing my eyes as I tried to give off the impression I was okay. "I never shut up around him, so it's-it's not like Hak's wrong or anything. It'd probably _be_ best for me to shut up, that way your ears don't start bleeding from how high-pitch my voice can get." Always... I was always made fun of for my voice. It was partially why I envied other females who had some of the deeper voices. Mine squeaked constantly, as the more excited I get the higher and louder my voice becomes. "S-So-So don't be mad at him, okay? S'my fault."

Yona and Hak stared at me in disbelief, surprised, before Yona suddenly looked sad. I didn't know why. I didn't even get to find out why, because the second she opened her mouth to speak I eagerly turned to look at Kija and asked,

"How far away is the Green Dragon?" He looked startled, before a huge grin spread across his face.

"I see you're beginning to accept your duty as one of the five Dragons, Irene! But, unfortunately, the Green Dragon is very far away." I nodded, pretending that I found that interesting, and said,

"Ah, okay." I decided not to crush his hopes and dreams of me being a dragon. I'm still not entirely sold on it; I mean, _sure_ the signs _point_ to me, but... Fine, I'm in denial. Sue me. But I'm not in _da-nile_ if you know what I mean?

"Oh! And if you don't pardon my asking, how did you and the Blue Dragon meet?" I wasn't expecting that. Any and all words I could have said died instantly on my lips.

Blue's hand stopped petting my head and as I tried to think of an answer he spoke for me-something of which shocked everyone in the campsite. I think they just become startled whenever he speaks in general, because he does it so rarely around them that when he _does_ speak, it's always when everyone least expects it. "Irene... found me." His choice of words made me pause, a confused look growing on my face. His arms slid around my shoulders and I could feel his weight press against my back, the heavy male leaning against me with his chin resting on my left shoulder. Ao was now curled up in my lap, having jumped off of Blue and onto me.

But Blue's voice was _right next to my ear_. I did my best not to stiffen, fully aware of my heart racing in my chest. If I was tired before then I was definitely wide awake right now. _I-I'm beginning to think his voice isn't good for my health_. It always had its effects on me, but not quite to this extent. _I don't like him, I don't like him, I don't like him; Yun is crazy. Yun is crazy. Very crazy._ These feelings are just being spurred on by the delusion he put into my head. _Nothing is there._ Well, except Blue-who is VERY CLEARLY VERY CLOSE TO ME RIGHT NOW. His chest was pressed right up against my back. _Okay, Irene; just breathe. Deep breaths._

"What do you mean?" Kija asked curiously. He seemed oblivious to my current predicament. Blue didn't answer, but I felt him bury his face into my neck.

Don't do that, don't do that, don't do that-I haven't bathed in days! I'm gross! Why are hugging me?

Granted he hadn't bathed either-no one here has bathed in days-but still! I couldn't stop my tensing up this time. I inhaled sharply. _I swear to god he's doing this on purpose._ Nope. No. Don't think about it. Blue is innocent, remember? _Well, so am I, but my mind isn't! He's as pure as... well, how did those girls in Kimi no Todoke put it? _Blue was pure as white. _I don't want bad thoughts about Blue!_ Oops. Too late. _Damn it!_ Being here has turned me into a really vulgar person, hasn't it?

"I-I-I-" I was a stammering mess as I struggled to find words to answer Kija's question. I seriously think Hak is laughing at me right now. Yona appeared as innocent as Kija and Blue himself, and Yun just looked... well, both amused and annoyed at the same time. Maybe he doesn't like shows of affection? Oh, jeez, that is so not important right now! SPEAK, IRENE. "I ran into him!" I finally managed, blurting it out loudly. "A-And-And I mean that literally! I-I ran straight into him and I fell over. With Ao. Who I met before him. And then I-I think I fainted? I-I don't... I remember Blue and then waking up in his room, a-and I was patched up. Kinda."

"Patched up? Were you injured?"

"W-Was when I got my side wound." I was _choking_ on my words and I wasn't even crying. Seriously, this is pathetic. And why is it so warm out? It was freezing just five minutes ago! I don't like this... I can feel him breathing on my neck! Why do I have to be wearing a freaking man's kimono? Why not a normal female one that would actually cover my neck? "I, uh, woke up with it in the caves." Don't remember, Irene. Just say you don't remember how you got it. "Don't know what happened. But then I met Blue! A-And then we became friends, and then we met you guys." The end-good story time, everyone! Is dinner ready yet? I know I promised I wouldn't eat, but I'd give anything to get Blue off my neck right now! Literally!

But... I think our meeting was a bit more than that. The chances of my waking in the caves instead of some other place was highly slim-practically impossible. And if you think about it, the fact that "curses" and "dragons" and "time travel" actually _exist_ was too much of a coincidence. The necklace, the tattoo, and my death... they all had something in common. Even mine and Blue's meeting had something to do with it, and that was that someone- _something_ -was toying with me. Messing with my life.

I bet whatever higher being it was that brought me here was the one who initiated my death. They _wanted_ to kill me so they could bring me back with no way of returning home. That... _person_ or _thing_ or whatever they are had _wanted_ me to meet Blue. They wanted me here, right now, in this forest, with these people for some reason I don't know. But what...? Why choose me? I'm not important. If you were going to choose someone to send through time when death is at every corner, wouldn't you have chosen someone who'd be just a _little_ bit better at defending themselves? Who'd be more independent? Someone whose life actually has a meaning...

So what was the reason for grabbing me? What was so important that I had to die? Just _why_ did that person want me to wake up to Blue, instead of Kija or Yona, or even the two other supposed "dragons"? Why was it Blue specifically? I want to know. I _need_ to know.

 _"...Abi..."_

It wasn't chance or coincidence. It was just a fate forced upon me. If they hadn't then I never would have received that necklace from my aunt; I would have never been in that crash and I would still be at school with the few friends I used to have. Blue would...

 _Blue would still be all alone..._ Or, at least, he would have been until Yona and them found him. He'd be glued to them instead of me and probably not even speaking at all.

If I hadn't died, if that higher being hadn't messed with my life, then I would have _never_ met Blue.

I suddenly felt cold. I became all too aware of the heartbeat beating against my back and it giving off that comforting _Ba-Dump, Ba-Dump_. I-I never... _I never would have met Blue._ I wouldn't even have known that he existed. He isn't even _alive_ where I come from; his existence is probably almost wiped off the map because of how far away that future is. Did he have any children or grandchildren, and even more family past that? How many future generations did he have-is he _supposed_ to have? Am I ruining that because of my being here? What am I screwing up just with my presence? I-I can't... do that to him. But I...

I can't go back either. I don't _want_ to go back. I want to stay with Blue. I want to be with him. Through the best and worst of times, I want to be there next to him. I-I can't... I can't imagine a time without Blue. I don't _want_ to imagine a time without him there. It hurts so much imagining it and I-to me... Blue is... he's...

He's special. In a way I can't explain he's special to me. He's like an angel with how he's always been there. After death took me and I was brought back to life he was there. He was _there_ to save me and protect me so many times, and he was there to give me company and kindness and warmth... He was so selfless. And I was probably selfish for all this, but... thinking about it, I don't care what I screw up. I don't want a life without Blue in it.

Which means if I lose him, too, I'll probably go berserk and break.

 _I've become too attached._

Frantic screaming snapped me out of it and I lifted my head up, staring in confusion at Kija's panicking form. I blinked a few times, of which I realized my eyes were hurting, and that out of the corner of my eye I could see Blue staring at me with a worried frown. I quickly reached a hand up and upon feeling something wet I started wiping at my face with my sleeves. Why did I just start crying like that? I've turned into an even worse kind of cry-baby since I've arrived here in Korea. I used to only cry at sob stories and character deaths, but now... it's like a single depressing thought and I'm left in a mess of emotions. _I'm not THAT emotionally unstable, am I? Jeez._ "I'm fine."

Yun, knowing well that _something_ was going to happen if he didn't do anything, declared, "Dinner's ready!"

I wasn't all that hungry. And besides, I said I'd stop eating.

 _But if I don't eat Blue will force feed me..._ I sighed, resigning myself to my fate, and made to stand up-only to pause when I started to move because of a hand in front of my face. I blinked and looked at Blue, who softly said, "Don't move." Knowing what he was planning I sat back down, wondering why he was getting my bowl as well when my hands aren't even in pain anymore. Sure there are scabs from the cuts when they healed, but I can still grab it. _He never lets me do anything... But I guess it's my fault since I let him._ Holding back a sigh, I watched as he headed back over with two bowls, handing me mine, and sat down next to me as he began to dig in like the growing adult he was. I stared at him for a minute, trying to ignore how cute he looked when eating, and focused my attention to the sword he had strapped to his back. _He's going to say "no"..._

I don't want to. I don't want to fight. I hate violence and I'm scared of sharp objects. I don't ever want to hurt anyone or in return be hurt myself. I'm indecisive and I hate risks. I'm useless and pathetic and I can't even escape from bad guys properly. I get beat up and almost killed and/or kidnapped, and I always have to rely on Blue to save me.

I am the _exact_ person who I hate in shows. The girl who can't even _do_ anything for herself. I'm way too dependent on Blue. For... For _everything_ , really. I don't want to hold weapons and I don't want to be near danger, but... I _do_ have to learn how to protect myself, don't I? Even Yona was trying to get better at archery. I could probably shoot an arrow if I wanted, as I had practiced archery a lot when I was little and me, Dad, and my siblings lived with our grandparents on their farm, and my brother even had an archery set he let me use to practice shooting trees. I might not be able to hit a moving target, but if they stay still long enough I should be good. And with blades I knew where to aim, as if you go for the ribs the blade will get stuck and you won't be able to get it out. You want to go for the stomach and other soft spots. I think you want to aim for the kidney if you're going from behind... but I don't actually plan on stabbing anyone so that knowledge won't be necessary.

I just want to be able to protect myself long enough for me to get away. Without having Blue get involved.

I suddenly remembered my nightmares.

 _What if he gets killed because of me?_ I'd only be able to watch as he bleeds out. I-I wouldn't be able to... to do anything. I wouldn't be able to stop the men from harming him. Blue was strong, yes-I had no doubt that he could take down _both_ Hak and Kija, or even the strongest warrior alive in this era, but if he was fighting more than five and someone came up from behind? I had to be logical. Even Blue has his limits.

Food suddenly seemed a whole lot less appetizing when you're thinking about your best friend's possible demise. I _knew_ what it felt like to die and to have your life drained away slowly. I don't want that to happen to Blue. I don't want that to happen to _anyone_.

 _But if someone did try to harm Blue..._ I'd make them _regret it_.

The idea of learning swordsmanship grew better and better with each passing second. Because if anyone tries to hurt him or tries to take away his _happiness_... I'll be able to make them pay.

...

Hands clapping in front of my face made me shriek and jump, spilling some of the soup that was still in the bowl. Yun gave me a hard look, having knelt down in front of me, and pointed at the bowl in my lap as he said sternly, "Stop staring at your boyfriend and eat. Ao's already finished half of it for you!" I grew alarmed and panicked, not knowing what I should do first. Should I protest and then whine to Ao, or would that make it seem like I thought of him that way? Or if I whined to Ao would that make it seemed like I waited too long and that just proved Yun right? Either-or I would still sound like I was crushing on the guy- _Which I'm NOT, Yun, so quite calling him that!_

"H-He's not my boyfriend!" I stammered, refusing to look at anyone and instead stared down at my bowl, which was indeed half-empty due to the squirrel who was sitting on my thigh.

She was laying on her back, her tummy up with her paws resting on it, and she gave a happy, "Kyuu!"

"You could've asked first, Ao. It's rude to eat someone else's food without asking." I pouted at her, sticking out my bottom lip, and she gazed at me with big eyes. I sighed, giving in after a few moments. "Fine, fine, I forgive you." _I wasn't even mad, anyway._ I lifted my head up, blinking when I saw that Yun was staring at me intently with a scrutinizing look.

"..."

"Wh-What?" His stare was quite uncomfortable.

"You're strange." He deduced, and stood up slapping his thighs. I just watched him walk away blankly, utterly confused.

" _Haaaah?_ "

Yona giggled, hand held up to her mouth. She seemed amused. "That's Yun's way of saying he likes you!" Right... sure it is.

"S-Shut up and eat your food, Yona!" Yun shouted.

"You're adorable." Yun's face just turned even redder and he scowled, grudgingly taking his place beside her. Even Kija was laughing at him. Hak just smirked though. I looked down at my soup, which I think was actually just beef stew, and stirred it for a minute before taking a bite. I chewed slowly, savoring the taste, before getting another scoop and pausing. _Should I?_ No... No, god, that'd be embarrassing. I doubt he'd even go along with it. But... he did it a few times to me, so... _It should be alright? Though he did out of "necessity" rather than affection._ As well as I know Blue, there are still some things I don't understand about him. I blame it on the fact that he's a guy. Guy's are confusing. But then again so are people in general. _How should I ask, though? I can't just up and tell him "Say, ahhh"._

I felt stupid and embarrassed just thinking about it. Besides, this would just give Yun more fuel, wouldn't it? _Nope. Screw what other people think._ I took a deep breath.

"Hey, Blue...?" Why am I doing this? I'm so stupid, oh jeez... The male, his cheeks stuffed with food, stopped chewing and looked at me. _He's so adorable... No! Stop it. Bad thoughts-no!_ Why is that so cute anyway? It should look disgusting. There's something wrong with me. "Seeing as Ao already had a bite, I might as well share with you, so-" I awkwardly held the spoon up to Blue, berating myself in my head for sounding so rough about it. "You want it?" He just stared at me. _Oh god, he hates it! He hates it! REJECTION ALERT! REJECTION ALERT! OH GOD WHY DID I DECIDE TO DO THIS!?_ "Ah..." I felt like a deer caught in the headlights, which is actually kind of a cruel metaphor now that I think about it. I completely understand how those deer feel now.

Slowly chewing the food that he had stuffed into his cheeks he swallowed, and as I tried to think of a way to escape the situation without sounding like a royal idiot Blue suddenly leaned forward and bit onto the spoon with a, _"Chomp!"_ I was completely frozen, staring with wide eyes as I hadn't expected him to do that.

But he does love food, so I guess I should've known that the idea of getting more food would have won out... But why do I still feel so embarrassed?

"Lovey-Dovey." Yun stated bluntly, staring at us with his usual scrutinizing gaze. Yona stared with pink cheeks and wide eyes, and Hak just nodded at Yun words.

"Definitely lovey-dovey." Hak agreed. Kija, who was sitting on the other side of me, had just turned his head away with a hand covering his red face. Why can't I do that!? I'm embarrassed, too! Why is everything just so embarrassing lately!? I shouldn't be this flustered! I got over being flustered about things like this a while after meeting Blue!

"We're not lovey-dovey!" I protested, voice going up a few notches. "I-It's friendly! _Friendly!_ " Eliza let me eat her food all the time whenever she was full and often shared with me! And Andrew used to buy me Harvest Cheddar Chips back when I stopped packing lunch! He'd even get me stuff when I forgot to pack... It's not any different with me and Blue. Heck, I used pick-up lines on Eliza all the time trying to "win" her from Chris, but that was all in good fun! That was _friendly_. This is friendly.

Hak raised a finger and said, "Your voice squeaked."

"Sh-Shut up! No, it didn't! Y-You're crazy! You're all crazy!" During this Ao got back up and started to eat more of my food, and Blue had taken it upon himself to make the situation worse by leaning down and kissing my cheek as a "thank you" for the food. I froze and then whirled my head to look at him in alarm, but he had already gone back to happily eating. For a minute I wondered if there was any remnants of drugs in my system, because he looked like he was _sparkling._

I just gaped, wondering how he could just so easily go back to eating after that, only to hang my head in depression when I realized that I was the only one who was flustered.

 _I want to see Blue flustered, too..._ I was definitely sulking as I fell over, head resting against Blue's shoulder as my hair covered my face. "You all are jerks..." I don't like him. I don't. He's just... nice, that's all. And I definitely don't think he's cute when he's stuffing his face like he is right now. I don't. _He's not my boyfriend..._ Stupid Yun. Stupid Yona and Stupid Hak and Stupid Kija. Stupid Blue for being so innocent and cute and adorable and precious and-and... Blue. "I hate you all..."

"E-Eh!? Why me!?" Kija looked alarmed.

By this point Ao was sleeping in the bowl, stomach full of food that I was supposed to have eaten. Blue just seemed really happy about something.

* * *

The next morning we decided to head out. Breakfast was quick and so was packing, and as we were getting things together I heard Yona call Blue. I almost dropped the bag I had picked up, startled, and looked up at Blue in alarm and slight hurt. "Since when did you have a name!?" When did he get it? Why didn't he tell me? What the heck is going on!?

Yona went still and looked at me with big eyes, alarmed, and her hands flew to cover her mouth. I waited for a response from Blue-no, _Shin-Ah_ as he slung a bag over his shoulder and stood. He turned his head and looked down at me.

"Why didn't you ever say anything?" Why did you just let me call you "Blue" when you were given a name? Come on-say something! Don't just look at me like that. The recently named Shin-Ah lowered his head and tilted it, the corner of his lips tilting downwards thoughtfully.

"I... did tell you," He finally said. I blinked. When did he do that? "The night I got my name... I woke you up to tell you."

Oh... No wonder why I don't remember. I groaned and covered my face with one of my hands, certain I was red. "Y-You... You could have told me again, you-you know? I..." I wanted to be one of the first few people to call you by it. I took a shaky breath and lowered my hand, clearing my throat awkwardly. "W-Well, uh, Shin-Ah, right?" He nodded. "It's... It's pretty." I like it. "I don't really know what it means, but I think it suits you." His mouth opened slightly. Getting a firm hold on the bag I had almost dropped I awkwardly turned my head away, standing there uncomfortably as I waited for us all to head out. I was tired. I hadn't gotten any sleep at all last night.

All the stupid thoughts running through my head made me too nervous to go to sleep with Blue so close, so I ended up awake half the night. "Irene..." I tried not to tense up when I felt his hand on my shoulder. I was scared for some reason-I didn't know why. But I forced myself to turn my head and look at him, only to instinctively close my eyes as he leaned in. His lips brushed my forehead and I could've sworn my heart almost jumped out of my chest. I felt warm and tingly and weird. I never thought much about it before, but he always had a similar effect. I opened my eyes as he pulled away, only to almost close them again when he rested his forehead against mine. It hurt a little because of the mask, but I didn't really mind. "I'm glad..." F-For what?

Yona walked up soon enough with a warm smile and looked at... Shin-Ah. "Is it alright now?" He pulled away, looking at her, and nodded.

"Irene... likes it." Wait, what? Likes what-his name? _I'm so lost..._ Yona seemed to sense my confusion as she turned to look at me with a smile.

"He didn't want us to call him by name yet until it got your approval." Okay, scratch that, I'm even _more_ confused. "It just kinda slipped out earlier; I'm sorry."

"Hold up- _what?_ " I looked between her and the man I used to call "Blue". "Why would you need _my_ approval for _your_ name?" I pointed at myself, disbelieving, and then pointed at him when I said "your". "It's your decision of what to be called."

That was when I felt him grab my free hand. I looked down when he did and then back up at him, trying to ignore how warm and big his hand was compared to mine. "I don't... I don't want to be named something you don't like." He... _Oh god, Blue_.

"You think way too highly of me." I'm going to turn into a narcissist by this point. I raised the hand he was holding without pulling away and pointed at him, keeping my fingers wrapped around his. "That's dangerous. But I do appreciate the concern."

At the sound of giggling we both turned to look at Yona. She had her fingers curled up near her mouth again, a smile on her lips. "You two are so cute." Ignoring how warm I felt at that moment I pulled away from Blue and moved forward, grabbing her hand and raising it up to my mouth with a grin.

"Not as cute as you, _My Lady._ " I planted a light kiss on her knuckles, doing something that I normally only would have done with Bl-er, Shin-Ah and Eliza. I raised my gaze to meet hers and found a small slither of satisfaction at her surprised look and her pink cheeks. "Your beauty is overwhelming. Your hair like flames in the sun, and your eyes sparkling like stars in the night sky. Why, if I wasn't so enamored with Blue I'd probably try to snatch you away from that scary man of yours." Did I say that out loud? Yes, yes, I did. But I meant it in a friendly way. Not a romantic way. I just love seeing peoples reactions to these things.

Oh! I should do that on Blue, er, Shin-Ah sometime! Maybe he'll turn red... that'd be so cute.

"Oh my..." Was all Yona could say. Her face was red and I was grinning like a madman. She then turned to look at Hak excitedly, though he just appeared to be giving me sour face. "Hak! Hak, did you hear that!? I'm beautiful!"

"Yes, yes," He muttered, "Though I think the Brown Dragon is blind if she thinks your eyes look like stars." Yona pouted and scowled at him, turning her head away.

"Rude!"

I laughed. Yun, who had finished packing up his things, walked over and pat Yona on the shoulder, telling her, "Don't let it get to your head, Yona."

"Yun!"

"Hey, come on," I said in her defense, "Yona _is_ very pretty. Granted she may not be as pretty as Blue," This is going to be really hard habit to break, isn't it? "-but she's still quite lovely."

"Yes!" Kija came to help, standing beside me, "The Princes is v-very... very..." His face quickly went red and he became nervous as he stammered, "-b-beautiful..." He fiddled with his fingers as he tried to get the words out, and I came to realization that it wasn't _Yun_ who had a crush on her, but Kija. At his words Yona smiled at the White Dragon.

"You're beautiful, too, Kija!" He turned even redder.

"Th-Thank you..."

Seeing where this was going I had to make everything clear. So I grabbed Blue's hand and raised his arm in the air, declaring loudly, "Blue's the prettiest!" Yun snorted at my words.

"You're completely biased, Irene."

"I am not! Blue's the most beautiful person on earth!" There was a small gasp from behind me that came from Shin-Ah, but I didn't really pay much attention to it. "No one can surpass him!" He's beautiful inside and out, and no one can say otherwise. Well, they can, but they'd just be wrong. "Not even you, Yun!"

"I'm the beautiful boy genius," He retorted, "It's quite hard to reach my level of beauty. And besides, how can we judge how beautiful he is with that mask on!?" Blue's hand tightened around mine and, almost an immediate reaction, I jumped to his defense. I remembered all the breakdowns I've seen him have. Everything I had been told and witnessed. _It doesn't matter what you look like..._

"You don't need to see someone's face to know how beautiful they are!" That got everyone to shut up. They all stared at me in surprise and even Blue had turned to look at me with his mouth slightly agape. I wasn't about to bring up his past, so I decided to go with the main factor that proved his beauty. "Blue, no- _Shin-Ah_ is the most beautiful person I know, that I have _ever_ known. He's sweet and kind and selfless, and all he ever wants to do is help! In all my life I had never met anyone like that until now. I didn't even think that someone like him could exist. He is, in my opinion, an angel. So if you think there's anyone more beautiful than Blue you're wrong." Maybe I was being rude. Maybe I _was_ being biased. But I really didn't care. Blue was gorgeous... and I wanted the whole world to know it. "You are _very_ wrong."

There was a silence.

And then Hak started laughing. I was completely dumbfounded. Kija's face was a burning red-rivaling that of Yona's hair-and he had a hand covering his face. He was stammering something about "D-declarations" and "Bold". It was such a mess of words I couldn't figure it out.

Yona's hand were laced together in front of her chest, eyes wide and cheeks pink, and she was gaping at me. "I-Irene, you..."

"Are you _sure_ he isn't your boyfriend?" Electricity raised down my spine and I was on full alert.

"W-We're not dating, darn it!" I'm going to smack him! Can he just drop it!? What part of what I said made it sound like we were together? "And I told you, Blue's innocent! He doesn't really know what- _!_ " A yelp escaped me as I was suddenly pulled back, an arm wrapping around my stomach and another wrapping around my chest as Blue's hand escaped mine. I was feeling way too many emotions at this moment; I felt like I was going to burst with-with _something_. It was excitement and fear and _so many_ _others_. "B-Blue?"

He mumbled something into my neck, my back pressed against his chest, but I couldn't hear him.

"Wh-What?"

He lifted his head and said softly, "You're beautiful, too..."

 _O-Oh..._ Well, I think my heart just died a little. "U-Um," My voice cracked. "Th-Thanks, I think." I was never good at handling compliments, but this was ridiculous. I can't even _talk_ properly. "W-Well, uh, we should..." I tried to change the topic. "We should... get... going! Otherwise we'd of packed up everything for nothing! R-Right!?" Wait, when did I drop the bag? Oops. Need to... I need to pick that back up...

Blue reluctantly released me and I almost collapsed, my legs nothing more than jelly, and I picked the bag up off the ground. As Yun headed over to talk to Kija about their travel plans, I almost jumped out of my skin. Arms snaked around my waist and hands laced loosely in front of my stomach, a chin resting on the top of my head. I nearly dropped the bag. If he was going to hug me again right after letting me, what was the point of releasing me in the first place?

 _"It's weird if you hug me like that for so long."_

 _"How so?"_

 _"...You're not Chris."_

 _"So? Isn't it weirder if a guy does it?"_

 _"But he's my BOYFRIEND."_

 _"Oooohhh..."_

 _"Yeah."_

I placed my free hand over the recently named Shin-Ah's, recalling an old memory, and wondered what the difference was. We're just friends. We hug each other like this all the time. I'm a clingy person. So is Blue. _Is being a cuddle-bug just a bad thing?_ Why do people always have to make assumptions? _I made assumptions about Yun liking Yona and did the same with Kija... but I know I'm right about Kija liking Yona. It's so obvious. What doesn't make sense is why everything thinks Blue and I are a couple._ I don't give him those kind of stares and I don't see him in that sort of light. I... I just really care for him, that's all.

Besides, why would he want to be in relationship with me? He'd probably prefer someone nicer and prettier like Yona.

"Irene...?" I heard him say.

"Yeah...?" I turned my head to look up at him, feeling him remove his chin from my head, when I suddenly felt something soft press against the corner of my mouth. I froze.

"Thank you."

H-He just... He almost...

"Oh, Irene!" I didn't have time to ponder why he just did that or what he meant by "thank you" when Yun and Yona ran up, Yun shoving something into my arms. "Go find a place and change into this," He ordered, "We'll head out as soon as you're finished." I stared at him and then at the cloth package he shoved into my arms. "Have Yona help you; I'm sure you don't know how to put these on."

"Wait, what?" I asked, confused.

"We can't have you walking around dressed in a man's rags, and I bet that no matter how hard you try to scrub those blood stains will _never_ come out. I don't know how things work where you're from, but you have to look at least a _little_ civilized. As suspicious as he's dressed, he looks more the part than you." _Rude. True, but rude._

"He's not my boyfriend." As I said that I tried to pry myself away from Blue, who frowned and released me. He looked like he was pouting as he let go. "And it's not my fault I don't have proper clothes. All my stuff was left in the caves." I miss my jackets so _so_ much.

"Just hurry up and get changed. We'll be taking a detour around the mountains while confirming the Green Dragon's location, because if we head straight in his direction we'll encounter the Crimson Dragon Castle and Saika Capital. That alright with you, Yona?" The redhead nodded. "Good. Now get going."

I was still trying to come up with a comeback to Yun's insult when Yona had dragged me off. Blue was about to follow, but I had to tell him to stay put. I trusted Yona. I was also _not_ going to have him come with me to get changed; I'm sorry, but that's a line I won't cross. Pushing the "feelings" away I focused on the current situation at hand, gazing at the trees and bushes surrounding us. There was a whole lot more compared to where we slept and I was little paranoid of bugs.

I sat down after a few moments of awkward silence and started to open the small package, unwrapping the cloth, and held up a thin tan dress that looked similar to Yona's light pink one. "Where did you guys even get the clothes?" Yona, who sat down in front of me, smiled.

"Yun makes them! When I first met him my clothes were all tattered and bloody like yours, so he made me this outfit." I looked at her outfit: a light pink dress and red vest with dark burgundy accents. Tied around her waist was a dark red obi and a pink sash. She wore small black shoes. I looked at my bare feet. I wiggled my toes, trying to recall what it felt like to wear shoes, before looking back down at the rest of the clothes. I stood, carrying them, and walked around Yona so her back was facing me. "Irene?"

"I-I'll tell you when I'm done, so... don't look, okay?" I think she was a little surprised, but she respected my privacy and allowed me to get changed. Using Yona's outfit as a reference in my mind I put the tan dress on first, relieved it was long sleeve and stopped at mid-calf. Next was a light brown kimono with black accents. It's sleeves stopped at my shoulders, and the skirt ended at mid-thigh. Over it was a dark brown jacket with orange accents, and after I threw that on I needed Yona's help with the black obi that I put around my waist. She let me tie the orange obi-cord, and seemed amused when she saw I purposely tied it sideways. "Ta-da~!" I did an awkward spin, almost falling flat on my face, and said, "How do I look!?"

"Like you need shoes." I deflated, pouting at her, and she giggled. "I'm kidding, Irene. But was there not a pair in there?" I blinked and looked down at the cloth that was on the ground. I knelt down and opened it. There was a small black pair, just like Yona's. They looked my size... I hesitantly put one on my good foot, making a face at how uncomfortable it felt.

"It feels weird. I'm not used to wearing shoes anymore." I carefully put the other shoe on, Yun having removed my splint a few days back and only keeping a heck ton of thick cloth wrapped around it. I had to squeeze my foot in because of the cloth and it hurt a little, but I put up with it. I then stood, grinning at Yona. "Okay, _now_ how do I look?" I tried not to fall over. Wearing shoes felt really weird now.

"Good."

"Thank you, Princess." I said the last part jokingly despite knowing that she really was one, but Yona seemed to take it seriously.

"You can just call me Yona, Irene. I don't mind. Besides, I would like to have at least one female friend!"

That got me to falter. I stared at her warm smile, taken aback, and didn't know how to respond. "You... Uh, s-sure." Even though I'm annoying? I know how obnoxious I can be, but... "You can call me "Rae"." Yona looked confused. "It... Um, my family used to call me that. "Rae". Well, my Grandma actually called me "Sunshine", but everyone mostly called me "Rae"."

"Alright then, Rae." Yona said. She was smiling again. "Do you want to know a secret?" I blinked.

"What?"

"Before I found out you had a name, I was going to give you a name that meant the opposite of "Shin-Ah". I was going to call you "Haebinna"."

"What does "Shin-Ah" mean?" That was Blue's name... That meant she did actually choose something with a special meaning. But if mine was going to be the opposite of his, what does it mean?

"Shin-Ah" means "Moonlight" in the language of Kouka," Yona explained, making my eyes widen. As the sun began to rise it seemed to light up her hair, making it glow like embers of a flame. My heart lurched and my tattoo burned a little. "I was going to name you "Haebinna", for the sun. "Haebinna" means "sunshine", Irene."

"O-Oh..." I was at a loss for words. "Why... Why'd you choose those names specifically?" It was hard to speak. For some reason it felt like I was seeing an old friend after a very long time.

 _"My King..."_

"The Blue Dragon is a warm light-not burning like the sun, but cooler like the moon. When I was lost in the darkness he grabbed my hand and led me back to my friends. He was my guiding light. And you..." She closed her eyes. "I could tell how much he cares for you during that short time we were trapped. And talking to you and watching your interactions with each other reaffirmed it. In that cold place you were the bright light that shone through the dark; in his time of need you appeared to give him companionship. You were the first person to show him kindness when no one else would. You became his sun."

That's... "That's... poetic..." Yona opened her eyes and beamed.

"You think so? Hak always said I was bad at poetry! He's such a jerk sometimes." She scowled, but it was soon replaced with an affectionate smile. "But he's my friend, which is why I'm looking for the Four Dragons and the Adviser. I need their help to make sure Hak doesn't die protecting me."

"I... see." What am I supposed to say to that? What am I supposed to say to _any_ of this? "How close are you two?"

"We're childhood friends," She explained, kneeling down to pick up the abandoned cloth on the ground. I quickly snapped out of it and started to pick up my discarded clothes. "Hak is... he was appointed as my bodyguard by my father... so one day I hope to give him back his freedom. I don't want Hak to waste his life on me. That's why I'm trying to become stronger." She stood up straight and I lifted my head, staring up at her from my spot on the ground. "I want to be able to protect him and everyone else I care about."

Yona... is she really a princess? Or is she just a warrior princess?

I smiled. "I think you'll be able to do it." She looked at me, surprised. Yeah. I'm sure of it. "You'll be able to protect him. You'll be able to protect anyone if you put your mind to it." I stood, eyes closed, and thought about my own predicament. My reason for wanting to learn swordfighting is quite similar to Yona's. She's learning archery because she doesn't want Hak to die. I want to learn how to protect myself because I don't want Blue to die. I-no, _we_ don't want to see that happen to the people we care about.

Yona had lost her father, her home, and her kingdom... I lost my entire family and life. She only had Hak and I, who had no one, gained Shin-Ah. Yona and I... we both lost everything. _I have no right to complain._ Yona's probably faced death more than me. Being a runaway princess... people probably wanted her head on a pike. I stood up straight and placed a hand on my hip, using my left to hold my discarded clothes up to my chest.

"Welp, we better get back to the others, right? Otherwise Yun will kill us." I laughed a little, ignoring the stinging in my chest. Yona nodded, though she seemed to appreciate what I said about how she would be able to protect people. It didn't take very long for us to get back to the clearing where everyone was waiting. When we arrived I headed over to Yun, thanking him for the outfit, and he merely nodded. "Um, what should I do with my old clothes?"

"We can use them to light a fire later," He responded, "So keep them." O-Okay...

Doing as told I put them in one of the bags that had a bunch of random stuff and I picked it up, slinging it over my shoulder. We all headed out and after an hour or two of walking the environment began to change. Grass started fading and dying, and we began to encounter trees with less and less leaves. "Does it never rain here?"

"Fire Tribe land doesn't have a lot of good soil," Yun answered and stopped walking. "Hey, Shin-Ah, can you check to see if there's anyone around real fast?" Blue nodded and quickly moved to climb a tree. I froze when I saw how high up he climbed and watched as he removed his mask, staring straight ahead for a good ten seconds, before he put his mask back over his face and jumped down. I yelped and stumbled back as he landed, and I scowled at him.

"Don't jump off from so high! You could hurt yourself!" He stared at me and I sulked when he started to pet my head. Stupid Shin-Ah... what if you broke a leg or something? I know he's strong, and I know how agile he is, but still... you don't go jumping out of trees at such a high height! You could get seriously injured!

"Was there anyone there?" Yona asked. Shin-Ah looked at her and shook his head. Yun appeared relieved.

He exclaimed, "Then let's go!" Yun pulled out his map as we started to walk, talking out loud. "The ability to see far away is great! We can see even further than our current plane, and we're able to search for places where people aren't around!" Kija, who was walking beside me and Shin-Ah, agreed.

"It _is_ a nice ability, Blue Drag-" Kija cut himself off, pausing. Blue turned his head and looked at Kija when he stopped talking. Kija smiled warmly at Blue, saying, "I heard that the princess gave you a name. "Shin-Ah". It's a good name; you should cherish it." Blue nodded, acknowledging Kija's words, and I tried not to laugh when Ao accidentally dropped her acorn. I stopped walking to kneel down and grab it, and I quickly hurried to catch up to them. I ran in front of Blue and Kija, who stared at me in confusion as I walked backwards, and I held the acorn out to Ao who looked ecstatic.

She jumped off of Blue's shoulder and onto my arm, latching on, and I giggled as I quickly made my back over next to Blue. I handed Ao the acorn, who started cracking it open happily.

"Irene and Shin-Ah..." Kija said to himself, grinning. "They have the "Five Dragons'" feel to them!" I stopped watching Ao, who was now on my shoulder, and looked at Kija in confusion.

"Don't you mean Four Dragons?"

"Five," He corrected. "The Adviser is a dragon as well."

"But they're not a fighter." I'm not a fighter either, really... but I'm still in denial. I don't even _want_ to be a dragon. I don't know about you, but I'm not exactly keen on a fate being forced upon me. "They're a healer."

"That is true, but a dragon is still a dragon! I look forward to meeting our brethren."

"We're not related!"

Kija was insistent. "We're bonded by the Dragon blood we share!"

"I wasn't born a Dragon, though! The tattoo and fangs just randomly happened!"

"So you _do_ admit to being one!"

"No, I- _ugh_ , Kija. Stop it. I'm not a Dragon."

"Just admit it!"

"I refuse. I'm not exactly a fighter and I know squat about healing people, in case you haven't noticed." I gestured to my side, which still had stitches in it. "Besides, I wouldn't be able to give advice even if I wanted. I'm bad with words." Kija looked at me thoughtfully when I said that, peering over Blue, and said,

"I don't know... From what I've seen you're rather charismatic." I tried not to laugh at that.

"How so?"

"The way you stood up to those mean villagers!" He exclaimed, "That was amazing! And when you do talk to people you're always smiling and pay the utmost attention." Even though I tried to ignore half the time the first few days because you terrified me? "You always look them in the eyes." Oh... That's why he never noticed that. Oops. Then again, after the first few days I started to talk to him, so... I guess I can see that.

Now holding Ao, who had finished eating the nut in the acorn, I moved my index finger around and let her nibble on my finger. She was adorable. "I guess..."

"And when you stood up for Shin-Ah earlier, too! Your words were inspiring! It actually makes me want to try and become a better person as well!" He then looked at the man in blue himself, smiling widely. "Maybe I'll be able to become as kind as you some day? I might be able to get the Princess to say something like that about me as well!" His eyes were sparkling. Yona, who had heard the conversation, giggled and turned her head. She sent Kija a smile and said,

"But you're good as you are already, Kija. I like you for who you are."

I watched in amusement as Kija's face blossomed pink and he quickly lowered his head, mumbling to himself as he fiddled with his fingers. "I... I l-like... you, t-too, P-Princess." This is so awkwardly cute, oh my god. I love it.

"You're making a sour face again, Thunder Beast," Yun told to Hak.

"..."

 _Wait, does Hak like Yona, too!?_ She did say they were childhood friends. I couldn't stop the huge grin running across my face, but it faltered when I realized, _Wait, but Kija likes Yona as well. WHO DO I SHIP HER WITH!? Kona or Yak!?_ Well, Kija's nicer than Hak, so I guess I'll ship him with Yona... but Yona and Hak _are_ friends so he's probably not as scary as I think he is... but will Blue even let me talk to him? He doesn't really like him, I think, and always cuts between us whenever we stand near each other. _Hmm..._ What to do...? _Who does Yona like though? Does she even like anyone?_ But... there's also my issues I need to figure out. _Why am I being forced to be an "adviser" and why was I brought back to life? Did I even really die in the first place or was I taken away?_ I'm pretty sure I died. _And..._

I cast a glance at Blue, only to quickly turn my ahead away in alarm when I saw he was looking at me. How long had he been staring!? Is he still staring? I looked again and turned my head, realizing that yes, Blue was indeed staring at me. I felt awkward.

 _If I don't focus on them, maybe the "feelings"_ _will go away?_ I can't like Blue. Shin-Ah. _Him_. He'll never see me in that way and even if he did and we ended up together, how am I supposed to act? I don't know the first thing about being in a relationship. _I can't believe I'm even thinking about this; this is ridiculous._ I shouldn't even be thinking of it as a possibility. He put up with me for so long, but if that happens? _Instant rejection..._ And it'll be worse, because he wouldn't have a single idea as to what would be going on.

I then remembered him kissing me on the corner of my mouth.

 _Maybe he-_ Nope. No. Not doing it. Nope. I'm crazy, Yun is crazy, the idea is crazy; I'm not going to give myself hope. Why even try? It's going to be doomed anyway. There's never any hope for me. I'm just not a likable person.

Adults see me and think "Oh, she's adorable!" Teenagers see and think "Oh, she's obnoxious and loud!" Kids see me and think, "Oh, she's funny!" Toddlers and Babies see me and think "New best friend!" I can't be seen as anything more than a child. I knew for a long time I was going to die alone and you know what? I ended up right.

So why should there be hope for me in this new life?

Suddenly a burning pain on the left side of my face snapped me out of my self-hating thoughts. I stumbled in my walk, a hand from my left reaching out and grabbing my arm to steady me, and I placed a hand over my left eye, cringing. I grabbed at my hair, putting pressure against my eye lightly as if that would help rid me of the current pain I was feeling.

"!?"

"I'm fine..." I bit out, grabbing onto the arm he was holding me up with. I struggled to stay upright. My face felt like it was on fireand my left eye was burning, as if someone had poured acid on it. "Let's just keep going, okay?"

"Irene, are you certain that you're alright!?" Kija's voice caught everyone else's attention and I tried not to be mad at him. I knew he was just concerned, but I really didn't want anyone else to notice.

"I'm fine! It's nothing." I pushed myself away from Blue and marched forward, pulling my hand away from my eye and grinning. "Let's just keep going, alright?" I really want to know if the Green Dragon will have green hair. _I can't decide if that would look really cool or really weird..._ Everyone started to walk again and I soon found myself in the back next to Shin-Ah and Kija, and I was currently doing my best to ignore the scalding hot pain I was feeling. _Have to... pretend it's not there. I can't complain._ No matter how badly I want to...

We continued walking for ages, but soon enough our efforts were rewards as we arrived in a village. A barren village.

My tattoo started to boil, my left eye tearing up to the point were it burned even closing it, and as I stared at the villagers resting on the ground I thought I was just going to break out into tears completely. It was like my chest was being crushed underneath something-like a corset on too tight. It was hard to breathe and for a moment, just for a brief moment, I thought I could _feel_ how sick they were.

 **Things get interesting now... And seriously, why did nobody ever think of that? "LET'S LOOK FOR THE PERSON WITH GREEN HAIR! BLUE DRAGON HAS BLUE HAIR AND WHITE DRAGON HAS WHITE HAIR, SO SURELY THE GREEN DRAGON HAS GREEN HAIR!?" I mean, sure, there's the possibility the first person you see with green hair could just be a descendant, but still.**

 **Plot convenience, I know. XD Also, updates are very irregular, so... Yup, Yup. Read and review! Have a nice night-or day.**


	12. The Brown Dragon

**Haebinna is pronounced "hay-bee-nay". Also, sorry if this chapter seems a bit fast. Couldn't figure out a good way to transition it slowly. But Jae-Ha is next chapter, so... yay~**

I felt weak and faint, my skin crawling and my heart lurching painfully as I stared around at the dead village around us. My tattoo burned, boiling to the point where I believed that my flesh was going to melt off, and it took all I had to just remain standing. One would think we had entered no-man's land, the grass dead and withered. A few villagers were scattered around, leaning against worn huts: a young man, a woman and a little boy, and two men laying face-first on the ground. I brushed part of my hair out of my left eye, widening it and blinking a few times as I tried to clear it of the tears, and stared at them in what I could only describe as heartbreak.

But oddly enough, when I moved my bangs out of the way of my left eye, I realized the people were glowing. I thought I was hallucinating for a moment, once again blaming it on the medicine Yun gave me a long time back, so I blinked a few times. I then closed one eye, opened it, and closed the other, and I noticed that if I kept my left one open I could see it. Faint glows, brighter in certain areas of the people, but definitely glowing. I kind of wanted to describe it like how it looks whenever Shawn sees a clue in _Psych_ , but it seemed more like small lights pushed together in multiple balls rather than a highlight.

I lowered my hand, hair falling back into my face, and I stared at the town with a mixture of emotions.

If I... really _am_ the Brown Dragon then that means I probably have some strange ability as well. Kija said that the Adviser was a healer... granted they don't seem to know which color dragon is the adviser and which ones are the warriors, so they don't know exactly what I am, but... if what the voice said is true about me being the Adviser, then could the fact that the Brown Dragon being a healer have anything to do with the reason why these people look like they're being lit up by fireflies?

Yun's solemn voice broke me out of my trance, reminding me once again that the people in this village were dying. "This place... It's a village abandoned by the general and the king."

Yona stiffened at Yun's words, the girl looking like she had been shot in the chest. I wanted to comfort her, but I really didn't know how. Her father was once king, after all. How do you comfort someone with that kind of knowledge? That their _family_ willingly abandoned a village and its people, leaving them for death?

"This area... it hasn't cultivated crops in years and there isn't any water. It's likely because all the able-bodied men were brought to the capital to be trained as soldiers."

 _Troop conscription_ , I realized, recalling all the times I played _Dynasty Warriors._ Some of the men probably didn't even want to leave home, but were forced because of it being an order from a general or higher-up officer.

"Illness runs rampant," He continued quietly, "and only those sick and without strength to migrate are left to die here." Yun looked like he was remembering something horrible.

"That's awful..." Yona said, voice barely audible as she lowered her head.

"The village I was born in was like this, too," Yun started again, causing me to look at him in alarm. _He had to grow up in a place like this?_ "The land of fire is vast, but almost all of it is barren... Yet, despite this, the clan's leader, Kan Soo-Jin, keeps spending all the money on the military and only keeping it for the government." Yun sounded angry, but I couldn't blame him. The government as a whole is an evil thing; my dad taught me that. Humans are greedy creatures and if the wrong ones are given power they run wild-spending it only on themselves and letting only the good people suffer.

"What an idiot!" Kija growled, looking severely annoyed. Everyone looked at him in surprise. "My village received this information a long time back; Kan Soo-Jin, as a leader, should care more about his people!"

 _I don't want to judge without knowing him, but can someone like him even care about somebody other than himself? People in power are often assassinated, I think, because they're usually tyrants._ Even Yona's cousin killed her father because he thought him not worthy to be king, believing he could do better, and took his place as ruler. Her cousin sounded completely psychopathic. I looked at Kija, somehow managing to keep my voice steady, and said, "Most people in power can't; they're all too greedy. They... They get a taste of something and they just want more. You can't talk sense into them."

Kija looked frustrated, but ended up agreeing with me. Shin-Ah looked down at me, lips tilted down, and I wondered if he could tell that I was lying when I said I was okay.

 _And I promised I'd tell him when I was hurting... Damn it; it was a pinky promise, too. You can't break those._ Now I'm going to have to swallow grass. Gross. But... did I really have a right to complain-even if it was to Blue? My attention was brought back to the few sick people laying around the ground. _How much does it hurt? Just what are they feeling right now?_ Yun said that they were too sick to move. If they weren't sick... could they go find a new place to live? _Would they be able to find food?_

Would they survive?

My ears started to ring. I tried to figure out if there was anything I could do to help them, anything I could give them, but I had nothing on me that would help. It hurt. It hurt a lot knowing that there was nothing I could do to help these people. I wanted to cry. I grabbed fistfuls of the coat I was wearing, hating the world and its cruelty. I despise seeing people in pain. I loathe seeing people upset. And I hate not being able to _do_ anything...

I just want to help them, but I can't because I don't. Know. _How._

A suddenly cough made me jolt and if it were possible I probably would have jumped out of my skin. I whirled my head around to see one of the men on his front hacking and coughing and just throwing this huge fit. I made to step forward, but the knowledge I had made me come to an abrupt stop. _There's nothing I can do._ There's nothing I can do to rid him of his illness-the most I would be able to do is rub his back to ease the pain. But then what? Leave him to rot here in this abandoned village?

Yona, who was acting without thinking, started to head towards him only to be stopped by Yun. The brunette fixed her with a look.

"Don't get too close," He warned. "You'll catch his sickness."

The redhead looked like she wanted to protest, but Yun gave her no time to do so as he moved past her and headed towards the man. He knelt down beside him, pulling a small pouch out of his bag along with an apple and a bamboo canteen.

"It's not a cure, but here's some medicine and water. There's also an apple for you to eat." He set them down and made to help the man sit up, but Yona was already there and helping him. Yun watched silently as Yona helped the man into a sitting position, leaning him against one of the houses, and she quickly grabbed the canteen and lifted it up to his lips.

"Drink this," She said gently, pouring it into his mouth as he greedily drank. After a few gulps Yona pulled away and the man gasped, breathing heavily.

 _I knew there were people like this back home in the cities and other countries, but I..._ I never actually saw it with my own eyes. It never really affected me because I wasn't there. But now... all I want to do is help. They're _dying_ and I want to make them better, but I can't.

A gloved hand placed itself on my shoulder and squeezed it lightly. My chest tightened and a lump formed in my throat, my eyes watering from more than just the physical pain I was feeling.

 _"Heal them."_ The voice whispered, _"You can heal them."_

"A-Are you from Saika?" The stranger got out. Yun shook his head slowly.

"No; we're just travelers."

"I-I see... Then... have you been to Kuuto?" Nobody said anything at that and the man merely continued, his eyes misting over as he looked like he was about to cry. "I... I heard that a new king's been crowned. I wonder what he's like...?" Hak suddenly started to move forward. Yona, as if knowing this was going to happen, turned her head and stopped him with a look, giving him a small sad smile. He frowned, but did as she silently asked. "The previous king, Il, was a horrible ruler. He only thought about not making waves, bowing to foreign pressures. The five clans disunited and the kingdom knew _nothing_ but chaos. He... he didn't even try to save _us_ -the weak people. J-Just... Just whose king was he?"

Yona looked like she wanted to cry. Through my hair I could see with my left eye that her heart was glowing brightly. _She's hurting..._ I realized. My tattoo boiled even more, but I was rooted to the spot. I couldn't move even if I wanted to. Looking at the man in front of us mainly with my left eye I noticed that there was a cluster of glowing lights around his throat, chest, and legs. His forearms, too. Almost his entire upper-body was glowing brighter than the rest him. _Is that... where it hurts him most?_ I wanted to reach out; I wanted to grab his arm and pull those lights away from his body.

The man raised his hand to the sky, almost as if trying to grab hold of the shining sun. "I hope... that the new king is a good one. I hope that _he_ can change this kingdom." His hand, shaking, lowered and his arm dropped to his side, the man too tired to keep holding it up like that. He was far too weak. The man turned to look at Yona, giving her a warm smile and grateful eyes. "Thank you, miss. I can't remember the last time someone had touched me."

"No..." She said, voice cracking a little as she gave him a weak smile, "Please, get well soon."

 _"Orders by the King."_

Queen. Orders by the Queen.

A hand grabbed mine, fingers wrapping around my own, but I didn't notice. I could barely even feel my own legs moving as Shin-Ah dragged me along, following the group down the village street. I could only stare, my left eye burning as it focused on the sick people we were leaving behind. _I need to help them. I need to heal them._ I wasn't even sure if the thoughts were mine anymore. It was like they were mixing with someone else's.

Yona's voice snapped me out of it. I blinked a few times and turned my head, staring in confusion as she suddenly ran off, declaring that nature was calling and that she didn't want anyone to follow. Blue looked at Ao, silently asking her something, and the squirrel jumped off his shoulder and chased after the redhead. He knew something was up. I think he even knew that something was wrong with me. He still hadn't let go of my hand; in fact, he was holding it even more tightly than before. Like he didn't want to let go. Like he was afraid to.

Yun suddenly plopped down on the ground, sitting against a house with his knees pulled up to his chest. "I... couldn't say anything," He admitted quietly, "because I also think poorly of King Il. But... for Yona... he was the only family she had."

I wasn't able to say anything about her father; I didn't know him or the kind of things he did during his reign. All I know about this era is what I'm told. Whether her dad was a good or bad ruler... I couldn't say. I don't think Shin-Ah could either, really; he was in those caves for almost his whole life. Forced into hiding with no knowledge of the outside... the two of us couldn't say anything even if we wanted.

"I doubt anyone will mourn the passing of King Il," Kija said solemnly. "He'll probably go down in history as the "Cowardly King"." He closed his eyes sorrowfully and frowned, clearly upset. "After all, it's not like anyone will care about the feelings of just one princess..."

"True," Hak said, speaking after all the silence. "A world without weapons or conflict where no one gets hurt is just a pipe dream. But..." He closed his eyes and opened them again, certain and trusting in his words and the memories he was recalling. "I just can't think of the man who firmly believed in his ideals and spoke about them without trembling as cowardly or foolish. That man... if he were indeed cowardly, I would not have served him." We all watched as Hak pulled his Hsu Quandao away from his shoulder, staring at it as he gained the face of one who remembered something unpleasant. "I will _always_ regret not being able to protect him that day at the Crimson Dragon Castle."

Despite knowing that I should stay quiet, I found myself talking anyway. I stared at the ground for a long moment, brain processing everything everyone was saying, and I said, "Wanting peace... isn't a bad thing." If her dad was a pacifist, then... I think I can understand where he's coming from. I raised my gaze, meeting Hak's, and for the first time I didn't feel scared of him. I actually wanted to reach out and comfort him-along with everyone else here. "It's not cowardly or foolish to want to make everybody happy. I... I don't know anything at all because I'm not _from_ here, but... from what I keep hearing it just sounds like he didn't want anybody to get her. Sure, he.. might of went about it the wrong way, but... he probably just wanted to satisfy everyone. No violence or bloodshed... he probably thought he was doing everyone a good thing."

Hak stared down at me for a long moment, before he turned his head away. "Yeah..."

"You agreed with him," Yun said, gazing up at Hak. His eyes flickered to me for a moment before back to Hak. "Yona's father was more than just that to you... You regarded him as your master."

"Of course."

If Yona's father really was an awful king... then I don't think these people would talk about him like they are. Yun admitted that he thought poorly of him, but Hak instantly jumped to his defense. Even Kija seemed to feel bad for the man who was once ruling over the country. Blue... he remained silent during the whole thing. It made me wonder if it was because he didn't know what to say because he knew nothing about what had happened outside of the caves he was living in, or if he just felt bad for Yona and the people who were dying. _And then there's me, who's not even part of this country._

What right did I have to speak on Il's behalf? I tried to stand up for him without knowing him or anything; I'm just a stranger. All I know is what I'm told. This is _their_ country and _their_ monarchy. I shouldn't even be listening to this conversation now-not really. Even now I felt like I was suffocating. This conversation just reminded me of my role in all this-how I'm in a land that I don't know. In the caves I could pretend-it got easy after a while, but now... when I'm facing things that are screaming at my face and reminding me that everything is so unfamiliar? _I... I need to go..._ I can't stand here any longer and listen to this.

I tried to tug my hand out of Shin-Ah's, but the male held firm and simply looked down at me with a confused frown. Recalling what Yona said I used the same excuse.

"I... I need to go to the bathroom." I felt awful for lying, but if he didn't let go now I was going to burst out into tears and I really didn't want him thinking that he was the one who made me cry. He would beat himself up over that for who-knows-how-long. I still haven't told him about my nightmares of him dying; he'd probably freak out and find some way to blame himself for those because, technically, in a way he ended up making me cry. Even if it was just in a bad dream.

"I'll walk with you..." I'm not going to get lost; this isn't the caves. Thanks, though.

"I'm okay! Just... Just stay here; I'll be back soon, okay? Stay with Kija." I don't think the White Dragon will actually do anything. He seems to like Shin-Ah. "If someone tries anything... tell me."

"What would I do?" Kija asked, offended. Hak snorted. "I'd never harm Shin-Ah!" Who said I was talking about him?

Raising a finger and pointing at him, I declared bluntly, "I don't trust people." Kija looked like I stabbed him in the heart. Yun even looked a little offended. Hak, however, just raised an eyebrow at me. "I trust you guys though," mostly, "so... yeah." My voice cracked a little. I seriously needed to get out of here. "Keep an eye on him." I pat Blue lightly on the arm. "I'm fairly certain he could beat up anyone who tried to attack him, but... I'd rather be on the safe side. What if-What if bandits or somethin' shows up? A-Anyway... I'll be back." I could recall all the time a bandit had entered the caves... It was during one of the first few days I started living there with Blue. He had attacked me and chased me, threatening to rape me and sell me, and even talked about using me as leverage against Shin-Ah. It was the first time I had ever been beaten like that.

The memory caused chills to run along my spine, and I was suddenly more grateful that there were people to help the blue-clad male fight. I didn't want anyone to sneak up from behind and kill him.

 _Don't... think about it, Irene,_ I thought as I started to walk backwards, quickly turning around and heading away from the group.

As I left I could hear Hak ask Shin-Ah curiously, "Just how strong _are_ you?" He sounded a little like he was challenging him, but I don't think Blue realized it.

"..."

"Now you refuse to talk? That's a bit unfair."

"...Sorry..."

"Ah! He said something."

It didn't take long for me to get out of earshot, but by then the ringing had increased and I found myself going back the way we had all came, eyes burning with tears and my left eye boiling like bleach was poured on it. I almost collapsed, but I somehow managed to keep myself going. I felt faint and weak and dizzy.

 _"Help them."_ The voice spoke as I passed a man laying on the ground. I wasn't even sure where I was walking. I was just letting my feet guide me wherever. All I had known at that point in time was that I wanted away from the group. I didn't even want to be near Blue right now, which was something new as I _always_ wanted to be around him. I guess even emotions can mess with someone and make them need time alone. But... even then, I wasn't alone. I was surrounded by strangers. Weak, sick strangers who were dying and desperately needed help. _"You can heal them."_

And then I was standing in front of the old man on the ground. My head was throbbing, my ears were ringing, and I thought half of my face was going to melt off, but despite it all I still found myself kneeling down beside the unconscious man and placing a hand on his back. It was almost as if there was someone guiding my actions, pushing me along and telling me what to do. My necklace felt like it was burning against my skin.

 _"Lock."_

There was a tugging in my chest, as if there was something wrapping around my being and latching onto the soul of the person on the ground in front of me. I could see and locate every single glowing orb in his body with my left eye, almost as if a fog had lifted. It had only been a dull glimpse before, but now that I focusing entirely on the energy surrounding him and the orbs of light that were located on his body it was as if my vision had cleared.

 _"Locate."_

The clusters were mainly around his back and shoulders, and his neck and legs. Even his head was quite bright as well.

 _"And take."_

Almost if someone was controlling me, as if I had done this a million times before, I imagined the energy around us _pulling_ those bright lights away. They went from the areas I listed and swirled around in his body, locating and fusing together around his lower back before I moved them up and towards my hand. The lights flowed through into my hand and up my arm, reaching my forearm before exploding into a million tiny lights-resembling that of fireflies-and faded in the air. It was beautiful to watch.

The weight suddenly released itself from my chest as I gasped, leaning forward and coughing into my hand as I became deprived of energy. The man on the ground gained color quickly, looking much healthier than before despite the malnutrition, and began to breathe easier. His back moved up and down at a more normal pace, and it was then I realized as I caught my own breath-

 _I'm a freaking Dragon._ No... But... it helped this man, right? _If... being a Dragon means I can help people, then..._ I'll do it. I don't like it, and I hate the fact that I have a destiny forced on me as it was because of it that I died in the first place, but if it wasn't for it I wouldn't have met Blue/Shin-Ah and... this man probably would have died. _At least... the ability is nice, I guess._ Dizzying, though. Maybe the more I use it the less painful it'll become? At least my face doesn't hurt anymore.

I reached over and shook the man gently, trying to wake him. "H-Hey... are you okay?" _Please tell me I didn't screw it up_. The man groaned and after a moment pushed himself up, shaking his head and groggily opening his eyes. He looked around in confusion before stopping to stare at me, stunned.

"You... You're not human." Excuse me? That's rude. "What did you do to me?" He placed a hand to his head. The old man looked severely confused. Well, I say "old", but he's probably only around in his early sixties. Not that old. "I..." He suddenly placed a hand over his stomach, which was probably grumbling. "I'm hungry..."

"Do you, uh... still feel sick?"

"I'm old; of course I feel sick!" I recoiled, not taking kindly to being yelled at, and shrunk away as I held my hands up in surrender. I thought he was going to hit me.

"I-I'm sorry!" Please don't be mad.

"But... I don't feel like I'm gonna keel over anymore." The man finished, pushing himself up slowly. "My back doesn't even hurt. You... You're not some sorta witch, are ya?" He looked at me with narrowed eyes and I couldn't help but flinch at the title.

 _"She's a witch! A monster, just like him!"_

"N-No... I'm anything but that." Without realizing it my hands had curled into fists. The old man noticed.

"Then how long are you gonna sit there? If you're a god or a doctor, get to workin' on the others. I'm gettin' outta this village while I can walk!" O-Okay... I watched as the surprisingly energetic old man started to slowly march his way out of the village. Suddenly, he stopped. He turned his head to look at me. "Say, what's yer name, missy?"

"O-Oh, uh..." What should I say? "Um... call me "Haebinna"." I'm not entirely sure why I felt like I had to hide my real name from him, but I decided to anyway.

"Well, is that so? Name's Chiang. Have a nice day, miss. Thanks for the check-up."

"O-Oh, uh, y-you, too." That... happened. I watch the man walk away, not entirely sure what just transpired, before shaking my head and getting up myself. I headed over to the other man-one who appeared younger, but... he wasn't glowing. And when I knelt down to check his pulse... "Oh god..." He's dead. H-He's...

I felt cold. Tears pricked my eyes. A lump formed in my throat. I choked.

 _I-I... hope you're happy wherever you are, sir._ I thought, before forcing myself to stand and make my way over to the woman and her child. I know I was taking quite a while-I had probably already been gone a little over five minutes. Blue was probably already paranoid, having known I was lying when I said I was okay, and he probably knew that I wasn't even using the restroom. _That's the second of third time I've lied to him today... but I seriously need to help these people. I can't let them die._ I can't. Not if I know I can help them now.

The woman appeared wary of me at first, but after watching me place a hand on the sick old man and how he had bounced right up earlier she seemed just a little more accepting. "Wh-Who... are you?" Her voice was hoarse. I stared at her, tucking my bangs behind my left ear so I could see fully, and noticed that she had quite a lot of golden lights surrounding her neck. "No... _what_ are you? Y-You... You aren't human. Your eye..."

"Shush." I can't think with her talking. I felt the familiar tug and pull and the latching of the soul. I focused the energy, though now it felt like I was by myself and it was a bit harder to control the orbs of light. I pulled the orbs from their respected areas to the woman's chest. They fused into one huge glowing orb and I guided them from there to her shoulder, down her arm, and into my hand where they flowed halfway up my arm before breaking apart and fading. It reminded me of multiple things-fireworks. Fireflies. Stars. It was mesmerizing to watch, but unfortunately I think I was the only one who could see it. "Okay, you're done." I dismissed her, but she stayed still and watched as I did the same thing to her sleeping boy.

By then I felt like I was going to throw up. I was nauseated and my ears rang. My head throbbed, my stomach twisted, and it felt like all the blood was rushing to my head.

"Y-You..."

"Go," I choked. I had a hand cover my mouth, fully aware that my nose was now bleeding. My vision was blurry. I had trouble seeing straight. "Find... somewhere else to stay."

"Th-Thank you...?" The woman seemed confused and the child, who was still sleeping, groaned in his sleep. The mother shook him, waking him, and the boy mumbled.

"Mommy...?"

"We're leaving." The boy looked at her in confusion and then around them, before his gaze stopped on me. "This woman got rid of our sickness. Isn't that nice?"

"You're... a doctor?"

I wasn't sure how to answer that, so instead I raised a hand up a wiggled my fingers at him. I saw multiples, but I forced myself to say, "Magic." It seemed to satisfy him and he got up, the woman tugging his hand. The boy was smiling and waving his hand. He looked tired, but he wasn't such a deadly pale anymore.

"Bye-Bye, cat lady!" I blinked, gazing at the multiple images of the boy in confusion and disbelief. _Cat... lady? What...?_ "I'm so confused..." Oh god, my head. I swayed a little. I managed to stay upright until they were out of view, but my insides continued to feel like they were being twisted and like something was reaching inside me, trying to tear me apart. It was very difficult to breathe by this point and it felt like most, if not all, of my strength was stolen from me. A hand shot up to my mouth as I felt something acidic bubble up my throat and I ended up throwing a coughing fit very similar to the stranger from before.

Wet and sticky liquid hit my hands and I found myself collapsing forward, convulsing and spitting out blood as I vomited. I ended up falling on my side, breathing heavily as the world faded in-and-out of view. I think I was going to pass out at any moment. My ears were ringing so loud I thought my head was going to split open.

But somehow, through all that, I could hear footsteps. Very light footsteps. They stopped in front of me. Someone in orange knelt down beside me, a hand resting gently against my head. I could just barely hear the stranger say in a scolding voice, "You shouldn't push the little lady so far, Dragon God Sir... She's still just a baby chic. She can't handle the consequences of curing disease. Silly, Sir..." Who... what? I felt the stranger roll me onto my back.

Things went dark for a moment and when I came to I was resting against one of the buildings. My vision was still blurry, but I could just barely make out blonde hair and a smile. Green scarf...

The stranger held a finger in front of his lips, still smiling, before reaching forward and patting me on the head. "Be more careful next time, okay? People care about you, Ma'am." With that said the stranger stood, stretching loudly with a yawn. There was a loud _Pop!_ from his back. He slumped over almost immediately, a hand on his back. The stranger looked like he wanted to complain, but a weird look crossed his face before he suddenly dashed off, his messy blonde hair flying behind him.

The person vanished from view quite quickly, being surprisingly fast. My head throbbed, and as I wondered who he was exactly I remembered that there was still one person left. Body feeling almost completely numb I used what little strength I had left to push myself up, resting all my weight against the wall of the house as I leaned against it. I was close to hyperventilating, my breathing extremely shallow, and the world spun as I moved. I felt like throwing up again. Slowly I stepped forward, the ringing in my ears now gone. I could hear voices.

The man was nearby... he was sleeping. If I can just... get to him, then...

Shoving the wall and sending myself stumbling forward I tripped over my feet and fell, hitting the ground with a loud and painful thud. I was woozy and lightheaded and I ended up coughing again, spitting out the blood that made its way up my throat. I eventually had to drag myself over to the man, moving only by sheer willpower at this point, and as the footsteps grew louder I reached a hand over and grabbed the man's arm. He groaned, his eyes flitting open.

My left eye widened, focusing intently on the glowing orbs, and my chest tightened. There was the tug and pull, and the locking of his soul into place. The man froze, as if he couldn't move.

"Irene!"

I pulled those lights away, converging them into one golden ball of light, and dragged them towards my hand. They went past my elbow, up my shoulder, and had only just reached my neck before they exploded into million of tiny lights and fading.

And then I was on my back, gurgling and choking on my own blood.

There was a female scream, a male's cry, and I was rolled onto my front by somebody. I was choking, vomiting- _gagging_ and spilling out my insides. Red was everywhere. On my hands, on the new kimono Yun gave me, and everywhere on the ground. I couldn't move at all. I was just being held up in a sitting position, leaning over and throwing up everything I had to offer.

"Oh god-She's-"

"Wh-What's happening to her!?"

"You'll die at this rate, Irene! Stop it!"

I can't stop. I can't make it stop. My blood felt like it was rushing through my veins at an incredible rate; going forwards, going backwards, stopping, and then flowing almost as if it were multiplying. It was as if my body were rejecting it. And then, with one more final convulsion, I stopped, gasping and inhaling sharply and greedily for air that had been taken from me. I coughed harshly, wheezing and crying and all together just looking like I was going to head to the other side at any given moment. I still couldn't move, but my head was throbbing and pounding so hard that eventually everything just went black.

* * *

 _"I really did go too far this time... But you were the one who made the decision to continue what we had started, so I'm not entirely to blame. I merely showed you HOW to cure them. Healing the sick is the most dangerous thing to do, especially if it's a disease, and you being human..." A sigh. "I'm a selfish god, aren't I? Shu-Ten certainly knew what he was talking about when he lectured me all those times..._

 _If this was how things were in the past, perhaps Abi would have been the one yelling at me instead of Shu-Ten. If there was anything that man knew how to do it was to yell. Yelling at a god... perhaps that's the reason why he was my favorite human. Aside from the king, of course, but it wasn't like he was human originally. Oh, I'm confusing you, aren't I? Heh... the ramblings of a dead man... I'm just a half-life now._

 _But my spirit is bound to you, and whether it's by choice or chance you're my embodiment. My incarnation. The unlucky soul who has to deal with the shortcomings of being a human. Perhaps that's why you ended up in such a state; healing the sick is far more difficult than healing the injured. And after pushing you to do that before trying to heal injuries first, the least I can do is give a little more life to that weak heartbeat of yours. Just look at how bad they're all crying!_

 _It makes me wonder... Just how mad was Shu-Ten after I dead? Was Abi and Guen upset? And... yes... HE was probably the most broken one. Directly after the King, and then losing the other three years later... The Yellow Dragon truly is the one who deserves the most sympathy. When you meet him... tell him, from one friend to another, that I say, "Goodbye" and... that it was, "Good to see you again."_

 _Of course, you probably won't even remember this. You'll think it nothing more than a dream if you think it as anything at all. The burdens you will bear... Human. Just know that this was never a fate I wished upon anyone, but when your immortality is stripped from you and your blood can not be passed down... there is little choice._

 _Now... wake."  
_

* * *

When I woke up I thought I was outside in the middle of winter. I hadn't felt so cold since I used to wait outside for hours on end waiting for my school bus to show up. It always showed up at different times, so I never knew if it was going to be really late or extremely early. After what usually ended up over half an hour during winter Dad would always send me a text or call me telling me to head back to the house and that, because of not being able to breathe during winter, I was just going to stay home because he couldn't drive in that kind of weather without injuring himself.

The thought made me worry, my heart twisting inside my chest, and if I wasn't so busy shivering and coughing and trying to get air into my own lungs I probably would have started bawling at how badly I missed him. He always used to throw things at me about how one day he was going to kick the bucket, and he knew that always made me start to cry, but I never thought that I would actually have to live without him or any other family member. Sure, my siblings moved out; so what if I was lonely then? I got to see them still. I switched houses between parents every week like I've done my entire life-as far as I was concerned it was always going to be that way, even after I graduated. I'd write books and give them the money and it'd be fine.

But... to lose them all at _once_ and...

I went into another coughing fit, tears stinging my eyes, and I choked as I curled up into a shivering, aching ball. My body was sore and hurt every time I moved; my chest felt like someone had reached in and yanked my organs around a few times before stitching them back into place, and my bad ankle felt like someone had smacked it once or twice. It still being a little sprained... well, it really freaking hurt. I choked, goosebumps riding all along my skin, and as I started to breathe normally and my head stopped pounding I realized it was night time. The stars were out, covering the dark sky in an array of designs, and the wind felt like ice against my skin.

I wheezed, still breathing a little heavily, and opened my eyes that I had been squeezing shut previously. "...Blue?" I asked, breathless. His sleeping face was right in front of mine. In fact, now that I think about it, I ended up rolling onto the side that had the hand he was currently keeping a firm hold on. I quickly turned my head, coughing into my shoulder, and winced. My throat hurt. My voice was also a little hoarse-like I hadn't spoken in days. _What happened?_

There was a village... and sick people. And this morning I found out Blue had a name-

"Shin-Ah..." Why did I forget that?

Without thinking I reached a hand towards his face, brushing his bangs out of his forehead, only to freeze when I saw a white sleeve on my arm. I blinked and pulled away, staring at it, and then down at myself. _Is this... Yona's?_ It looked like a white _juban._ _Wait, do Koreans even wear jubans?_ Oh, what do I know about culture-I'm a stranger to this as much as I am to the relationship I have with sir blue hair over here. I shivered again, trembling like a chihuahua. I didn't understand why it was so cold-why _I_ was so cold.

I was also really freaking hungry. And thirsty. Though for some reason I can taste oranges- _Gross_.

Sitting up after uncurling Blue's fingers from my hand I looked around, pulling the blanket that was on me up and around my shoulders. I tucked it underneath my chin, teeth chattering slightly as I tried to figure out where I was. _There's Hak and Kija..._ They were sleeping in their usual spots whenever we camp-Hak's almost always against a tree, and Kija always slept on his little make-shift bed with the blanket and pillow. I noticed a tent and wondered if Yun and Yona were in there, or if Yona was out practicing archery again. She seemed to do that during night a lot; I woke up more than once hearing the sound of arrows piercing trees.

Shin-Ah was next to me, Ao curled up against his chest, and had probably been there since he decided to go to sleep. But why was it night? I still couldn't remember what happened. _He told me his name, we entered an abandoned village, and-_

A blonde boy and a smile. Crimson. Disease...

A hand shot up to my throat before I suddenly pulled it away, staring at it in horror and then down at myself. I was still shaking, probably from the blood loss (which would also explain why I feel like I took a dive in a winter lake) and I could only remember _vomiting_ up thick globs of blood-so much where it made scarlet puddles. I had been covered in it, and now I was in white-a color so pure and innocent it almost made me sick to think about how I was tainted in such a deadly color earlier. _There was so much blood..._ Did I faint? How far away from the village are we? How am I alive? Shouldn't I have needed a blood transfusion after losing that much? Or was it less than I thought? But that can't be-I _know_ how much blood I lost; I saw it! _No, how did I end up expelling it anyway?_ It wasn't like my lung was pierced. I definitely don't have tuberculosis either...

Was it... was it like Blue's?

I understood him a little better now.

 _If... healing people makes me sick in return... what would happen if I healed an injury? Would that injury happen upon myself?_ Say, someone was bleeding in their arm and I fixed it-would I end up having that injury instead of them? How does this ability work? _I'm a dragon... I'm a Brown freaking Dragon._ Curling my fingers for a moment I stared at them before I buried my face in my hands, unable to stop the fresh waves of tears. _Did Shin-Ah see me like that? Did Yun or Yona o-or anyone else see me like that?_ They had to have seen me. Why else would I be here and in Yona's clothes?

Did... Did I scare him? _I doubt the others would care; even after I tried to say that I trusted them after claiming that I didn't trust people as a whole, they probably think me cruel._ I don't trust people; I wasn't lying. After living in the caves I found the only person I could trust was Blue, and after meeting Yona and them I began to branch out a little-Yona and Yun, and I was trying with Kija; I really truly was. I'm just not good with people and Hak terrifies me. That punch of his had left me with bruised ribs and an overprotective Blue. But... Yona trusted him; she claimed they were childhood friends and even once said that if she woke up in the middle of nowhere without him beside her she'd be scared. That showed how much she relied on him; how much she cared. I want to trust her judgment, so I want to trust Hak. I want to trust _everyone_ here. But... the only one I can trust wholeheartedly without doubt is Shin-Ah. _I'm a mess..._ I sniffled, hiccuping a little as I coughed, and cringed. "My head hurts..."

"...Nn...?" Blue made a noise as he shifted, the hand that had been holding mine earlier grabbing and pulling at grass, and he groggily opened his eyes. I watched as he moved, the male tiredly getting up and looking like he had missed a few hours of sleep. The moonlight hitting him just right, and my eyes finally adjusting to the darkness of the night, I noticed that his eyes were swollen and red. _Was... he crying earlier?_ My heart lurched painfully. I felt awful. That was probably my fault; he was always such a worrywart. "Ah..." He stared at me, surprised, and then his eyes turned disbelieving.

I gave a weak grin, tired myself. "M-Mornin', er, afternoon, sleeping beauty."

"I... rene...?"

"What; n-no hug?" I joked, though I don't think my body could handle a Shin-Ah hug at the moment. I think it might just break at a single touch. Talking itself hurt. "I feel loved. I wake up in pain and I don't e-even get a single "How are you"? Rude."

"..." He didn't say anything, just staring at me. His mask had fallen off the side of his head when he sat up, the hair on the opposite side of his head sticking up in every other direction. The sight made me smile a little, as honestly it was the cutest thing. Everything about him was cute. Or adorable. Or precious. Or-Okay, that's enough. Everything about him is just lovable.

And then, after all my effort to fight it, the cold chill came at me in full force. The hairs on my neck stood up and I jolted, shoulders scrunching up and teeth chattering uncontrollably as I reached up and hugged myself, rubbing my arms. "Wh-Why is it s-so c-cold out?" Another shiver.

"It's... warm tonight..." He said in confusion, tilting his head, before his eyes widened and he opened his mouth slightly in realization. Next thing I knew he was up against me, wrapping the fur from his mask around me. He had put the mask back on his head in the process of doing so, but didn't cover his face. Ao, who was now awake, was placed on my chest and was held up only by the arms that I was hugging myself with. Shin-Ah pat her gently on the head before he suddenly picked me up, sliding an arm around my back and underneath my knees. He took me, the blanket, fur, _and_ Ao over to a nearby tree where he set me down, before sitting down himself and wrapping an arm around my shoulders, pulling me to him so my head rested on his chest. "Is... this better?"

I was just silent, completely stunned bu his actions, and was only snapped out of it due to a cough. I quickly turned my head so the cough hit my shoulder, and tried to think of a response. My head hurt a little.

"..." His hold tightened a little, Shin-Ah keeping his arm around me, and said, "It's... not cold anymore... right?"

"O-Oh, uh..." I swallowed, biting my bottom lip nervously as I rested my head against him, "It's... It's k-kinda hard to be c-cold when you're h-here with me." I feel all weird and tingly whenever I'm with you. Wait... _Oh god, why did I let myself say that?_ I buried my face in the fur that was wrapped around me, embarrassed.

 _Ba-Dump. Ba-Dump. Ba-Dump._

He had stiffened in surprise for a moment before he relaxed, planting a kiss on the side of my head, but his heartbeat suddenly caught my attention. Because I was currently using his chest as a pillow I could feel and hear it, and... it picked up. His heartbeat went just a little bit faster when I said that. _That's interesting..._ I thought, more than a little curious now. Not moving, but smiling a little mischievously now, I couldn't help but comment,

"You're fr-freaking adorable, Blue." I nuzzled my face against him, shifting a little and getting more comfortable, "I adore you." So damn cute, you are.

Ah-it did it again! His heart sped up again.

"Isn't that r-right, Ao? Isn't he s-so c-cute?" Ao squeaked and climbed up onto my shoulder, standing on her forelegs and pressing her nose against a slightly pink Shin-Ah's chin.

"P'kyuu!"

How everyone wasn't awake yet was a mystery to me, but I _am_ speaking pretty quietly because of my throat and if you think about it, Shin-Ah isn't very loud when he speaks. He _is_ however the kind of person that when he talks you shut up and listen to, because when he talks it's worth hearing. I love hearing his voice. I love being near him. I love cuddling with him. And even though I hate silence, I don't mind sitting in quiet with him. It's funny, really. With him I don't mind a lot of things.

"..." He was silent, turning his head away. He looked embarrassed-even his cheeks were red. _It's been a while since I've seen him divert his eyes from me._ He's gotten quite used to me looking at his eyes; I'm a little surprised he doesn't let anyone else see his face. He's changed a lot since we left the caves, but... _He probably thinks the others will be scared of him if they see his eyes._ I guess he was still skittish about that, but living for so long with people being terrified just by _looking_ at you... I guess I could understand. One look from him and they were sent running for the hills; I know pretty well that's how it works-I've seen them run from Blue. It's how he rescued me all the time without hurting anyone. They were too scared to confront him that they just ran away whenever he appeared-unless, of course, it was bandits or something.

I shivered again, but seeing how swollen in eyes still were I couldn't help but asked, "Do your eyes still hurt?" Shin-Ah blinked and looked back at me, confused. He was blinking a lot tonight, and I bet it was because of it. As pretty as they are, he should just close his eyes and let them rest. "They're swollen." Even though I pointed it out Shin-Ah didn't say anything and merely lowered his head, the golden orbs misting over slightly. "Sh... Shin-Ah?" _Maybe I should have kept quiet, but... I want to know what really happened._ Was he crying or did something else happen? They didn't find a stream and he got some kind of ancient Korean shampoo in his eyes, did he? _Jesus, that would hurt._ "Are you okay?"

He closed his eyes. His lips started to curl back, giving me a small view of his fangs, before he took a deep breath and appeared to be trying to calm himself down. His jaw tightened and he opened his eyes again, looking down at me. I stared. Ao sat on his shoulder, mimicking his actions and peering down at me with her big eyes, and then Shin-Ah's face was suddenly very close to mine. His forehead was against mine, his eyes closed, and he was so close that our noses were almost touching.

"Don't... do that again." I blinked, stiff in surprise. _Th-That... what?_

"Hah?" I'm confused. Is he talking about the villagers?

"You... promised you'd tell me when you were hurt... and you had almost... Irene..." His voice lowered, shaking a little, and his words had struck an arrow into my chest. I wanted to cry for being such an awful friend. Shin-Ah opened his eyes, locking them on mine, and I was rooted into place. He reached a hand up slowly, resting it on my neck with his thumb against my jawline. "I can't lose you. You said... you wouldn't l-leave me. So..." His eyes glistened with tears and as they threatened to fall I could feel my heart shatter into a million pieces. "Swear."

...What?

" _Swear._ Swear that... n-no matter what... you won't leave." But I...

"I didn't... I didn't want them to die, Blue. I-I can't... I couldn't just w-walk away knowing that th-they would-"

" _Irene._ " He cut me off. I quieted, unable to argue with him, and found my resolve crumbling. I felt ready to cry. Shin-Ah's eyes were desperate and pleading, and he even looked _scared_. "Please..."

"I... I already told you, Blue," I began, swallowing thickly as a lump began to form in my throat. "Un-Unless you hate me... Unless you tell me to leave a-and actually _want_ me t-to leave... I'm not going anywhere." I wanted to wipe that look off of his face; I don't want to see him so frightened... and I especially didn't want him to be so scared because of me. "Shin-Ah... _Blue_. I am _never_ leaving you, and if... s-someday I did..." I took a deep breath, trying to calm myself down as I met his gaze, and finished, "I would _always_ come back. Wh-Where you go, I go. Remember?"

I will _always_ mean those words. So wipe that look off of your face.

"Where I go... you go." He said quietly, the look of relief in his eyes almost heart-wrenching. "Irene..."

Not knowing what else to do I reached a shaky hand up out of the fur and raised it to his face, and despite how his tears felt like fire and ice against my skin I wiped them away. He leaned into the touch, closing his eyes, and whispered so softly I almost didn't hear it,

"Thank you..."

"You really need to stop thanking me for everything," I told him, smiling lightly in amusement and affection. "I don't even do anything." His eyes opened again. So beautiful... happy and sorrowful, and shining like a child's when they're allowed a cookie before dinner. "You're going to make me a narcissist." Always getting so worked up over me... I'm not even worth it. So why...?

I turned my head and craned my neck, lightly placing a kiss on his cheek near his mouth. I then pulled away, scared that I may end up doing something else, and just rested my head on his chest.

"I'm so tired..." And cold. But he's so warm... and so is the fur. I sighed and yawned, only to cough into my shoulder again. "Ow. Jeez... My body hurts."

"..." Blue said nothing in response and just pulled his hand away from my neck, instead messing with my hair. "You should... sleep now," He murmured after a few moments. "You need your rest."

"Mm..." If I have to. I kinda just want to stay up all night and cuddle, but... "If y-you insist."

He stopped fiddling with my hair and just rested his head against the tree he was sitting against, closing his eyes. He was probably really tired, too. Ao, who had been sitting on his shoulder this whole time, wrapped herself around his neck and squeaked before closing her eyes. We were all exhausted. Too much crying, too much emotion, and just... too much of everything. It was a long day.

I fell asleep rather quickly, Shin-Ah's breathing calming me down and easing me into sleep. I wondered what tomorrow was going to be like.

 **Difference between incarnation and reincarnation: Incarnation is when a soul is sort of inhabiting a body. A reincarnation is when a soul is reborn into a new body.**

 **I WAS going to have the whole ending scene go completely differently- but I figured he'd be in shock that she woke up at all and with her personality she wouldn't really give him time to react properly. So instead of him tackling her straight up upon the realization of "HOLY CRAP YOU'RE ALIVE" it took a little longer. He didn't focus on it until the end when she brought up his red eyes.**

 **Not entirely sure how I feel about this chapter. BUT THAT'S OKAY. NO IDEA WHEN I'LL UPDATE NEXT SINCE I DON'T THINK MY SISTER HAS INTERNET AT HER PLACE AND I'LL BE THERE FOR TWO WEEKS, PROBABLY SWITCHING THE SECOND TO GO TO MY OTHER SISTER'S (depends on how things work out) SO THERE MAY OR MAY NOT BE AN UPDATE. NO PROMISES THOUGH.**

 **Welp, read and review folks. The comments are appreciated! :) You guys are awesome! (Zeno runs around and hugs all of you happily) Have a nice night! Or, day.**


	13. Just A Little Bit Crazy

Why isn't he waking up? Why- _Why_ won't he heal!? I watched the glow around his body slowly start to fade as I focused on the golden orbs around his chest, the lights illuminating the blood pooling out of his sword wound. I had my hands over it, putting pressure against his injury in an attempt to stop the bleeding while simultaneously trying to close up the wound using my recently discovered abilities, but nothing seemed to be working. I couldn't figure out why- If I could cure the sick, surely I could heal the injured as well?

The lights shifted and moved only slightly before staying in place, not listening and refusing to let themselves be pulled towards my hands. The glow around his body grew dimmer and dimmer, and I could only watch through tears as the blood kept coming out, pooling around him and covering his body and staining my hands. I was soaked in the color red, his blood coming out of his body and not stopping despite my efforts. It soon became clear that no matter how hard I tried to save him or how desperate I was to bring him back, the fact that his body was no longer glowing meant it was futile. Everything I tried to do was in vain. Shin-Ah was dead.

I kept putting pressure with one hand and used the other to reach over and feel his neck for a pulse, not wanting to believe that what was happening was real. There's just no way. Shin-Ah _can't_ be dead. He... He just can't be. _Please wake up. Open your eyes._ Sh-Shin-Ah... _This isn't funny. Stop goofing off._

There was no beat, so I started pushing down on his chest repeatedly. Maybe I could get his heart to start again? "D-Don't you do this; don't you die on me!" I-I won't let you... You can't leave me. You can't _die_. I won't let you! "Wake-up-already!" I was hysterical, crying and denying, and I ground my teeth together as I choked back a sob. He's not dead. Shin-Ah is not _dead_. "B-Blue! Come on!" Just-Just open your eyes! One, two, three, four. One, two, three, four. I repeated the action for what felt like eternity until all strength to keep trying was lost.

I couldn't do anything; I just collapsed, hugging him tightly and holding his body as I sobbed.

 _Th-This isn't happening. I..._

Something inside of me snapped. I'm not entirely sure what it was; I just knew it wasn't good.

It was like someone had blasted a hole in my chest all the way through to my back, leaving a gaping wound in me that would never be closed. _Shin-Ah..._ He is NOT dead. I won't let him be. I refuse! H-He... he can't leave me. He said he wouldn't leave me alone. He said I was _important_ and that he wasn't going to leave! He's never lied to me, so why is he doing this? Why... Why did he let them kill him!? I...

I can't do this. I c-can't- I need him. He _has_ to be there with me. Holding my hand and sitting beside me, playing with Ao and giving everyone that confused blank face of his whenever they said something he didn't really understand. Yun still had so many more meals to make that he could eat-Shin-Ah _loved_ Yun's cooking. In fact, he just seemed to love good food in general. He ate so much so quickly all the time I always wondered if he had an endless abyss for a stomach. Shin-Ah had to be alive. Not always speaking, but instead showing his words with actions, and showing just how much he cared by actually _doing_ those actions and even occasionally using his voice when he needed to get a point across.

I understood. I _understood_ why things happened like they did. Why Shin-Ah is who he... was. I got why he was so protective. He didn't have _anyone_ until I came along. Sure there was Ao, but I was a real human _being_ he could actually talk to or react with-someone who wasn't _scared_. But it was because of it that he's laying like this now... blood pooling around us both, red dripping and staining everything in crimson. Everything... everything is still so vivid and _clear_ in my mind. Every single action, every single word, every tiny brush of his fingers against my skin as he tucked my hair behind my ear and out of my face, every gentle and innocent kiss he had planted, every hug and embrace, and whisper and word he had said. Every tear and every promise, every breakdown and every happy moment.

The times I had screwed up and the times I had done something right in return. Times I could have said something or done something else. The times I had wasted. I should have _said_ something, but the fear had always kept me back. I didn't want to ruin what we already had. He was the one person I could trust with _anything_ a-and... he was gone. I couldn't save him. After everything that had happened between us, that had gotten us so far...

It was over. Just like that. Because of my _uselessness_ and his stupid urge to protect me.

It was so stupid. So, _so_ stupid. But it feels like a huge part of me died along with him.

Blue... my beautiful Blue Dragon and best friend. But did I ever really think of him as _just_ a friend?

I was scared and alone and suffering when we first met. Everyone was cruel and frightening, and in the darkness he was that light at the end of the tunnel. The warmth in that cold that showed me so much kindness despite nothing knowing about me or why I had suddenly "appeared" in the caves. Barely a month had passed and I was so attached and clingy that you had to use force to remove the glue attaching us by the hip. I had never been scared of him.

I choked, brushing the hair out of his face with a trembling hand as the tears streamed silently. A burning fire slowly began to burn inside me, something fragile cracking and breaking apart slowly.

He was a friend. Never a foe. Even when I found out he killed people the fear didn't last long. Paranoid, yes, but I was traumatized from the events leading up to our meeting. I still _am_ traumatized and I probably won't ever get rid of that. I had lost _everything_ and moving on still seemed far from possible, but Shin-Ah had made going about life easier. He was warm and kind and _there_. He became my everything. I fought to be his friend desperately for so long while bearing the fear that he might one day send me away, but every time he had protected me and rescued me and comforted me, and while I did little I tried to comfort him as well.

We were both broken. We both had our own issues. And we both sought each other out despite the fear that one of us may leave the other.

But _damn it_... H-he...

He's not going to open his eyes ever again. O-Or make his mouth go slightly ajar when he's surprised or shocked o-or... or _anything_. That one smile-that one smile he made that wasn't because of good food but because he was simply _happy..._

There won't ever be a chance for me to see it again. We weren't ever going to have any moments that caused that smile anymore. He was... he was _gone_.

The thin wall that protected me, that protected that last bit of emotional stability and _sanity_ I had left completely shattered. It splintered and broke into a million pieces, and I was left feeling numb and cold and lifeless.

 _Where is he?_

Where did that man go?

 _He stole him from me._

I need to find him. I need to talk to him. I need to-

 _Kill him. Kill him. He stole Shin-Ah. He stole BLUE._

I want him back. I want Shin-Ah _back_. Bring him back! Bring him back! I want him back! I WANT HIM BACK! He did nothing but be kind and he _murdered_ him.

I don't care how badly you beat me or hurt me, even if it's to an inch of my death, but you do _not_ harm Blue. You do _not_ STEAL him from me!

A small laugh escaped, disguised and buried by the sob that was trying to break it's way through. His body was cold and heavy in my arms, and the golden glow was gone as if it had never existed in the first place. My tears felt like fire against my skin and as I raised my head the fury and rage and _hatred_ for that vile man's being simply continued to grow. He wasn't human-he was lower than that. Less than dirt-calling him an ant would simply be an insult to those innocent creatures. He was a _maggot_. _Disease_.

He needed to go. He took Shin-Ah away. He needed to pay and hurt and lose what he had taken from him.

I can't save Shin-Ah. I can't protect him or heal him or raise him from the dead.

But I sure as hell can avenge him.

And then I was in the middle of a forest, hacking up a lung and gasping as if my life depended on it. My body was sore and screaming and it felt like I was dunked in a frozen river. All around me was silence, the sky the colors of breaking dawn, and firewood crackled as flames tried desperately to come back to life. Kija slept close to the wood, but as I thoughtlessly pushed myself away from the person I had been clinging to I wheezed and choked on my tears, cogs turning violently in my head as I tried to react to the situation. I couldn't think properly-everything was a mess. I was lost and confused and hurt and angry, and it felt like someone had taken a knife and stabbed me a hundred times over and doused me with salt and alcohol before tearing out the entirety of my chest. I felt pained and extremely empty at the same time.

All I really knew at that moment was that I wanted to hurt someone. Make somebody pay.

 _Shin-Ah's dead._ Why is he dead? Why can't it be me or somebody else? Why _not_ somebody else? Nobody was as pure and kind as Blue. But they took him.

I fumbled as I pushed myself to my feet, lightheaded and swaying as the world spun around me wildly. I felt like I was going to throw up. My head throbbed painfully. As hate and rage continued to consume I shakily stumbled over to the tent, almost collapsing in the progress.

 _Where are the knives?_ Yun has knives. Knives are in tent... yes? _Find him. Find him and kill him. Avenge Blue._ He stole Blue, he hurt Blue, he _killed_ Blue.

"Nnn... Who's...? Irene?"

Kill him. Kill him. _Kill_ him. I outstretched a hand towards the tent opening, black spots gathering in my vision at this point. All I could really "see" was red.

"Irene, you shouldn't be moving around!" A long clawed hand grabbed my arm, stopping me. "What are you doing? You should be resting!" Who the hell does he think he is? _Do I have to kill him, too?_ I turned my head slowly, staring coldly and lifelessly up at the person. It was Kija. "I-Irene...?" His already almost-transparent skin seemed to have turned a color to rival that of snow, the white-haired male looking like that of a ghost with his appearance and attire. Kija looked frightened. I wondered why. Maybe he should be; I haven't quite decided yet if he needed to go as well for stopping me. _He's not needed... I just want **his** bloodshed. Other casualties are not necessary. _Not wanted. "A-Are you... alright?"

"Let go." My voice was cold and empty, no emotion behind it. It served only to unnerve Kija even more.

It took him a few moments, but he finally managed to shake himself out of his terror. Kija straightened his posture, tightening his claw around my wrist, and stared down at me a little more sternly. "I think not, Irene. You need your rest! You're still weak from what had happened! You're even trembling right now..." He furrowed his eyebrows, frowning as a concerned look crossed his face. "Please, just go back to bed. We're all worried about you."

"I said to let go of me."

"And I said you should go back to rest! You need your strength!"

 _Strength..._ The only strength I need is the strength to kill the bastard who murdered Shin-Ah! Without a second thought I reeled my arm back and threw both my fist and body forward, slamming my knuckles into the side of Kija's face. "You're in my way!" Kija was sent stumbling back in surprise, a hand flying up to cover his cheek, and stared at me with wide eyes. Pain flared from my fingertips all the way up my arm, and as I turned around and made my way to the tent I shook my hand without much care. A little pain meant nothing if I could avenge Blue.

But I refused to let people get in my way.

I pushed the curtain to the tent open and walked in, scanning the area for the brown bag Yun always carried. He and Yona were tucked in together pretty closely, sleeping soundly and peacefully away. They were completely unaware of the crime I was about to commit. Not like it matters though-it's for the best. I smiled a little to myself as I found what I was looking for, quickly stepping over to it as quietly as I could before kneeling down and opening it.

Kija soon entered the tent, but by then I was already holding the knife in my hands. I stood, striding past a freaked out Kija without so much of a glance at him. Kija hesitated before reaching a hand out, grabbing onto my shoulder to stop me once more, and asked in a low voice, "What are you planning on doing with that?"

 _Go away..._

"Irene, you should put the knife back and get some rest. You aren't in your right mind as of the moment." He was calm, but his voice had a dangerous undertone. Wary.

Why is he trying to stop me? Can't he just leave me alone? Shoo.

 _Get out of my way._

You aren't on my list. I don't want to hurt anybody else.

 _Unless you helped._

Did he help that man? He seems awfully intent on preventing me from finishing what I started.

 _Is he glad that Shin-Ah's dead?_

Did he want Blue dead? Is that it? Is he _happy_ to let that man get away with what he's done? Is Kija a bad guy?

 _He let that man kill Blue... He stood there and watched it happen._ I'm certain of it now. _He's working with that man._ If that's the case, I should just kill him, too. The reason why the man got away with it was _because_ Kija had helped. But they won't be safe for long... My grip around the knife's handle tightened and I tensed, the rage inside boiling even hotter than before. _He's a liar. Kija isn't nice at all._ I have to get rid of him; he's an obstacle. Not only is he in my way, but he hurt Blue. I _need_ to destroy him.

"Irene?" Kija frowned and stepped forward to get a look at my face, but his eyes suddenly widened. He leaned back just in time to narrowly avoid the blade that had been aimed at his face, a small trail of blood running down from a thin cut across his nose and cheek. Then I was stumbling backwards, Kija's enlarged claw swiping at me. He tried to grab me, but I fumbled and dodged, clumsily swinging the knife as we left the tent. "I do not wish to fight a friend! So please, hold still! You must stop this nonsense!"

I yelped as I suddenly slipped, the cloth around my ankle having come undone sometime ago, and was sent falling and crash-landing on my back. Kija's hand swooped above me, his claws grasping nothing but air, and he quickly tried to redirect himself towards my spot on the ground. Before he could grab me I slashed and rolled, missing and only cutting myself in the process, and I was running again.

"What has gotten into you!?" He cried, easily dodging the messy strikes.

My body was in such intense pain it felt like the bones holding me together were going to shatter into nothing, but the pain didn't last long. My brain seemed to have turned off all the sensitive nerves regarding to pain. I lunged forward, knife directed towards Kija's stomach, and in a spur-of-the-moment action he brought his arm down and slammed his enormous hand into my side, sending me flying at the same time I delivered a cut across his arm. Kija cursed and held the injury, apologizing, and slowly started to walk my way when I didn't get up.

"Forgive me, but... I really do think you should rest. The fever you received after the bloodloss is clearly messing with your thought process. You're not thinking properly, Irene." He knelt down beside me, placing a hand on my back. "Please... just do as I ask."

Shut up... _Shut up, shut up, shut up, shut up!_ "It's all your fault!"

"What-!?" Kija let out a yell when I suddenly moved and slammed the blade into the side of his leg. I shot up, hands aiming for his throat, but he was faster and had me in his hold and in the air before I could even get close. "What is _wrong_ with you!? We're siblings, bonded by the Dragons from which we're descended! Why are you behaving like this!?" He looked furious, hurt, confused, concerned, and betrayed. "What is my fault!?" Kija wasted no time in yanking the knife out of his leg with his left hand, quickly putting pressure on it with a grimace and a cringe. He remained sitting on the ground.

I kicked my legs furiously in response, screaming angrily and in despair. _It's his fault; it's his fault!_ "I-It's all your fault th-that he's dead!"

"I-I'm sorry?"

"You-You helped _kill_ him! Y-You sat there and _watched_ as he killed him!"

"Who?"

I ground my teeth together, the tears falling rapidly as I choked on the lump forming in my throat. I curled my fingers up, digging my nails into the palms of my hands as I cried, "Shin-Ah! Y-You killed Sh-Shin-Ah!" He dropped me and I tumbled onto the ground like a broken doll, curling into a ball as I pressed my forehead against the ground and laid on my knees. I dug my fingernails into the earth, screaming inside my head. "Y-You k-killed him... _You all let him die!_ " It's all your fault, it's all your fault, it's all your fault; you stole him! "Y-You took him and stole him a-and watched as he killed him a-and I couldn't do anything to save him and it's _all your fault!_ "

By now there was an audience. Upon hearing such a loud commotion Yun and Yona had woken up and poked their heads outside the tent to see what was going on, and Hak who had left camp for what-ever-reason, probably the bathroom, had come back and stopped at the sight of the scene that was taking place.

"Y-You killed him..." I could still see it so clearly. His cold, dead body in my arms... covered in crimson. I slammed my fist into the ground, shakily pushing myself up. I stumbled, swaying as I struggled to stay upright as five Kija's danced in my vision, and I focused on the one in the middle. "You freaking _killed_ him!" One foot slid forward and then I was running, "He did _nothing_ wrong and you _killed_ him! I'll destroy _all of you!"_

I'll kill you, I'll kill you, I'LL KILL ALL OF YOU!

Kija tried to stand, but the knife wound in his leg labored his movement. He flexed his claw, holding it in front of him defensively, but before I could get halfway there I was suddenly tackled and thrown back onto the ground, a large and heavy body on top of mine. I thrashed and screamed, hitting and clawing at the person in an attempt to push him off of me, but the man didn't budge. It was hard to breathe. "G-Get off of me!" He moved, but he kept his arms wrapped firmly around me as he sat up, keeping me pressed tightly to his chest. "Let me go!"

I-I have to-I have to avenge Shin-Ah! Let go of me!

I hit him a few times more, still screaming and demanding to be released.

"Irene." I stopped moving completely, frozen at the sound of that voice. "I'm okay."

No... No, no, no. _That's not... no._ _Liar..._ "Y-You're lying! I saw you!" There's no way that's him. It can't be him. He's... He's _gone_. I'd seen him die. In my arms. Bleeding out. "I-I saw you..." It's just not possible. People can't come back from the dead. N-Not even... "B-Blue?"

I could feel him nod his head. My lips curled back and I choked, the relief hitting me at such a force it was almost unbearable. Shin-Ah releasing his grip enough for me to slide my arms out I reached up and wrapped them around his shoulders tightly, burying my face in the curve of his neck.

 _It's... really him, right?_ Th-They have the same body structure and smell... a-and his hair is the exact same shade of azure. _This... isn't a dream, right?_ My fingers dug into his clothing, pulling at it. I nuzzled my face against him, taking in his presence and basking in it. I could hear his heart beating from the veins inside his neck, the warm radiating off him like fire against my skin."Please be real..." Don't ever leave me again. I was so scared. I can't live without you. I hiccuped and sniffled, my burning eyes squeezed so tightly shut like I was afraid that he'd be gone if I opened them. "D-Don't do that again; don't ever leave me again."

"I won't." He said softly, so quiet I almost couldn't hear him. I shifted, moving, and quickly planted a kiss on his jaw before pressing my cheek against his. His mask had shifted when we toppled onto the ground, so only one of his eyes were revealed.

"Thank you... Th-Thank you so much..." Thank you for being alive.

And then the light came back into my eyes. They snapped open in horror as I realized what had happened and what I had done. If Shin-Ah was alive... then I had just had the worst nightmare of my time, and violently and cruelly attacked someone who had done nothing wrong at all. I had attacked _Kija_ , who-if memories served right-was just concerned about my well-being and wanted me to rest.

I shot away from Shin-Ah like he was fire and looked around frantically, guilt crushing upon me like a vice. Then I saw him, standing there with his claw shrunk back down to normal size and his fingers lightly touching the cut I had put on his face, Yun, Yona, and Hak surrounding him while Yun fussed over Kija's leg. Kija was sitting down and Yun was kneeling down beside him, putting pressure on it. "Keep pressing down on it; I'll need to get my bag so I can stitch it."

"S-Stitches?" Kija stammered as Yun dashed away towards the tent. Hak peered over, kneeling down, and poked the wound. Kija hissed and smacked his hand away, Yona also giving Hak a scolding look. "Stop that!"

"She really did a number on you, huh? And here I thought you were stronger than a little girl, White Snake."

"I didn't want to hurt her!" He argued, "She was not thinking straight!"

"Seemed like she wanted to hurt you though," He responded, only to blink and turn his head when he realized I was staring at them. "Are you still trying to pick a fight?"

"I-I..." Oh god... what have I done? "I'm sorry... I-I'm so sorry..." I didn't mean-Oh god, what had happened to me? What was going through my brain at that point of time? I wasn't able to move, frozen with horror at the knowledge of what I had done. The blood staining the white of Kija's clothes and trickling down his face... I _caused_ that. I was the one who inflicted those injuries upon him. "I... You..." I had apologized, but that did nothing to right the wrongs I had committed. "Wh-Why... Why did you let me _do_ that!?"

Kija blinked, surprised, and appeared to relax as he realized I wasn't going crazy anymore.

Yona opened her mouth to speak in his stead, but Hak placed a hand on her shoulder and shook his head, signalling for her to be silent. Yun had just left the tent with his bag against his hip when Kija answered. He said, calm and steady, "I didn't "let" you do anything. I just refused to fight back. Though..." He frowned and moved his gaze to my bicep, which had a nice long gash across it. "You seemed to have done more harm to yourself than me."

That was when Shin-Ah had started pulling on the _juban_ , trying to pull the sleeve down off my shoulder enough so he could see the injury. I was right in mind just enough to realize what a horrible idea that was and freaked, slapping his hand away and pulled at my collar to cover myself back up. Thankfully not much had been exposed, so I wasn't too terribly humiliated or embarrassed, but I had to keep slapping his hand away when he kept trying to repeat the action. "N-No! Stop it! I'm fine!"

"You're bleeding."

"I deserve it!"

He paused, mouth slightly open, and the others looked surprised. Yun, who had just knelt down beside Kija with the needle and thread, froze. Kija looked alarmed.

"I-I... I hurt Kija..." I swallowed the lump forming in my throat and lowered my head, pressing a hand against the cut on my arm in an attempt to make it stop bleeding. "Wrongly. It's... fine..." As I spoke and the blood pooled between my fingertips I started to grow dizzy. I swayed a little. At the same time all the pain that I had blocked off from my nervous system attacked me all at once and at full force. Black spots fuzzed in my vision and covered the corners, dancing all around, and my skull pounded so badly I thought my brain was going to explode. Aches and pains blossomed all over my body and the cuts I bore felt so much worse than they should be. "I-It's fine!" I bit out the words, breathing heavily, and struggled to stay conscious.

 _I'm okay, I'm okay; it doesn't hurt. I'm okay._ I-It hurts... It hurts so much...

"Hak, finish stitching up Kija's leg; I need to... -check-...now!"

I-I can't... I'm so dizzy...

"-ene... Can you... me!? ...-wrong!? -rene!? Stay-! Don't-" It was a jumble of words I didn't understand. I felt like throwing up. Within moments everything went black and the next time I awoke I was resting where I had been before Shin-Ah moved me during the night. It appeared to be midday now, and as I opened my eyes I was met with the blinding light of the sun. I felt weak and dizzy, and like I had just suffered through another one of _his_ beatings.

 _"You stupid bitch! Go on-cry out! Scream for the monster! Don't play silent now that you've taken a few hits!"_

Rolling onto my side despite the pain in caused I curled into a ball, knees to my chest and my hands pulling at my hair as I squeezed my eyes tightly shut. _Go away, go away, go away; he's not a monster. Blue's not a monster; you're wrong! Stop it!_ Just leave me alone; I never did anything to you! Wh-Why are even doing this? What do you get out of it? _I-I'm so sorry..._

Please, just make it stop. Somebody just make it stop.

In the distance I could hear footsteps crushing grass at an alarming rate. Did Ko-Ji bring others to help? _J-Just leave me alone..._ I flinched and curled into an even smaller ball, trying to hide within myself, and ground my teeth together tightly so I wouldn't scream or cry out. I-I can't give them him the satisfaction. If I do, then he won't ever stop. I-I need to-I need to wait for an opening. I need to wait for him to stop so I can make my e-escape and find Blue... I-I have to-

"Irene..." A hand placed itself on my side and I jerked, pulling harder at the hair on my head. Fingers started prying at my own, trying to get me to release the thick strands of hair. "Let go... You're hurting yourself..."

The familiar and comforting voice snapped me out of it. My breath got stuck in my throat and I hesitantly opened my eyes, daring to cast a glance at the person who I had thought to be my attacker. I choked. "Sh-Shin-Ah...?" He nodded. I pushed myself up without a thought and tackled him, wrapping my arms around his waist as I pressed my face into his stomach. He made a surprised noise before placing a hand on my back and another on my head. "Th-They're wrong! They're wrong, they're wrong, they're wrong!"

"...?"

"You're a good person! Y-You're not a monster!"

"...I know." I froze, then quickly looked up at him, pulling away just slightly so I could stare up at his face. He was wearing the mask, so I couldn't see more than his jaw. His hand stared to run across my head gently, petting me, and he said softly, "I know I'm not. I... believe you, Irene." H-He does...? "So... don't cry. It's okay." He removed his hands from my back and head and placed them on my face, running his thumbs gently across my cheeks and wiping at the tears. My fingers curled and dug into his clothing, holding onto it tightly as my eyes closed, Shin-Ah's lips pressing lightly against my forehead. "You're safe."

S-Safe...

"S-So are you..." He stared, confused. I tightened my hold on his kimono, hands on his thighs, and leaned upwards as I sat on my knees. "Y-You're safe, too! B-Because... Because I'll protect you! S-So... So don't listen to anyone wh-who thinks you're anything less than beautiful! Because you are! You're the m-most beautiful person in the world a-and everyone who thinks o-otherwise is-is stupid! They're wrong!"

"Irene..."

"I won't let anyone hurt you, o-okay!?" Anybody who lays a hand on him... they'll regret it. He's _mine_. "You can trust me!" I'll do anything for you, so please... don't leave me.

"...I've always trusted you." My eyes widened and I broke out into a shaky and relieved smile. I leaned into his touch, now calm, and released his kimono in order to place a hand over one of the hands he had on my face. "But... you should rest. Yun said... you still haven't recovered from your earlier bloodloss. It's... dangerous to get hurt before you recover." I frowned and pulled away, before leaning forward and resting my head against his chest. "?"

"I don't want to." I don't want to go to sleep again. If I do I might see something scary again. "I want to stay with you."

I could feel his heart pick up just a little when I said that, but I didn't really care at the moment as to what kind of effect I had on him. I just closed my eyes and listened to the sound of his heartbeat. Lucky for him I _did_ end up falling asleep pretty quickly, so I did rest like he wanted me to, and the next time I woke it was morning the next day. Shin-Ah was curled up on his side beside me, a hand draped over my left arm, and I awoke with one of my arms resting on my stomach. People were chatting. I didn't understand what was going on, but I felt a heck ton better than I had the past few days. Maybe I really did need to just get some proper sleep.

I blinked a few times, staring up at the dawning sky as I waited for my vision to clear, before turning my head and just staring at Shin-Ah's sleeping form. The mask had moved to the side of his head so I could actually see his face, and he looked like the cutest thing. If I wasn't scared that moving would wake him I would have pulled my arm away and brushed the hair out of his face. _His hair is still so short,_ I thought with a small smile, amused. He's so adorable. _I'm beginning to think it never grows._

He probably just cuts it whenever I'm not paying attention. I can see that happening.

I then noticed the red covering the sleeve of the _juban_ I was wearing and flinched, memories of what happened the other day rushing through my mind. _Kija..._ Why? Why did I do that? I should have known it was just a nightmare! Why didn't I stop to think for one stupid moment? N-Now he's... he's hurt really bad... _I-I actually stabbed him. I STABBED Kija._ I still found it hard to believe. W-Was I really that messed up over the idea of Blue's death?

The warm hand clinging to my arm confirmed what I was starting to believe. He pressed his face against my shoulder, snuggling close, and mumbled something. I looked at him again, a pained look crossing my face.

 _I'm not... actually going insane, am I?_ I know I always joked about it, but... this was serious. I _wanted_ to kill people; I _tried_ to kill people. I tried to kill Kija. I-I'm...

No. No. Don't focus on it, Irene. Just breathe. It's okay. You're okay. Shin-Ah is alive and breathing and that means everything is okay. Well, almost everything.

 _Just... Just don't turn into freaking Yuno, Irene._ Jesus. Don't freak out. In and out... deep breaths. "I'm okay..."

"...?" Shin-Ah groggily opened his eyes, vision clearing after a few moments, and his eyes widened when he saw me staring at him. I felt my face heat up a little at being caught, but I didn't turn away. "How... are you feeling?" He asked softly. His eyes were locked onto mine and I was a little ashamed to admit that I had less than pure thoughts.

"B-Better." Don't you dare say something goofy, Irene. Don't you _dare_. "I mean, wh-why wouldn't I be when I wake up and you're next to me?" Seriously, look at your adorable bedhead-your hair is sticking up completely on one side! "Nothing says "healthy" more than a daily dose of Shin-Ah, a-am I right?" Welp, I went there.

But my embarrassment was well rewarded when I saw his cheeks turn just the slightest shades of pink. Yes! Wait, I mean, uh.. he's not sick, is he? That's what the normal person would say, right? Thankfully he didn't say anything about what I just said and instead sat up, pulling the mask down when he noticed the other people around- AKA, Yun and Kija. Yona still appeared to be sleeping and Hak was currently pretending to be fighting enemies as he worked on his spear skills. Or maybe Yona was out looking for food-who knows?

Carefully I pushed myself, wincing but more than a little relieved to find that almost all the aches and bruises that were on my body were mysteriously gone. Maybe Yun had some mystical healing potions? Or... I stared curiously at my arm where the cut I accidentally gave myself used to be. The blood was still there, but the long gash looked nothing more than a scar right now. It looked half its size. _Side effects?_ I never healed quickly before. Or is it because that I finally used my "abilities" that it was happening? Maybe I just wasn't as badly hurt as I thought I was. _My brain hurts... let's stop thinking._

So, just because I could, I reached forward and fixed Shin-Ah's hair. He paused and looked at me in surprise as I did so, watching as I flattened the side that was sticking up so cutely, before I grinned and pat him affectionately on the cheek, giving him a thumbs up. "Perfect. But then again you looked good no matter, so I guess it doesn't really matter whether or not your hair is messy." I watched as Shin-Ah stared at me for a long moment, biting his bottom lip after closing his mouth, before nodding and standing. I was a little surprised at the new reaction, but as he pat me on the head and walked over to Kija and Yun I was able to catch sight of the reddening ears. _Is... Is he blushing?_ It was hard to tell because of the mask covering his face, but... I think he was? _No... No, get it out of your head, Irene. Jeez._ I bit the inside of my cheek and turned my head, moping a little bit, when suddenly I had company.

"Irene! How are you feeling!? Back to your normal self yet?" Kija was smiling brightly in such a friendly way I almost wondered if Yun drugged me while I was sleeping again. The cut I had given him had scabbed over already, signalling that it would go away in just a few days without a scar. He also walked with a slight limp, but it wasn't too noticeable. "You acted so strangely yesterday!"

"Y-Yeah..." I gazed at Kija's leg with guilty eyes, remembering how I had pushed the blade in with such force. "I... I don't know what happened to me."

Yun helped Kija sit down, before the brunette started to make his way over to me and knelt down, rolling up the sleeve of my wounded arm. "You can say that again," Yun scoffed. "You were acting like a lunatic."

I flinched, but didn't respond. Yun gazed at the scar thoughtfully.

Kija spoke up again as Shin-Ah sat down next to him, "Just what made you think I would do any harm to Shin-Ah in the first place? I would never harm a friend!" I remembered being slammed against the ground and tossed back, and being lifted in the air. He _hadn't_ hurt me, not really. All the injuries I had were ones I inflicted myself. He just kept pushing me back and holding me away from him, trying to keep me far enough away so I couldn't do any harm. He was just trying to help.

"I-I know, I just-I don't _know_." My voice cracked and gripped tightly onto the fur that was covering me. I was surprised Shin-Ah hadn't taken it back yet. He really is too nice. "I-I was-I was just so _upset_ a-and... I-I guess the lines between nightmares and reality blurred... a lot." Why isn't he yelling at me? Is it because of his "dragon sibling" belief thing? Or was he just so stupidly kind that he found no reason to be angry? Any normal person would hate me for what I had done. "I'm... I'm surprised you guys haven't tried to kick me out yet."

I blinked when Yun grabbed my face, turning it at different angles and observing it as if to check for something, before he started looking at my other arm. There was a strange look on his face. I don't even think he was paying attention to the conversation.

Kija, however, looked appalled by my words. "What-No! The Princess would never let that happen!"

Huh?

"You were merely upset and angry due to the loss you believed to have suffered! I'm sure the Princess out of all people can understand that!" Why would-Oh... Right. _Yona lost her father...and her mother, I think._ She was never mentioned, but I can only assume that was the case.

"Maybe." I mumbled, lowering my head, and blinked when Yun started unwrapping the cloth around my foot after pushing the fur out of the way. "What are you-?" I cut myself off, startled. While my foot had been getting better, Yun had diagnosed a few days ago that it would still take a few more weeks to get better. Back then there was still quite a bit of swelling. Now, as I looked at it, there was none and I felt no pain as he pressed multiple soft spots on my ankle. "..."

"Can you do more than just cure disease?" Yun asked suddenly, knitting his eyebrows together as he looked at me seriously. I hesitated, not really sure, and shrugged awkwardly.

"I-I don't know..."

"The adviser is a dragon of healing," Kija commented thoughtfully, "so perhaps after using her powers for the first time on the villagers released her ability of healing quickly as well. It has been two days since the event."

"This should have taken at least a good three more weeks to heal!" Yun protested, "and the wound which was a bloody mess earlier is all but a scar now! Even her bruises are gone and those vanished overnight!" He... He checked up on me while everyone was still sleeping? Why would he give away sleep for that? "Irene had.. Actually, I don't understand _any_ of you dragons." Now all of us were staring at him in confusion, but it didn't last long before Yun started glaring and lecturing me. "I _especially_ don't understand why the almighty adviser is some _stupid_ girl who acts so recklessly all the time!"

"I-"

"How many times have I had to clean up your cuts and wounds now!? In the four weeks we've known you you've tripped and fell and hit your head, and you freak out at the slightest thing! Now- _now_ you went and nearly got yourself killed using powers you don't know how to control, and then went crazy over a nightmare! You even go so far as to block out any and all pain until you literally can not move anymore! Just what the hell goes on in that dumb brain of yours!?"

He glared at me expectantly, demanding answers, but nothing would come out. Anything I could have said either got stuck in my throat or died on my tongue.

I felt a pair of familiar hands on my shoulders and was soon turned, embraced by Shin-Ah who was frowning at Yun. I was just frozen, face partially hidden in the male's shoulder. "Stop... yelling at her. Irene... Irene isn't dumb."

"Y-Yun is just... expressing his worry, Shin-Ah," Kija tried, worried that another fight may break out. "He's not... He just calls everyone stupid when he's showing how much he cares."

"Sh-Shut up! It's not like that, Kija! I'm furious right now!"

"Yes, but you're also concerned about her health, aren't you?" Yun scowled and huffed, turning his head. He seemed annoyed. Kija smiled at him. Shin-Ah seemed to relax, if only a little, upon hearing Kija's words. He didn't release me. "Sometimes it's best to just be honest about one's feelings."

Somehow, in all this mess, it felt like those words were directed more towards me than Yun. Or maybe it was just because I knew Kija was right.

 **Posting this despite how I'm not too entirely satisfied with the end because I HAVE TO GET READY FOR THE FIRST DAY OF SCHOOL. AGH. Sorry if it seems rushed at all. This chapter could have gone a number of ways. Read and Review! I love you guys! 3**


	14. An Emotional Mess

**Day Three After The Incident**

If Shin-Ah and I had been inseparable before, then there was really no chance at removing the glue from our hands now. After the incident I had tried to avoid him, not wanting to have a nightmare and attack him at the chance I could delude myself into believing _he_ was the killer of himself, which really made no sense when one thinks about it, but Shin-Ah was having none of that and just latched onto me even tighter than before. If he was sitting down and I'd try to leave camp without telling him what I was doing he'd shoot up and latch himself around my waist, arms holding onto me tightly with his body weighing me down.

Hak, who had become so wary of me to the point where he'd be watching every action of mine whenever I was near Yona, had gotten more than enough laughs seeing my reactions to Shin-Ah's tackles. Yun didn't even know who to pity anymore-He finally stopped saying "poor guy" and actually began to say "poor girl". Sometimes, when a strange situation happened and Blue wouldn't even let me off the ground, having placed me in his lap, Yun would ask us questions and say something about how he can't tell if we're dense and oblivious, or if we just refuse to "act".

Shin-Ah would always lower his head and remain silent, something that wouldn't be that strange if not for the fact that he actually looked disheartened and deep in thought, and I would always give flustered responses as I tried to figure out how to answer "not too late" and "not too quickly", saying stuff about how he was innocent and how we were just friends and that he "doesn't understand that kind of thing-not really! He knows about it, but-" blah, blah, blah. Sometimes I wondered if what I said hurt Blue, and then I wondered how it would have.

He knew what love was, but he didn't know "love". Loving friends and family he knew, having apparently been raised by the previous Blue Dragon-whose name I still did not know-but I'm pretty sure he never fell for anyone in his life. He'd never had the chance. And, if he were to fall for anyone, why would he fall for me? Because I tease him? Because I call him "beautiful" on a daily basis? Because I was, and am, _there_? That's not love; that's just emotional dependence.

And besides, it's not like I actually know what "love" is either. I could tell you exactly how a person would, or might, feel if they were in love-how their thoughts might go and how their bodies might react, but I couldn't tell you what it felt like to me because I had never been _in_ love. Love is a bunch of chemicals and what not messing with your brain and body, acting up on the chemicals belonging to another person. There's either a spark or there isn't.

But I wasn't a scientist and I was a bit of a hopeless romantic anyway, even if I didn't normally act upon my feelings. At least... not before. Now I...

Jeez... I honestly don't know. This place is has been changing me so much and... it's scary. Blue, if only because of the emotions he made me feel, was scary. He made me _want_ to act upon them, he made me-whether he realized it or not-blatantly flirt with him. He makes me crave him with the slightest action and even in the moments where most would probably find him disgusting I found him utterly and completely adorable, not at all bothered by his chipmunk cheeks when eating or the knowledge of him having killed people-of having seen him kill someone.

I just really didn't care about that. He was Blue. My Blue. And that was all that mattered to me.

So it really bugged me whenever I tried to sort out my feelings. If I hadn't met Yona or the others, if Shin-Ah and I were still in the caves, would I be pondering this now? _It could just be hormones..._ It's been almost a whole month since I've been on my period-I might be starting soon.

Burying my burning face into Shin-Ah's chest I groaned, voice muffled as I whined, "I duhnough!" Shin-Ah just pet me on my head gently in an attempt to make me feel better.

Yun just sighed, probably for the hundredth time, and said, "It's almost painful to watch you both dance around each other's feet."

Shin-Ah lifted his head and looked at Yun from behind his mask, but I just snorted at the brunette's words. Clinging tightly to Shin-Ah's kimono as I turned my head so Yun could hear me, I said, "We actually did dance once. I got him to smile."

"Eh!? Shin-Ah smiled!?" Yona had just wandered into camp and all but knocked Yun over as she dashed over, quickly taking a seat beside him with her knees pulled up and her arms wrapped around them excitedly as she looked at us. "When!? I want to see! Shin-Ah must have a very pretty smile!"

Beaming, almost like a proud parent, I sat up and pulled just a little bit away from the bluenette who kept his arm around me. "He does! It's the best smile; the most beautiful one you could ever have the pleasure of seeing!" I moved hands wildly as I spoke, trying to describe his smile as I recalled it. It feels like so long ago... and he had only smiled like that once. My enthusiasm deflated slightly at that thought, having been enchanted by that gorgeous smile, but I somehow managed to remain grinning. I looked up at Blue, goofy and grinning. He just looked down at me, the slightest bits of pink coloring his big ears. "Don't you think so, too?" Of course I wanted him to call himself beautiful-I heard him call himself "monster" and "ugly" so much I wanted him to think himself someone amazing. Blue...

Well, he deserves all the praise in the world.

His mouth opened, as if he were going to speak, but then he closed it and lowered his head. I frowned. I then leaned forward, stretching a little and raising my head so that our noses were just a few inches away.

"Hey, come on-don't give me that look. You even said you knew you were beautiful the other day! Why are you hesitating now?"

Yona, who was still next to a bemused Yun, nodded fervently in agreement. "Irene's right, Shin-Ah! I've only seen your face once, but you were absolutely breathtaking!" That's... not what I meant, Yona. But he is that, too, so I won't argue with you there. "And you're also really kind." Ah, there we go. Personality-that's more along the lines of my thinking.

Suddenly a thought hit me.

 _Yona finds Shin-Ah attractive._

What about other girls? If they saw him would they flock to him like in all those shoujo mangas? What if they try to feel him up or something!? _That won't happen. I won't let that happen._ He's so awkward with other people and freaks if someone other than me tries to take off his mask-what if they make him feel uncomfortable? _I'll get rid of them._ But what if...

What if Shin-Ah ends up falling for one of them...?

What if _Yona_ ends up falling for him?

It was as if I had been shot in the chest thirty-two times. But I simply reached up and placed a hand underneath Shin-Ah's chin, lifting his head up a little as I declared, "The kindest of 'em all!"

"...I'm not-"

I clamped my hand over his mouth in vengeance for all the times he did so to me, the grin on my face spreading from ear-to-ear. "Nope! No self-deprecation. You're beautiful in every way, shape, and form- and I won't stop telling you that even after you start to accept it!" I could feel his lips move against my hand as he tried to speak, soft voice muffled, and I could feel something akin to electricity spike up my arm. I inhaled sharply, taking a deep breath, and removed my hand as calmly as I could. "You could be covered head-to-toe in mud and you'd still be the most beautiful person."

He looked stunned. Shin-Ah lowered his head, not saying anything for a moment, before he raised his chin up and looked at me. Opening his mouth, he said, "I... wasn't going to... self-deprecate myself." He thought about his words. When he spoke my attention was completely on him, everyone else around us tuned out and gone from my mind. It was almost like they didn't exist. I should probably learn to focus more on my surroundings when I'm talking to Blue, because I always seem to forget that there are other people around. A bad habit, I guess... I should probably stop making him top priority all the time. If that's even possible.

"Then... what were you going to say?" I was confused now. I was so used to correcting him all the time it took me off guard when something like this happened. I tried to figure it out, recalling the conversation and attempting to piece together what it could be he was thinking. I watched as he frowned, his ears a little more red, and my eyes darted to his hands when he tightened his hold on me.

"I... I was... I was going to say that you're the beautiful one..."

A groan and a muffled squeal reminded me of our travelling companions and I went stiff, awkwardly biting back a smile as I resisted the urge to twist and fiddle with the sleeves of the dress and coat I was wearing. "O-Oh..." I turned my head, sitting down properly, and tried to ignore how conscious I became of him. I tugged on my bangs a little, suddenly finding the long, thick, and wavy strands of hair very interesting, and stammered, "Th-Thanks... uh, thank you."

 _Ba-Dump. Ba-DUMP. BA-DUMP. BA-DUMP._

Shin-Ah... d-doesn't really think that, does he? He said something like that before, but... O-Oh jeez. _Wait, is he staring at me?_ Oh god he is! Why!? Why is he staring at me? I ducked down and hid my face behind my bangs, suddenly really glad my hair was an untameable mess when it's long. It just grew so crazy fast that it wasn't even layered anymore-not really. It was just different lengths on each side now-the back reached my shoulder-blades and my bangs hung down to my chest-and pieces of my hair were sticking up in multiple directions and just completely defying the laws of gravity. _Ah... is it because of my hair?_ But he never cared about how it looked like before. I bit my lip and tugged on my bangs again, wondering what the reason could be for his intense staring.

Actually, how bad was my acne recently? I haven't been able to use face products since coming here, but Yona and Kija were nice enough to share their skin lotions and oils. There was no mirror so I've not been able to check-was the breakout terribly bad? I didn't feel anything on my face...

A sudden panic struck me. _He's not going to compare me to Yona, is he!?_ But she's super pretty; I can't compete with that! I know I'm not ugly; I was told multiple times in the past I was sort of attractive, but Yona was _gorgeous_. Curly red hair like flames, full lips and big amethyst eyes, a thin waist and long dark lashes... _What did Tiana call me once?_ A china doll? Or was it a porcelain? Wait, aren't they the same thing? She said something about how I have features similar to one... what with the dark hair and the doe eyes, the natural pouty mouth, and the long lashes and round face... I mean, my broad shoulders and wide waist sort of ruined the "doll" image, but not all of us can be perfect, right? And even if I was pretty my personality was downright awful. I don't take care of myself that well either, so any prettiness I have will probably go down the drain; I had started resembling a skeleton before I was forced to eat again by Shin-Ah.

...Okay, that was a bit of an exaggeration... but I _had_ lost a heck ton of weight. I had only been 138 when I met Blue and by the time we met Yona and the gang I'm pretty sure I went to either 110 or the nineties. _Shin-Ah hated it when I didn't eat,_ I thought, remembering how he force fed me. I then remembered when he was crying and hugged me and I tried to comfort him. _Nnng..._ I groaned mentally, remember how awkward that was. _No hugging naked people. Hugging naked people is not good._ It didn't help much that he was hugging me _now_ , but I couldn't do much about that. Not that I wanted to do anything; I was quite content snuggling up to him. He was very comfy. _I'm pretty sure I made him blush a few times though..._ At least recently. _Could he-?_ No. Don't be dumb.

I grew disheartened.

It had only been teasing. He was probably just embarrassed. I'm pretty darn certain he never had anyone hit on him before. And the protectiveness... well, that's just him being him. He never really had friends before, so since I was technically his first-not counting Ao, adorable little thing she is-it made sense. You would want to keep the first thing important to you close, right? And, if anything, _I_ was possessive over _him._ As much as I wanted to part from him so I don't hurt him, I wanted nothing more than to keep him all for myself. Despite all the physical abuse I went through in the caves because of the villagers I sort of wanted to go back to that time-back to when it was just Shin-Ah, Ao, and me. _Physical abuse..._ I mulled over, almost flinching at the memories of all the injuries I had suffered through if I hadn't recalled something else. _I guess I can add that to the list of abuse. First Ally, then... Ko-Ji._ It still scared me to even think his name.

I had mostly gotten over what Ally and her mom did to me- I was little and she had mainly just scapegoated, manipulated, and lied. She hit me sometimes, and ran me over with her bike a couple times when I fell off of mine, but she didn't do it as much as she lied and used me. Her mother always took her side, refusing to believe any words that I said. I had trusted Ally time and time again, but each time I gave her that trust-the _chance_ to do something else-she smacked it right back into my face. It was also around the time when my other sister had started hating on me, my brother distancing himself, and when dad had just gotten remarried. I think I was in my last few years of elementary school? Mom kept going through boyfriends and Ally had finally transferred into my school, breaking into my safe haven, and tried to ruin everything I had there. All the rumors she spread, the false stories she told... I ended up going to Middle School with only one friend because of that. Thankfully she and her mom moved away after that, but even then it took forever for me to open up properly. Someone once described me as having a "turtle shell".

As if sensing how upset I had become I felt Shin-Ah lean down and press a kiss to the top of my head, wrapping his other arm around me and nuzzling his face into my hair. I wasn't embarrassed anymore-not even Yun's comment about how we were idiots and should just confess phased me. I just leaned into Shin-Ah's touch and buried my face in his chest, clinging to him as I closed my eyes. My jaw tightened, my eyebrows knitted together, and I felt a bit of an ache in my chest.

Is that why I wanted to hear Blue call himself "beautiful"? Because I had been treated as if I were the devil's child? Even though the devil's child was really the one disguising herself as an angel? She even had started going after her siblings... Gerard has anger issues now because of her and- _I left him..._ I left him alone. _I-I'm so sorry..._ But knowing what it's like to be treated as a monster, being forced to take the blame for so long, I guess helped strengthened the emotional attachment I had to Shin-Ah when I first learned of how he was treated. I never thought about it much, but it made sense. Psychologically, at least. Birds of a feather flock together after all.

 _Unless you will it, I will never leave you._ I will never let you take blame for things you did not do. _Where you go, I go._ I will forever follow you. Even if you tire of me, I will always be there beside you. _Until the day you tell me you hate me and wish for me to leave..._

"Blue..."

"Hm?" He hummed curiously, but didn't move. His chin rested against my head.

"I'm sorry." Was it love or dependence I felt? I can't even tell. There's just so much to try and figure out- so much I don't understand. What I feel towards him, the reason why I'm even here... and if my sanity is slowly starting to go away. After I lost everything- friends, family- I had met Shin-Ah. He's the most important person to me-more important than anyone had ever been to me. But what if I was just deluding myself? What if what I felt wasn't actual _feelings_ but just a false affection brought on due to him actually being an emotional crutch? I-I can't... I can't do that. Not to him. Not to Shin-Ah. "I'm so sorry..." I don't know what to do. What if I've been lying to myself all along? What if by doing that I was trying to keep myself sane?

What if I don't actually love Blue?

But... that doesn't make any sense. I mean, yeah; he's the one thing in this place that's keeping me on the brink of sanity-I'm pretty sure if I didn't have him when I first woke up I would have gone bat-shit crazy within a few days, or at the very least have killed myself, but I know what I felt wasn't fake. If it was fake I wouldn't be able to feel any pain, right? Being near him, being away from him-it hurt. And the thought of _losing_ him is-

Well, we've already seen what happens if you try to take Shin-ah away from me. Poor Kija... he seriously didn't deserve that. I'm such a jerk. He said that he'd forgiven me, that he understood why I did what I did, and still tried to get me to call him "big brother" like Shin-Ah does. But I don't get it. He forgave me.

How is he able to forgive me when I can't even forgive myself?

An awful cousin, an awful friend, and... I'm just an awful person in general. I truly am horrible.

 **Day Five After Incident**

I found myself in another emotional stupor, depressed and self-deprecating even more so than usual after Kija had tried talking to me again. He had entered camp with some more firewood and I noticed he was still limping. He informed everyone that he had found the stream that Shin-Ah had mentioned before and everyone had went crazy-Yona and Hak started packing up all the dirty clothes, and Yun began grabbing all the dirty dishes we had used these past weeks. We ended up having meat on a stick the other day simply because we hadn't wanted to eat with dirty dishes.

I helped Yun with the dishes, but I was left completely silent as we did them. Yona went hunting again, Hak making a comment about how she would get fat if all she kept eating was meat, Kija left for more firewood, and Shin-Ah helped Hak with the laundry. Kija had also started picking up grasses that looked like the herbs Yun always used-one unfortunately being poison Ivy.

Yun lectured him for a long time, though he did thank him for the ones that did turn out to be herbs, and we all began to take turns washing ourselves. Yona went first; I knew Hak didn't trust me near her, so I let her go alone, and after some conversation I managed to convince Shin-Ah to go with the guys. It terrified me to bathe in a stream where it felt like a bear could jump out any moment and attack me, but Yona assured me that if something like that happened they would all get to the bear before it got to me. Hak then said something about how he was certain that I would be able to take the bear down easily if it attempted to lay a single claw on Shin-Ah. I tried to argue, saying that if I tried to fight a bear I would get torn to shreds, but Kija interrupted and said that if I had my mind set on taking it down I would be able to get it done for sure. That he had faith in me.

I knew he meant well, but I instantly felt this crushing wave of guilt as my eyes shot up to the scab on his face. He would end up having a scar on that pretty face of his because of me. And his leg... even with Yun's medicine, would he be able to walk on it properly ever again? I catch him limping whenever he thinks nobody is looking-his face is always screwed up into this intense expression of pain. _I did this to him..._ Me. A girl who could barely even protect herself and I had crippled him simply because of a nightmare.

Two days after the incident I had forced myself to stop sleeping. I knew Shin-Ah was beginning to take notice-Yona and Yun as well. I think Kija was oblivious to the whole thing, and Hak was probably just ignoring me. If I wasn't near Yona he didn't really seem to care _what_ it was I was doing.

I spent way too long in the stream. Yun lectured me because of how cold it was and how long I was in there, saying how he didn't want to put up with dealing with a sick person again- He said that even though my injuries healed, he didn't want to have to waste anymore herbs on me just because I got a cold. More guilt. I decided not to tell him about how I sliced my foot on a rock in the stream, as I knew I would get lectured more, but it had already healed over. I wasn't too sure how I felt about having my injuries heal faster than normal-it was still slow, but depending on how big it was decided whether it would take all day or just a few minutes. Scrapes were gone in seconds. I felt disgusted with myself.

How come I have the ability to heal when others need it more than I do? Like Kija. The cut on his face and the stab wound in his leg would already be done and gone if he had my ability. I can cure disease and heal my own wounds, so... how come I can't heal injuries? _Is_ that something I can do? I never tried. But I don't know how to activate my powers and I was scared to try. What if something went wrong? I didn't want to make things any worse. It's bad enough he can barely walk-what if he ends up having to amputate his leg because I failed at healing it?

I clung to Shin-Ah's leg, it being night now, and buried my face in his thigh. The entire day was spent cleaning clothes and dishes and ourselves. I was more than just tired- I was physically and emotionally _exhausted_. I almost felt numb.

 _Why do I have to feel?_ The guilt and self-hate was crushing my chest. I wanted to tear my heart out of my chest with my bare hands just so the emotions would go away. I was always a sap- I was the worst in my family. _My family..._ I haven't paid too much thought towards it; I let in a few memories, making a few references, but I never really _remembered._ Let myself realize. I didn't want to. That meant I would have to accept it. To grieve. To allow myself to bask in the knowledge that Shin-Ah was _literally_ all I have now. Shin-Ah and Ao...

Though... Ao seemed to have left me for Yona. _I don't blame her,_ I thought as I pressed my face into Shin-Ah's thigh. My fingers clung to his kimono tightly, the male running his fingers gently through my hair as he sat vigil while everyone else slept. _I'd leave me, too._ It's a miracle that Blue's still by my side. Why he defended me the other day when Yun had been yelling at me-calling me dumb and stupid and a lunatic-I didn't know. Blue had protested and held me to him, telling Yun that I wasn't any of those things. I opened my stinging eyes, staring at the black leather in front of me, before lifelessly turning my head so that I was staring at his stomach. Well, I wasn't really _staring_ at his stomach more as I was just looking blankly into space. I could barely even feel his hand as his fingers tucked some of my hair behind my ear, having brushed it out of my face. _You won't leave me though..._ Why won't he leave me?

Why... does he seem so intent on staying with me? Isn't he scared that I could hurt him like I did Kija? I'm already greatly emotionally unstable; isn't he worried about what will happen if my mentality starts to slip even more? "Shin-Ah..." I didn't even realize I spoke, but my voice was barely above a whisper.

"...?" He hummed quietly in a response, fingers stopping for his hand to rest softly on my head. His thumb caressed my cheek.

I felt empty and numb and cold, but somehow I could still feel the warmth coming from him. His affection, his kindness... It was so warm it threatened to break down my will and crumble it to pieces, drifting me off into a half-asleep state. I leaned into his touch, eyes halfway closed, and nuzzled his leg. "I love you..." Thank you. Thank you for staying by my side-for never leaving me. For being there every time. For being my friend and someone I can trust. My eyes stung some more and my voice cracked just slightly. "I love you."

He started. It had been a long time since I had said that to him. But now... now I truly meant it. With all my being. I love Shin-Ah. I was a bit too tired to realize just _how_ I said it, how much emotion I put into it, but before I could even start to regret opening my mouth Shin-Ah bent over, leaning down and pressing a kiss to the side of my head. I was super tired, so I was probably imagining it, but it sort of felt like his lips were tilting _upwards_ rather than downwards for once. His nose brushed my cheek, his mask pushed up to the top of his head due to it being night and everyone sleeping, and I could feel his warm breath ghost across my skin as he muttered quietly, "I... love you too, Irene."

I paused, then turned to look at him. I went still the instant I did, suddenly taking note of just how _close_ he was. I had stop mid-turn because my nose bumped into his. His golden eyes seemed to glow in the dark just like always, more beautiful than anything I had ever seen, and his skin seemed to almost shine in the moonlight. Or maybe I'm just hallucinating? My toes curled in a little as my gaze flickered from his eyes to his mouth and back again. He didn't pull away, he didn't remove his hand from my cheek. We just stared at each other. "Y-You... You have really long eyelashes." He blinked, surprise flashing in his gaze, and I became entranced by the action and the emotion in his face.

"Is that... Is that bad?" He asked, seeming genuinely concerned about my opinion. "Your's are... long, too."

Though I was laying on my side uncomfortably I made no attempt to move. Instead I reached a hand up and ran my fingers along his cheek, tracing the bone structure there before running my fingertips gingerly underneath his eyes. "I think you look good with them." His tense shoulders relaxed as did the muscles in his face. "Then again, you look good with anything." Ah... His cheeks and ears are pink. Wait, why did he look away!?

Shin-Ah had diverted his eyes from me when I said that, biting his bottom lip. While I was concerned if what I said bothered him, the small action of him biting his lip caught my attention more. My mouth felt a little bit dry. I resisted the urge to lick my lips. In an attempt to distract myself I started to play with the short strands of his azure hair. He blinked and looked at me- _finally_ \- when I started to do that. "Irene...?"

"You're adorable. Have I told you this yet?" I held back a yawn, though I could feel my exhaustion start to fade away the more I spoke to and teased him. I grinned widely when I saw his face go redder and I reached up and pulled gently on his earlobe. "Your ears are red again. Are you sick or am I making you blush?" A twisted satisfaction, I guess, but I took joy in seeing his face go red from things I said. If only he blushed when I kissed his cheek or something... Maybe it was stupid, naive, or something else, but I liked to tease him like this. It... I really shouldn't do it because I know it'll turn out bad, but... it gave me hope that he liked me back. This was definitely more than some crush-whenever I had a crush I would always hide and keep quiet, and normally if that crush had someone he liked I would try and get him and that girl together because I didn't want to get in the way or make him unhappy. With Shin-Ah I-

I want to do everything I can to make him mine. I was already his-it's just a matter of whether or not he'll become mine. Stupid and selfish... Grow up, Irene.

Seeing the way his eyes widened made me stop and realize my actions. I pulled my hand away and turned my head, breaking the silence with a guilty, "Sorry." I really need to stop. It's so one-sided as it is: Yun said multiple times it was painful to look at. Yona even agreed with him. Hak just declared us both stupid. Kija just seemed confused until Yun explained. He was as innocent as Shin-Ah when he wanted to be, but not quite as pure. "I'll stop."

"..."

I waited for him to do something-maybe tap my shoulder and gesture for me to get off of his lap, or maybe him just stand up and I would fall to the ground, but neither of those things happened. Instead he picked me up, eliciting a yelp, and plopped me down between his legs with my back against his chest, his arms wrapped around my stomach. I lifted my head up, craning my neck to look at him in alarm, and stammered, "Wh-What are you-?"

I cut off abruptly, frozen when he leaned down and pressed his cheek against mine. "I... like sitting this way more. I can be closer to you." I opened my mouth to say something, but nothing would come out as any and all words died on my lips and on my tongue. I could feel the heat form all the way from my neck to the tips of my ears. Shin-Ah's eyes looked almost _amused_ as they looked at me, the male pecking my cheek before closing his eyes and nuzzling his face into my hair.

Unable to argue against his words I found myself choking out an, "O-Okay... I-I'm fine with that." It felt almost like electricity had shot through my body. I felt tingly and warm and weird and my toes were curled in so much they were digging into my shoes. I swallowed thickly, an almost painful warmth pooling down just below my stomach. It hurt, but it was a little pleasant as well. _D-Does he have t-to be breathing directly on my neck!?_ He claims I'm important, says that he won't leave me, so why does it feel like he does things like this to torture me? It's bad enough I can't actually _kiss_ him and now... _It hurts. Why do you have to be so innocent?_ Sure I've never had a boyfriend or a significant other before, but this is just cruel. I'm certainly pure but my mind isn't! And he's innocent all the way through... _I want to cry._

"...!" Blue suddenly stiffened, pulling away and lifting his head up as he stared off into the distance. I blinked, relaxing a little, and tried to look at him.

"What? What's wrong?"

"...Men. A few miles away from the stream. They're... setting up camp."

Fear flashed through me as I recalled previous "enemies". The bandits that came into the caves looking for Blue, Ko-Ji and the other villagers... the men in my nightmares. "A-Are they coming this way?" Will they be planning to? What can he see exactly?

"...No. They're... laying down." He and I both relaxed. I slumped against him, worn. His hold on me tightened. "They're going to sleep."

"That's... That's good." What a relief. I was scared that-

What? That I would get beaten again? That another one of my nightmares would come to life?

I remembered all the times I dreamed of people teaming up against Blue and someone getting him from behind. How he always fell into my arms and collapsed into a pile of blood and dust...

Gripping the hands laced in front of my stomach I tried to push the memory of those nightmares out of my mind. "Speaking of sleep..." Shin-Ah began slowly, "you should get some as well. You... have dark circles underneath your eyes." I was silent for a long moment, not wanting to respond, but eventually I just straight up said,

"I don't want to." I could almost see his frown despite not looking at him. "I'm not tired anymore."

"...Irene..."

I remained quiet. I didn't want to sleep-not if I could help it. If I did I would see him splattered in red and I really didn't want to have to go through that again.

"You haven't been getting any rest the past few days, Irene," He began, seeing my silent protest. "You... haven't been eating much either. You were so thin last time... I don't want to see you like that again."

"...I'm fine, Blue." I gripped his hands just a little tighter, closing my eyes as I furrowed my eyebrows together. "In case you haven't noticed... I can't exactly get hurt." My voice ended up being plain as I spoke, almost dull. Being reminded of my healing ability just made me think of Kija and how he needed that power more than I did. I'd be perfectly fine without any sort of regeneration ability... There isn't really even a point to me having it anyway. I never do anything at all. I just sit around and be a nuisance. _Why hasn't Yona thrown me out yet?_ I don't care what Shin-Ah and Kija say; Yona should be able to tell what sort of threat I am to her and her friends. I shouldn't be allowed near them. "Even if I don't eat, or don't sleep, I... I doubt anything will happen to me." If I can regenerate... what will happen if I try to starve myself? Normally your body would start to eat itself from the inside, but with my healing ability it should fix those ruined organs and put them back to how they were before. That would make starving to death impossible. And not sleeping... well, it would probably only affect my mental health. Not that it matters anyway. "So don't worry so much."

"...No."

My eyes opened and I blinked in surprise, moving to look at him. The look in his eyes made me pause, locked and trapped by his gaze. "What?"

"I... won't stop worrying about you. I... won't ever stop. You are... important to me, so I'll keep worrying."

I didn't know how to respond to that. I remained silent, just staring at him dumbfounded with a slightly agape mouth, before I felt heat flush through my face. I wasn't able to look away-his eyes were piercing, almost like they were staring into my soul. Golden molten pools... and the blue in them just served to make them even more entrancing. "Then..." I felt strange. Weird. A good weird, but still really weird. I also felt... scared. Anxious. "Then can you hurt me?" He nearly let go of me in shock. I craned my neck up, leaning closer to him. "Will you be able to hurt me? I-If I snap again, if I have another nightmare a-and attack you o-or someone else! W-Will you be able to hurt me? I-I won't be able to stop myself from hurting you a-and I know how scared you are to hurt people-to hurt the ones you care about! B-But..." He's really protective of me. Will he really be able to use force or violence if necessary? "But if I snap..." My voice cracked and it took me a moment to realize I was crying again. My eyes were going to be super swollen in the morning. It already burns like crazy. I shook my head at him, squeezing my eyes shut as I pulled away and turned my body around to face him. I gripped the fabric covering his shoulders tightly. "I-I need to know... I need to know that you'll stop me! Th-That... you'll do anything necessary to snap me out of it."

I don't know if I can die. With how many times I should had encountered death I always seemed to avoid it. I don't want to be immortal. I don't want to think of myself as immortal. But... I have a feeling that even if Shin-Ah runs me through with his sword, if he pierces my heart, or my brain, or even tries to slice me into pieces... I won't die. Or maybe I'm just making myself believe that? It certainly feels like I can't die.

"E-Even... Even if you won't hurt me... at least do something! _Anything!_ I-I don't care what you do to me, but _snap. Me. Out of it._ O-Okay?" I was cupping his face now, fingers sprawled out across his neck and jaw and cheeks. "If I do anything to hurt you... then... then..." He won't kill me. He already looks so horrified from when I suggested it. "Then punish me. Punish me anyway you see fit." Penance for my sins... "Scold me, yell at me, hate me-you can do anything to me. Just don't let me _hurt_ anyone." I was on the verge of standing, sitting on my knees and holding my face so close to Blue's there was almost no distance between us. His hands were on my waist, gripping it tightly as fear and confusion and worry flashed through his eyes. Those beautiful eyes... I don't like seeing them so pained, but I needed him to agree to this. "Okay?"

"I..." Even though he had gotten so much better at speaking lately, he seemed to have trouble with it now. Almost like the words were stuck in his throat. His eyes looked watery and red. "I'm not... going to hurt you. I... I won't _let_ you hurt anyone. S-So... I won't do anything to you. Besides, you..." He hesitated and I waited patiently. He took a shaky breath and closed his eyes, overwhelmed now. He didn't open them again. "You're much weaker than me."

At that I broke out into a trembling, relieved smile. I leaned forward, nose bumping into his lightly as I closed my eyes, tears stinging them and trailing down my cheeks. My lips hovered over his, the proximity leaving us with very little room between, and I choked out a grateful, "I know. T-Trust me, I know." I'm glad that I am. I may be useless, I may be weak... but that's at least a good thing now. I won't be able to hurt anyone.

His eyes slid open slightly, but I didn't see since mine were still closed. "Irene..." I felt him move one of his hands to cup my cheek, his thumb brushing at the tears. "You're the one person..." He had started to say something, but then paused and trailed off. "You..." I opened my eyes, only to stare in surprise in his. The golden orbs looked thoughtful. "You don't view me as a beast. Or monster. You... treated me different." I wondered where he was going with this. I knew the way I treated him was greatly different compared to the villagers, and I know that I don't view him as a monster. So... why was he bringing this up? I waited patiently for him to continue, pulling away so I was sitting down on my legs and looking up at him, holding his hands in mine. Without thinking about it I began to trace his knuckles with my thumbs despite the gloves he was wearing. Shin-Ah looked a little sad as he gathered his thoughts, but also a little happy...? "I'm... not the beautiful person you think I am. I'm... weak and ugly. But... you don't care."

I wanted to scold him, to give him a five minute lecture on how what he said about himself wasn't true and that he was the most beautiful person in all the galaxies, but he spoke again before I could continue. No... before that. It was his _expression_ that caught me off guard. He looked like he was going to start crying at any minute.

"You... treat me as a person. E-Even though I'm disgusting... even though I'm a monster... you don't run away. You don't get scared of me. Instead you... hold my hand and... kiss my cheek." He wrapped his fingers around mine, lacing them together as his lips curled back to reveal his teeth which were clenched tightly together. He was shaking a little. "You tell me I'm kind... and that I'm beautiful... even though it's not true."

"But it is!" I argued, "You even said so yourself! I told you that the villagers were wrong about you and you said, "I know"."

His eyes closed and he shook his silently as he held the tears back. "I... I lied." I stared at him in disbelief, unable to believe what I just heard. My heart sunk down into my stomach at his words. _He... really isn't starting to believe it? Despite how many times I've told him?_ He... still hates himself? "I... didn't want to see you upset anymore...so I lied. I... don't like it when you're sad." His hold on my hands tightened and I squeezed back, not entirely sure how I felt at that moment. Despaired? Heartbroken?

"Blue..."

"But... despite being a monster, despite being unable to save you so many times... you don't hate me. And..." He went silent for a long time, deep in thought. He must not know how to say what it is he wants to. I remained quiet, though my breathing was nearly as shaky as his, and I anxiously waited for him to speak again. I was scared of where this conversation was going.

For a moment I was thinking, _Is he breaking up with me?_ until I realized that you can't really "break up" if you're not together. Then I realized I meant it in a "is he tearing our friendship apart" way. Regardless I still felt like I was going to break down into a blubbering mess once our conversation was over. I was terrified.

I... I need Blue. I want Blue. I _have_ to have Blue.

"It makes me happy," He finally settled on. I got snapped out of my darker thoughts and looked at him startled. "Being with you... makes me happy. And... I don't want to lose that. So... thank you. I... won't let you hurt anyone; I'll snap you out of the nightmares... just like before." That's right... he already did that, didn't he? Even though he hadn't known what they were about. I wonder if he ever figured it out...? I wouldn't put it past him. He was dense and naive to a lot of things, but other times he could be wicked smart. "So... you should sleep. I'll be here to wake you up... so you can rest now."

Shin-Ah... "Have I ever told you how much I love you?"

He looked surprised only for a moment before he smiled. I had froze, and I was so busy staring at the sight that I didn't notice when he leaned down and pressed his lips to my forehead. I wasn't even sure if I was staring at him anymore-I was just stunned. "You... don't say it that often," He mumbled, voice barely audible with a hint of amusement and... was that longing? Did I hear that right? "Sleep now."

"...I-If... If you insist." I did hear that, right? And I wasn't hallucinating when he smiled either? Whatever the case I found myself curling up around Shin-Ah's lap with one of his hands held close to my face, the knuckles of his hand just barely brushing my lips as I cuddled it. It didn't take long for me to fall asleep, the exhaustion from the emotion and fatigue from not sleeping knocking me out just as quickly as those drugs Yun gave me.

I woke up the next morning at dawn feeling lightheaded. Shin-Ah was completely passed out and was now curled up against me with an arm draped over me and holding me to him, so his shift must have ended a while ago. I'm pretty sure it was Hak's turn after Shin-Ah, so Kija should still be sleeping, and since there's no smell of food or arguing that means Yun and Yona are still in the tent asleep as well. Fur tickled my face, a tail underneath my nose almost as if to show off as a mustache, and I groaned and raised a hand up to my head as I tried to recall everything that happened last night. Shin-Ah didn't stir at the noise or movement, presumably exhausted, and I was a bit grateful for that. He needed his sleep. _God, I don't remember..._ How tired was I?

I yawned. Still tired apparently. Few hours must not be enough to catch up on multiple days rest. Turning my head so I could stare groggily at Shin-Ah's form I subconsciously reached a hand over and gently brushed some of the hair out of his face, running my fingers down his cheek.

So beautiful...

I began to trace the lines on his face, tracing his cheekbones gently with my thumb before running it gingerly across the circles underneath his eyes. Sometimes I'm still convinced I was dead. He was certainly angelic enough. _I'm in love with an angel, heaven forbid. She made a believer with the touch of her skin..._ A tired, amused smile spread across my face as I remembered a song I used to listen to. _How long has it been since I've heard a song? God, it feels so long. "I would give you rings of gold, I'd even sing you poetry, I would keep you from all harm if you would just stay beside me~"._ It went something like that, anyway. What song was I listening to before I went to the game? Hell if I remember. I'm pretty sure it was something JubyPhonic had done a cover of... she was an amazing singer. "I won't die, I won't die, I don't know why I won't die," I suddenly thought of and muttered under my breath, rolling on my back so Shin-Ah's arm was now resting on my stomach. "But they'll... kill you if they see you trying now to save my life..."

A horrible and odd realization hit me as I remembered-who was it? JoyDreamer's cover?

"Ever since the time I was born I was treated just like a demon to scorn..." _And on my skin you'll see my sin in punishment I took._ What's another line? "All this kindness is unknown 'cause I'm really a foe?" _What's your name and what kind of person might you be? You ask in vain, I have no name, or tongue to tell you so._ "Okay, let's stop." I sighed and gave another yawn, before rolling onto my other side so I was facing Shin-Ah. _No relateable songs._ I scooted closer and snuggled my face into Shin-Ah's chest, the sleeping male responding by burying his face into my hair and tightening his hold on me. "I remember tears streamin' down your face when I said I'd never let you go... when all those shadows almost killed your light~" Yeah, my voice just cracked. I give up. I love that song though. _Just close your eyes, the sun is going down... You'll be alright; no one can hurt you now. Come morning light you and I'll be safe and sound~._

 _Me Vs. Gravity_ was probably my favorite version of the song. It was so pretty. Also the first version I heard, honestly, so maybe I was a little bit biased. Anyway, as I started to match Blue's breathing and doze off to sleep I sung the song in my head, having missed listening to it after so long. I was amazed I still remembered the lyrics.

"Mine..." I mumbled, tiredly gripping onto the fabric of his kimono. Shin-Ah just breathed quietly in response, snoring softly and cutely and- _whoa!_ I almost yelped as he turned, rolling onto his front and knocking me onto my back as he raised a knee up and tangled a leg with mine-or at least attempted to, and hugged me close with his head resting on my chest for a pillow. I went still, startled, and found myself a little bit more awake. I cringed a little as one of the horns on his mask tried to dig into my throat, so I carefully pulled the mask off the top of his head and set it on the ground on my other side. I then paused, not knowing what to do with my one arm for a moment, before deciding to wrap it around his shoulders and loosely hold it there in a half-hug.

Shin-Ah made a noise in his sleep, almost akin to a mumble, and moved a little as he nuzzled his face against my chest. _I... I don't know if it's a good thing that I'm a girl or not anymore._ But breasts make good pillows, so... I won't fight him. Besides, the position's usually reversed anyway-it's not fair if he can't use my chest as a pillow when I use his all the time. I tried to close my eyes and sleep, and after an hour or so I was finally able to relax and calm my racing heart. My breathing matched his and before long I was back asleep, exhaustion taking over.

The next time I awoke Shin-Ah was the pillow again, but the difference was that he was awake. And I probably looked less than flattering if the drool I felt trailing down my chin had anything to say about that. It was the first thing my brain registered when I woke up-the side of my mouth was wet. So I reached up and rubbed at it with my sleeve, mumbling and moaning about how I was still sleepy, and turned on my side as I buried my face with my arms as a hand rubbed my bicep up-and-down in a pattern. It... reminded me of Tiana, so in my sleep-deprived state I ended up thinking that was who I was currently cuddling.

"You need to wake up, Irene. Breakfast's almost done." The voice was in the distance. I didn't recognize it at first. I groaned in response.

"I don't wanna get up! Five more minutes..." I don't want to go to school. I want to sleep more. "We did nothing but march since school started... I wanna sleep." My legs seriously hurt. So does my stomach, actually. I'll pass out if I have to march in that kind of heat again...

"...Seriously, who the hell are you, Irene?"

"I don't wanna math!"

"...Shin-Ah... wake your girlfriend before I smack her with this thing."

"..." That name... I know that name. Where do I know that name? It sounds... nice. Finally deciding to enter the world of the living I opened my eyes and cringed as sunlight filtered in, rolling onto my back. I rubbed at my burning eyes, a very painful headache forming, and I yawned and stretched out loudly before going limp and collapsing against the person I was cuddling with. I looked up with half-lidded eyes, barely able to see their face through all the hair. "Good... morning." Mask!

Another blink and the memories came rushing back to me. I shot up like lightning, screeching, "Shin-Ah!" before suddenly growing very lightheaded and swaying. He caught me by the shoulders before I could fall over. "I don't... feel so good..."

Yun, who was still glaring at me with ladle in hand, said as he filled up bowls of food and distributed them, "You'll feel better after you get some food in your stomach! And don't you dare let Ao eat all of it again this time!" Huh...? Oh, yeah...

"That was a thing I did, wasn't it?" I forgot.

"Yeah, it was!"

"Y-Yun," Kija suddenly interjected, raising a hand up, "D-Don't you think you're being a little harsh on her? She's just woken up." Yun sent him a glare as well.

"I'll yell at her until she learns to take care of her health! She's stupid!"

"Yes mother..."

"Don't call me that!"

Hak sighed at this, already sipping the soup he took without Yun's consent, "Just admit it; you're the perfect mother image." The poor brunette looked like he was going to tear his own hair out. I couldn't tell if it was because Kija and Hak had gained up on him or because Hak had started eating before he finished distributing everything evenly. Shin-Ah, who was still holding me by my shoulders, helped me sit up properly and lean against him as I waited for the world to stop spinning. I felt light headed. I also felt... weird. And I also really needed to use the bathroom, but that can wait until after food I suppose. "Ah, thank you for the food."

"Whatever," Yun grumbled, irritable, and handed Yona and Kija's there. After a moment he stood up and walked over, carefully handing me and Shin-Ah ours. He knelt down in front of me and glared, causing me to stiffen as the worst of thoughts ran through my mind. He opened his mouth, presumably to scold me for something that he deemed "stupid", only to pause and knit his eyebrows together. "Are you feeling alright? You're paler than usual... and your eyes are all swollen." I felt Shin-Ah tense from his spot beside me, the male quickly turning his head and leaning down so we were closer in height. Yun leaned back in surprise whereas I remained completely still, unmoving as his eyes most likely bored into mine from behind his mask. "Sh-Shin-Ah!?" Yun was a little surprised at Blue's sudden action, though he quietly reprimanded himself underneath his breath. He muttered something about how he should have known he would have reacted like that.

Shin-Ah then turned his head. I followed his gaze, wondering where he was staring, and blinked. "Blood..." What? Seeing him reach his free hand out towards the end of my dress I reacted quickly, almost as if I knew what was wrong with me when I saw the red on my ankle, and latched my fingers tightly around his wrist with big eyes.

"There's nothing."

He frowned. "You're-" Feeling a bit panicky I hardened my voice and repeated firmly,

"There's _nothing_."

Yun decided not to intervene on the staring contest and moved over to sit next to Yona, who was staring at me with intense eyes. Even without looking at her I could feel her unnerving stare on my back. Shin-Ah's fingers twitched, like he was going to wrap them around my wrist in a lock, and a few more moments of us staring stubbornly at one another I released my hold and backed away. He gazed at me a little longer, watching me as I ate, before his shoulders slumped and he lowered his head. He ate slowly, completely different from his normal eating routine. Everyone around the smoldering firewood knew that he was upset; it was rather obvious he was sulking, but I pushed the guilt away and resumed eating my meal.

"Thank you for the food," I murmured softly, though Yun could barely hear it. He just nodded, the atmosphere heavy, and continued eating. I really didn't feel like explaining to Shin-Ah why I was bleeding, or how to stop it, because I knew he would ask me how to "fix" what was wrong if he found out that being on my period caused me pain. I pressed my legs together, highly uncomfortable, and tried to ignore the ache that formed. I felt like crying. _It hurts..._ It felt like someone had reached a hand in and started to twist my insides around. It ruined my appetite a little. Normally I don't get cramps, but when I did it hurt immensely. I racked my brain for what I could do-pads don't exactly _exist_ in this day and age, so what the hell am I supposed to do? I'm not going to walk around bleeding from downstairs and leaving a puddle wherever I go! I... _Oh jeez._ I felt humiliated and ashamed.

I held the bowl tightly in my hands, blinking away the tears welling up in my eyes, and leaned over slightly as I hugged the bowl to my stomach in an attempt to alleviate the pain.

"Irene..." Kija hesitantly began, knowing full well I might try and run from a conversation with him again, "What's wrong?"

"Nothing." My voice wavered slightly, but I forced it to remain strong. "I'm fine." I can feel it... oh god...

I bit my bottom lip, trying to ignore Shin-Ah's and everyone else's gazes. _What do I do? I-I don't..._ It's a natural process of life; I can't control it, but... there's nothing I can _do_. Yona's the same age as I am, so she had to have started her period a year or two ago, but Hak won't ever let me _near_ her so I can't ask for her help! And Shin-Ah's a guy and beyond innocent so I can't even talk to him about it, and there's no way in hell I'm talking to Hak, Kija, or Yun about this-regardless of Yun being a medicine expert. _D-Damn it..._ My eyes burned so bad I had to squeeze them shut.

"Irene...?" Shin-Ah asked quietly, worried. Seeing him raise his hand I flinched and nearly pulled away, ready to cry out for him not to touch me, when a light brown cloak was suddenly wrapped around me.

"Princess?" Hak started to get up, alarmed, but Yona ignored him and instead pulled me onto my feet, holding me close to her. I froze. "Princess, you shouldn't-" He's even being blatant about his distrust of me...

 _I-I didn't mean to attack Kija..._ I didn't want to hurt anyone. I-I just-

"Irene and I need to have some girl talk! It's been so long since I've spoken to her properly~" She beamed and hugged me, causing me to sniffle and blink in confusion. My chest hurt, swarmed with emotions, and I desperately tried to understand what was going on. Yona... she's-She's not going to kick me out, is she? Sh-She's going to do this so she can get rid of me and keep Shin-Ah... right? "Let's go, go, go~ There's so much I want to talk to you about!" She started to push me out of the camp, completely ignoring Hak who was protesting against this whole thing. I let out confused and surprised noises, trying to demand an explanation, but she had none of it. "Ah-Blue Dragon!" Yona looked down in alarm and I froze when I felt a hand gripping my ankle tightly, keeping me from walking any further. "Uh... Sh-Shin-Ah...?" Yona looked as awkward and uncomfortable as I felt, if not less so.

Though we could not see his eyes, it didn't take a genius to know that they were trained on the trail of blood going down my leg and stopping at his hand, his fingers blocking the liquid from dripping to the ground. I could feel the hairs on the back of my neck stand up, disgust at myself welling up strongly within me as I stopped breathing completely. Thankfully the cloak blocked the view of the blood and leg from the other people in camp, but Shin-Ah, Yona, Ao, and I could see it perfectly. The bowl with the food Shin-Ah had been eating was now completely empty and discarded on the ground, the male's attention now captured by the red liquid. A deep frown adorned his face and I tried my hardest not to break down into tears.

I know I say it a lot when I shouldn't and I know it probably won't happen because of death spitting me back out of its mouth all the time, but I _really_ wanted to curl up into a hole and die right now. This was the most humiliating moment of my life.

"Blood." He repeated, referring to our earlier conversation. I cringed, wincing a little, and had to force my eyes open as I looked down at him. His lifted his head up, gazing at me from behind his mask. "...Where?"

I tried to pull my foot away, but he held firmly onto me. Yona spoke again, trying to plead with him to let us go and telling him it was urgent business, but he wasn't listening. He was stubborn.

I'm not sure if I love or hate him for that anymore. "I-I'm not... hurt. It's just-" My voice cracked and I clamped my mouth shut, blinking away the tears as I swallowed thickly. Shin-Ah sat up a little straighter, frown deepening even more when he noticed I was on the verge of crying. I shifted a little in his and Yona's hold, and as I tried to think of the best way to get out of this I found myself wondering why Yona was even attempting to help me. She should hate me, just like Hak and Yun do. She's as confusing as Kija... stupid. A-And now- Okay. Calm down. I took a deep, shaky breath. "It's... It's a girl thing, o-okay? Let me go."

His hand loosened, as if he were about to, but after second thoughts he decided that wasn't a good idea and tightened his hold. "Tell me. Or... Or I'll find it. And... who hurt you." His voice hardened at his afterthought.

"Nobody hurt her, Shin-Ah!" Yona told him, looking almost desperate now. She tried to pull me away, but to no avail. "It's really a girl thing-!" Yona gasped and I shrieked when I was suddenly falling, pulled forcefully away from her and downwind. There were cries of alarm and protest around the campsite, mainly from Yun and Kija, and I tried frantically to push myself away from Blue. He didn't understand. "Shin-!?" Yona had taken a step forward, ready to try and pull me away, but there was a growl and I could only yelp as I was suddenly knocked onto my back with Blue hovering protectively over me, lips curled back and fangs bared. "Blue... Dragon?" She looked stunned.

Meanwhile, I was utterly terrified. This was very much unlike Blue. He remained sitting beside me, but his hands were on either side of me, the male practically _glaring_ at the woman. I didn't know what to do. I really, really didn't. Normally I at least had an idea, but... this was... different. It reminded me a little of his reaction to when Hak had punched me the one time, but... it didn't feel the same. It felt almost...

Territorial? I would say possessive, but territorial seemed to fit more in this specific situation.

Kija was in the process of getting up when Shin-Ah gave him a look as well. He froze. Yun just looked a bit too scared to try to do anything. Hak was gripping his Hsu Quandao cautiously, ready to use it if need be. I was barely even able to see all this, only able to get glimpses over Shin-Ah's shoulders as I pushed myself up with my elbows. But as I attempted to sit up Shin-Ah suddenly decided that he didn't like the campsite and hoisted me up, hands on my waist as he placed me over his shoulder.

Needless to say I screamed, kicking and clinging fearfully to his kimono and fur and nearly pulling the fur _and_ the mask off of his head in my desperate attempt to find something to hand on to. "P-Put me down! Put me down, _now!_ " What the hell is he doing!? He's never acted like this before! "Sh-Shin-Ah! Hey!" He was walking away. Keeping a tight hold of his clothing with one hand I began to smack his back with my other, shrieking. I was going to get blood all over him! A-And oh god I'm so high up... "Set me _down!_ " I looked towards the group, but none were moving. Realizing quickly that none were going to rush to my rescue I went back to hounding on Shin-Ah, feeling only the slightest bit remorse for it was only because I didn't understand his actions and because I didn't want him to get dirtied due to me. "S-Stop this! What are you doing!?" Explain! Explain to me! "Th-This isn't funny!" I'm not sure how long I screamed at him, demanding to be put down, demanding answers for his weird behavior, but after a while I gave up and just cried silently, hiccuping as I buried my face into his back as best as I could. "Wh-Why... a-are you d-doing this...?" I felt pathetic. Weak and pathetic and disgusting and-

Well, not even human. Why did I have to be female? If I was a guy then I wouldn't have to go through this. _Any_ of this. I-It would just be so much easier...

"W-Why do you h-hate me?" Shin-Ah froze. Why is he suddenly being so mean? He was never mean! S-So... why is he acting like this now? Wh-What changed?

"I don't..." He turned his head, stunned by the question. His mouth opened and closed, but nothing would come out except strangled sounds. "I... I want... I want to help."

"But you _can't!_ " I wailed. "N-Not with th-this! I-It's a-a girl thing; you can't do anything about it!" Somebody please just tear my heart out... I can't take this anymore. I want to die. I truly, really do. "Just leave it alone!"

He stood there in silence as I continued to cry, choking on my tears as I tried my hardest to hold the painful sobs back. Shin-Ah just listened to the sounds, standing completely still, before he slowly and reluctantly set me down against a tree. He reached a hand out, almost as if to cup my face, before he froze. I hiccuped and looked at him through bleary eyes, watching as he pulled his hand away. I could make out dark spots on his kimono. I knew what it was from. I just cried harder. Shin-Ah looked broken, like he was conflicted and didn't know what to do and like he had been punched in the face, and after a while he stood up again and took a hesitant step back. I choked and went quiet, lifting my head up and staring silently with wide red eyes as he backed away.

"Sh... Shin-Ah?" I asked, voice cracking as fear welled up in my heart. _He's not..._ He's not leaving me, right? What is he doing? He took another step back... and another. And another. Something inside of me seemed to break. _He really does hate me. H-He..._ He's abandoning me. Blue is... leaving me alone. Even though he promised, even though he _said_ he wouldn't. "Why a-are you...?"

He just turned around and ran, going back the way we had came.

I couldn't process this. There was no way this was happening. I wasn't able to breathe, I wasn't able to think-I could only stare as his back faded from view. It was as if nearly every nightmare of mine were coming true.

That he hated me. That he was leaving me. That he found me disgusting and horrible. That he was _gone_.

He said he wouldn't abandon me... but he lied. Wh-Why? Why did he lie? He only ever lied once before-no... was our entire _friendship_ a lie? W-Was he s-seriously just being _nice_ to me? Did he get tired of it? I-I can't-

"No..." My voice was small and quiet and I could barely even get the words out. " _No!_ Shin-Ah!" I tried to get up, but I quickly grew lightheaded and the pain in my stomach made me collapse on my front, shaking and choking and sobbing. I dug my fingers into the ground, whimpering and breaking apart slowly, and ground my teeth together tightly as my lips curled back. "Blue! D- _Damn it! Agghh!"_ I let out a frustrated scream, punching the ground as hard as I could. _I hate this!_ Damn it all to hell!

I had a memory back to the time in the caves when we first met Yona and I woken up and he was gone. He could have left me then; Blue could have abandoned me there. But he didn't and instead said that he _wasn't_ going to leave-not unless I came with him. S-So why...? I stopped crying, but the tears still fell as I slowly began to put the pieces together. I felt a bit numb as I did so. What reason could he have had to lie then? Was he even lying? No liar would go so far if they had a chance like that. Blue would _never_ lie about such a thing; he was nice and because of his pure heart he would never lie about something like that. He cared about me then and was serious. He wasn't lying last night either. So why is he leaving me alone now?

I laid there motionlessly on the ground, laying on my side in the dirt and grass, and just thought. He didn't seem to care about the blood whereas it was all I was freaking out about, so did he really think me disgusting? I think that was just my self-conscious talking. So what could have possessed him to...

 _Oh..._ I yelled at him. I never yelled at him. That must have scared him. Sniffling I closed my eyes, trying to imagine how he must have felt in that moment. _I feel like such a jerk now..._ I'm an idiot. But he scared me with the way he was acting so it was justified, wasn't it? No, that's still no excuse. I shouldn't have yelled at him; he didn't deserve that. He just wanted to help. I shouldn't have freaked out like I did. I breathed a heavy sighed and opened my eyes, bringing a hand up and covering my face with it. _Damn it._ Why does he make me so emotional? This is ridiculous.

I pushed myself up into a sitting position, slouching over as I tried to think of a good way to apologize other than just saying "I'm sorry" fifty times, and remained in silence. A good half hour had to have passed before I thought of getting up, and when I was just about to I heard a familiar voice call my name. I looked up startled to see Yona running towards me in the distance, a sulking Shin-Ah right behind her with his head lowered and a cute Ao pressing her nose to his cheek in an attempt to cheer him up. "Irene! How are you feeling?"

"...Depressed," I answered bluntly, eyes half-lidded as a wave of guilt and regret washed over me when I looked at the source of my troubles. "I-" I cut myself off when I saw Shin-Ah wasn't looking at me. He seemed to be looking everywhere _except_ at me. I tried not to flinch at the arrow that struck my heart. I swallowed thickly, instead rubbing at my eyes. "I'm kidding; I'm fine." I laughed a little, forcing a grin as I looked at Yona. "Stomach still hurts a lot though. Uh, what's up?"

"Shin-Ah came back without you, so we were all freaking out, but then he grabbed me and got into a fight with Hak and..." Yona made a face, looking very confused and concerned at the same time, and I tried not to laugh at how adorable she looked as she scrunched her nose up and furrowed her eyebrows. "Well, he said he needed me to help you and so... I grabbed some things!" She held up a package wrapped with green cloth and a... belt thing on it? "I knew your dress would need to be washed, so I grabbed some of my extra clothes for you to wear again."

"..." Seeing her genuine eyes made me want to cry again, pain striking my heart. _Yona... why are you helping me so much?_ "Thank you." She just beamed. Then she grabbed my hand.

"Let's go before it gets any worse, okay? The stream's nearby and Shin-Ah will be keeping guard while you clean up!"

I wasn't able to say much as she led me away. "Wh-Whoa! O-Okay! Slow down; I can't run that fast!"

"Sorry!"

It took only about five minutes to reach the stream-a new record if you ask me, and I watched solemnly as Shin-Ah sat down with his back against a tree, facing away from us as he played with Ao who nibbled on his fingers. The dark cloud that hung above his head was clear for everyone to see, and as Yona took my bloody clothes from me as I stepped into the stream she made a comment on it. Her voice was a whisper as she asked, "What happened between you two?"

I kept my arms crossed over my chest as I lowered myself down into the water, uncomfortable being bare in the presence of another person. I feigned innocence and asked, "What do you mean?"

"You and Shin-Ah! When he carried you away like that..." She frowned and all thoughts of where this conversation could be going plagued my mind. "He didn't do anything, did he?" I blinked and stared, seriously hoping she wasn't implying what I think she was. "Y-You know..." Her face was a little pink. "Y-You two are together, right? So when he grabbed you he didn't... _do_ anything to you... like that... right?"

"...The kind of person do you think he is? And we're not a couple!" My voice raised a little bit at the last one and I swore out of the corner of my eye I saw Shin-Ah get more depressed. Though he couldn't see it I cast him an incredulous look, wondering how what I said was depressing in the least. Well, depressing for _him_ maybe. I shook my head at the thoughts rushing through my head, dismissing them, and looked at Yona again. I said in a hushed voice, "I don't know what he was thinking, okay? He just grabbed me and then left me there."

Yona looked relieved as she placed a hand over her chest. "Oh, good... He was acting really strange so I got really worried. I'm glad he didn't hurt you." At that I stared at her again, drawing out a curious look from her. I frowned, sinking a little deeper into the water, and tried to ignore the painful mixture of emotions swelling up inside of me. "What's wrong, Irene? Oh, or do you want me to call you "Rae"? I remember you saying something like that before."

I shook my head. "You can... call me whatever you want. "Rae", "Irene", or even "Haebinna". But..." I hesitated, looking up at her and meeting her gaze. We were speaking normally now. "Why are you being so nice to me?" She blinked, surprised. "I... After wh-what I did... why haven't you kicked me out?" Her eyes widened. "I'm a _threat_ , Yona. You should... You should hate me o-or kick me out, o-or _something_. S-So why are you _helping_ me? You and Kija... you both remain so nice e-even though... what I did..." My voice cracked and I felt my eyes water again. I blinked a couple times and turned my head away, sniffling a little. I hugged myself a little tighter. "Hak and Yun hate me-I understand them. B-But you two a-are... I don't get it."

"Irene..." Yona's voice softened and her eyes became sad as she smiled. I flinched when she reached a hand out, only to open my eyes in surprise when she cupped my face. Her forehead was suddenly resting against mine. "We do not hate you because we _care_. You are my Brown Dragon and you are my friend. We may not all get along at times, but the fact will not change. Hak and Yun do not hate you; they just do not wish to see others harmed. Kija and I... we are not afraid. We accept you for who you are; your fears, your insecurities... we know your love for Shin-Ah is strong. And while Hak is wary of you because of that I believe it is a good thing you care so much about him. Love strengthens a person and if there comes a time when Shin-Ah is in trouble and Kija, Hak, and I can not help him... I have no doubt you will come to his rescue." She pulled away and opened her eyes again, her smile warm and her hair flickering like flames dancing in the wind. Her beauty was almost unnatural. "Maybe I should hate you because of what you did to Kija... but I don't. You were upset because you thought something happened to your precious person, and... I know that feeling." Her eyes closed in memory, a frown adorning her face now.

The next time she looked at me I found myself staring at the fire in her eyes.

"I would do _anything_ to protect my loved ones and you, Haebinna... are the same. That is why I'm helping; _that_ is why I haven't kicked you out yet. It's because we are similar."

 _Yona..._ I couldn't say anything to her words. I was just stunned. But at least now I could understand. Why she didn't push me aside... Kija was right about her. The thought made me surprised. Since when did I start listening to Kija's words like that? I've been trying to avoid him. "I-I guess... Thank you, then. For... not kicking me out or... hating me." Or letting Hak kill me, I silently added. Though I doubted Shin-Ah would let that happen. Or Kija, really. I feel like he would join Shin-Ah and help him stop Hak... the two don't seem to get along. They're always arguing and threatening to fight each other. "Um, hey, Yona?" I asked when a thought came to me. She smiled at me.

"Yes?"

"Uh, d-do... do you know what all the Brown Dragon's powers are?"

She frowned and shook her head apologetically. "I'm afraid not... Kija knows more about the Brown Dragon than I do and I had grown up hearing the story. All I know is that the adviser is a close friend of the King and the healer of wounds." Wounds? "There are also rumors that the Brown Dragon was hatched from the same egg as another Dragon, but I don't know which one." She suddenly giggled, "You and Kija really could be siblings!"

"Yeah, no." As much as my original brother loved white hair I am _not_ accepting anyone else as my brother. Shin-Ah and Ao are the only family I'm taking in. "And disease isn't a wound; it's an illness. Oh!" Oh god-could it be? Does that really mean I can heal him!? "Oh my god!" I stopped covering my chest to cover my mouth, falling back and sitting in the water halfway as I exclaimed, "I can heal Kija! Maybe! I might be able to! I dunno! Oh my god!" Excited at the prospect of healing him and finally being able to face him without fear or guilt suffocating me I quickly grabbed the wash cloth and soap bar and got to washing myself.

Yona didn't seem that excited though. "You... What if you nearly die again?"

I paused and looked at her with furrowed eyebrows. "Huh?" She looked concerned.

"Last time you used your powers you... almost died, Irene. You lost so much blood and..." She took a deep breath. "How do we know what will happen if you use your powers again? We should just let Kija's wounds heal naturally." My smile slipped and the joy I felt plunged into despair. I slumped over, sullen and depressed again.

"But..." If Kija's leg heals naturally he might never be able to run on it again. He'll be limping the rest of his life. And his face... I bit the inside of my cheek, recalling the cut going across his nose and cheek. "It's my fault he's like that. I... I need to fix it." Even if I get hurt in the process... even if Blue gets mad at me again. "Besides, the worst that'll happen is that I might end up with a wound on my leg myself. I'm pretty sure I only coughed up blood because it was disease." The people probably had tuberculosis or something.

...Now I wished I googled what was all in the medicine. I could tell people the cure to that now and save everyone so much trouble in the far future. Freaking-okay. Calm down.

"..." Yona and I had a staring contest neither of us wanted to lose, and after a while she gave in and sighed. "Fine. I won't stop you. But... I'm not going to speak for anyone else." I knew she was talking about Shin-Ah. Kija and Yun would probably be against me using my abilities again as well. Hak just wouldn't care one way or another. If it doesn't affect Yona he's not interested. "It's your decision, Irene. Just..." Her eyes stared into mine. "Make sure it's not a bad one."

At that I grinned so wide I'm surprised I didn't bust my lip. "Please, when do I ever make bad decisions?" She thought about that, whereas I could just imagine Hak or Yun snorting at that. "Exactly, see!" I added quickly before she could come up with something. "I'm the adviser-I know things! Don't argue with me, hun."

"You're taking your role very seriously now," She commented almost jokingly. "Wait until I tell Kija about this."

"Don't you dare!" I pointed my finger at her, scowling mocking as I pretended to panic. "Nice as he is, I don't want to deal with another one of his speeches!" She laughed, appearing to be honestly enjoying herself. Grinning widely and watching her laugh eventually caused me to start laughing as well, my strange "Hya hya hya" laugh just serving to make her laugh harder.

"Oh wow!" She breathed, tears in her eyes, "O-Okay... I'm alright. I'm alright. Phew... It's nice to be able to laugh like this with another girl." I looked her confused when she said those words and she just waved me off. "Don't worry about it, Irene. It's just... I never had friends at the castle growing other than Hak and..." Yona trailed off, expression darkening. I became alarmed at the look in her eyes. Her eyes... I wanted to say "hatred" but... it didn't fit right. There was definite hate there, yes, but... not the kind you give to someone who has done you wrong again and again. It's more... _at home_.

Her cousin. The current King. It's been so long since that conversation that I almost forgot about it. Her cousin killed her father and took the throne from her, chasing her and Hak out of the castle. Hak and her cousin... that was what she was going to say, wasn't it? "Well, you can be at ease now!" I told her, quickly diverting the subject as I reached over and awkwardly pat her on the shoulder. She snapped out of it. "There's no need to fear, because I am here! Remind me to give you a friend hug once I'm out of here, okay? Okay. Great. Awesome."

Yona smiled, grateful for the distraction. "Thank you."

"No need to thank me for my hugs, darling. I'm always willing to give. You can ask Shin-Ah." Who I still need to apologize to... God dang it. Why is everything becoming so complicated? _Ugh_. I hate life.

 **I had so many awesome fight scenes written, but then I had to delete because I couldn't find a good explanation. There was also another reappearance from our favorite yellow dragon, and in one version the chapter was ALL ABOUT HIM and a conversation he and Irene ended up having, but I didn't like it so I had to rewrite it to. Agh~ Che. But this works quite well-closure with Yona, struggling emotions with Shin-Ah, and hope for clearing things up with Kija. Her and Hak are still hating on one another and she's pretty darn convinced Yun hates her.**

 **And the reason for Irene's habit of apologizing is revealed. Badah~ Welp, read and review. Hopefully this chapter calms you guys down after the rage of my not updating (Hides behind Iron Man)**

 **I also had a goofier version where Yona and Irene were running from Shin-Ah with Kija and Yun weighing him down, Hak just lazily trailing behind. But I decided not to do that. Over fifteen thousand words... (Falls over in exhaustion) woo! Happy Birthday!**

 **It made me super happy when they addressed female problems in one of the recent chapters of the manga. T_T She's SIXTEEN! I don't care if it's fictional or not, there are some things that NEED explanations!**

 **...I'm also going to post this now before I change my mind. You guys deserve an update after so long.**


	15. Budding Friendship

The dress Yona had loaned me was a pale green in color, matched with a darker vest and a blue sash. It was a bit tight due to the differences with mine and Yona's waistlines, but other than that it worked quite well. She also lent me a cloth belt, which was what women used in this era when it was "that time of the month". I actually ended up crying again when I tried to thank her, having gotten dressed and fiddling with the sleeves of the dress as I tried to get across how grateful I was, but when I started choking on the words and tearing up Yona had just smiled and hugged me, leaving me to stand awkwardly stiff with my arms against my chest as I tried to finish getting out the words. She held me close to her, warm and kind, and as I tried to apologize for crying _while_ crying she just cut me off and told me that it was okay. That I could always come to her when I needed help again. That she didn't care what Hak said or thought- I was her friend and that was enough.

I ended up clamping my mouth shut as she said that, choking everything down along with all the emotions swelling up in my chest. I just stood there, embracing the warmth, and accepted the hug despite not returning it. After a while of just standing there and Yona smiling softly and hugging me, I finally forced myself to pull away and tugged at the sleeves of the dress I was wearing. I sniffled, blinking a few times, and swallowed as I shifted from foot-to-foot. "I... um..." I nodded. "Yeah. Th-Thank you." My voice cracked a little, squeaking, and I tried not to flinch. She just shook her head at me.

"It's alright, Irene. Ah! We should probably hurry back to let everyone know that you're okay; they all went into a panic after Shin-Ah ran off with you like that." I looked at her weirdly when she said that, furrowing my eyebrows and tilting my head. I'm pretty sure the only person would be the slightest bit worried is Kija, as I was convinced that no matter what Yona said Yun and Hak completely detested me. _Wait, crap!_ Shin-Ah. I still need to apologize to him. I had gotten so caught up with talking to Yona that I had almost completely forgotten he was still sulking by the tree.

Damn it, Irene. He's top priority, _remember?_ As nice as it is to have someone else you can consider a friend, namely a _female_ friend, _Blue comes first._ "A-Actually, can... can you... go on ahead?" Yona looked surprised, confusion slowly forming on her face. "I... I need to... talk to Blue. Shin-Ah. Ah, uh..." Name. His name. Shin-Ah. Not Blue. Blue is his nickname. Shin-Ah is his name. "Him." Right. Let's go with that.

"Oh, of course..." She nodded, offering another smile. "Well, don't take too long. We'll be heading out as soon as you guys get back. Yun wants us to reach the closest town by twilight." Instead of saying anything I just nodded again, still a little too emotional to trust myself to talk. I was already a great mess; I didn't want to become even worse before I manage to say a word to my best friend. "I'll see you then!" With a beautiful beaming smile she nodded her head in a slight bow as if to gesture "later" and quickly ran off. "I'll go see if Yun needs help with anything!" I waited, watching until her back was gone from view. Then, after a few moments of standing by myself in silence, I dragged my feet over to the tree where Shin-Ah was sulking and letting Ao play with his fingers.

My heart lurched painfully in my chest, reminding that _I_ was the reason he was so upset right now, and as he turned his head away from me childishly as I knelt down beside him I couldn't help but flinch. He was really upset with me...

Ao stopped nibbling on his fingers the moment he turned his head away, sensing the change in the air. She blinked and let out a cute "p'kyuu" in confusion, flicking her ears and tilting her head as her nose twitched. I tried to give the squirrel a smile, to assure her that everything was okay, but it died on my lips and I was unable to say anything. Frowning deeply I looked down, closing my eyes, and took a deep breath. Knowing full well that he still wasn't looking at me I raised my head and gazed at him, curling my shaking hands into tight fists.

"I... I wasn't kidding or... b-being _mean_ when I said it was a girl thing." I have no idea what to say. How to explain. The last thing I wanted to do was give him the "talk" when I myself had never really received it. I just listened to my surroundings and found about the natural laws of life growing up. Being the youngest of four siblings and the one with the disability left you to be babied and "sheltered", but Blue... he was sheltered in a totally different way than I had been. I watched him as he stiffened, going completely still the moment I started to talk, and I could feel Ao as she jumped up onto my shoulder and nuzzled her face into my neck. She let out another squeak. "It... guys... don't really go _through_ what was... h-happening, so Y-Yona was really the only I could talk to a-and you know how much Hak doesn't like me s-so there was no way I could go to her and I didn't want to let _you_ find out because-because I knew you would react like you did a-and I didn't want to worry you, and I _know_ you're going to make a comment about how you're going to worry anyway because that's what you do-You're Shin-Ah a-and Blue a-and you worry about other people because that's what you do!" I curled my fists tighter, digging my fingers in my palms, too nervous to even think about speaking with my hands like I normally do. "Y-You're a worrywort a-and so am I so sometimes that c-causes us to clash and stuff, b-but I've never been in this situation before i-in this-this _place_ ," I struggled for a word to describe it, not wanting to say "era" or "time". I hoped he would take "place" as "country" instead. "S-So I really had no idea what to do a-and I know you would have wanted me to, b-but I really couldn't turn to you for help because you'd have _no idea_ what to do in that situation because it's not something you could help with. I-It's literally something only girls go through, s-so only another g-girl could help with it and I am _so_ sorry; I didn't mean to yell at you, you really didn't deserve it, b-but I-I-I was really upset and scared and I don't like heights and you were acting strangely a-and I-I j-just didn't... I didn't..." I choked and swallowed the cry welling up in the back of my throat, blinking away tears desperately as my eyes began to burn even worse than they already were. "I-I'm just a-a-a r-really emotional p-person a-and I-I've b-been g-going through a lot these past few months a-and this-this is-!"

Too much. Really just way too much. I need _normalcy_ and him acting so different than what he did was... scary. It was different and it frightened me. But that didn't mean I had a right to yell at him. He was just trying to help. I took a shaky breath, having cut myself off, and squeezed my stinging eyes shut as I lowered my head. _Stay calm. Don't freak, Irene. You did more than enough crying already._ I just need to breathe and... stay calm.

But at least I had his attention now. Once I managed to quell most of the tears I took another breath and raised my head, looking at the startled male. He seriously deserved someone better than me; all I ever do is cry and freak out. Why can't I be more like Yona? "This is just something that you, nor any other guy, w-would have been able to help with. It's nothing to do with you as a person. B-Because if there _was_ something you could do about it, believe me, I-I would've asked you." Probably.

He stared at me for a long moment and I faltered a little, the emotions threatening to overflow again, and after a while Shin-Ah lowered his head. "What's... wrong?" I blinked. He raised his head. My eyes locked onto the sockets of his mask. "Why... were you bleeding? Why... couldn't I have helped? What do girls go through that... guys don't?"

Oh... that. Well, uh... "Girls-um," Damn it. I was really hoping I wouldn't have to explain this. "You know how babies are born, right?" He tilted his head, looking adorably confused. I slumped over and groaned, hanging my head, and Shin-Ah just looked more lost. "Okay... well, you know boys and girls have different bodily... designs, yes?" He looked at me for a long moment before lowering his head a little, and it took me a moment to realize he was staring at my chest. I decided not to be annoyed with him and say "eyes up here" simply because he probably thought that was what I meant by "different". "I mean, other than chests." The realization that had bloomed on his face twisted back into confusion. I sighed and tried not to feel too awkward, but when I opened my mouth to explain I could feel myself freezing as my face began to turn multiple shades of red. I looked in different directions, searching for a way to make this explanation easy without too much... grossness, or anything like that, but I saw nothing. "Um..." Oh, wait! I quickly reached over and picked up the stick not laying too far away from me, breaking it until it was about the size of a pencil. "Perfect. Okay, so," this is going to go against all my drawing principals, but it's for the good of Blue so let's do this. "This is what women look like, right?"

My drawing skills were a little rusty from not doing it for so long, but it still turned out pretty darn nice. Shin-Ah followed the movement of the stick, watching as I dragged it carefully through the dirt. Ao watched, following the stick with her eyes.

"And this is..." I hesitated when I got to the lower half of the man, but I took a deep breath and continued drawing. "This is what guys look like. They... they have the... the..." I'm not saying it. I refuse to say it. "Thing. Girl's don't have that thing. Girls' have a hole instead. And... And to make babies the guy will put that... thing in the girl's hole. I-In doing that the guy breaks some sort of string-I don't remember what it's called-and it's supposed to hurt temporarily. Um, some girls are born without that string I think, so they don't go through pain, but the ones that do usually bleed if it's their first time. S-So don't freak out if you ever get a girlfriend or a wife or something and they bleed the first time you do it, okay?" I looked up at him briefly, waving the stick sternly at him, before quickly looking away again. I could not meet his stare and explain this. I just can't. I shifted, uncomfortable, and blinked a few times. "A-And, uh, when a girl is pregnant with a baby their menstruation cycle is stopped until a while after they give birth. And a girl is pregnant for nine months, though there are certain cases where the baby is born a few months early. In my case, I was born two weeks early. Other cases, there's a miscarriage and the baby dies in the womb or the baby ends up a stillborn-dead upon birth. But the baby usually lives!" I added quickly, realizing that what I was saying might scare him out of ever having kids. "And the mom, too! B-But the, uh, menstruation cycle happens sometime after a girl hits her teen years and is there to let a girl know when she is able to start having children. I was... twelve? Thirteen-when I started my cycle. A-And that is where a-a girl sort of... bleeds out of the hole." I pointed at the drawing of the girl and Shin-Ah followed it. "That "blood" is actually the unfertilized eggs that had died from not doing the "do" with a dude _because_ they had not did the "do". Th-That "do" is called..." I took a deep breath, certain my face was all shades of red, and choked out, "S-Sex."

I can't believe I'm doing this. I can't believe I'm giving him sex ed class. God damn it.

"That in turn can cause the girl to have these things called "Stomach cramps". It-It feels a bit like someone is reaching inside your stomach and twisting everything up, but some girls don't get those. I usually don't, but this morning was an exception.." I can't feel any pain right now, so that's good. I just feel the uncomfortable flowing of the blood. "D-Does that explain everything?" I forced myself to look up at him. He remained staring at the drawings, but after a moment he turned his head and nodded at me. I sighed in relief and my body relaxed. "That's good... very good. Okay. Well, how about we... just... go back to camp now? Unless you're still mad? Are you still mad?" I felt a twinge of worry, but his shaking of his head washed it away. I started to get up, dropping the stick, but I was stopped by Shin-Ah suddenly latching a hand onto my dress. I paused and looked down at him curiously and in confusion. "Shin-Ah?"

"..." He said nothing, looking away, simply clinging onto my dress like a child who didn't want to be left alone. I frowned and knelt back down, but he didn't release me. Ao let out a small squeak as she mimicked my expression. She jumped off of my shoulder and onto his, nuzzling her face into his neck in an attempt to comfort him.

"Hey, what's wrong?" I asked softly, worried. He said everything was okay now, so... what was bothering him? I stared at him intently, searching his jaw for any tell tale signs, when I noticed something. My eyes widened and slowly, although scared what I might find, I reached a hand out towards his mask. Shin-Ah didn't move. I carefully pulled the mask off, holding my breath, and stared in horror at the purple bruise blooming on the side of his face. He closed his eyes and turned his head just the slightest bit away, giving me clear view of the injury. At the sight a fire began to burn inside of me, a silent anger that wanted to explode and rampage-threatening to consume my being- and I brought my hand up to the wounded cheek as I set the mask down on the ground beside me. "Who did this?" My voice was low and quiet, different compared to the usual loudness I spoke with. _Was it Hak?_ Yona said Shin-Ah and Hak had gotten into a fight when Shin-Ah tried to grab her and bring her here.

 _He's going to pay._

I don't care what anyone thinks-Shin-Ah would never hurt Yona and Hak should have known that. Shin-Ah was just being protective of me earlier and wanted to find out by himself what was wrong-he just didn't like everyone else butting in and trying to take me away. When Shin-Ah tried to grab Yona he must have done so only because I said only a girl could help me, so why hadn't Hak realized that? Was he stupid? Was he cruel? Did he just not like Shin-Ah? Or was it because of his hate towards me that made him act so cruelly so as to hurt him?

 _It's not an excuse. He hurt him._ Hak hurt Shin-Ah. _No one_ hurts Shin-Ah. Not the villagers, not the nightmares, and _not_ Hak. _He's mine._ Shin-Ah is mine. He can't hurt him. _I'll destroy him._

Shin-Ah's eyes looked sad as he watched me, an almost empty light in my eyes as all they were filled with was rage. All I _felt_ was rage-any and all fear I had of Hak was completely gone, like it had never existed in the first place. His face... _He left a mark on Shin-Ah's face._ His cheek was swollen, darkening from the bruise, and as I traced it gingerly with my fingers I could feel the anger growing and growing-until it just vanished completely and I leaned forward, pressing a light kiss on his jaw. The guilt and sadness in his eyes dissipated and were replaced with surprise, seeing the rapid change of emotion in my own eyes. "I'm sorry..." It was because of me he got into a fight with Hak. "I-If I didn't yell at you..." I pulled away, staring at him for a long moment as regret washed over me, before a thought hit me. "Maybe I can...?"

"...?" He looked confused. I focused, or at least tried, to see any of the glowing orbs from before-but the only lights I could see were coming from his chest where his heart was located. "Irene..." His voice was soft, "Your eye..." Of course he can see my left eye. My hair was still really wet from the bath and I had it slicked back at this point in time. Was it really that funny looking? I... I think I remember someone-no, a little kid calling me "cat lady" or something? Did my eye go weird? "It... It looks like mine... but..." He frowned and I began to grow aggravated when I didn't see any glowing orbs on his bruise. "Irene, your eye is orange... red?" Just how did I do it last time?

Healing disease... _it's different from injuries_ , my mind suddenly conjured. It felt weird, but familiar-like I had heard it before. So how do I...? I suddenly saw it. It was like I could see _through_ him-every damaged tissue and the torn blood vessels that caused the bruise to form. As if my hand was not my own, as if I were not the one in _control_ , I reached towards him and cupped the injured cheek with my hand. He didn't even flinch. I felt something pulling inside of me, some invisible force latching and "locking" our souls as Shin-Ah stilled. His breathing became heavy, a defiant look in his widened eyes, and as I focused more intently on the injury I imagined them reforming, healing and returning to normal. Slowly the discoloration in his face started to go away, the bruise fading as the ruptured blood vessels returned to normal. Once all visual of damage was gone both internally and externally the "lock" released and Shin-Ah gasped quietly, breathing much more calm now and no longer as labored. I felt dizzy. The left side of my face felt rather sore and it hurt to move, and as I blinked all the golden lights vanished.

I pulled my hand away from him and stared at my palm, still able to feel the warmth and power that had taken over. It was interesting. Different, strange, but interesting. I now knew for certain as well; I _can_ heal Kija. He won't have to live with a ruined leg or a scar on his pretty face-I can make it to where it looks like he had never been harmed in the first place. It was selfish, I knew, but now the guilt and regret can go away. Once I heal him... Once I heal him I'll finally be able to stop running away. From him, from Hak, from Yun, and from Yona. And even... from Shin-Ah. "I can heal..." I have to do it. I have to do it _now_. Before I forget how to use my powers. "I can heal!" I was ready to shoot up, already in the process of standing, but hands had latched onto the skirt of the dress I was wearing and yanked me back down to my knees, causing me to flinch as they made contact with the ground roughly. "H-Hey-" I clamped my mouth shut, alarmed at the furious golden gaze that was on at me.

His fingers threatened to dig into my thighs, his shoulders shaking, and as his lips curled back fear wrote itself all over his face. My voice left me completely and I found myself feeling _very_ very small all of a sudden. "Give it back." He leaned forward, eyes trained on the left side of my face. "Give it _back_." What?

It took all I had not to lean away. "G-Give wh-what back?" My voice squeaked. The reason of my jaw being sore... did I receive the injury in return? That would be understandable. "I-I don't know h-how-"

He looked frustrated. Angry. Worried. Scared. So many things. I don't get it; why isn't he happy? He doesn't have to feel any pain-the bruise is gone. So why- _Oh._ I frowned, blinking away the stinging in my eyes, when I noticed that upon closer inspection he had _that_ look. The one where he was blaming himself. Was he regretting letting me take off his mask? I reached over and placed my hands over his, curling my fingers around his, and stared him in the eyes.

"Blue... It was _my_ decision; you had no control over it. Besides, if you didn't show me your bruise I would have been severely ticked off later-both at you _and_ Hak." He looked surprised when I mentioned the dark-haired male's name, but soon lowered his eyes and turned his head away silently. He refused to look at me. A pain hit me in the chest when I saw this. The only consolation had to be the fact that he didn't pull his hands away. "He was the one who hit you, right? Yona said you two got in a fight." A fight that was my fault... "I'm so sorry." He opened his eyes and blinked, staring at me in confusion. "If I didn't yell at you..." I blinked away the stinging in my eyes, choking up a little. After some struggle I managed to hold back the tears. "If I didn't yell at you, you wouldn't have gotten hurt. And now you're mad. Jeezle-" I took a deep breath. I had no idea what to do. "But... what I'm not sorry for is healing you."

He looked sad at my words, but I would never take them back. "I... I don't want you to do that anymore, Irene. Not if... Not if it involves you getting hurt." He was frowning deeply, clearly upset. "I don't want you hurt."

"But if it means you're safe, then I don't care what happens to me." His eyes widened. Shin-Ah was startled. How could he not be? Everything I've always said or done was _for_ him. To make him feel better, to make him feel loved... but I can't this time. Not if it means I can't help him in the future. Even if it... means going against him. E-Even if it means he becomes upset... I can't do what he wants this time. "I don't... I don't want you hurt either, o-okay? So, yes, I-I am _very_ sorry-for multiple things. For hurting your feelings and making you upset, for-for scaring you and making you angry, but this..." I raised our hands, holding them close to my chest as I spoke. "This is the _one thing_ I can't agree to. If I can _heal_ you then by gods, Blue, I'm going to do it! A-And let's face it; the bruise on my face will be gone in a couple hours. If it remained on you it would've taken _days_ , maybe-maybe even weeks! I'd rather go through this minuscule amount of pain than leave you to deal with it. And-And you can try all you like, but you will _not_ stop me from healing Kija. I-I was cruel and mean and reckless and I wasn't thinking, and now he's on the verge of being a cripple because of me! If-If things are like how it was back in the caves and Kija needs to fight he'll end up getting _killed_ and so help me I am _not_ going to let that happen! To him, to Yona, t-to... to you..."

I lowered my head, choking up again, and pressed a kiss to his fingers. My voice trembled.

"You can hate me all you want... but I will _never_ leave you in pain. If you get sick, I will cure you. If you get hurt, I will take that wound and make it my own. You are more important than you will ever know. S-So don't... try to stop me. Okay?" He didn't respond. Shin-Ah remained silent, staring down at me, and I found myself threatening to break in fear of rejection. I don't believe he would, but the thought terrifies me. I can't lose him.

He pulled his hands out of mine, sending me into a brief panic, before he held mine in his own. I looked up at him only to still, my breath getting stuck in my throat when he suddenly leaned down and nuzzled his face into my neck. "Why...?" His voice was quiet and soft, but sounded a little like it was breaking. "Why do you care so much? For someone like me... you shouldn't do so much." I slumped, relaxing a little, and turned my head a little to try and look at him. All I got was a view of blue hair. I moved my hand out of his hold and instead reached up, running my fingers through his short hair solemnly.

"I love you, Blue. Is that such a bad thing?"

There was a moment of silence before he shook his head. "N-No..." His shoulders shook a bit as he sat up, lifting his head up to look at me before quickly leaning forward and pecking me on the corner of my mouth. He nuzzled his face against mine, oblivious to the shock I was in. H-He just... "I'm happy. It... makes me happy. I love you, too." Oh.

"...I'm glad." I told him quietly, smiling a little in relief.

The return to camp was interesting. Now donning his mask once more, Shin-Ah clung to my kimono like a small child while giving me instructions of which direction to go as we maneuvered through the forest, and when we finally got back to camp Yun and Kija had rushed over in a panic as they demanded what had happened and why there was suddenly a blue-ish black bruise on the left side of my face. That caused me to recall anger and I narrowed my eyes at Hak, who raised an eyebrow at the challenge. I stormed over, no longer scared of him, and glared. His face just remained overall blank, the male keeping his usual expression. Shin-Ah was already making his way over, most likely to pull me away, but before he could even get close I had reeled my leg back and kicked Hak as hard as I could in foreleg.

Unfortunately all that had happened was that I was left to hop up-and-down on one foot while cradling the other, wailing about how Hak had legs of steel, and clung onto my bloody clothing as I fell back. Luckily Shin-Ah was there to catch me, wearing his usual worried frown, and I gingerly set my wounded foot back on the ground as I grumbled unintelligibly. Shin-Ah helped me stand up, but as he did so Hak's eyes suddenly widened and he slammed a fist into the palm of his hand, mouth opening comically in realization as Ao sat traitorously on his shoulder.

"You're mad because I punched him!" I scowled and sent another glare his way, but before any words could come out of my mouth a certain White Dragon was already lecturing Hak. "Ah... you too, White Snake?"

"OF COURSE I'M MAD! Shin-Ah just wanted the princess' help!"

"You were freaking out as well, White Snake; don't go placing all the blame on me. You were thinking the same thing I was when he suddenly picked the dumb girl up and wandered off-"

"I was not!" Kija's face was such a brilliant red that if he wanted to he could hide in Yona's hair. "Get your mind out of that disgusting place! Shin-Ah is pure unlike you!"

"I'm offended. I've not once thought about doing a single thing to you or Yun-"

"B-Be quiet!" Kija lashed at him, but Hak avoided easily with an amused smirk. Kija was still sputtering, struggling to come up with a response as his face continued to bloom fifty shades of red. As he chased after a snickering Hak, Kija's eyes suddenly grew wide as he stumbled. His injured leg quickly gave out on him and he was sent falling forwards, flinching as he hit the ground. Yun and Yona were already next to him and helping him sit up, Kija wincing as he tentatively placed a hand on his injury. Pain flashed across his face for a brief moment. The next second it was gone and he was smiling again, telling them that he had just tripped over a rock and that it was a foolish mistake on his part.

I felt two gazes on me at that moment as I gazed into darkness. One belonged to the person I trusted most, while the other came from the one whom probably wished my death the most. One was filled with concern, the other curiosity and suspicion. I stepped forward.

"-should've known better than to play along with the Thunder Beast's stupid game. I can't believe I let him taunt me like that!" Kija huffed, annoyed, and Yun ranted at him for goofing off when he hadn't even healed completely. Yona sided with him, but told Kija to be far more careful next time, and then went at Hak for baiting Kija in the first place. Hak, of course, then placed the blame on me and that was what caused everyone to look at me as I slowly made my way over to the fallen man on the ground. Hair falling into my face, now mostly dry, I knelt down beside Yun and in front of Kija. The blue-eyed male looked surprised before a beaming smile formed on his face, seeming delighted that I was approaching him instead of running for once. Shin-Ah, who hadn't moved from the spot I left, just lowered his head as he knew what I was planning. His hands curled up into fists, trembling. "Irene! How are you feeling? I-Is-Is," His face went red again and he quickly turned away, looking a little uncomfortable. "Is... your problem... taken care of?"

"Yeah." My voice was quiet. "I'm sorry." Yun gave me a questioning glance at that, but his eyes soon widened as he put the pieces together. He looked at me inquisitively.

"What are you planning?" He asked. Kija just seemed lost. Yona looked like she came to the same realization as Yun. "You're not going to do something stupid, are you?"

"Irene, don't-" Yona began, reaching a hand out, but I was already gripping Kija's knees. The White Dragon blinked and tilted his head, only to have his eyes snap wide open. He reached his claw out to me, ready to push me away, but I had already locked him in place. He froze, unmoving, and his breathing became a little unsteady. I could feel him fighting the same way Shin-Ah had, refusing to let the healing process happen, and as such making it more difficult on them than it should be. It was even tiring for me, as it caused me to grow dizzy and lightheaded as I pulled the damaged muscle and tissue back together. I could feel something ripping in my own leg, and as that happened I used my free hand to pull the dress out of the way so not to stain it. Yona seemed to have frozen in place and Yun, who was attempting to stop me, was struggling in Hak's hold as he held the brunette in place, a strange look on his normally deadpanning face. Kija was still breathing heavily. Shin-Ah was looking away. "Irene..."

As a sickly warmth trailed down my leg, a sharp pain shooting up the limb, I reached over to Kija's face. The expression he wore was panicked, the male completely freaking out but being unable to do anything about it. I winced as I felt a cut start to form on the bruise I now had, but as it elongated and scabbed over it wasn't that painful. With a heavy gasp I released the struggling Kija, who inhaled sharply and wheezed as he pressed a hand to his chest. Hak released Yun almost instantly upon the moment Kija began to move again, eyes trained on the clearness of his face. His gaze then moved to me, frowning, and as he released Yun the brunette turned to yell at him for keeping him hostage before he reached over and whacked me upside the head. "HOW IDIOTIC ARE YOU!?"

I flinched at the loudness of his voice and rubbed at my ear, feeling it ringing. Ignoring Yun's lecturing I reached over and yanked up Kija's pants-leg, pulling the fabric out of his boots and unwrapping the cloth. Kija reached a hand out as if to stop me, but hesitated and simply watched as I continued what I was doing. Helping me for once, Hak pulled off Kija's boot to make the job easier. When his actual leg could be revealed all that was able to seen was the stitches. The wound was gone, the threads remained. Yun scowled and heaved a sigh, muttering about how he needed to grab his cutting knife. Kija ran his fingers over the spot where the wound once was, clearly in shock, and I pushed myself up silently all the while holding the dress out of the way so not to touch the blood leaking from my new cut.

I stood up too fast. I had just barely straightened my back when a wave of dizziness washed over me, the world spinning all around me. As I fell I felt a pair of arms catch me, but...

They didn't belong to Shin-Ah.

A pair of dark blue eyes stared down at me, narrowed but almost forgiving. The fear that had vanished reappeared, almost like an electric bolt, and I shot away from him like lightning. I stumbled, leg in such intense pain when I put weight on it that I nearly toppled over again, but I somehow managed to catch myself and once I was close enough I latched onto Shin-Ah's arm to steady myself. While he didn't agree with my decision to harm myself to heal Kija (or himself for that matter) he didn't push me away, and instead wrapped an arm around my waist and pressed me to him so I wouldn't fall. I leaned against him, breathing heavily, and rested my head against his shoulder as I closed my eyes, waiting for the dizzy spell to go away. _I'm okay._ I'm okay. It doesn't hurt. I'm fine.

How did Kija put up with this?

 _It hurts_. I ground my teeth together and pressed my face into the fur of Shin-Ah's kimono, squeezing my eyes tightly shut. I didn't complain as he picked me up, carrying me over to the tree we were sitting by the other night, and set me down carefully so not to disturb the injury any further. I raised a hand up to cover my face, not wanting to be seen, but I had to pull away as pain flared because of the bruise and cut. Bawling my hands up into fists I turned my head away, refusing to look at Shin-Ah who was hovering over me, and blinked multiple times as I clenched my jaw. _I'm okay. Put up with it. You've cried enough._ I took a deep breath, trying to calm myself.

"..." Shin-Ah said nothing, merely frowning as he leaned down and rested his head gently against mine. I felt awful, but at the same time I was grateful for the small amount of comfort that gave. Yun, who was now finished cutting off the stitches in Kija's leg, made his way over to me to check out the damage.

"Your stupidity knows no bounds, does it, Brown Dragon?" I scrunched my nose up at the title. I still didn't like being called that. "So this is your power... you must be the unlucky one, huh?" He was oddly gentle this time, something that was strange and sort of frightening, and I began to ponder if I'd prefer to have him screaming or yelling at me like he normally does. "It makes me wonder what the other two dragons can do..." I couldn't answer that. For being the "dragon" who's supposed to have answers, I was pretty incompetent. "So we have a dragon with the power in his claw, one with eyes that can see far away, and one who can take others pain and illness for her own..." He sighed, unraveling a white cloth as he spoke. I stared, watching silently and in confusion.

Shin-Ah moved to the side to give Yun more room, trusting him.

"You all are great big pains in the neck, you know that?" I snorted at that, finding that as an understatement.

Meanwhile, Kija was still in shock. Yona was trying to snap him out of it, but it wasn't working that well. She waved her hands in front of his face and shook him, but he just remained staring at the clear skin. "Kija? Kija! Hak, Kija is completely frozen; what do we do!?"

"Ah, guess we'll just have to leave him behind then."

"Hak!"

But his words seemed to have done it, for after he suggested that Kija blinked and gave the man a glare, irritated. "Why you-! How dare you suggest a thing! I'm here to protect the princess and I'm going to remain doing so!"

I was going to stop Yun from wrapping my leg up, but when I tried to speak or protest he just ended up yelling at me. "Just shut up and accept it; I don't care how long it takes to heal! You need treatment until then!" Yun looked on the verge of tears as he continued, growling, "Stop being stupid! Honestly, you're as bad as that dumb priest! Stupid... you stupid dummy..." He mumbled to himself, muttering things I did and did not understand, but upon seeing his face I decided to let him do what he wanted. He looked... sad. Melancholic. _Homesick._ Tightening the bandage around my leg, the wound small enough to where it didn't need stitches, he stopped talking and breathed in deeply. Hak and Kija were arguing in the background, Yona being mediator, and they only stopped after Yun stood up and lectured them in a very stern motherly fashion.

 _What did he mean by priest?_ Was Yun religious? The thought bugged me for some reason, but I forced it out of my mind. My mind started taking weird turns-thoughts of "oracles" coming into my head. I turned my gaze to look at Shin-Ah who appeared troubled. "Hey..." I spoke softly, catching his attention. He looked at me. "Are you okay?" I'll heal up in the next day; there's no reason why he should be so upset. It's not like I got my arm hacked off or something. "Shin-Ah..."

"..." He remained quiet. I bit my lip, frowning nervously, and reached a hand out to him. I felt relief when he took it, lacing his fingers with mine, and relaxed. He's not mad at me.

"I'll be fine. Give it a few hours." I can't even feel the scab on my face anymore. The bruise was probably a yellow-green color now. He simply nodded at my words.

"Irene!" Yun's voice startled me, snapping me out of the conversation and forcing my attention elsewhere. I looked at him in alarm, eyes wide. He frowned and knit his eyebrows together as he looked down at me from his spot next to Yona and the men. "Will you be able to walk? We're heading out now." Without thinking about it I nodded.

"Yeah." If Kija could do it, then why can't I? Filled with determination I pulled my hand away from Shin-Ah and stood up, only to nearly topple over the exact second I put weight on my bad leg. "!" Shin-Ah quickly caught me, stopping me from hitting the ground. I made a face, more than a little annoyed. Shin-Ah gave me his arm to help me balance, allowing me to cling to him, and I shifted all my weight onto my good foot. I gave a sheepish smile, trying to lighten the dark aura. "Now I can?" I could feel sweat beading down the sides of my face. If Kija could do this without so much as breaking into a sweat... our pain tolerance levels must be _very_ different. My gut twisted at the thought, realizing that Kija had to put up with this pain for _days_.

"...?" Hearing a confused sound from beside me I blinked and realized I was crying again. Crap.

"I'm fine." I used my free hand to wipe at my face and beamed another smile, asking, "So-where we headed to now?" Kija looked guilty and Yona looked sad. Hak appeared indifferent and Yun just frowned.

In the end we decided to head west. Yun gave directions and listed off possible sightings, and Shin-Ah piped occasionally to warn us if there were patrolling officers or bandits. There ended up being no difficulties along the way due to their combined forces, and we passed through the next few towns easily. Kija ended up approaching me once we were far back enough and, surprisingly, offered to help me walk so he could talk to me. "Is that alright with you, Blue-uh, Shin-Ah?" The way he said made it clear that he almost called him "Blue" and not "Blue Dragon". I wasn't sure why I was able to detect that. Was I just used to hearing Korean now? If I paid enough attention I could actually _hear_ the words they were speaking other than what my brain was automatically translating them as. It was quite interesting, actually. "I promise I won't hurt her." He sounded completely sincere, too.

Shin-Ah hesitated, looking down at me for confirmation. I _did_ used to avoid Kija at all costs, but now... "It's okay." Shin-Ah reluctantly stopped walking in order to let me grab onto Kija's outstretched arm and backed a way a little- remaining close enough that he could keep an eye on us. I limped alongside Kija, who walked slowly. I felt a bit uncomfortable, but I wasn't scared. I looked up at him curiously, wondering what was going through his mind. I had a faint idea though. "What's up?"

"...You didn't have to do that, you know." He said quietly. "I can handle the pain; you cannot. I know I was the one who pushed my ideals and feelings about the five dragons onto you, but if I knew that your powers came at such a cost I would not have done so. That bruise belonged to Shin-Ah, yes? Hak had hit him after he picked up the princess and nearly sent him flying. I... want you to continue following your role as the Princess' adviser, but... if possible... please refrain from harming yourself even further."

Was... this really Kija? The man who had yelled at me when we first met because I said I wasn't the Brown Dragon? How is this the same person? I almost stopped walking, but I caught myself in time. "You think I like the idea of you being a cripple?" Why is he even doing this? Why didn't he just force me to walk by myself? "I _stabbed_ you, Kija. If I didn't do it, you would have never been able to walk properly again! Your leg could have been permanently damaged; this way you can move normally again and I only have the wound for a _day_. Would you rather me let you limp and fall down in the middle of a fight!? If-If Hak was bad guy he could have killed you!"

"He would not! I would have beaten him."

"Not with that wound! And besides, your pretty face isn't scarred anymore. Be happy." I huffed. I honestly hadn't thought much about the reasoning when I went to heal him; I just saw him fall and I freaked. But after I healed him I had plenty of time to think afterwards. I had to find ways to console Shin-Ah after all, for I knew if I didn't he would remain sulking. Deciding that I disliked the tone of conversation I chose to revert back to my old sarcastic self and said, "Why, thank you so much, Irene! I'm so glad you healed me; I very much enjoy walking normally"!" I deepened my voice, though it could only go so far because of how high pitch it was, and waved my free hand around as I spoke. "Oh, no problem, Kija! Anything for a friend! Just another day's work, you know? "Oh, Irene, you're such a sweetie"! Aw, Kija, stop~ You're making me blush!"

"I sound nothing like that!" He actually looked offended. Hak, who had heard the conversation from up ahead, laughed loudly. Yona was giggling and Yun looked to be on the verge of faceplaming, the corner of his lips tugging upwards just the slightest.

"I don't know, White Snake; she sounded pretty spot on if you ask me."

Though still a little scared of him, I found myself grinning widely from ear-to-eat, raising my eyebrows and smirking as I declared, "See? Even the Thunder Beast agrees with me." Ooh. Using titles is fun. I suddenly remembered Tomoe and Mizuki from _Kamisama Hajimemashita. "_ Shirohebi" was White Snake in Japanese, which means... My grin grew even wider. "Just admit it, Kija-I did your voice _perfectly_. Right, Yona!?"

"Hmm... I dunno," She teased. "It's so hard to tell." Oh~ Look at her go. Yona turned her head with a smile to look at her friend. "What do you think, Yun?"

"I'm not in this!" He declared, holding the map up above his head for the world to see. He remained walking, eyes trained on the paper in front of him. "I'm trying to keep us from getting lost and starving to death! I think there's a port town nearby-right, Shin-Ah?" He craned his neck to look behind him at the male trailing far behind.

"...Yes." Was his short answer. Seeing how far away he was made me feel a bit... odd. It was a numbing feeling, almost cold, and left this emptiness in my chest. After a moment I realized I was lonely without him right next to me. That's weird... _When was the last time I felt like that?_ Deciding that mine and Kija's conversation was over I outstretched a hand back towards him and wiggled my fingers, making a face as I tried to gesture for him to walk faster and grab my hand. "...?" He looked confused and, not knowing what I meant, stared at the palm of his hand before wiggling his fingers back at me with a strange face. _Oh my god, he's so precious._ A small laugh tried to escape.

"Shin-Ah~! Join us! Grab Kija's other arm!" I'd offer my own, but I needed that side in order to limp.

Kija looked just as confused before his eyes lit up. He smiled widely, clearly enjoying that idea. "That sounds like fun! We can all walk together! Come! Join us!" He held his arm out for Shin-Ah to take. Lost, like a small child who was approaching a stranger for the first time, Shin-Ah carefully wandered forward and grabbed onto Kija's arm, linking them together as he held onto the white sleeve. His mouth was slightly ajar as he did so, only serving to make him look more cute than he already was, and peered over to look at me and then back at the arm he was holding. The scene was actually rather funny because of our major height differences. I was rather happy with our heights at the moment and our positions, as it went from tallest to shortest. Kija was maybe four inches taller than me, with Shin-Ah about two or three inches taller than him. I waved mine and Kija's arms for a bit, trying to skip a little despite my injury.

"We're off to see the wizard~ The wonderful wizard of Oz! Because, because, because, because-of all the wonderful things he does!"

"...?"

"What song is that?"

Yona giggled at the scene, walking backwards to face us, and ignored Hak as he made a comment about how she was going to fall by walking like that. "I'm glad to see you three are getting along." Kija looked like he was in the best mood ever, and at Yona's words I beamed while Shin-Ah just looked at her in surprise. "I was getting worried."

Another song popped in my head and I couldn't help myself. "You know, Yona, there's a saying for things like that. And that's saying is called "Hakuna Matata". And you know what that means?"

"What?" She asked curiously. Hak turned his head and raised an eyebrow when he saw my huge grin. Yun looked scared.

Taking a deep breath, and mentally apologizing to everyone for my horrible singing, I burst out into song. "It means no worries for the rest of your days~! Hakuna Matata! It's our problem free~ Philosophy~!" Yun took that time to cover his ears, grumbling about awful singers. "Come on, sing along." I nudged Kija lightly with my elbow, "Hakuna Matata!"

"H-Hakuna... Matata..." He looked a bit embarrassed. I craned my neck to look at Shin-Ah, seriously wondering what his singing voice would sound like. Probably really bad, especially since I don't think he's ever sung in his life, but I feel like I would still find it adorable no matter what. He caught me staring and frowned, before tilting his head curiously. His back straightened, the sadness from before seeming to fade.

"Problem free... philosophy." He murmured, realizing what I was trying to get him to do. "Hakuna... Matata..."

"Hakuna Matata!" I encouraged brightly. I was in a super good mood right now. "Alright, on three! You, me, and Kija! One, two... three! Hakuna Matata~!"

"..."

"Why are you guys arguing with me right now? Seriously!? _Hakuna Matata_ is one of the best songs ever!"

Yun grumbled from his spot next to Yona, "It sounds stupid. Are all the songs from your country like that?" I pretended to think about it, humming, and pretended to ignore the insult towards _Lion King_. What should I even tell him? The only reason I was in a good mood was because I was able to heal Kija, so his friendliness shouldn't bug me too much anymore, and Shin-Ah appeared to be in a better mood as well. My mood swings were probably caused partially by the fact that I was on my period, but other than that I felt fine. "Wait, stop. I think we're close to it now." Yun quit walking, which in turn made everyone else stop as well so he could peer at the map. "Shin-Ah, do you see any towns nearby?"

The blue-haired male raised his head up, looking around, before removing his arm from Kija's and heading over to a nearby tree. The hair on the back of my neck stood up when I remembered the last time and how he jumped out of a tree, but I soon consoled myself with the thought that he would be just fine. He didn't get hurt the last time. Why would he get hurt this time? I looked up and watched, just barely able to see him through the leaves in the trees. After a few moments he jumped back down, landing gracefully, and I felt the anxiety dissipate. _Thank goodness..._ Maybe it was because I was scared of heights that I always freaked out whenever he jumped out of trees like that? That or I'm a worse worrywart than him.

Shin-Ah straightened his mask, making sure it completely covered his face, and then nodded to Yun. He raised a finger and pointed in the direction he saw it. Yun followed his finger and then looked at his map again, a pleased smile spreading across his face.

"Alright! If we keep going at this speed we might make it there before nightfall! Port Awa is that way!" Yun quickly took lead and Shin-Ah linked arms with Kija once more, seeming to enjoy our little triplet-chain link. Yun's eyes were practically sparkling as he spoke, "I've never been to a port town before! Gah! Wait until I tell Ik-Soo; he'll never believe this-ah, actually, he probably already knows." He sighed, upset, before cheering up again. "I'm going write this all down in my travel journal!"

Yona patted him on the back, enjoying his enthusiasm. "I'm sure he'd love to read about it, Yun."

"Mm!" Yun nodded, his cheeks tinted a light pink in embarrassment, but he remained smiling. "Yeah. Which is why we need to hurry up and find the other two dragons! Move those legs faster, everyone! We got dragons to catch!"

Everyone except Shin-Ah stopped to salute. The masked man tilted his head in curiosity and confusion when he saw us all move in unison, hands to our foreheads as we declared, "Yes, Mother!" and "Sir, yes, sir!"

Obviously I was the only one that said "Sir", but... you get the image. Yun just scowled at us, complaining about how he wasn't our mother and that he would remember giving birth if he were. Of course, when he said that, I couldn't help but ask, "Who's the father?" He stopped, gave me a look, before smirking and raising a finger.

"Isn't it obvious? The Blue Dragon, naturally."

You could practically _see_ the question marks and exclamation points going off above Shin-Ah's head. I was more than a little alarmed and, for some reason, annoyed. So, in an attempt to push that annoyance away I released Kija and hopped over to Shin-Ah, grabbing his arm, and pointed at Yun while loudly declaring, "Threesome!"

Kija and Yun choked on their saliva while Hak just burst out into boisterous laughter. Yona had a hand in front of her mouth, face matching her hair with her eyes wide as can be. "Oh my," She squeaked. "A-Are... Are you okay with that, Shi-Shin-Ah?"

"Three...some?" He looked so confused, the poor thing. Still holding onto his arm for balance I reached up with my other and attempted to pat him on the top of the head. Because of my injured leg I wasn't able to stand on my tiptoes like I normally would, so I was only able to get the edges of his mask.

"Don't worry about it, Blue. It's something you should never do."

"THEN WHY DID YOU SUGGEST IT!?" Yun exploded, his face greatly resembling a cherry. I snorted. "What kind of planet did you come from!? Is that something normal where you're from!?"

I opened my mouth to answer, but paused as I seriously did not know the answer to that. I pressed my finger to my lips, knitting my eyebrows together thoughtfully. "Uh... no idea, actually. I know some people do it. I don't really approve of it unless it's for polygamy, because hey-some people are into that kind of thing, so who am I to judge? I'm more of a "marry-one-person-you-stay-with-that-person". It'd feel like cheating to me, I guess. I dunno. I never thought about it." I shrugged, hugging Blue's arm. "Then again I've never been in a relationship so everything I say is probably invalid. I just help people with theirs." Because that's what good friends do. I think. "Or... I did, at least." I felt a pang in my chest. I missed everyone. I still don't know if mother is... no. No, I'm not thinking about. I took a deep breath. "Let's just keep going, okay? Besides, you were the one who claimed you were married to Shin-Ah. You didn't even ask for my blessing first! I knew him before you; I already called guardianship."

"Pfft!" Yun sputtered while Hak snickered. His loud laughter had calmed down for the most part, but he was still snickering at the whole thing. Wow, he really found this funny, didn't he? Jeez.

Shin-Ah tilted his head again. If you looked close enough you could probably see the droopy dog ears on the side of his head. "Marry... what's... marriage?"

Yun raised his hands in the air, exclaiming, "Nope! I'm done! Irene, this is your territory! You're explaining this to him!" His face was still red. "I'm done!"

"Wh-What!? hey, come on! I already had to explain to him about periods! I'm not doing this, too!" Now it was Kija and Yona's faces turn to go red, Hak just turning his head away uncomfortably. _Oh my god. They're children._ "You're all children." I was in total disbelief. "I had to tell him how babies were born and you're all _blushing_ about periods. At least Hak, which is weird because I was freaking terrified of him earlier, has the decency to not freak the flip out! Kija-how old are you!? Aren't you, like, nineteen?"

"T-Twenty..."

I threw my hands up, releasing Blue, and limped away to gesture to the lost bluenette wildly. "He's _eighteen!_ Eighteen! And he's the sheltered, innocent one! What the flip is going on with this!? You're-You're _four years older than me_ for Pete's sake! No-No, sorry. My bad. Hak, thank you for not be a fifteen-year-old boy. Seriously, thank you. And you! Shin-Ah, you beautiful, beautiful man- _thank you_ for not being totally grossed out or embarrassed despite knowing nothing about periods until I explained it to you earlier! Seriously, you're an angel. And Yona-I know you're a princess and all, so please don't cut my head off for lecturing you, but you are the same age as me! There is _nothing_ to be embarrassed about; unless, of course, you don't have a pad or anything and you're bleeding through-then it's understanding, but you should not be ashamed for being female! Which is completely hypocritical since I was myself this morning, but still! EMBRACE YOURSELF! SCREAM TO THE WORLD THAT YOU'RE A PROUD GINGER PRINCESS WHO GIVES NO FLYING FLIPS IF SHE'S HAVING MOODSWINGS! You should just punch those people in the face!" Somehow in the middle of my rant I went from gesturing and pointing at people to wobbling over to Yona and grabbing her by the shoulders, staring her right in the face.

...I've seriously become messed up, haven't I?

Oh well. Moodswings galore. "You are beautiful! Beautiful and red and ginger! And no one can take that away from you! Okay, darling?" The familiar nickname slipped from my tongue, but I paid it no mind. I shook her slightly, just for comical relief, and declared, "YOU ARE A WARRIOR PRINCESS! You got this! Just do what I would do-believe in you~!" I took a deep breath, finally letting myself breathe, and turned my head as I slumped and exhaled. "Phew... Okay, now I'm done." Yona looked a little dizzy as I released her.

"...I'd be amazed if she didn't punch _you_ in the face," Yun muttered under his breath, done with all my antics. I shrugged.

"Anyway, marriage is a..." Hmm. How to explain that one? I frowned, biting the inside of my cheek as I looked up at Shin-Ah. "I could have sworn I already told you what that was. So either I didn't or you just forgot it. Anyway, it's this thing couples do that binds the together forever. You say a few vows, speaking about how their sickness is your sickness and that you'll stay with them through life and through death, and then you kiss and bam! You're bound forever."

"...Are..." He hesitated, seeming uncertain of his question. He remained silent for a bit before asking, "Are... _we_ married?"

Depends. Do you wanna be? "No." Wait, I said couples get married! Why did... oh, whatever. My brain hurts trying to figure this all out. "But after the marriage the two people do the "Do" to seal the contract between them. Then you guys start poppin' out babies-most of the time." Some couples don't do that. I clapped my hands together, "Alright! Well, that's another thing done! If we stay here it's going to be midnight by the time we get there-so let's go, go, go!"

"What the stupid girl said," Yun told Hak and Yona. "Let's go."

 **I really can't write Hak's character. I can't. T_T He's either too emotional or too emotionLESS. AGH~! And he's one of my favorites, too... I'll get him down one of these days. RAHHGGG! AND ONE MORE CHAPTER! OH MY GOD, ONE MORE CHAPTER AND THEN JAE-HA! YES! FINALLY! WOOO~ ALL THE PLATONIC FLIRTING CONTESTS! XD And I drew two pictures for this chapter which I shall be scanning once I get home from school today and placing on my deviantart. XD My username is _AvionVadion2_ , for those of you who don't know. I drew and colored a lot of stuff for this fic. Well, that's a lie. I drew and colored a lot of stuff for most of my fanfics. Haha. **


	16. A New Friend(s)

**Because I'm nice. :p Two chapters in the same month.**

 **People wanted the gross conversation last chapter, so I put it in there. XD Haha. BUT PROMISES! WE DO GET TO SEE A CERTAIN GREEN DRAGON THIS CHAPPIE~! This one mainly focuses on Jae-Ha and Hak, so... not much Shin-Ah. Sorry. :( But hopefully this isn't too fast paced. Figured I could muster up another chapter this weekend while I had time.**

 **Hope you guys like it! :) Read and review.**

I felt a bit strange as we walked, like I could feel someone watching us, and I always felt this constant _pull_ towards something. I wasn't sure what it was; I wasn't sure if I wanted to know. But there was just this _presence_ that wouldn't let me go no matter where I went. I felt strange and cold, like I was lacking a certain warmth that was supposed to be there. I wondered if it was because I was still depressed, missing what was gone, and if I was just longing for my siblings. Strangely enough, despite spending most of the time I had with my sisters, I found myself thinking about my brother. After he moved out I only ever saw him occasionally, and because I didn't know his work hours I never spent the weekends or school breaks with him-instead spending that time with my sisters. I regretted it, wishing I hadn't decided to not be a bother to him. But it was too late now...

I felt an urge to hug the arm I was holding, but I resisted as he was not Shin-Ah-or even Yona. I didn't want things to be anymore awkward or uncomfortable than they already were to begin with. Holding back a sigh, I started to hum _Friend Like Me_ from _Aladdin_ and continued. I can't let myself thinking about home. I-If I do... I swallowed, choking up. Breathe. Stay calm. You got this. Why was I suddenly even thinking of my big brother anyway?

Wait. Yona said something about the Brown Dragon being hatched from the same egg as another. Could...? No. _No._ Why? That wouldn't make sense. Dragons can't have twins.

...Can they? I dunno. Hmm... I feel like simply because I refused to call him "big brother" I'm going to ironically _be_ Kija's dragon sibling. Ugh. Wait. Oh god.

Please tell me I'm not related to Blue. Please. _Please_ tell me that's not the case.

 _Let it be the next Dragon, let it be the next Dragon, PLEASE._ I'm begging whatever higher beings are up there- _don't let me be related to the Blue Dragon._

To Yun's annoyance and Yona's amusement I began to sing the _Game of Thrones_ theme. I only had to shut up occasionally when we almost ran into some guards, but there wasn't that many. According to Shin-Ah we had long since left Fire Tribe territory, now wandering the Earth Tribe's. I don't think I've ever walked this much in my life, and I was in _marching band_. My feet hurt, partially from wearing shoes so much when I had grown so used to moving without them, and the only thing I can be thankful for is that because of my ability my blisters and calluses heal before I even notice they exist. We stopped a couple times to rest, and when we had finally reached the edge of the town, on a cliff just above it, the triplet-chain link had broken and I was left holding Shin-Ah's hand. My stomach was hurting again from cramps, but it wasn't too entirely painful as of right now so I was able to ignore it. "Is that it?" I asked, peering over the edge a little anxiously. The view was beautiful, the way the sunset hit the clear blue ocean... It was amazing.

The view was completely different than what it would have been in my time-the air and bodies of water filled with nothing _but_ pollution. It was disgusting, but this... this is _art_. Crafted by a magnificent painter-a goddess. Ah jeez, I can feel the artist in me wanting to come out... _I really want to paint this._ It's so heartwarming and... _wow._ Just... wow. I can't take my eyes off of it. At least, I couldn't until I fell Shin-Ah squeeze my hand a little. I turned to look at him, lifting my head up and staring at him in surprise when I was saw the look on his face. His mouth was open in awe, his shoulders lighter as if the weight of the world had been taken off. He looked so relaxed...

Before I realized it I was smiling and had leaned over, pressing myself to his side and hugging his arm. "Pretty, huh?" Unable to speak, he just nodded. "I don't think I ever saw an ocean like this before..." He looked down at me for a moment, surprised, before back at the sunset. We had a couple hours before nightfall. I think it was around seven pm right now?

"The sea's so beautiful!" Yona gasped, her jewel eyes sparkling. The sunset reflected off of her, turning her crimson hair into dancing flames that flickered in the wind. _Ah, so it's not an ocean? Eh, I can never tell the difference._ They're all so big anyway. "That _is_ the sea, right, Hak?" She looked up at him expectantly, excitement radiating off of her like the warmth of her heart. "I've never seen it before!" Yun had an expression similar to Yona, and Kija was practically mimicking Shin-Ah's expression. He didn't look quite as blissful as him though. "Wow..."

"Port Awa of the Earth tribe," Hak muttered, staring at the town. "Never thought I'd come here again. It's amazing how far we've come."

Yun snapped out of his awe and looked at Hak in curiosity. "You've been here before, Thunder Beast?"

"Once," He responded easily. "Gramps brought me here a long time ago." Gramps... His Grandpa? _I miss Pappaw..._ I think I missed my grandparents more than my actual parents, awful as it sounds. Whenever I think about them I just freak out wondering about Dad's health and if mother survived the crash or not. Pappaw and Grandma... I took a deep breath, trying to calm myself again, and focused on the sound of Blue's heart beat. That always helped me relax.

Yona looked at Kija, Shin-Ah still busy staring at the sea and the setting sun, and asked, "Kija, does it feel like the Green Dragon is here?" Kija made a face, concentrating intensely. A couple beads of sweat formed, the male looking just a bit dizzy.

"I sense him, but... his presence keeps shifting around and moving everywhere, and it's making me want to-" He brought his claw up to his mouth looking ready to vomit as he paled. He swayed a little before righting his posture. Yona looked alarmed when he almost fell. Yun looked intrigued, placing a finger against his cheek as he thought aloud.

"Maybe the dragons' powers aren't omnipotent? Perhaps they'll collapse if they go over their limit..." A wicked grin suddenly grew on his face and I woke up, a shiver going down my spine as Kija gathered around me and a frightened Shin-Ah. Ao clung tightly to Shin-Ah's mask, scared herself as Yun muttered something about "experiments" and "test subjects". "But..." Yun sighed, backing away for now, "While I want to search for the Green Dragon we _do_ need to rest properly from our journey; I need to restock on supplies as well. We're almost out of spices for our meals, and we had long since ran out of rice. I need to do some shopping."

"Then let's got to the port!" Yona blurted out excitedly, raising her fists up to her chests as she practically bounced up and down. Ao squeaked in agreement for Shin-Ah and climbed down his shoulder, wiggling and reaching for once of his necklaces before she slipped and fell into the folds of his kimono. There was a moment where all you could see was a bulge moving about in the top half of the leather, when suddenly she poked her head out and released an adorable,

"P'kyuu!" Deciding that she was quite comfortable there, she stayed, and I remained put beside Shin-Ah as he nodded in agreement with Yona, who had Kija grinning joyously at the idea. I wasn't... all that ready to enter a town full of people, as any village we passed I normally remained out of and Shin-Ah and I went around, while everyone else went through. This time, though, I don't think I'll be able to avoid it. The only time I had ever actually willingly entered a village was when I had healed all those sick people in the abandoned town. And if we were going to be entering the town to _search_ for someone...

Releasing Shin-Ah's hand I crossed my arms, hugging myself a little as fear pricked at me from behind. _"Dragon whore..."_ Go away. Leave me alone.

But even though I said that he stood in front of my eyes, sneering at me as raised his hand, preparing to deliver another hit. I flinched.

"You guys can't go!" I was never more thankful than at that moment for Yun having a voice just as loud as mine. "You're too suspicious!" Eyes snapping wide open I blinked and turned my head, watching in surprise and relief as Yona tilted her head in confusion at Yun.

"How so?"

"Hm, let me think; white hair, dragon claw-red haired _runaway princess_ , and I'm not even going to get started with you!" He pointed at Shin-Ah, who quickly went into a depression and sulked by a tree with his knees to his chest when he declared, "You _especially_ can't go! Everything about you is overly suspicious!" Kija and I were quick to comfort him, Kija patting him on the back while I spoke softly to him about how Yun was just jealous of him and didn't want him to get compared to him because of his immense beauty. "I'm just as beautiful a boy as he is!" Yun shrieked, having overheard my comment, and I quickly countered back saying that "You're far more beautiful" to Shin-Ah. "Why you~ You're just biased! You shouldn't be so blinded by love!"

"Shut up! You hurt his feelings!"

"Ladies, calm down," Hak spoke, raising an eyebrow at our behavior. He slung his Hsu Quandao over his shoulder, "If you really need to go shopping that bad, I can go." Yun stopped yelling and lecturing to look at him in surprise.

"You will? And who are you calling a lady!?"

Hak wisely chose to ignore the second question and said, "Yeah. I want to look around at weapons anyway; I kinda remember my way around town. Mostly." Yun scrunched his nose up reluctantly, before nodding.

"Fine. Just take the Brown Dragon with you," He jabbed his thumb in my direction, causing me to look at him in horror and alarm. Shin-Ah stiffened from his spot on the ground. "She's the only one normal-looking enough to go into town. I'm so beautiful I'll attract all the attention, and everyone else is pretty obvious. So it has to be you two. She can help you carry things. Speaking of-Irene, come here." I was frozen.

He... Yun wants me to go into town. With Hak. Into a place full of men and villagers. Possibly angry men and villagers.

 _"Witch! She's a witch!"_

I-I can't...

When I didn't get up Yun made his way over and forced me onto my feet, ignoring Shin-Ah's protest as the male latched onto my dress, and he placed a small bag of something in my hand. "Here's some money-just in case Hak runs out or if you find something that may be useful."

"I want to go to town, too!" Yona whined. She rushed over to Hak, looking up at him determinedly. "Let me come with you guys, Hak!" The dark-haired man stared down at her for a long moment, his eyes observing her carefully, before he suddenly leaned down and said,

"You've become rather hideous lately, Princess. Have you checked your reflection recently?" Yona gawked, eyes wide and appalled. Kija absolutely raged, pulling Yona way from him and defending her.

"How dare you say such a thing! She absolutely is not! Y-You are..." His face became pink as he released her, the White Dragon stepping back as he twiddled his fingers. "Y-You are... v-very b-b-beautiful, P-Princess..." Hak completely ignored him, instead reaching over and placing a hand on Yona's head as he slowly moved his fingers down to cup her cheek.

"You have bags underneath your eyes... and your hands..." He grabbed one, lifting it up and staring at it. "They're calloused and bruised. They're scratched all over." He released her, whacking her lightly upside the head in an almost teasing manner. "You've worked too hard," He said, no emotion portrayed on his face except in his eyes. "Stay here with the Blue and White Dragons and relax. You deserve it. Yun will take care of you." Yona pouted, but didn't argue with Hak.

"I don't know what you mean," She mumbled, embarrassed. She looked upset. If I wasn't too busy being scared for my life, paranoid because of my past experiences with villagers, and staring at the bag of coins Yun gave me, I probably would have wondered what was wrong. I felt a pair of strong arms wrap around my shoulders, pulling back into a broad chest, and a pair of lips pressing against the top of my head in a silent plead of "don't go". I felt like crying again. I wondered if I would ever stop crying. It's just as natural to me as breathing now; it happens and I can't control it. The tears just instantly well up before I know it; it's rather annoying, actually.

Tightening my grip on the bag I reached a hand up and placed it on one of Shin-Ah's arms, before turning my head and pressing part of my face into his bicep. _I'm scared._ I don't want to go. _Come with me._ Don't let me go to the town. Force me to stay here-grab me and hold me in place, so that Yun gives up and relents. I-I can't... not without him... Without Blue. Can I be without Blue? I don't think I can. And to go with _Hak_ out of all people in this group? H-He hasn't glared at me since I healed Kija, and I'm pretty sure my bruise is all gone. My leg was mostly healed, but it was still pretty bad, and.. I don't know if I can truly trust Hak. What if he attacks me? He punched me before, a-and then he hit Shin-Ah, and after I k-kicked him he'd have more reason than ever to-to... I swallowed, already thinking of the different ways he could kill me. Without Shin-Ah to protect me I was an open and easy target. Moving, I turned around and wrapped my arms around Shin-Ah's waist as tightly as I could, burying my face in his chest. I really didn't want to go into town.

I listened to his heart beat, basking in the warmth he gave, and relaxed a little as he wrapped his arms around me. In the background I could just barely hear Yun giving Hak a lecture on how he should be careful since he could be recognized. I paid little attention to it, closing my eyes and just breathing in Shin-Ah's scent. It gave me a bit of confidence and I felt a sense of bliss and security, feeling more than just safe in his arms. I wanted to stay like this forever.

Unfortunately, Yun wouldn't have that and scolded me, telling me to stop "flirting". I didn't let go. Yun's voice then softened, saying, "This is a good thing. You and Shin-Ah are way too dependent on each other; you need to become more independent." I don't want to. I want to stay like this. I felt Shin-Ah's arms tighten around me, almost as if he had the same thought. "...The villagers won't hurt you, Irene," He finally settled on, having figured out the issue. I stiffened and Blue went completely still. There was silence all around-nobody spoke. The atmosphere was thick and heavy and it just served to unnerve me more.

 _"This is exactly what beasts like you deserve!"_

Don't. Don't make me remember. I don't want to remember. I ground my teeth together, squeezing my eyes tightly shut.

 _"Monsters!"_

The hand was unfamiliar on my shoulder and I attempted to hide farther into Blue. "Not every village is like that one. You know that, don't you?" I hesitated, and after a long moment I nodded, a muffled "Yeah" coming out. "Besides, the Thunder Beast is there with you. He has a good sense of danger. If something happens he'll know. He won't let anything happen to you. Right, Thunder Beast?"

"...Yeah." He heaved a sigh and shoved the butt of his Hsu Quandao onto the ground. He leaned against it lazily. "I don't feel like dealing with an angry overprotective dragon warrior. Just scream and I'll come for you, alright? I can even have the princess order me to protect you if you're still scared." I knit my eyebrows together, seriously considering it. I felt like without Yona's blessing he _would_ kill me. If she tells him to do something he'll do it, and if she tells him not to he won't. "Jeez... did I leave that bad an impression on you? ...Princess, order me to protect her."

"What?" Yona was startled.

"Do it," He demanded. "For reassurance." Yona hesitated, before nodding.

"Alright... Hak. I order you to protect Irene."

My hold on Shin-Ah slackened and the male looked surprised. "I... rene?" Yona gave the order. Hak won't hurt me now. I pulled away slightly from Blue, though not completely, and stared up at him for a moment. I looked into the dark sockets of his mask, imagining his golden eyes boring into mine, and a silent conversation passed between us. His hands gripped my arms, scared to let go, and after a moment I stood on my toes and reached up, planting a firm kiss on his jaw before going back to my original height. "..."

"I'll... I'll be okay." I wasn't too confident, but I trusted Yona. Her words meant a lot to me and if she declared Hak to protect me... I wanted to believe he would. "So..." I rubbed his arms for a moment, biting my bottom lip in thought. "So just stay with Kija. O-Okay? And... don't fight with Yun. If... If some bad guys come here just... just protect Yona. I'll be with Hak, so... make sure she's safe." He stared for a moment, then nodded. I relaxed, though I was still terribly nervous. I released him and backed away, rubbing at my arms and fiddling with my fingers, twisting the sleeves of the green dress I was wearing. "Th-Thank you. I... I'll be back." I stepped away, only to quickly go back in for one more hug. I was clingy. "S-Sorry. I-I'll-I'll go now. Okay." I had to force my body to remove itself from him. "Sorry. I-" I shut my mouth, instead awkwardly pointing in Hak's direction, and forced myself to walk backwards before turning around and power walking towards him with my head low, my bangs falling into my face.

After I was standing next to him Hak tossed his Hsu Quandao to Kija who caught it in surprise. "It'll stand out. Besides, I don't exactly need a weapon to fight." I simply hugged myself, pulling at the sleeves on my arms at the painful memory of the punch that was delivered to my stomach so long ago. "White Snake-"

"Don't even say anything!" Kija barked, pulling a sulking Shin-Ah to his side as they stood behind Yona. "You heard Irene! Shin-Ah will help me protect the princess!" Hak stared at them for a moment, his gaze resting on Shin-Ah for a few minutes, before he nodded.

"Alright then." Hak looked down at me next, seeing how I was practically hiding behind him, and frowned. "Well, let's go." I could feel the hairs stand up on the back of my neck as he said that. I nodded tentatively, but before he could take even a single step Yona had moved forward and latched onto the back of his kimono. He turned his head with raised eyebrows. "Princess?"

"Hurry back," She told him, blushing a little. To my surprise, Hak's face became a little pink as well. I remember something I thought a long time ago. _Does Hak have a crush on Yona?_ It seemed probable. I remained silent, only to let out a yelp when Hak suddenly latched onto my arm with a painful grip and started to dragging me down the hill to the town. It was tense and silent, and highly uncomfortable. My wrist hurt from how tightly he was holding it, but I don't think he noticed it.

"Wh-What all are we getting?" I finally forced out, feeling my eyes water a bit. I wondered how long it had been since I last asked the question. I can't even remember the last time I went to Wal-Mart. "A-Anything specific?" Hak loosened his grip, finally, and cast me a glance.

"Food and weapons," Was his blunt answer. "You get food, I'll get weapons."

"B-But, what _kind_ of food? D-Do I need to get certain ones?" What if I grab something and it turns out everyone's allergic? "I-I know how to tell if fish is bad or not, I read about it-cloudy eyes are bad, smells like sea and flesh is firm means it's good, but-is there anything _specific_? What vegetables, am I even supposed to grab vegetables? What about rice? Yun mentioned rice-is there a specific kind of rice or something? Does it even matter? I-I can't-" I don't remember the last time I dealt with crowds. "What am I supposed to _do?_ " I was panicking. Hak, noticing how I was starting to freeze up, stopped walking. I went quiet, wondering if I said to much, and clamped my mouth shut. I debated if it would be worth apologizing or not, and if it would make him angry.

His face was just so blank. So deadpan. I can't read _anything_ from him-I'm scared to try and decipher what it was I saw in his eyes, because I was terrified I'd be wrong. I didn't know him that well, so I didn't want to try and guess what he was feeling. I was really close with Shin-Ah so it was easy to tell with him, to read his expression and body language, but this guy was a blank slate. I didn't like it. He was the total opposite of me. Hak released my wrist, causing me to step back, and when he raised his hand I flinched-

Only to open my eyes slowly when I felt a hand on the top of my head, ruffling my already wild hair. "Don't worry about it." I blinked, dumbfounded. _What?_ "Anything that can be carried and won't expire too quickly is fine." Oh... Hak retracted his hand and gestured for me to follow him. "Now come on. We don't have all day. The sun will be down soon." Nodding, still a little stunned, I forced my feet to move and chased after him as he quickly started to walk away. "We'll split up once we get there, that way we can cover more ground, but if something does happen just scream. I'll be able to hear you."

"O... Okay." That didn't make me feel any better about going into the town.

As we came to the bottom of the cliff and neared the entrance of the town I found myself walking closer to Hak, even going so far as to cling to part of his kimono when I saw some people stare at us curiously. He looked down at me, but didn't comment on it and continued walking, allowing me to following him like a duckling would its mother. I looked nervously around the town, accidentally catching eyes with some of the villagers, and nearly stepped on Hak's heel in my attempt to escape the stares. I was practically his awkward shadow. But... something was weird.

Narrowing my eyes, I could see the barest hints of golden lights where their hearts were. Some had a lot, others had fewer. But what was most noticeable was the look on their faces. Some were smiling, but... they all look exhausted. Worn. Scared even.

"Hey, Mister~" A woman called out, causing Hak to stop. I yelped when I slammed into his back. I whirled around in alarm, seeing a woman with curled black hair and a rather revealing kimono waving at him. "Why don't you come on by and play with us~? You can even bring your sister if you want!" She winked and smiled in what I believe was supposed to be seductive. I felt chills go down my spine. Hak grabbed my wrist and said,

"Well, we need to hurry back quickly! Let's get this shopping over with!"

"W-Whoa!" I yelped as I was dragged, and it was only after the brothel was out of view that Hak stopped and released me. "Wh-What's going on?" I'm so confused. Why did that girl think I was his sister? We look nothing alike. Dark hair, maybe, but his is black and mine is just a very dark brown. Our facial structure is also completely different. Besides, I thought same sex relationships were looked down upon in this day and age? Or do brothels just not care about that? _Paying customers are paying customers_ , I thought, wondering if that was the case. Realizing that Hak hadn't wandered off on his own yet I asked, "Aren't we going to split up?"

"...I changed my mind. This place is dangerous." I slumped over and made a face.

"Seriously? _Now_ you're saying this?" I thought guys in this era spent all their time in whorehouses. Why did he avoid it? _Was everything I learned about history wrong or something?_ Wait, what am I even thinking? That's cruel. I can't judge him like that. I have no right. Talk about stereotyping. Jeez. "A-Alright then." I awkwardly stood up straight. "So... where are we heading to first?"

"...Weapons. This way." I sighed and shook my head, raising my eyebrows incredulously, but did as told. We walked for a bit, and after about five minutes of looking for a blacksmith Hak's shoulders tensed. I frowned when I saw that. He continued walking however and I decided I must have imagined it-until I heard a cry. It sounded female. My heart pounded painfully against my ribcage, my breathing becoming labored. _Danger._ It's not safe. _They're coming._ The villagers are coming. _Enemies._ I-I need to... to... "Don't move. I'll be back." Hak stopped walking to speak to me, and then he took off running. I was about to protest, eyes already watering from the panic, but he was gone.

Merchants. Adults. Children. They all stared. Looked at me with their lifeless eyes. Some were surprised, others were concerned, most seemed angry. I shifted in place, scared and not knowing what to do as Hak had left me standing in the middle of the street. _I don't want to be alone._ I blinked away the tears and pulled on my sleeves, swallowing the lump in my throat. _Please hurry back. I'm scared._ I'm so scared. I-I don't... I can't...

Whispers. They were whispering. "Foreigner". "Outsider". "Spy". And something about a... "Kim-Ji"? "Kum-Ji"? Something like that. I wanted to run. I wanted to hide. _I want Shin-Ah._ Where is Shin-Ah?

Then there was the pull. The familiar pull from before. Warm and enticing-promises of safety. Family. Home. Where is that warmth coming from? I looked around wildly, frantic and scared and curious, but through all the masses of dark hair I didn't see anything out of place- _Wait!_ What was that? I stepped forward, ready to chase after it, when I froze. _Hak said not to move._

But... there's something-no... _someone_ there. Watching me. Someone familiar. I _know_ what I saw; I recognized that flash of blonde hair. But how? When? Koreans aren't blonde. They have dark hair. Dragons are an exception-Blue Dragon is blue hair, White Dragon is white hair, and I... well, I don't really count. Brown is a common hair color. So... who was it?

There are two presences I feel. One has to belong to the Green Dragon we're searching for, so... _are we being followed by the Yellow Dragon?_ Is the fifth dragon even yellow? What if it's, like, purple or something? Silver? No, wait, Kija's white-that wouldn't work. Or maybe it would? I have no idea how this thing works. _Why am I so convinced it's yellow?_

"Hey, you! Are you from Xing!?" I remained deep in thought, thinking, when a crude hand on my shoulders snapped me out of it. My breath caught in my throat. "Are ya listenin'!? Foreigners ain't allowed here in Kouka Kingdom! Get out!" Wh... What? _What?_ "Nobody wants ta see yer ugly face around 'ere!" His words slurred and his breath reeked of something gross. Was... Was this guy drunk? How do you deal with drunk people? I leaned away, stepping back as I tried to shrug his hand off of my shoulder, but he simply responded by grabbing me by the collar and shaking me. I clawed at his hands, leaning back as far as I possibly could to avoid the scent of his foul breath, and debated the thought of kicking him. I didn't want to hurt anybody-not again. Not by my own will. "You know what 'appens to for'ners around here? We _kill_ 'em." I was in the process of trying to come up with a smart retort through my fear when he threw me back, kicking dirt on me afterwards. "So get the 'ell out if you dun wanta die!" His voice was so loud, face so angry. His expression was twisted into something dark and cold, something _sinister_. His eyes were borderline bloodthirsty.

I don't care what Hak said. I want out.

I scrambled to my feet like the pathetic human being I was and ran, going and going even when my lungs hurt. I ended up running so far that I neared the docks, and if it wasn't for some random person suddenly crashing into me and grabbing me, I would have ran straight into the sea. "Whoa!" A deep voice grunted in surprise, almost dropping me, before we suddenly landed on solid ground. He let go almost instantly and I fell to my knees, wheezing and breathing heavily. If I was in my right mind I would have wondered how we ended up so far from the docks. The man who saved me from drowning stared at me in shock and disbelief, though I couldn't figure out why. "You..." He looked like he had been insulted in the worst way possible, and hesitated as he took a step back. "I thought you were just a myth..." His voice wavered. My breathing was shallow and black spots danced in my vision, but I tried to see clearly as I looked up at him.

He was a massive green blur.

Green...

 _Green Dragon?_

"Who are you?" His voice hardened and he narrowed his eyes at me. Violet. Who am... I...? He gave an almost bitter sounding laugh. "To think that the Brown Dragon actually exists... I couldn't even sense your presence until I caught you. Just what were you doing? No, that's not important; what _are_ you doing here? Not searching for me, I hope?"

"Out..."

The cold look on his face faded, replaced with confusion. "What?"

"I... I want out." I breathed. I can't stay here. I have to go. I have to leave. "I... I... they'll..." They'll kill me. The villagers will kill me. They'll finish what Ko-Ji started. Shin-Ah... Where is Shin-Ah? Why hasn't he appeared yet? Why am I alone? Tears burned my eyes and I choked, biting out as I forced my wobbling legs to stand, "I-I have to-to-to... I can't let them..." Him. Him too. He's going to try to kill me too, isn't he? I can't let him... I have to live. I need to live. I want to live. Shin-Ah needs me to live. "T-Try it. I... I won't..." I can't see straight. Why are there three of him? "I won't let you kill me..." His cold gaze went soft, eyes widening in surprise and what appeared to be realization and understanding. "I... I won't die." I squeezed my eyes shut, shaking my head as I raised my fists up. "I won't let you or anyone else kill me! I-I'm done! I-I'm done with the threats, I-I'm done with the voices and the beatings a-and the hatred! I never did _anything!_ We're not monsters! H-He's not, I'm not..." I'm not even sure who or what I was yelling at anymore. The world? Myself? Ko-Ji? I had no idea who it was I was seeing in this strange man's place. "I-I won't take it anymore! If... If you're going to threaten me actually follow through with it! I-I'll fight back this time! I won't take this anymore!" I'm always running away. Always... Always hiding behind people. I hate it. I hate it, I hate it, _I HATE IT!_ I'm sick of this! Sick of the nightmares, of the memories, of the fear... "I won't run, s-so.. bring it! I'm not scared!"

The world spun and everything went black for a moment, and when I snapped out of it I had to quickly catch myself from falling and hitting the ground. I almost toppled, but I got myself in time. I managed a dizzy glare.

"I will _destroy_ you." I was scared, and terrified, and I wanted nothing more to hide. But I was done. That man from before was the last straw and now _this guy_ is glaring at me too. I won't take it anymore. I could feel my body healing slowly, the sickness and nausea slowly going away, and as it happened the three men slowly started to form into one.

"...This is not what I was expecting." He sighed loudly, causing me to blink and tilt my head in confusion. _What?_ I blinked rapidly, staring dumbly at the man just a few feet away from me. He had a hand against his head, exasperated and bitterly amused. "I'm supposed to hate you. Instead, before I can even say anything remotely cruel to you, you make me empathize with you instead. How truly unfair, young lady. Saying such bold words in front of me... I don't plan on harming you, so put your fists down." He straightened, placing a hand on his hip, and it was then my vision cleared up properly and I was able to make out his appearance. He was tall, built yet slender, and was dressed in a dark green clothing-a much different design than everything else I had seen on his clothes. His down-turned blue eyes stared at me in a mixture of loathing and sympathy, his expression conflicted, and his forest hair covered the right side of his face, pulled back by a yellow ribbon and draping over his shoulder. I had a brief thought of what it would look like in a braid, and couldn't help but think the man was handsome. He was actually one of the more attractive persons I've seen, but he was nothing compared to Shin-Ah. "What's your name, little lady?"

"I... Irene..." What is going on? Why is he acting so strange? Was... Wasn't he going to attack me? I hesitantly began to lower my fists, before raising them back up again and struggling to decide whether or not to stay in a stance or relax. _Green Dragon_ , my mind thought-just like it had did with Shin-Ah and Kija when I first saw them. His hair... "Your hair... it's green."

"Naturally," He responded, flicking his long ponytail behind his shoulder. My eyes flickered, following the action, before I looked up at him in the eyes. He was _extremely_ tall-as tall as Hak if not even taller. "Given who I am, it's no surprise. Aren't you the same?"

"...Brown hair's common; it doesn't count." Hold on. Wait. "What?" He blinked at the sudden question. "No, wait, what? Hold on-you're _not_ going to try and kill me?" I'm so lost. So he _is_ actually the Green Dragon?

"As much as I hate the other dragons, no, I'm not going to kill you. I'm not that cruel. Besides, it wouldn't be very beautiful of me to harm a lady." His responses were curt and nonchalant, almost as if he had practiced them. But what he said bugged me quite a bit. I felt a huge surge of annoyance, just like I did whenever Kija brought it up to me in the past.

"I didn't ask to be a Brown Dragon; it's not like I wanted it! And you don't even know me; you can't hate me! It doesn't work like that!" I pointed at him dramatically, lecturing him angrily, and glowered as he stared in surprise. "If I had a choice I wouldn't be a dragon; there are plenty other people out there who could use my ability! Besides, it does nothing but cause pain!" It's the whole reason I'm even alive... I became it when I died, didn't I? I was hated by the cave dwellers not only because I was friends with Blue, but because of the marking on my face. "The only bright side is that I can help people!" I breathed heavily, finishing my rant, and tried to catch my breath. "I'm so done..." I brought a hand up and rubbed at my eyes, slumping my shoulders. "This is why I didn't want to go to a village... everybody is just a jerk."

"...You don't want to serve a master?"

I paused. _Huh?_ I lifted my head, startled to see him walking towards me. A strange look was on his face. I stiffened and resisted the urge to back away when he stopped in front of me. His height intimidated me, reminding once again just how small I truly was. I froze when he placed his hands on my shoulder, his eyes boring into mine.

"Say it again. Say it while looking me in the eyes and I might just listen to what it is you have to say."

 _I'm scared._ Let go of me. I don't like this feeling. I hated this forced feeling. I was utterly terrified of him, but my heart was screaming at me to trust him. That, like with Shin-Ah, Yona, and Kija, he was safe. Friendly. _Stop it._ I... "I don't... w-want to be a dragon..."

"And why don't you want to be a dragon?" He questioned afterwards, eyes searching mine intensely for the answer. I bawled my hands into fists, frightened. Why does he want me to answer that? What's the point of this conversation? Is this going to somehow lead up to me convincing him to join Yona's group? Do I even _want_ to convince him to join Yona's group? _I don't know._ I don't know anything. I'm useless as the adviser. How am I suppose to advise and answer questions, when I don't know the answers to the simple things myself? "Why aren't you trying to drag me away into joining your little group? I know the White and Blue Dragons are here. So the chances of you being here at the same time as them can't be a mere coincidence. You're with them, aren't you?"

I swallowed and nodded slowly. "Th-They're... They took in me and... and my friend." His eyebrows knit together and he frowned. His eyes reminded me of Eliza. Her's were down-turned just like his, only a much lighter shade of blue. "I-I just... don't like the idea of having a "role" o-or..." That's it. Because of it I ended up dying, that I ended up here. While I was grateful for it because I met Blue, I still utterly despised the thing that brought me here. "Or fate." I can never get closure. I can never stop being upset. Unless I know everyone is _okay_ then I can never accept my supposed "destiny" as Kija would put it. "I... I don't want a forced "fate"." You can't change fate. You can only be led towards it. Escaping is impossible.

A smile spread across the stranger's face as his tight grip loosened. He looked down at me, pleasantly surprised. He chuckled. "If you have the same mindset as I do, I suppose you can't be all that bad. It would've been a shame too, you having such a cute face."

...What? "O-Oh..." Um, what do I say to that?

He pulled away and rested a hand on his chin, smiling down at me. "I'm actually quite relieved. What did you say your name was again; Irene? Such an unfamiliar name, but rolls off the tongue; where are you from? No, no, that's not important; what's important is getting you away from that nasty group of yours! Being condemned to follow fate, such a cruel thing indeed, and to see you agree with me is something that must not be ignored!" I went still when I felt his arm around my shoulder, pulling me into his chest, and he rambled away at such a fast pace that if I were not such a fast-talker myself I wouldn't have been able to understand him. "You _must_ come with me; we could do well with a healer or two and having such an adorable girl on board would be _such_ a refreshing sight after being followed and relied on by such stinky men all day long; no, no, but of course we mustn't forget your friend! We must bring her along, right? You should introduce me to her; is she beautiful? Certainly not as beautiful as you I imagine, but then again-ah, let's not focus on that, did I tell you my name? My name is Jae-Ha, lovely lady, and it's pleasure to make your acquaintance. I thoroughly apologize for my rude behavior earlier."

I had no idea what had happened, but by the end of his speech he had grabbed my hand and leaned down, kissing the back of it. "Uhh... hi?" Um, he said "she"... Yona? "Y-Yeah, she's super pretty... almost... as pretty as you?" I tilted my head, lost in thought as I tried to figure out how to respond to his words, and as I spoke my mind went to Shin-Ah, causing me to blurt out the lines I would have normally said to him. The man named Jae-Ha practically beamed at me when I said those words, and it was then I was left to wonder how old he was. Definitely not a teenager... Hak's age maybe? How old is Hak? He looked older than Kija, and Kija was twenty. "Um, nice to-to meet you?"

To my discomfort his arm was around me again, and I began to miss the scent of earth and that what just made up _Shin-Ah_. I felt weird. Bad. I wasn't scared anymore, no, just... like I was doing something wrong. "Shall we go now? Oh, but we need to grab your friend first, don't we? Direct the way and we can go grab her, then head out. We have some men who need some medical treatment." Wait...

Friend... "Gah! Crap!" I threw Jae-Ha's arm off of me, practically bouncing in place as I freaked out. I felt no pain in my leg. "I need to find Hak! He told me to stay put and I ran off! I'm so sorry, I'll see you later, bye-bye!" I bolted off before Jae-Ha could say anything, waving to him as I ran away. As I ran through the village I took note of how all the people who had been glaring at me before was now looking around nervously, ushering children into hiding and women heading into buildings. All that remained were mostly men and some children who refused to go away. I turned a corner, slowing down slightly when I noticed some men with swords strapped at their waists, but before they could even see me run past them a hand suddenly clamped itself over my mouth, an arm around my stomach, and I was pulled forcefully behind some boxes next to a fish stand. Refusing to let myself be pathetic this time I clawed at the fingers, kicking at the stranger's legs, and tried to open my mouth to bite onto the hand.

"Will you stop struggling!?" A deep, familiar voice hissed. Hak whispered angrily, annoyed at my behavior. "I'm not kidnapping you! I'm keeping you out of trouble!" I paused and blinked, tilting my head back in an attempt to look at him. He was frowning, sweat beading down the side of his face. His voice was low as he spoke, speaking just loud enough for me to hear. "Those guards are bad news... we can't let them find either of us. I'm a wanted man and if they find you who knows what they'll do. You're female _and_ foreign." He scowled to himself, almost like he was berating himself over something. "I can't believe Yun and I didn't think of it... It must have completely slipped our minds." What? _He must mean because I'm not Korean..._ Did he hear the people whispering earlier? What happened while I was gone? "We need to leave. _Now._ "

I didn't protest as he released me and grabbed onto my wrist, carefully leading me away from the stand as we remained crouched down. He paused, waiting for the guard to look away while we hid behind another market stall, before we made our way out from behind it and rushing over to a nearby alleyway. There were multiple guards over there as well, so we had to wait before darting forward and hiding behind some barrels. The entire process of leaving the town required us being stealthy and silent, whispering only occasionally to warn the other of something. That being said, Hak was the one who spoke as I didn't dare speak in fear of getting us found out. Once we made it to the edge of town we stood up and bolted, and I struggled to keep pace with Hak as he dragged me along. The man was lightning fast, probably even faster than Shin-Ah and that man was as lithe as a cheetah, and I was so out of breath by the time we stopped halfway to the campsite that I fell on all fours and wheezed, gasping and coughing as I tried to regain oxygen for my aching lungs. "I-I can't-!" Oh jeez. I fell to my side, utterly exhausted. My stamina had built up greatly during my time running away from angry villagers in the caves, and all the walking around seriously helped, but I _never_ have ran so fast before in my life. "H-How do you run like that!? A-Are you hu-human!?"

I finally regained enough air and strength to push myself up onto my knees, staring up incredulously at the man who looked like he had just taken a short jog. Hak was insanely fit. "More human than you are, Brown Dragon."

"Sh-Shut up!" I gasped, "I-I didn't ask to be one!" He gave me a strange look when I said those word, but otherwise ignored me. He plopped down on the ground, crossing his legs and staring at me. I looked at him in confusion, vision slightly blurry.

"We'll head back to camp once you've caught your breath," He explained. My expression cleared up and I looked at him gratefully, breathing out a weak "Thank you". He simply nodded, not saying anything more. Instead, he looked out to the view of the port town, now small and far away. Unfortunately, we still had quite a bit to go before we reached camp. I decided to stop sitting and just fall over, laying down on my back with my arms spread out above my head as I continued to catch my breath. I closed my eyes, worn and tired from the day's events, and as my lungs started to work normally and my heart stopped pounding so stressfully I found myself dozing off. A thought then came to me, snapping me wide awake.

"What would they do to me?"

Hak blinked, surprised, and looked at me with a frown. "What?"

I sat up, staring at him frightfully, and asked, "I-I'm a foreigner... right? I-I'm not... I'm not going to be treated like a slave or anything, am I?" I remembered all my U.S History classes. Foreigners were usually killed, raped, or forced into slavery. Maybe all three sometimes, though not in that order. I recalled the first "enemy" I had encountered when I first met Blue. "I.. I'm not going to be sold, right?" I grabbed fistfuls of my dress, needing something to cling onto, and stared at him in horror. I was desperate and scared, but I wanted to know the truth. He frowned as he looked at me, not liking where this conversation was going. "What's... What's going to happen to me, H-Hak?" My voice cracked. The man had claimed he was going to sell me... "I-If they don't kill me, wh-what will they do with me? You-You said I would be in trouble because I was both female _and_ foreigner... a-am I not even considered a _person_ here?"

"...What are things like where you're from?" He asked after a long moment. "How do you deal with foreigners there?" I sniffed, blinking a few times, and answered to the best of my ability.

"We... We're a free country. America accepts everyone everywhere. We don't... really care who or what you are. It's... It's the place for new beginnings, or something like that." That's what I'm told, anyway. I've seen so many Filipinos and Chinese, how could we _not_ accept them? They're people, too. I don't understand racists-but maybe I'm just being naive. I'm one of the stupid idiots who constantly think "why can't everyone just get along" anyway, despite knowing that it won't ever happen. People are people, no matter the face, and skin color won't change that. "It's... impossible to reach from here, though." Hak stared at me for a long moment, probably wondering if I was just making things up, before saying gravely,

"This place is the completely opposite of yours. Do you really want the truth?"

I hesitated, before looking down at the ground and fighting against tears. "I... I feel l-like I already know what you're going to tell me."

"Then you're stupid." I raised my head up in shock, staring at him in alarm. What? How did that lead up to this? How am I stupid? "Did you not hear the princess earlier? I was ordered to protect you. And besides, you have Shin-Ah _and_ the White Snake looking after you. Anyone who tries to lay a hand on you will probably get torn to shreds by the Blue Dragon before Kija and I even get a chance to put a hit in. You're not going to be sold and you're _not_ going to be a slave. So get that thought out of your head. Shin-Ah's already going to be on my tail for letting you run off; I don't exactly want to be chewed out for making you cry, too."

His eyes...

Hak was totally sincere with his words. He meant every single thing he said.

Shin-Ah and I aren't alone anymore... it's not just us and Ao. We have people we can trust.

"...Thank you." My voice cracked a bit again, but I managed to keep my emotions in overall control. My chest hurt, but at the same time I felt a warmth from the knowledge that I had friends. New friends. Even if I had been scared or distrusting of them initially, I know I can rely on them. But even so... _They won't always be there._ When that man had attacked me I had been completely alone. Hak was gone and Shin-Ah wasn't anywhere near. I was left by myself. If he was truly going to kill me I wouldn't have been able to fight back. I couldn't defend myself. "But... I-I can't rely on you guys."

Hak looked surprised. I tightened the hold on my dress.

"No one... No one was there when he threatened me. A-And Shin-Ah a-always took a while back in the caves... I-I constantly relied on him b-because I couldn't defend myself. I-I've s-seen him _die_ s-so many times in my dreams b-because I'm scared he'll get killed t-trying to protect me. I-I ended up freaking out so bad that I-I thought my nightmare was _reality_ and-and attacked _Kija_ because of it!" I squeezed my eyes shut and shook my head, heart wrenching painfully inside of me. I ground my teeth together, inhaling sharply. "I-I can't... I can't let that happen again! You guys won't always be there to protect me; orders or not! H-Heck, s-some guy had to grab me because I almost fell into the sea earlier! I-I don't want to fight, I don't want to hurt anyone, b-but I don't want to die or let any of you guys die either! I-I don't want to hold a sword, I-I don't want to shoot, b-but I know I need to learn to defend myself so that Shin-Ah doesn't have to do it for me all the time!" I took a deep, shaky breath and opened my eyes, staring at Hak through blurry vision as I choked. "S-So _please_... e-even if it makes Shin-Ah upset... can you teach me how to fight?"

"..." He stared at me for a long time, frowning, before he closed his eyes and sighed. "Fine. We didn't buy anything today, so Yun will probably send us back down tomorrow. I'll buy you a blade, but only because I can tell you're serious about this. That look you're wearing tells me you aren't going to half-ass this. But that only means I'm going to be serious about training you as well-one hundred blade strokes a day and combat practice. Understand?"

I think I get what he means by "blade strokes", so, uh... yeah. I nodded frantically, relieved and grateful. "Thank you! Thank you, thank you, thank you!" I pressed my hands together, sitting on my knees as I thanked him repeatedly.

Our return to camp was quite interesting.

 **I'm so tired... goodnight. 3 (Falls over and passes out) I'm probably going to reread this tomorrow and regret it... but oh well. I'm currently quite satisfied with it in my half-asleep mind, so hopefully I feel the same tomorrow. Welp, I'm out~! Love ya'll and have a good night! And/or day, depending on the time zone. XD You know.**


	17. Wavering Mentality

The walk back to the camp was tiring and Hak had to stop more than once to wait for me to catch up, but by the time we had finally gotten back I was sweaty, dizzy, exhausted, and I just wanted to sleep. Unfortunately I knew that wasn't going to happen as there were not only multiple things I would need to tell everyone, but another most likely emotionally draining conversation/argument with Shin-Ah about my ventures with Hak. _Wow, that sounded wrong. How tired am I?_

I shivered at the very thought, horrified at the prospect of what my mind was plaguing me with, and became very uncomfortable as I recalled the Green Dragon's arms wrapped around me. I really didn't like that feeling, even if I did feel safe near him, and the knowledge that I let him wrap an arm around me made me disgusted with myself for some reason. I felt like I did something wrong, horrible, _dirty_. Why? I reached a hand out, clinging onto Hak's sleeve once more so I could try and keep pace with him, and after a while I finally managed to regain my breath. _I'm so tired..._

There was a surprised shout and a moment in which everything went black. Next thing I knew I was being shook awake by Hak who had a strange look of alarm on his face. I was propped against a tree. "Oi, Brown Dragon! Wake up already! Hey!" I groaned, lightheaded. The Green Dragon kept moving around at such a fast pace, never staying in one area for too long, and the Yellow Dragon... he's so close. So close it was making me sick. The urge to seek that one out pulled and pulled, pressuring me to find him with the promise that if I found him I would find home. Family...

 _My parents. My siblings. My friends..._

 _Shin-Ah._

I can't breathe. Why can't I breathe?

Cold hands cupped my face, trying to get me to look at the owner, but I saw nothing but the faces and images that were flashing through my mind. Memories I've never experienced, but that felt all too familiar. I wasn't able to focus, so I was unable to remember anything I saw other than glimpses or occasional phrases, but one thing I did make out... was "Zeno".

Somehow I knew it was a name. It was a name I recognized. But how? Why does it feel so familiar? As if I've heard it before and said it a million times it rang throughout my head, telling me and urging me to go find the owner of that name. _Brother..._ No. No, my brother is gone. He's not even going to be born for a good few centuries. A familiar smile that I swore I never seen before flashed in my mind, a finger held up in front of their lips as if to say "it's a secret". My head throbbed intensely, my stomach churning grossly and uncomfortably as something acidic and disgusting forced its way up my throat. _Zeno..._ My eyes burned and I pushed myself away from Hak, turning my head as I spat out the bile-vomiting and convulsing as I gasped and wheezed for air.

I felt Hak grab me, pulling my hair out of my face and resting a hand on my back as I emptied my stomach.

 _Brother!_ Why does he avoid me? Has he finally become ashamed of me? These rotten scales... Tears burned my eyes, falling down my eyes like streams. _Why do you remain so close... yet so far away from me?_ Why will you not let me see your beautiful self again? I want to see you, I _need_ to see you. You're so close it hurts. I want to rip my heart out of my chest and yet... I would still remain here even if I did. Why must you torment this worthless excuse of a god so? _I failed you once and left you alone again... and now that I'm back you want nothing to do with me._

My left eye burned so furiously, golden lights all around, and it only calmed when I felt the Blue Dragon pull me away from the stranger holding onto me. Stranger... no, wait, that's not right. Staring in confusion at the dark haired man as I leaned against the Blue Dragon's chest I tried to recall his name, finding it odd that I couldn't remember him despite finding him oh-so familiar. He looked a bit like Guen, what with his boar-ish appearance. My head pounded, as if someone had grabbed me by the hair and started slamming it against the ground, and I moved to grab onto the Blue Dragon and bury my face in his chest.

"Abi," I wheezed, coughing. It was strange how he was holding onto me like this-so protectively-and was even letting me cling onto him in this way. That ridiculous, temperamental noble always got so mad when I said something slightly romantic towards him-men, women; I was allowed to flirt with whoever I wanted. He just happened to catch my interest the most. "Abi, I-" I curled my fingers into the leather of his kimono, only to pause when I realized what was wrong.

He was too broad, too tall. Abi never wore leather or fur. Who was-!? I pulled myself away, alarmed, and stared in shock and slight horror when I saw someone completely different. That mask... "You are..." Blue Dragon. He is definitely the Blue Dragon, but he's not... Abi. That had to have meant that... no. No! What about Guen? Shu-Ten!? Zeno!? My... My King?

As I tried to stand a pain so intense ran across my skull, a voice screaming desperately to get out. I grabbed my head, tears streaming uncontrollably, and if I were in my right mind I would have noticed the sudden height different of my limbs. _What's happening to me!?_

"I-Irene?" A tentative voice asked. I stopped breathing and my eyes shot over to look at the man who nervously placed a claw on my shoulder. White hair... White Dragon. He looks like... no. A descendant? Wait, who is this "Irene" he speaks of? My name is... My mortal name is... "Irene, maybe you should sit down? You... don't seem very well."

"What happened?" A sweet voice spoke. My blood boiled at the sound of it. My King...? I reached out towards him, cupping his face in my hands. What had happened to him? "Irene?" He tilted his head at me, worried, but something was very _very_ wrong. My King... was female.

 _Yona._

"Y... Yona?" I choked the name and my voice sounded strange to my ears. "Yona..." She blinked, her Amethyst eyes curious and confused. She reached a hand up and placed it on my forehead.

"You're burning up... Let's head back to camp, okay? Yun can look over you."

Yun... a... a talkative... brunette? And... And that Blue Dragon...

 _Shin-Ah._

A wave of dizziness washed over me and, before anything else could be said, I fainted.

...

Shin-Ah ran his hand up and down my side as he tried to warm me up, my body shaking uncontrollably ever since I woke up. We remained close to the camp fire Yun had made, and the scent of cooking meat floated around the campsite. I could feel the bluenette shiver against me, cold due to the night air, and I snuggled closer against him. I was curled up in a small ball, freezing and feverish, and struggled to remember all that had happened. My memory went as far to when I threw up my insides, but everything after that to when I woke up was blank.

 _Zeno..._ just who was Zeno?

Every time I tried to think about it, my head throbbed and I just got this image of a blonde boy smiling with a finger held over his lips with the slightest semblance of a voice. I groaned at the pain, nuzzling my face into Shin-Ah's chest as I tried to hide my face in his kimono like Ao does most of the time. The necklaces he was wearing made it sort of uncomfortable, but I put up with it in favor of the warmth and security he gave off.

When I had woken up after my fainting spell, as Yun had informed me, Kija and Shin-Ah fretted over me like frightened children. Yun went off into another lecture, telling me to stop being so idiotic and incident prone, and Yona mentioned that I had been acting strange before I passed out.

"It was like you didn't recognize us," She claimed. "You called Shin-Ah "Abi"."

The name made my head throb just as painful as "Zeno" did. _I don't know any "Zeno"s or "Abi"s. So why does it hurt so much thinking about them?_ Such an intense pain in my chest... I felt like I was reliving the first few days here in Imperial Korea all over again. The pain felt so fresh and raw-like I had just lost my family all over again. I-I can't...

"I don't remember..." I croaked, curling closer to Shin-Ah. My eyes were squeezed tightly shut as I shook my head. "I don't remember." I felt Shin-Ah shift and press his lips against the top of my head, but it only made the pain increase. I had no idea what was going on with me; I just know that I was breaking. Or maybe I had already broken? Between my nightmares and possessive thoughts, I was starting to black out and do things I can't recall. How much closer and much longer will it take for me to finally go and snap completely? I can't stop wondering that.

I just wanted to stay like this; safe and warm and protected. I wanted to stay with Shin-Ah. I don't want any of this madness; I just want to remain by him. His arms around me like this...

I suddenly recalled my encounter with the Green Dragon earlier today. With everything that had happened I nearly forgot I found him. That being said that meant I didn't tell the gang about his existence yet. Should I even tell them? He made it quite clear that he hated the other dragons and I don't think Hak would be very happy to find out that Jae-Ha wanted to kidnap Yona. I doubt Shin-Ah would be very happy either since he also made it clear that he wanted to kidnap _me_.

Shin-Ah's fingers ran gently and soothingly through my hair, untangling to giant mess that was a mop on my head, and I leaned into his touch. This... This was nice. Relaxing. I loved moments like these-especially ones where I could listen to his heartbeat. It reminded me he was here with me and alive. My aching body stopped hurting so much as all the tension in my body ebbed away.

"How... are you feeling?" He asked quietly. "Do you still hurt?"

Instead of speaking I just shook my head. I nuzzled my face against his chest. "No..." I spoke quietly, voice a little muffled but still clear enough that he could hear me. "I feel better... but only because you're with me." His fingers paused at my words, his breathing faltering for a moment as I heard and felt his heart pick up pace, before he suddenly held me closer as he tightened his hold on me. "Shin-Ah?" I blinked in surprise, having not expected that movement. The way he was behaving was strange-it was like he was scared of something again. "Hey, Blue, what's wrong?"

He remained silent, instead just burying his face in my hair.

"Did something happen while Hak and I were gone?"

The moment I mentioned Hak, Shin-Ah's shoulders tensed up. Instead of answering like I had thought he would he just clung tighter, hurting my arms a little. I remained quiet, not letting out my complaint, and lifted my head up to look at him and trying to get a glimpse of his expression. His lips were tilted downwards, a deep frown adorning his face, and I knew that even with the mask in the way his eyes were boring directly into mine. Wiggling my arm out from between our bodies I reached a hand up to cup his cheek, frowning.

What could be wrong? This was way different than just being separated for a few hours and I know it wasn't because I had fainted again. My eyes widened when I remembered what Yona had told me. "Is this about when I called you "Abi"? I-I said I didn't remember doing that; I only know what Yona told me." I rose my voice, so Kija, Yona, Yun, and Hak all glanced this way for a moment before going back to what it was they were doing. They learned a while back to just tune Shin-Ah and I out whenever we got talking. "I-I was walking with Hak up the hill an-and then I got really sick and I threw up and I don't remember anything past that until waking up and I-" I cut off and clamped my mouth shut awkwardly when he shook his head at me. Just what did I do wrong?

Unfortunately, I never got to learn the problem as Yun finished cooking and waved the shish-ka-bob at us as he told us to "stop flirting and eat".

Pulling my hand away from Shin-Ah's face I scowled at Yun, scrunching my nose up at him as I complained, "We weren't flirting! Jeez." Rude. I huffed and went to unwrap Blue's arms from around me, feeling much better from before as all the dizziness and aching pain in my body was gone, but he refused. I blinked and looked up at him. He was unreadable. "Um, Blue?" I pat his hand, trying to signal for him to let go. He normally listens to what I say... seriously, what's wrong? Is he sick? "Shin-Ah?" He was just staring at me. "I... I kinda need to get our shares?" I pointed awkward in Yun's direction, who was watching with a very unimpressed face.

Hak and Yona were already mowing down, and Kija had just grabbed his stick from Yun.

The arms he had wrapped around my stomach moved once more, constricting my movement as much as possible, and it only took me a moment after what he said next to realize what was going on.

"I... I don't want... to share." His voice was quiet, so soft at the beginning that I could barely hear him, but as he continued his voice grew louder so everyone in the campsite could hear. "I don't... want you to be held by another person. You're... You're _my_ friend. I don't... like how that man from the town touched you." His lowered, deepening, and his growl sounded almost dangerous. Shivers went down my spine and at that moment, I was unable to decipher if it was because I was scared or if his voice just had _that_ kind of effect on me. "Hak was supposed to protect you."

"A-And he did, Shin-Ah. Neither of us are hurt, see?" As if to prove my point I raised a hand, but I only ended up making it worse when I said, "And besides, which man? There were two." I then closed my mouth, grounding my teeth together when I realized that didn't help at all and it only served to anger the normally calm Shin-Ah further. "T-Two-uh," Crap, how can I fix this? "One was drunk, so it-I mean; he won't remember!"

"He still _touched_ you."

Yun's voice echoed around in alarm when he exclaimed, "Wait, Irene was grabbed? What happened; Thunder Beast, explain! You two were supposed to stay together!"

Hak sighed and ruffled his hair, finishing off his shish-ka-bob before stabbing the stick into the ground. He looked a mixture of annoyed and guilty. "We split up to cover more ground," he lied, clearly not wanting to tell anyone about how he ran off and left me alone in the streets, "and she never told me about what happened when we met up again." He didn't mention what happened to him when he ran off either, so we're even.

Yona's hands were covering her mouth in horror, whereas Kija's claw was already extending in rage. "Oh my god... Irene, what did they do to you!? Are you alright?" She stood up, forgoing her meal, and dashed over to grab my face. "Why didn't you say anything!? Is that why you were ill earlier?"

"Tell me who did it and I'll punish them thoroughly," Kija growled, his lips curled back with his fangs protruding out of his mouth dangerously, eyes filled with murderous intent. I was frozen, unable to react or respond to the situation at hand from shock. "To think they had laid a single hand on... no, to think that might have happened to the _princess_ as well if she had went with... I will never forgive such inhumane acts towards the Brown Dragon! How dare they!"

I-I-I-Wait, _what!? WHAT!?_ "I-I-I'm safe! I'm okay!" I tried to pull away from Yona's hands, but with Blue directly behind me made it quite difficult as I only ended up leaning my back against his chest with Yona still in front of me. "I-I wasn't raped! I'm still innocent!" As soon as I had shrieked that statement Yona moved forward and wrapped her arms around my neck. I had a brief flashback to earlier when I declared "threesome" when Yun had jokingly teased about Shin-Ah being his husband, and I had to warp that thought out of my mind. "A-A drunk guy just grabbed and threatened me and another guy just went out and hugged me and called me cute!" I struggled against both Shin-Ah and Yona's hold, my legs kicking in the air with my arms frozen awkwardly at my sides.

WHAT AM I SUPPOSED TO DO? Do I hug her back? What the heck is even with his position- _her hair smells good_ -damn it, brain, not now- _I don't understand this situation!_ Somebody help me!

"A-And the guy who hugged me was the Green Dragon; his name is Jae-Ha; he saved me from drowning because I almost fell in the sea and holy _crap_ I remembered his name!" I gasped loudly, inhaling as much air as I could, and Yona finally released me. Shin-Ah's grip loosening I took that chance to wiggle out of his hold and I scrambled over to Hak's side, hiding behind him in fear of being tackled by those two, or even Kija and Yun, again. He looked down at me and blinked, staring blankly for a moment, before sighing and scratching his head. "Why the heck are you guys over reacting!?"

"The hell do you mean overreacting, you hypocrite!?" Yun yelled, glaring at me. His eyes were strangely red, as if he were about to cry. "We thought something seriously bad happened to you! Without clarification it's natural to overreact! We know you have a bad experience with townspeople already, but with what we heard it made it sound like... like..."

I went still when Yun made a choking noise, tears welling up in his eyes as he struggled not to cry. Grounding his teeth together and taking a deep breath, he raised a hand up to his face to cover his eyes as he demanded with a breaking voice,

"You're staying here tomorrow. Th-Thunder Beast, you're going alone."

Why...? Why does he... no... Why do _they_ care so much? Anyone aside from Shin-Ah... just shouldn't. Not knowing what else to do I lowered my head, biting my bottom lip as my shoulders began to shake. I felt awful. Not only did I make Shin-Ah and Kija mad, but I made Yun cry and caused Yona to worry, not to mention that Hak degraded himself earlier after he pulled me into hiding because he pushed my ethnicity aside. I... I really am awful, aren't I? "I-I'm sorry..." I always make a bigger mess of things. Stupid, stupid Irene... this is what happens when you stop thinking about how your actions affect others.

"Just... Just shut up and eat your dinner, you stupid girl!" I flinched and cried out another apology, practically bowing to him with the way I was kneeling on the ground and hiding my face in the dirt.

"S-Sorry! I'm sorry! I-I mean, I mean "yes, sir"!"

A hand on my shoulder caused me to pause, breath hitching in my throat. "Raise your head, Brown Dragon. You don't have to apologize for something that wasn't your fault." At Hak's words I slowly sat up, biting my lip as I strangled back a sob. _It's... not my fault. It's not my fault._ He said it's not my fault. How is it not my fault? "You can't control others actions. You didn't tell them to attack you." Oh... _That's true._ Staring at him for a moment I opened my mouth to say something, only to close it when I realized I had no idea what to say. "And... you said something about the Green Dragon?"

Realizing Hak was giving me an escape I piped up at the chance, sending him a look of intense gratitude as I nodded fervently. "Yes! Yes, I did! That's a thing I mentioned! Th-The second guy who grabbed me only grabbed me because I nearly fell into the sea!" There we go. Perfect. Phew... thank you. "He saved me; Jae-Ha didn't do anything bad to me!" Other than hug me without my consent, but uh... hugs are okay, right? Even if it was uncomfortable... let's just hope he doesn't do it again. Oh man, I want to say I hope I don't run into him again but with him being the Green Dragon I know there's no chance... "But guys! I found the Green Dragon!"

Yun removed his hand from his face while Kija looked excited. Shin-Ah still seemed greatly upset though. Yona's eyes were wide with surprise and joy. _At least they don't think he's a bad guy... wait until they meet him._ Looking as though the weight of the world rested on his shoulders Yun looked at me, eyes red and slightly puffy as he sniffled. "And you're the only one who met him?"

"Yup!"

He groaned and rubbed his hands against his face, clearly hating the world at that moment. "That means you _have_ to go back tomorrow... no. No, I don't _care_ if you found the Green Dragon. You are staying _put_ with Shin-Ah tomorrow. Understand?" He raised a finger up in the air and pointed down at the ground. His flushed face was stern and filled with the concern of... of a mother's. "No arguments. Not to mention that you were _sick_ just a few hours ago; you need to rest!"

"But my healing kicked in-"

"I don't care! You aren't going back to the town and that's final! I'm not going to risk having anything happen to you after today; you're always getting hurt and sick and into ridiculous situations and _damn it_ , I'm the one who put you in that situation this time! I don't care what you have to say; Shin-Ah and Kija are going to track down the Green Dragon and you. Are. _Staying_. Here."

B-But I...

Not trusting myself to speak I simply nodded, bottom lip trembling again.

"Now eat."

Like a robot I got up at his order and tentatively made my way over to the fire, taking off a shish-ka-bob, and made my way back over to Hak and sat down beside him, sorrowfully eating. I felt weak and pathetic from being yelled at like that-like I was an incompetent child who couldn't do anything right. I apologized to him multiple times in my head, and had to ignore Shin-Ah's stare from the other side of the campfire. It was weird and lonely not sitting next to him, and it tore at something inside of my chest, but Hak was the only person not mad or upset with me at the moment.

He didn't comment on it, instead leaning back against the tree and closing his eyes, and I silently ate as the campfire sparked and crackled in the night air.

Kija asked about the Green Dragon curiously and excitedly, and I answered to the best of my ability without speaking too loud, not feeling that confident.

Time passed by rather quickly and I did my best to stay awake, knowing Shin-Ah would want me to talk to him about what happened in the town, but as everyone went to sleep Shin-Ah laid down as well, removing his stare from me as he went to sleep. I relaxed my shoulders, relief flooding me when I realized I had at least tonight to figure out to calm him down, and rubbed at my face. _I should have known he would be able to see everything from here,_ I thought solemnly, remembering his special ability as the Blue Dragon. I can't believe I let that slip my mind. After ten minutes, when I was certain Blue and everyone else was soundly asleep, I carefully stood and quietly made my way over to where Shin-Ah lay.

Kneeling down beside him I waved my hand in front of his face, double checking, but he made no movement other than the soft breathing as his eyes stayed closed.

Doing my best not to disturb his slumber I laid down on the ground as well, scooting closer to him, and closed my eyes. I reached forward, hand lightly pressing against his side for reminder of his presence. But as I did so his arm suddenly wrapped around me as he turned, pulling me to him as he lifted a leg and wrapped it around my hip. Startled by the sudden movement I let out a small yelp, but it was quickly muffled he pressed my face into his chest. Somehow managing to push my face away I looked up at him, startled and frozen when I saw his eyes open and looking down at me almost hypnotically.

The gold was smoldering with emotion, burning and melting my willpower the longer I stared into them. I was unable to look away, locked into place by his mesmerizing gaze. I wondered if he could hear how loud my heart was beating. With his good hearing, probably.

Lowering his gaze he closed his eyes and moved closer, resting his forehead against mine.

I knew what the message was right away when he did that and my heart lurched inside of my chest painfully.

 _"I'm scared. Don't leave me again."_

Not knowing what to do I found myself leaning forward, unable to hold back anymore, and pressed my lips against his. He paused in surprise and opened his eyes, but I was already hiding my face in his neck. I was probably beet red, my face feeling like a heater at that moment, and I berated myself in my head for being stupid. Why did I let myself do that? _Damn it-stupid, stupid, stupid!_ But I had no idea what to do.

Feeling a hand on the back of my head I reluctantly pulled away, biting the inside of my cheek as I looked at him again. Shin-Ah rested his hand on my face, just staring at me. My heart was pounding so fast and so loud I thought it was going to explode. My skin tingled from where he touched me, his fingers brushing my cheek, and I instinctively closed my eyes when he pressed a kiss close to my right eye before nuzzling his nose against mine.

I'm... assuming he didn't mind?

That or he didn't really know the importance of it; I mean, I kiss his cheek and forehead and nose and jaw all the time-why would a kiss on the lips be any different to him? He's so innocent it hurts. Well, regardless of what it meant to him, I managed to relax and calm down when I realized he didn't care. Well, not that he didn't _care_ but just that he didn't understand. _Wait, is this considered taking advantage of him?_ I never knew I would become this deplorable. Huh.

 **I've got a account! Woo! I mean, it's for my art, but still. XD Username there is the same as on here. I don't have too much stuff posted, but what I do have is viewable to everybody. Well, anyway, read and review! Hope you guys like this chapter.**


	18. New Perspectives

She still had bags underneath her eyes, Shin-Ah noticed. Brushing her hair out of her face as she groaned in response to being woken he cupped her cheek, caressing it gently with his thumb as he frowned lightly in worry. His thumb brushed against the markings covering her face, the brown dragon design as smooth as her skin, and he wondered if she was born with it like he was his eyes. She never regarded him as a monster, as a beast, a creature who shouldn't even have an existence; she saw him as a human being, a _person_ , someone who deserved to be cared about. She even gave him something akin to a name when they first met, something to be called and identified with instead of living forever as a needless monster.

Irene gave him _purpose;_ a form of identification to cling onto and remind him that he existed, that he had a _reason_ for existing.

Shin-Ah had only ever mentioned to Irene once about how when she ran straight into him that fateful day he thought of her as a "brown dragon". She shot him down immediately, saying about how he was being ridiculous, and he never brought it up again. Irene never seemed to realize she had markings on her face, for whenever mentioned she became confused and distant, diverting from the topic and going to something else. Shin-Ah was curious as to why that was, but he had believed himself to be someone who didn't deserve an answer so he never pried.

He never expected himself to become so protective or clingy of Irene, nor get so angry whenever someone threatened her or touched her. Every time, _every time_ in the caves whenever an intruder came Irene almost always got found first, leaving the Blue Dragon to run at full speed in a desperate attempt to get there in time to protect her. He watched as the intruders beat her, he watched as the men in his villager _tormented_ her. But Irene never blamed Shin-Ah for what happened; she remained by his side regardless.

Just who was she? He still couldn't figure it out. She just appeared in golden lights one day, a translucent image of an old dragon wrapped around her and setting her gently on the ground. Irene seemed to question it, too, and Shin-Ah wondered if he had imagined the whole thing about the dragon. He also wondered if Irene was gift from his predecessor, Ao. He knew it was selfish, he knew it was stupid, and he knew Ao believed he would never make a friend, but... a part of him liked to think so. Ao was the one person who had ever been nice to him, Ao was the one who had raised him, and even though Shin-Ah could barely recall his face... he still remembered the warmth from his hand.

Ao was really the only definition Shin-Ah had of family, but... he liked to consider Irene a part of it too. Which is why he wanted to think of her as someone Ao sent to keep him company. Why he wanted to believe that Ao, who was somewhere up in the heavens he once told him about a very long time ago, had grown tired of watching Shin-Ah suffer in lone silence and sent him someone to keep him company.

Irene was unlike anyone he had ever seen, so the first few days he'd known her he found it hard to believe her real. More often than not he wondered if he was dreaming and, if when he'd wake up, he'd be back in the caves again, suffering alone with only his squirrel friend for company as he pondered the meaning of existence. He thought about killing himself multiple times, he honestly did, but he knew a new Blue Dragon would simply be born and take his place, and without anyone to teach him how to fight the village Ao had protected when he was alive would be in danger and the new Blue Dragon would be all alone, left to suffer just like Shin-Ah.

But then _she_ appeared and everything changed drastically for him. He had a meaning, a purpose, someone to live for. She cared about him, grew worried, and got scared when he didn't return for a long amount a time when either fighting intruders or not telling her where he'd be going. She was sensitive and kind, more so than he could ever be, and he became attached. Shin-Ah started to fear the thought of losing her, of losing his first friend, the first person to ever care for him and not be afraid, and clung to her so tightly he became threatened whenever someone new approached.

But, above all... she loved him.

Shaking the sleeping brunette lightly he spoke, throat hurting from having not spoken all day. "Irene... it's noon now." He fought a wince and cleared his throat. He hadn't even spoken when the others woke him to tell him that they were leaving camp to head out into town, Yona wishing to check on Hak. "Wake up." His heart thumped a little bit in his chest she groaned in response, lightly swatting his hand away. Before, he would have taken offense and been hurt, but he was all too used to her morning behavior now. He actually found it quite... what was the word? Endearing? No... adorable. Yes, that's the one.

The warmth and pounding in his chest only grew stronger when she curled around him, clinging onto his kimono as she buried her face in his lap. His lips twitched, the muscles struggling to remain facing down, and he found himself running his fingers through her hair again, untangling the giant mop of brown. After a few moments of this he found it hard to resist and picked her up, pulling her onto his lap and allowing her to snuggle her face into the curve of his neck as he wrapped his arms around her.

He questioned what he did to deserve her, if he ever even did do anything to deserve her, and planted a kiss to the top of her head. She always called him beautiful, praising him whenever she had a chance, but Shin-Ah believed it was the other way around. _She_ was the beautiful one. Like the story she told him before they met the princess- if Shin-Ah was a beast, then Irene was no doubt the beauty that lit up the darkness in his lonely cave.

She had always told such sad stories, but he liked them because they always had a happy ending. A woman being tortured by her step-sisters and their mother, only to meet a prince in the end and live happily ever after; a woman whose father was sick and she disguised herself as a man to take his place in the war, bullied and being forced to go through multiple trials before being able to save her country and make her father proud. Another about a different woman who had been cursed by an evil fairy, put to sleep in a tower, and only managed to wake when her true love found her. Then... a tale of a man who was cursed, turned into a hideous beast, who had to love and be loved in return in order to break the curse.

That was his favorite story. He imagined himself in the Beast's place, scorned by the village people, but beloved by his servants and Belle. Belle, whom Shin-Ah imagined as Irene. She was never scared of him, not even when he killed a man in front of her. Instead she had just yelled at him for making her worry about whether or not he was safe. She had defended him when the villagers yelled at him, cursing his existence, and she had called him a friend. Even though he told her she could leave she remained by him. Though staying by his side was dangerous, though she kept getting hurt, she remained. Irene was always getting injured in some way-she was so clumsy, so reckless, so _fragile._ He wanted to hold to hold her in his arms and never let go.

So when he saw Hak leave her alone in the town and let that strange man grab her...

Kija and Yun could barely hold him down when Shin-Ah tried to jump off the cliff, having deemed it as the quickest route to the Port Town. He had let himself look away for just a _moment_ and when he looked back there was a strange man with green hair holding her close and kissing the back of her hand. An arm wrapped around her shoulders, pressing her against his chest...

Shin-Ah didn't like it. He was willing to share Irene with Kija and Yona and Yun, and even reluctantly agreed to share her with Hak as Irene had asked him to do so, but what he was _not_ willing to share was her affection. She was _his_ friend, _his_ Irene. He found her first. He knew it was childish of him to think of it that way, but he wasn't sure how else to explain it. He was her's, just as she was his. Only he can hold her like this.

"I'll... let you rest longer..." He whispered quietly, knowing that the dark circles were probably from the nightmares she had for so long. He had always wondered what they had been about, but he never asked, and simply let her curl up next to him at night. Shin-Ah had nightmares, too, sometimes, and it was always scarier when he found himself alone in the dark. He understood what being alone was like, and didn't wish that upon her, so gave her his company just as she did for him. What he never would have suspected, however, was that her nightmares would be about him. That she would be so scared to lose him that she'd wake in the delusion that he died and... attack people whom she thought had killed him.

It was one big surprise for Shin-Ah when he had seen what was happening. He knew she was uncomfortable around everyone, something which he believed had derived from her relationship with the villagers, but he never would have thought her to attack Kija-especially after she deemed him safe for Shin-Ah to be around. He was frozen, woken from his slumber to see a horrific scene, and only was able to act when he saw Irene ready to injure herself further.

He wondered how long her nightmares have been about him, and if the first nightmares she had before they became friends were of something different.

Shin-Ah wasn't one for physical contact, uncomfortable and not knowing hidden meanings behind them, but with Irene he didn't mind. He actually found himself craving her affection, and Irene always seemed to drown in the affection he gave back to her. Physical contact always seemed to work well with calming her and, in a strange way, it started to do the same to him. He was always on edge whenever she wasn't nearby, always fidgety and anxious when not holding her hand or clinging to her. Even just her latching onto the sleeve of his shirt with her thumb and forefinger brought him immense comfort.

And then there were the kisses. The tingling on his skin every time she pulled away, a strange warmth from her lips and then cold when she's not there. On the forehead, on the nose, on the jaw, and on the neck... He could recall every spot she had kissed him clear as day, and every spot he had kissed her. The cheek, the forehead, the tip of her nose, her chin, her eyelid... and so very close to her mouth. He wasn't sure why, but he always found himself thinking of kissing her there. He remembered her explaining that couple kiss involved lips touching, so while he got closer and closer he always remained away. Sometimes he found himself doing it without thinking, others he's just testing. She never seemed to mind it... in fact Shin-Ah was certain she liked it. But he was scared, so he never went further than the corner of her mouth.

And then she kissed him last night. His heart thudded so hard against his chest he thought it was going to jump out of his body. It was light and warm, and her lips were chapped from the cold, but he just felt this inexplicable _airlessness_ , a strange tingly feeling forming in his stomach and making his toes curl. He was so happy... He had pretended to sleep, waiting for her to lie down in order to grab her and pull her to him, if only for the reason because he was upset about her leaving his side. Shin-Ah still had a lot of difficulty expressing how he felt, so in his joy he had simply held her closer and kissed the top of her head. Shivers went down his spine when she buried her face in his neck, the male having felt like he was floating rather than laying on the ground.

She was just... She was just so... so _wonderful_. She was his Irene. He wasn't scared to show her his eyes because... even if he somehow accidentally used his powers, a part of him believed it wouldn't affect her. He was a weak and ugly monster and yet... someone so wonderful loved him. And if true love could really break curses... then wouldn't that mean she was immune to his?

Thinking about the times they had in the cave made him glad they were alone once again. Even though he adored Yona and Kija and Yun, he loved Irene even more. He enjoyed the time they spent together, but felt happier when it was just them. With that thought in his head, grateful towards Yun for making Irene remain with him at the campsite, he nuzzled his face into her hair and inhaled her scent. _Lavender..._ how she smelled of so while being covered in dirt and grass stains he didn't know, but he liked it. He thought it fit her well. Lavender and the smell of grass after rain.

A yawn snapped him out of his thoughts and he pulled away slightly, looking down at the person of his affections as she started to wake up on her own. She released his kimono to rub at her eyes, yawning loudly before nuzzling her face against his chest and trying to hide in his kimono like his squirrel companion did sometimes, before groggily opening her eyes and blinking.

Her doe eyes were such a dark brown, big and bright, but holding a sadness he couldn't name. Whenever she smiled she shined like the sun, ever so beautiful and warm, and he always found himself hurting inside whenever she cried or when he saw the pain slip onto her face. She was wonderful, but also strange. Back in the caves he would always see her crying and talking to Ao while he was away searching for food or even bathing, and when she thought he wasn't looking she would always get this distant look-like she was thinking of something far away, and as if she was facing the world alone.

He despised that look. It didn't suit her at all. He much preferred to see her happy, and wished she would tell him what bothered her so he could fix it. He would do anything to see that joyous look in her eyes. When his thoughts began to get rather dark Shin-Ah blinked from behind his mask, realizing just how protective he was of her. He was even willing to kill _Hak_ during the first few days of their adventure when he had seen the man punch her. He still didn't particularly like the man because of the way he treated his dear friend, and felt even worse towards him because of how he failed to protect her, but if Irene wanted him to be nice then he would, especially if she wanted to be friends with him.

Her fear of the Thunder Beast had seemed to start deteriorating recently, and he wondered what had caused that to be. Shin-Ah was quite upset when she ate beside Hak instead of him, and he wondered what caused the sudden spike in their relationship. He remembered seeing them stop way down below the hill and it took everything Shin-Ah had to not go running down there to her, and he wondered if Hak said anything then or in town before he left her all alone. What could be so important that it made Irene trust a man that had been so greatly hostile to her before...?

...

 _"Be more careful next time, okay? People care about you, Ma'am."_

I groaned at the voice replaying itself in my head, my brain throbbing painfully inside my skull. Blonde hair and a secretive smile... and the name "Zeno". They all seemed so familiar; I was certain I knew someone with that description, but at the same it felt completely strange to me.

Rubbing my eyes I yawned, blinking a few times as I slowly pulled away from Shin-Ah and looked around. Tired, I knit my eyebrows in confusion when I heard no sound other than Shin-Ah's breathing and heartbeat. "Where... Where is everybody?" I asked. Wasn't Hak the only supposed to go into town or... did they go with him? Or did Yun go to get more firewood or something while Kija scouted the area? Wouldn't it be easier to have Blue just turn his head and see into the forest? Maybe there was a stream nearby and he went to take a bath... that would make sense. He was as obsessed with hygiene as I was-or used to be. I'm still pretty grossed out by all the dirt and sleeping on the ground; I hated the thoughts of ants or spiders crawling into my hair or up my legs a-and-

I stiffened when a terrified chill went down my spine, resisting the urge to shiver. Oh, how much I missed pants. Maybe if we ever go clothes shopping I can convince Yun to let me get a pair of men's clothes?

And, if anything, Yona was probably out hunting. She seemed to do that a lot.

"Hey, Shin-Ah-" I turned to look up at him, but the mask on his face caused me to look down at his lips and I froze, recalling what I had done last night. _Oh god._ Oh my god. No, no, it's fine. It's fine. He doesn't know. He doesn't understand; it's okay. _But that makes it SO much worse!_ I can't believe I did that... oh god... That was taking advantage of him, wasn't it? He was innocent! A-And when he understands the meaning of it he's going to hate me and shun me a-and- _I never even kissed another person before, and when he finds out the importance of it I-I-_ I'll be destroyed. It will literally kill me. I _need_ him in my life a-and if he pushes me away then I... I won't survive.

The guilt also increased as the knowledge that Shin-Ah hadn't kissed anyone before either, quite obviously, because he was _shunned his entire god damn life._

Realizing I was staring with an open mouth like a fish I closed it, blinking a few times as I felt my face heat up, and quickly turned my head. I could feel his eyes on me, boring into my skull from behind his mask, and I felt my heart thudding in my chest in horror and embarrassment. I was such a terrible person, holy crap-I had always been rather old-fashioned and strict on myself, refusing to date anyone while still in highschool because I knew the relationship wouldn't last, and that first kisses were supposed to be special. And yet I had just-even though I...

"Irene?"

A hand cupped my cheek, causing me to pause, and it was only when I choked on a startled gasp did I realize I was crying again. Shin-Ah pushed his mask up with his other hand, eyes concerned as they looked down at me, and I felt like someone caught in the headlights as I looked at him with wide eyes. I tried to speak, to get out an apology, but I found the words stuck on my tongue as I choked on air and a strangled sob.

I was ruining Shin-Ah's life without him even knowing, wasn't I? I was the worst person to end up in the caves with him.

I grit my teeth together as my lips curled back, knowing full well I was unable to speak properly, and hiccuped roughly as the tears continued to fall unrelentingly. I found against my trembling shoulders, the ache in my chest, and tried my darnest to stop, but when I attempted to pull away from Blue to wipe at my face and hide he just held onto me tightly, preventing me from pulling away. He kept me pressed against his chest, even when I struggled, and after a while I stopped thrashing and just squeezed my burning eyes shut, hiding my face in his shirt.

Even though I shouldn't have, even though I should probably be pulling myself away, I found myself wrapping my arms around him and clinging onto his kimono. I still let myself find comfort in him even though I had hurt him without his knowledge; how disgusting could I get? I stiffened when I heard Shin-Ah say my name again.

"Irene..."

Swallowing thickly I slowly pulled away, keeping my arms wrapped loosely around him as I lifted my head to look at up him. I finally managed to force out some words, those being a pathetic, "Y-Yeah?" Did he figure it out? Or did he want me to explain? "I-" I cut myself off when he leaned down and pressed his forehead against mine, his eyes closing as his arms slid down from my shoulders and locked around my waist. My breath hitched in my throat, greatly affected by the small action due to the huge emotional state I was in. My voice cracked, squeaking a little. "B-Blue?"

His eyes opened, the golden orbs keeping me in place if only for a moment, before he closed them again and leaned down, tilting his head. My eyes went wide, startled, when he pressed his lips against mine. It wasn't even the kiss that startled me so bad-it was how calmly he had done it. Like it was the same as any other kiss I had given him or vice versa. Neither of us moved for about ten seconds, and then he pulled away and nuzzled his face into my neck, mask moving to the side as it pressed against my jaw. "It's okay..." He murmured softly, voice low. I was currently fighting my way back into reality, arguing in my mind as I tried to figure out what that action had meant. Arms wrapped tightly around my waist he pressed my chest against his, refusing to release me no matter what the circumstance. "I'm here. It's okay. It was a bad dream..."

He... what? He couldn't see my expression since he was currently hiding his face in the curve of my neck, but it was that of horrified realization. When I had said his name I must have started crying, and he thought that... that I had dreamed of his death again. B-But then why did he just-!? _What?_ I wanted to explain to him the importance of kissing, and that it should only be done between couples, but I found myself unable to even speak. I... I just couldn't. _Wouldn't_. If he found out he would hate me, wouldn't he? A-And I...

I choked again, more tears building up. I really hated this. I really hated being such a terrible person. So, not knowing what else to do, simply hugged him back as I tried to ignore the voices in my head screaming at me to apologize and tell him what was wrong with all of this.

And honestly, I actually liked the kiss. I think that was the worst part about all of this.

I wasn't sure how long I cried over it, or how long Blue hugged me still believing that I had had a nightmare, but after a good while I forced myself to pull away. I sniffled, rubbing at my nose, and hiccuped a little. Blue's hands grabbed at my face, wiping at the tears-an action all too familiar to him now. It was probably second nature to him after doing it so many times. "Wh... Where is everyone?" I forced out, ignoring the painful ache in my chest. He looked down at me, beautiful eyes threatening to freeze me in place as I found myself getting temporarily lost in the gold molten pools.

Thumb brushing just below my eye he answered, voice quiet. "They left... to the village. They wanted to check on Hak."

Really? Then... oh. Yun didn't want Shin-Ah in town and... he forbid me from going, so he probably told Shin-Ah to look after me. Not that any orders were necessary. I sniffled again, taking a deep breath, and grabbed at the hands that were still on my face as I slowly stood up. My stomach churned a little uncomfortably, probably cramps again, and I shifted a little at the disgusting flowing of the blood. I needed to take a bath _and_ wash the cloth Yona gave me to use. "Is there a stream or something nearby?" I asked him, watching the male stand after looking up at me for a minute.

It was weird, us being alone like this. Even weirder because of my feelings for him. It was normal back in his village, in the caves where he lived, but now after being surrounded by so many people for so long... even after I had wanted Blue and I to be alone again, even if for just some minuscule amount of time, it felt strange.

A hand on my wrist snapped me out of my thoughts and I was left stumbling as Shin-Ah pulled me in a direction sideways from the cliff. "Wh-Whoa!" I yelped, but didn't protest or ask where he was taking me; I already knew where. It was at least ten minutes away, and by the time we got there he was already pulling on the sash tied around my waist. I squeaked, a startled wave of alarm and heat flashing through me, and I smacked his hands away. "No! I-I told you; I can get unchanged myself!" How many times do I have to repeat that? Wait, "unchanged"? God dang it, I'm too flustered to even use proper grammar. My vision blurred a little as I kept hold of his hands, the male having tried to help again, and I choked. "I-I m-mean, I can... I can do it... myself..."

Still keeping hold of his hands I raised them and pressed them against his chest, stiff. I let go, patting them awkwardly.

"S-So you just... stand guard. O-Or something... of the like, okay?"

He stared down at me for the longest time, an unexplainable emotion flickering in his eyes, before he cupped my face and leaned down, planting a kiss on my forehead. "..." He rested his head against mine, before grabbing at the hands I still had on his chest. "Irene..." Something got stuck in my throat, an oddly pleasant chill going up my spine when he murmured my name with closed eyes. "Can... Can you say it again?" He opened his eyes slowly, locking our gazes. "I... want to hear you... say you love me... again."

"I-I-" I couldn't speak. Why did he want me to say that again? What is even with the look on his face? It's very difficult to describe, but it's... _Oh wow._ I-I... I think I'm melting. Why is it so suddenly hot in here? I felt small underneath his molten entrancing gaze, even smaller than I already was, and my feet were frozen to the ground. My legs actually felt a bit weak now. "I..." My voice squeaked and I swallowed, mouth suddenly very dry. "I love you..."

And there it was-the final straw that actually made not only my will power, but even my legs completely give out.

He smiled. Shin-Ah. Freaking. _Smiled._ The man who never smiles. The most beautiful person who has trouble understanding even the basics of human interactions, and he _smiled_ while wearing _that_ look on his face. H-Holy... I can't. I can't do this. I'm not sure how long I can last if he keeps this up. I just... need to distance myself. That's all. Yes, that will work. If I distance myself the feelings will go away a-and he can live normally. I-I won't hurt him anymore and... and...

 _He'll hate himself_.

It wasn't surprising when Shin-Ah let out a startled sound, reaching out and wrapping his arms around me when I suddenly fell.

There's just no way. I can't be near him, but I can't avoid him either, and no matter what I do I myself just become clingier than before. I fall deeper and deeper and despite everything I'm unable to climb my way out. Why...? Why is it so hard to distance myself from him? Why am I so dependent on his presence, his existence, his _being_? I've only known him for a few months- _a few MONTHS._ Isn't it impossible for someone to fall in love in that short amount of time?

"Don't go..." Grabbing onto the fur lapels I buried my face into his chest, squeezing my eyes tightly shut. My heart ached, breaking just at the thought of separating myself from him. "I'm sorry... I-I'm so sorry..." Please don't leave me; _I love you._ I love you so damn much. I said I wouldn't leave you unless you wanted me to so many times, but I... I don't think I'll ever be able to do that. I _have_ to be near you. I _have_ to have you near me, with me, beside me, against me. All the stupid arguments, all the clingy moments, eating together, goofing off... even the sob-fests. God, all the sob fests. "I love you. I-I love you, I love you, I love you-" As I spoke I pushed myself up, sitting on my knees, and pressed my face into the curve of his neck as he leaned down, holding me close.

"Irene..." I pressed a quick kiss to his jaw before hiding my face again. I felt him nuzzle his face into my hair.

Maybe I was too dependent. Maybe he was as well. But is that necessarily a bad thing? Yun's right; we both should try and branch off. But when it physically hurts both sides of the party _so much_... is it really a bad thing? Blue's chest glowed a brilliant gold, my hand resting just above the glimmering lights. A part of me felt like a good portion of the pain I felt wasn't mine, and that another portion of the pain belonged to a third party. Like I was connected to two, maybe three, people, combined with the link the Dragon Warriors and the Healer share. I could _feel_ Blue, Kija, Yona, and two others. But none of the pain ever felt like it was mine.

Every time I look at them, with the exception of Kija and the inclusion of Hak, their hearts were almost always glowing. Glowing with the lights of brilliant fireflies at night. I didn't understand it, I still don't exactly understand it-nor do I know how to control it, but I always felt this crushing weight. Not from my grief or my guilt, but more like people were piling up on my back and resting their pain and weight on my shoulders. It was almost suffocating, like I was drowning in the sea.

And, you wanna know what the strangest part was?

I could feel the Yellow Dragon's pain as well.

* * *

He wondered where she could be. He had searched all throughout town looking for her, that strange young woman with the foreign features and the milk brown eye. She was attractive, certainly for a foreigner, and Jae-Ha found himself quite pleased when she claimed him to be rather beautiful as well. Such an honest face, he mused, recalling the way she had looked at him. Naturally she had no idea who he was at first, the adult male having to introduce himself after interrogating her, but he wanted to change that. Jae-Ha absolutely _adored_ chasing the doves that flew around him, baiting him with the slightest flutter of their eyelashes.

And this was a rather interesting dove he had found; a dove he didn't even know _existed_. Jae-Ha had grown up being fed the stories about the Crimson Dragon King and his four Dragon Warriors, but very little could be found about the King's Adviser-his brother-in-arms, his healer, his most trusted friend. Some deemed that a character such as that must not exist, and Jae-Ha remembered having only heard about the Brown Dragon in his village from his predecessor. He could find nothing outside of the monstrous village he had escaped.

Not that he cared, really, but he always found the Brown Dragon to be a mysterious character. Sometimes he wondered if the "king" would show up with the other warriors, and if he did what he would say to him. "Please go away". "I do not wish to join you". All the words he could imagine without exploding in the bastard's face, and he would always go back to wondering of whether or not the Brown Dragon would be next to him. What would he look like? Would he be as cold and mighty as the King he served, slimy even, and manipulative, or would he be frail and pathetic?

He certainly wasn't expecting the petite brunette the Brown Dragon had turned out to be, nor to find _her_ by taking a stroll around the town. Jae-Ha thought about his actions as he played his Erhu- a two-stringed instrument he had bought that was imported from another land. If he had known the girl that was diving straight for the sea was the Brown Dragon, would he still have saved her? Or would he have let her die out of his spite of the Four, no, Five Dragons and their King? Perhaps he would have. Jae-Ha wasn't the nicest of people, but...

He stopped moving the bow on the strings to sigh, raising his head up to stare at the moon blazing gloriously in the sky, illuminating the stars and endless expanse of blue with a glimmering white.

Jae-Ha would have jumped in regardless, wouldn't he? And if he hesitated and she fell in, he would have jumped after. She was a woman, after all; it wouldn't be beautiful of him to let a lady drown. She was also delusional in her grief-her mind was not working, so he doubted she had any idea she was about ready to plunge into the sea either. _Such a cute lady..._ He thought, readying his bow on the strings once more. His eyebrows furrowed, recalling a time when his ankles were bound by chains and bruises adorned his gorgeous body. _She said her friend was a "she" and that they had been rescued..._ She had used the term so lightly, but with such a tormented look in her eye, which in turn made him curious as to whether or not her situation had been similar to his? If so, it was even more reason to take her with him.

They share the same views of life; neither wanted the "fate" that was forced upon them with their bodies holding the power of two of the dragons. They didn't want to be forced to follow a rotten destiny some god decided for them. They both wanted to live out their lives, without a master, without a "role" or "fate". The Brown Dragon was also a healer, and Jae-Ha had injured crewmates. Not to mention she was pretty cute. Jae-Ha smiled a little at that thought, remembering how startled she was when he started flirting with her. If those reasons weren't enough to bring her onto the boat, then he had no idea what would be.

The Captain was going to be so pleased with him when he brings the two new recruits onto the ship tomorrow. Jae-Ha licked his lips and smirked, muttering to himself with a low voice, a chuckle rumbling deep within his chest. "The handsome stranger and the little dove can't escape me forever." He would find them. Without a doubt. He encountered the Handsome Stranger again today-he _knows_ the man has some intel on his little dove friend. Jae-Ha was good at reading emotions, no matter how well you were at hiding them, and it isn't common for a foreigner to come into town. Not only was it dangerous in general, but it was doubly so because of the foreigner being female. Another reason why Jae-Ha wanted her on the ship as soon as possible.

If she continued to travel with the group she was with who knows what might happen to her? No, no, Jae-Ha _can't_ let that happen to a blossoming rose. She looked quite thin as well-she must not be eating right. _Nobody can escape my charms,_ He thought with a grin, _and shelter with food has to be a done deal._ Perhaps her friend is foreign as well? If that's the case she-what did she say her name? Irene? Yes... _She must be quite brave venturing out by herself into the jungle where wild beasts roam. She's perfect for the crew._ The Captain would love her.

Jae-Ha became giddy with excitement-so giddy he knew it would take a while for him to go to sleep. On the bright side, he knew where his little dove was hiding. He was being cautious, he could sense _them_ around her. The Blue and White Dragons... his nerves were still on edge now despite being so far away. In the town, wandering about, he could feel the Yellow Dragon. It caused goosebumps to ride along his arms and he shuddered, ceasing his playing.

 _Let's not think of them now..._ He needed to find a good way to grab Irene without the other Dragons around. But the Blue Dragon seemed to be constantly around her, so how...? He definitely didn't want to pay them a visit, that's for sure, and he knew they wouldn't leave until they found him. But perhaps they will become bored and leave if he doesn't show himself? Jae-Ha cursed quietly. He didn't think of that. What if they leave with her and her friend before he can recruit them? Then all he will have left is the handsome, strong stranger. That would be no good. _I WILL find a way. Those three **will** be mine... even if I have to reveal myself to do so._

* * *

Hak shuddered and I sneezed just as I took a bite of the apple Yun had bought, barely turning my head in time to avoid poisoning the apple. A breeze blew by, Shin-Ah shivering in response to the cold and holding me closer, only to lower his head and take a bite when I lifted the still-clean apple up to his mouth. Yona hiccuped, looking quite surprised as she did so, and Kija shot up to run over to her in worry. "Princess, are you alright? You are not sick, are you? What about you, Irene? Are you still feeling ill from yesterday?" He had gotten halfway to Yona before he paused, looking back-and-forth conflicted. "Perhaps today was not enough rest for you..."

I sniffled and waved him off, swallowing once I had finished chewing. "I'm fine! What about you, Yona?" The gorgeous redhead blinked and looked at me, eyes wide for a moment before she smiled warmly.

"Oh, I'm feeling well, thank you-!" She hiccuped again, pressing a hand against her chest as her face contorted into that of pain. She blinked and shook her head again. "Oh my..."

Hak raised an eyebrow at her before lightly patting her on the back, Yona whining in response and swatting his hand away. "That's what happens when you eat too fast, Princess. You should slow down."

"I'm _fine_ , Hak! Really! Right, Yun?"

"I'm not in this; I'm eating my dinner, and then I'm going to sleep. But you should probably listen to Thunder Beast in this scenario, Yona. I don't think you want to end up like the stupid girl over there. She's so infatuated watching the Blue Dragon eat she can't even hear us!"

There was a moment of silence before I jolted, turning my head away from Blue nibbling on the apple I was holding up in order to look at Yun with wide eyes. "Wait, what? What happened?" I looked at them expectantly, utterly confused as to what was going on. Did they say my name or something? "What'd I miss?"

Kija let out a small groan as he buried his face in his claw, Yona going into a fit of giggles while Hak snorted. Yun just sighed at me, but the tiniest hint of an amused smile crawled onto his face as he shook his head. "My point is proven, Brown Dragon. Thank you."

"O-Oh, uh..." I knit my eyebrows together, not entirely sure what to say to that. "You're welcome...?"

"Just go back to eating your food."

I opened my mouth to respond, closing it, only to look down at the food I was holding. "Good idea. Which I _would_ do, you see, but as you can see Ao ate what was left of it." The squirrel squeaked and looked up at me with big, innocent eyes. I watched as she jumped off of my lap and onto the ground, rolling into the dirt before resting on her back with her belly up in the air. I stared for a while before smiling, giggling a little at her antics as I reached out to poke her belly with my index finger. She squeaked and coo'ed before rolling onto her feet and dashing over to Kija, the male wincing in surprise when the squirrel climbed up his leg, onto his shoulder, and jumped on his head.

 _She's so freaking cute,_ I thought, grinning widely, and snuggled closer against Shin-Ah's chest. He was so warm... and speaking of warm, I'm exhausted. I yawned loudly, nuzzling my face into his shoulder. I felt his fingers tuck some hair behind my ear, one arm wrapped protectively around my stomach. He planted a kiss on my forehead.

"I'm so tired... Good night, you guys..."

"Goodnight, Irene," Yona called sweetly, smiling from her spot beside her bodyguard.

"Night." Was his simple response. Kija reached up and pet Ao gently with his claw, careful not to harm her, and beamed.

"Goodnight, Irene! I hope you sleep well and have good dreams! Please, try and regain your strength."

"You barely even ate-oh, whatever. Good night. Just go to sleep." Yun grumbled, taking a bite out of his own fruit.

"Good night..." Shin-Ah whispered softly, so quietly no one else could hear. "I love you... Irene..."

My heart sped up a bit, and as they all spoke I felt a strange warmth and happiness flow through me. My eyes burned a little, though I wasn't entirely sure why, and I found myself smiling. "Goodnight, Yona, goodnight Hak, goodnight Kija, goodnight Yun, goodnight Shin-Ah," Ao squeaked indignantly, broadening my smile, "goodnight Ao." These people... jeez. Wh-Why... though? "G-Goodnight..." Why am I choking up at this? This isn't something to cry over. Right?

 _"People care about you, Ma'am."_

The voice echoed in my head once more, breaking me into pieces, and as I hid my face I tried to think of all the reasons why. Unfortunately, nothing I thought of made sense, and I fell asleep wondering why it was like this. Being friends with people wasn't enough to make someone cry, so...

Why was saying "goodnight" to these six so emotional?

 **Soo... I have mixed feelings about this. Kind of. Mainly about Shin-Ah's PoV. Ah, I'm always worried about the way I write Shin-Ah, so I guess that isn't important. XD I think I wrote Jae-Ha okay. Sorry for taking so long, but uh... Merry Christmas! Also, Happy Birthday to Jhendoe! (Gets hugs from the Four Dragon Warriors, Yun, Hak, and Yona)**

 **Also not entirely sure where I should end this chapter; I've just been getting blocks on this one all over the place. Haha. Kinda what made me put in Jae-Ha's PoV in the first place.**

 **Welp, Read and review! :)**


	19. One's Regrets

**So... this chapter was a bit difficult to write, hence why it's so late. T_T I wasn't entirely sure how to word it and how to end it. I just know what I wanted to happened. So I'm greatly sorry for how horrible this one is. T_T I tried my best. Read and review? (Hopeful grin)**

Everyone had vanished once again, for by the time I had woken up they were all gone. I was planning on sneaking back into the village today with Hak in order to help him locate the Green Dragon, but I guess even he didn't trust me enough to go off on my own again so soon. Well, it wasn't really a matter of _trust_ more as it was a matter of safety, as he himself had mentioned that it was dangerous for female foreigners to wander about. People would surely recognize me, if not by my face than by my attire, and I would probably be sent into some horrifying slave trade.

The thought sent terrified goosebumps down along my skin and I shivered, curling closer to Blue as he held me tight in his lap. He was stubborn as always and seemed even more reluctant to release me than usual; a thought I found strange before pinning it on the fact I had gotten attacked and that probably launched an ambush on his insecurities about being unable to protect me. My shoes having been discarded, I finding being barefoot much more comfortable after having wandered without protection for my feet for so long, I pulled at the grass with my toes, digging them into the dirt before yanking the green strands out of the ground.

I was leaning against Blue in just the right position that my head rested directly over his heart, so I could hear the comforting _Ba-Dump Ba-Dump_ within his chest. I thought about our relationship, what his thought process probably was, and if what I was doing really could be considered taking advantage of him. He's never had a friend before I arrived into his life, so I knew for a fact he's never been in a relationship or been even remotely intimate with anyone, but he was the one starting all the actions. I kissed Ao's forehead, he started kissing mine, and without much thought I began to do the same to him. And, while I hadn't thought much about it, the actions being so natural as breathing to me whenever I was with him, I had constantly fought against myself to not do more so not to corrupt or harm him. And yet, even though my reaction after kissing him the one time had been so clear that I wanted to apologize and take it all back, he continued. Was it because he had no experience and thought it was a normal thing to do, or was it because he knew more than I thought he did?

I let out a groan, leaning my head back and staring up at the innocent bluenette behind me. He looked down at me, blinking those beautiful golden orbs in curiosity. He always looked so expressionless when he had the mask on, but when he takes it off the amount of emotion in his eyes was almost overwhelming. It was just... enchanting. I found myself just staring, mesmerized by the emotion, and had gotten so lost in them that when he leaned down and suddenly pressed his lips to mine it startled me.

While a surge of warmth bloomed inside my chest, I also felt the painful stab of guilt. Was I doing something wrong? Am I truly being cruel? I wished the Brown Dragon had the ability to read minds rather than heal, for then I could at least know what it was that went on in his brain. I reached up and poked his cheek, causing him to just stare blankly at me with the slightest hints of amusement shining in those golden orbs of his. I then cupped the cheek I poked, once again wondering if this truly was a mistake. How terrible a person would I be... if I went along with what I wanted? If I let myself keep going on with this... relationship? Is this even a relationship? What if this was just some dysfunctional relationship, but I'm so blinded by everything that I just can't see it? I wanted to believe he felt the same, but knowing about him and his past made me hesitant for the sheer fact that he's never had _anyone in his life_ until recently as either friend or family.

Shin-Ah loosened his hold, allowing me to turn around and sit on my knees so I could face him, and I placed my hands on both sides of his face. _Would it... be wrong of me... if I let this continue?_ Though the smile did not show on his face, it was clear in his eyes he was happy. Even the way he held himself expressed his joy. Shin-Ah leaned down, nuzzling the palm of my hand, and not wanting him to see the tears that were threatening to form and burn my eyes I moved closer and hugged him, sliding my arms around his neck as he wrapped his own around my waist.

Thinking back on it... while we were close, we've always been very physically intimate, haven't we? It's... terrifying to think about, honestly. It's even more terrifying trying to think back to the time where Shin-Ah _wasn't_ constantly by my side. Back when I didn't know Kija or Yona or Yun or... Hak. My hold on Shin-Ah loosened as I thought about last night and how I had teared up at the simple "goodnight". I mean, yeah we're friends, but... was that really a reason to cry? Hak and I aren't hating on each other anymore, Kija and I are getting along better, and Yun is... well, he's scary, but he isn't unapproachable. And Yona's a total sweetheart-granted she's a sweetheart who isn't afraid to bloody her hands.

I buried my face into the curve of Shin-Ah's neck, inhaling the comforting and familiar scent, when my eyes shot open-the feeling of something hard striking me in my skull and bringing me to full alert. Oddly enough, when my eyes opened and I pulled away from Blue, what I saw in front of me wasn't him, but instead a scene of blood and violence.

...

A small grin crossed his face as he brought a hand up to the gaping wound on his skull, blood trailing thickly from the injury and down his hand, seeping between his fingers. He kept his eyes trained firmly at the sight in front of him, watching as soldiers busted into the house and attack the innocent family. The woman screamed, and the father forced the kid into hiding not long before he got hurt himself. _Please hurry, Ma'am,_ the hooded blond thought, vision clearing as the wound healed at exceptional speed. He relayed the directions in his head, praying that the bond between them not only as dragons, but as brother and sister would help get this to her. _I'm incompetent, so I can't help... but I know you can._ She whose golden scales had rusted in selfless grief... had been blessed with with the power of life. The power to heal others. But he, the selfish dragon, who remained just as bright as the sun could heal only himself. _Dragon God Ma'am... please get here soon._

For extra measure, just to make sure the message was delivered, the teen brought his hand up to his mouth and bit down on his thumb as hard as possible, digging his fangs into the flesh and tearing into it. As the wound healed yellow scales formed in their place, and the boy spat out all the blood that entered his mouth before he quickly dived to hide when another soldier showed up.

...

"...!" Shin-Ah was more than surprised when I suddenly went limp in his hold, my head throbbing intensely with a searing pain spreading from my right thumb up to my wrist. I was breathing heavily, trying to make sense of the vision I had seen. I knew for a fact I was hallucinating; I was getting better at detecting the other Dragons and the occasional emotions leaking through the bond, but this... this was stronger. Much stronger. _Brother..._ I found myself calling the Yellow Dragon that, no longer arguing over whether I had relations with the Dragons or not. It was just a natural thought whenever he came up into mind.

But this wasn't just mere emotion; this was a warning. Something horrible was happening. In town there was...

I felt like throwing up. Without giving an explanation I pulled away from Shin-Ah and stood, quickly making my way to the edge of the campsite, but before I could start heading down the hill a weight tackled me and I was sent toppling forward, arms around my waist with Shin-Ah's face buried in my lower back. I yelped, crying out and screaming when we were sent rolling down the hill. Luckily, or rather unfortunately, our descent was stopped by a rather big tree placed in the direction we were heading, Shin-Ah ending up being the one to have his back hit against the trunk. I slammed face-first into his chest, the male letting out a pained grunt from being hit from both sides, but it didn't take long for gravity to knock us onto the ground with his heavy body crushing mine.

I groaned, squirming and trying to escape, only to freeze when I felt a sickly warmth trailing down my legs. I hated the women products of this era-they were flimsy and didn't absorb a whole lot, and were highly uncomfortable to wear. It also turned out that walking and/or running was a bad idea, because it would shift so much that blood would escape and leak down your leg anyway. I had to take a another bath today because of it and now it was leaking _again_. Ugh.

While I knew the blood didn't really bother Shin-Ah, it still bothered me and I squirmed and wriggled in order to get out from under him. It didn't work that well seeing as he had me pinned, but I had at least managed to pull my hands out and place them on his shoulders. I wheezed, breathing heavily, and gave him an exasperated look. He just looked at me, expression telling me he had absolutely no intention of moving. He seemed quite content crushing me like he was. "Y-You're... suffocating me," I gasped, breathless. "B-Blue-!" He lifted himself up a little, but didn't get off. He was literally sitting on me, straddling my hips, and when I tried to move he grabbed my wrists and pinned them down. I looked up at him with wide eyes, alarmed. "B-Blue?"

"..."

"C-Can you get off of me, please?" Oh god, my voice cracked. Um. Okay. I know Yun told him not to let me leave, but this was a bit excessive... wasn't it? I could feel my heart hammering loudly in my chest, more than a little flustered by the situation at hand. "I-I-" A thought hit me, brain struggling to work, and I exclaimed, "Your back! Are you okay!?" He blinked. "It hit the tree, right? Let me see!" Oh god, he's going to have a major bruise, isn't he?

Shin-Ah cautiously released my wrists, bringing a hand up to his kimono hesitantly and pausing. Was... Was he not going to get off? Oh please tell me he's not-My eyes widened when he started to pull the leather kimono off while still straddling me, undoing the sash around his waist. My face was probably a vibrant red as he pulled off the wrapping around his arms and untucked his shirt, pulling the navy fabric over his head and rendering himself shirtless. _Nope, nope, nope, not doing this, nope-_ I squeezed my eyes shut and looked away, biting the inside of my cheek as hard as I possibly could. H-He really doesn't understand social interaction, does he? "...Irene?"

I just wanted him to get off and turn around so I could try and activate my ability in order to see if he was injured or not. But nope. Nope. He just started _stripping_ while sitting on me. My poor heart can't take this, oh my god. Why. Why? Shin-Ah, Blue, lovely, you beautiful man, _why?_ A hand cupping my cheek made me tense, my eyes opening and looking at him. I went completely still when I saw how close he was, the heat radiating off of his body like crazy and hitting mine. For someone so susceptible to the cold he certainly gave off a lot of warmth. _S-So close..._ His face was just inches away. My fingers twitched, a thought of wrapping my hands behind his head and pulling him down entering my mind, but I fought against it and choked, "C-Can I get up so I can actually _look_ at your back?" He blinked, eyes widening in surprise. I tried not to smile at how cute he was, knowing that he probably didn't think that he would actually have to get off of me in order for me to look at his back.

He was clearly reluctant. "You... You can't... leave..."

"Fine, fine." I agreed, though I was still going to try and run off once I was done. I had a very bad feeling that something was happening in the town and honestly, I feel like the Yellow Dragon was trying to tell me to help stop it. I relaxed when Shin-Ah stood, kneeling down beside me, and I sat up. He stiffened when I placed a hand on his bare shoulder, looking at his rather, uh, nicely defined back. I know he practiced his swordsmanship everyday, but... _damn_. How can such a cinnamon roll be so... so... _agh,_ I can't even say it.

Taking a bit of pleasure in his shiver as I dragged my fingers lightly down his back to the blossoming bruise I bit back a smile, though I frowned when I thought about how the bruise was my fault. Maybe I should have told him I was going to run off first before actually doing it...? We might not have fallen down the hill then. Lights formed, bright and glimmering, but I had to focus in order to actually _see_ inside. I placed my hand directly over the wound, locking our souls in place, and felt Shin-Ah stiffen when I did. I was grateful that he didn't fight it this time, even if he hated me doing this. I forced the injured blood vessels to return to normal, pulling everything into their rightful place, and winced as I felt a sharp pain grow on my own back while the giant bruise on his vanished.

When it was completely gone and I knew the bruise was on my back now I released him, both of us giving a small gasp as I did so. I only felt a little drained and, while I knew I shouldn't, I couldn't help but move and slide my arms around his shoulders, pressing a small kiss to his neck. I could feel the muscles in his back and shoulders tense, the male inhaling sharply as his ears blossomed into a red, and I grinned. Then I paused, realizing what I was doing, and pulled away quickly. _Stop it, stop it, stop it._ I smushed my face together with my hands, debating whether or not to smack myself, and berated myself violently in my head. _He. Doesn't. Get it. Irene, you can't._ No matter how great the temptation is, you can _not_ touch him. Okay?

N-Now, stand and make your way down that hill before Shin-Ah snaps out of-

Arms wrapping around me made my thoughts come to a halt. I blinked, unmoving as he pulled away and cupped my face with his hands. A light pink was dusting his cheeks, the male biting his bottom lip. My eyes flickered downwards seeing the action and I had to force myself to look at his eyes, breathing becoming a little uneven. I swallowed thickly, mouth a bit dry, and knew if I didn't do something soon Shin-Ah was going to try and kiss me again. I can't corrupt him more he already is; I need to preserve his innocence. He has no idea what it is he's getting into. He's going to get into this, but then he's going to meet who it actually is he's supposed to marry and hate me for doing this to him. He doesn't actually... _view_ me in that sort of way; he hasn't had enough interaction with other people yet, that's all. He's a baby blue bird just sprouting its wings. A-As much as I...

As much as I _want_ him I can't have him. Not now. I'm just a person displaced in time, not really meant to be here, not meant to be with him. I'm taking advantage of him. But I also need an out... otherwise I won't ever be able to make it to the village. Who knows how much time I had already wasted? I _need_ to leave, but... but he won't let me. Unless I can shock him or... or _stun_ him I won't be able to escape. His best trait was also his worst flaw; Shin-Ah was loyal. He would follow Yun to the far depths of the earth if it meant it would keep me here in the campsite. He was the most obedient yet stubborn person I have ever had the pleasure to know. But... that could sometimes be a bad thing. So how do I keep him here? _Talking him into letting me go would take too long..._

Maybe I could... I closed my eyes, resisting the urge to sigh. That idea would be going against what I had just been yelling at myself for doing, wouldn't it? Alright, you know what? If it doesn't shock him it might just leave him breathless and befuddled. He gets a bit slow when he's confused, so...

 _I'm so sorry for this._ I took the initiative this time, leaning forward and pressing my lips to his in a rather messy and embarrassed kiss. His surprise didn't last long, the bluenette eagerly reciprocating the show of affection and kissing back. I could have jumped off the edge and temporarily injured myself, but Blue would follow and there'd be no way he'd survive it. It wasn't like I hadn't sinned enough already; what's another to pile up onto what I've already made into a mountain here? One sin after another, all eventually going to grow into a darkness that would cause him to hate me forever. But this was something I needed to do.

In that vision the Yellow Dragon gave me I saw a child. If that child was hurt...

I pushed Blue back, the male letting out a grunt in surprise with his face turning a bright red when I forcefully deepened the kiss. I don't want to hurt him; I don't want to take advantage of him. B-But I... I don't know what else to do. I ran my tongue over his, causing him to shiver, and he gasped when I pulled away to let him get air. He was red all over-from neck to ears, and he squirmed a little when I pressed a small kiss to his neck and bit down lightly, sucking on the skin. "I... Irene...!" His fingers dug into the back of my kimono, breathing heavily as he squeezed his eyes shut.

In a sick, twisted form of satisfaction I took pleasure in seeing him like this. I felt like a horrible person, I _knew_ I was horrible person, but... damn it, he looked so cute like this. I can feel his heart racing from within his chest. I pressed a kiss to his collarbone, then on his neck beside his ear, before leaving another lovebite on his jawline when I pulled away. My eyes were burning as I looked down at him, feeling a bit breathless and heated myself, but I needed him off guard in order to escape. Shin-Ah would be able to stop me otherwise. "I'm sorry, Blue..." I choked, and his eyes opened as he looked at me with glazed eyes. He was really out of it, wasn't he? "But I won't forgive you if you follow me."

Without giving him a chance to respond I shot up and ran as fast as I possibly could, not daring to look back. I was pushing it; I knew I was. But I was _not_ going to let a little kid die. E-Even... even if it meant Blue h-hating me I... I won't... _I'm so sorry._ But if doing that had gotten rid of any kind of attachment to me, then... so be it. I've been a terrible friend to you. I've done nothing but hurt you and upset you and scare you... so just push me away. _Please._ I-I can't... do this. I want to hug you and kiss you and hold you, but I _can't_ because you don't _know_. You're naive and innocent and I'm the monster taking advantage of you. Just let me go.

My run slowed down, the link telling me he wasn't following, and I wheezed and leaned again one of the buildings that signified the entrance to the town. "I-I'm so sorry..." I bit out, knowing full well he couldn't hear. I hiccuped and brought a hand up to my face, squeezing my burning eyes shut, and choked back a sob. _You deserve so much better than me; I'm so sorry._ Just let go of me. I know my indecisiveness is painful to you. My mood swings, my constant tears, my fear... Just let me _go._

I took a deep, shaky breath and hiccuped, sniffling painfully, and knit my eyebrows together and I faced the entrance of the town. I wondered if Blue saw that breakdown just then, what he might have thought of it, before pushing him out of my mind best as I could despite the crushing weight on my heart. My back hurt, too, but the pain was considerably lesser now. My healing seemed to be getting faster... oh god, my head hurt. I've been crying way too much-so freaking dehydrated right now.

I forced myself to enter the town, using the map inside my head best as I could, but I kept a hand over my mouth as I recalled what I had done to Shin-Ah. I'm the disgusting beast here... not him. Never him. My actions today just proved it further. I bit down on the palm of my hand, fangs digging into the flesh, and my heart wavered. _Maybe I should run away..._ I could heal the kid and run away. Far, far away. That would be nice... wouldn't it? It would help Shin-Ah to become detached from me.

God, I felt so cold. It was uncomfortable and scary not having him by my side; my fingers were twitching like crazy, needing something-no, _someone_ to cling onto. He was always there; always with me. My lovely Blue...

I kept my head down low, bangs covering both sides of my face as I walked in order to hide my appearance. While they might recognize my clothes, as long as they didn't recognize my face I should be good. I shifted a little, cloth-pad scratching the skin of my thighs, and I reached down to brush at the blood on my leg with the cloth of the dress. With any luck people would probably think it was from an injury. Funnily enough, as I walked through the town, I noticed something off. There was a lot less people than before, and even fewer females, but all their expressions were forced. Their eyes were dead, their smiles strained, and some of the older people hushed children and pushed them behind them and into houses, trying to make them hide.

I was confused for only moment until I rounded a corner, freezing at the sight of two soldiers. They were talking irritably with one another, thankfully having not noticed me, but all I could think of at that moment was what Hak had said. If I was found... oh god, if I was _found_ then-

Memories of Ko-Ji and the words Hak had spoken when he forced me into hiding with him the first day here in the Port Town resounded in my head, making my blood run cold and my body go completely still until my survival instincts decided to finally kick in. Finding a thin alleyway I ducked behind a barrel and crawled into the alley, peering nervously out before moving out of sight as the soldiers walked past. I watched them as they moved, holding my breath in fear of being found. My eyes widened in horror when they stopped, believing they had found me, but instead they just started to harass the poor fisherman who was trying to sell his catches. They demanded discounts, declaring that because they "worked so hard protecting the town" that they should actually get stuff free.

 _They call that "protecting the town"!?_ Irritation and anger boiled up inside of me, seeing how they were treating that poor man. _They're harassing it and it's people!_ My fingers twitched, the urge to strangle those soldiers coming into mind, but before I could actually do anything a hand latched onto the back of my collar with another one clamping over my mouth. Oddly enough, instead of panicking, I found myself being willingly dragged along down the alley. I felt... peaceful. When the hand had touched me all the stress I had felt went away instantly. An odd sense of calm... like all my worries were washed away into the sea. For the first time in forever, I felt tranquil. Sane. This person... This person that was guiding me by my hand now was someone I had been waiting to see for the longest time, even if I had never realized I was. _Brother..._

My brother. My beautiful golden brother. He's here... A-After so long... After everything I did...

"This way, Ma'am," The stranger said softly, tugging on my hand and guiding me along. "He doesn't have much time." I didn't bother questioning, my mind a mess with both my thoughts and ones that seemed to come out of nowhere. All I really knew at this moment of time was this person was the Yellow Dragon and, for some reason, he felt extremely important to me. My "brother". He wore a brown cloak, covering his person, but I could make out strands of beautiful blond hair as we ran. I felt this overwhelming sadness as I clung to his hand, a pain like that felt as if it had been formed over a thousand years drifting onto my shoulders and pressuring down onto my chest. I felt as though I knew this person from somewhere-not because of him being the Yellow Dragon, but that I have actually _seen_ him somewhere before. But... from where?

Suddenly we stopped, the sounds of people crying hitting my ears as we neared a house. The boy released my hand and faced me, looking at me with ancient blue eyes and the warmest of smiles. Strands of messy blond hair fell into his face, an occasional leaf or two sticking out from the golden mess. He was probably only two to three inches taller than me. I blinked when he reached a hand out, brushing the bangs out of my face and tracing the dragon design lightly with his fingers.

"We will meet again, Brown Dragon Ma'am. But this time, under happier circumstances. This one's job was to guide you here and his job is done, so... please be kind?" He gave me a parting smile before pulling the hood farther down his face and over his eyes, turning around quickly and sprinting away. As he left, it felt like a part of me had went with him-a strange yet familiar gap forming inside my chest. The tranquility and peace I had felt vanquished and I was left standing in lone silence, an emptiness I had long since pushed away reminding me of its presence. It was only the cries of the family that snapped me out of it, reminding me what it was I came into town to do.

I moved and knocked hesitantly on the door, flinching when a woman screamed at me to go away from inside the house and that she was sorry. I hesitated, almost pulling away, but something inside me convinced me to push the door open and walk in. I needed to help this family.

But, even though I thought that, nothing could have braced me for the horrifying sight that greeted me as I looked in.

Broken shards of glass cracked beneath my foot, cutting and digging into the flesh, and I winced as I stepped farther into the house. Debris was everywhere-vases broken, tables and chairs overturned with broken legs, wallpaper and curtains torn... Whoever did this even went so far as to rip candleholders off the columns. Yet, the most heartbreaking thing, was the couple in the middle of all this mess, kneeling on the ground with a bleeding, unconscious child laying on a woman's lap. His chest was barely moving. The woman barely cast me a glance, hiccuping and holding the child closer, and the man cried silent as he held onto his son's hand.

"H-He hit him," The man choked. The father sported multiple bruises, blood trailing down his chin from a busted lip, and his, the woman's, and child's chests were all shining in brilliant gold. "H-He hit the officer back a-and now... now he won't move anymore..."

I didn't care if shards of glass were embedded into my feet. I didn't care I was injured or what I had done anymore. Right now I was _furious_. No one-and I repeat _no one-_ harms an innocent child. This was murder. Cold blood murder. My fingers flexed and I dug my nails into the palms of my hand, rage boiling inside ever so slowly as I thought about those men who had been harassing the merchant earlier. Everywhere. _Everywhere_ there were Ko-Ji's... e-even though I'm so far away from the caves... he's still haunting me. Them. _Everyone_.

There were no protests as I knelt deal beside the woman and in front of the child, reaching a hand out to his head where his wound was. Blood was pouring profusely, skull definitely cracked. It was difficult locating the child's soul, it being so dim and faint, but I managed to find and lock it in place. Time seemed to go still, my breathing hitching and the woman sobbing even harder as the child quit breathing entirely. He wasn't dead, certainly not, but he was fighting it. Fighting the healing process. Just like Kija and Shin-Ah had...

My eyes widened and my left eye burned, seeing into his body and viewing the damage to his skull. There was bleeding near and in his brain, along with some shattered skull fragments. I winced at the pounding that formed in my own skull as I forcibly pulled the skull fragments back together, latching the shattered pieces back into place and bringing the vessels to their original state. Things went black in my vision, my hearing failing, and I felt something akin to iron bubble up to my throat and touch my tongue. Once everything was back to how it should be, a feeling I had that just let me _know_ , I released the lock I had on his soul and gasped, turning my head and coughing into my shoulder.

The woman choked on her tears, her eyes widening when she saw the boy wheeze. He groaned, coughing, and he chest rose and fell faster and more naturally the more time passed by. He opened his eyes, mumbling something about not feeling good, and the mother screeched loudly before pulling him into a tight hug. I could barely make out what it was they were saying, vision and hearing fading in and out, and I clamped a hand over my mouth as I tried to stand. I wobbled, nearly toppling over, and stumbled over to a broken table. I leaned against, coughing and spitting out a crimson liquid. The father was down on his knees, hands on the floor, thanking me repeatedly with tears streaming down his face.

I wasn't paying much attention, a bit distracted from the feeling of my skull physically pulling itself back together. It was the grossest, most disturbing feeling. I felt the man grab my arm while I was still trying to regain my bearings, and I almost fell over. "-ame! A-At least... gi-... name!" He... what? Oh... name... I swallowed down the blood trying to bubble its way up my throat and choked,

"H-Haebinna!"

"S-Sunshine..." He breathed, a smile breaking out through teary eyes, and he released me. I could feel the White Dragon's presence get closer, Yona and him nearby, and as he fell to the ground and started to thank me again I dragged myself out of the building, practically falling to the dirt as I exited through the doors. I stumbled into the street, hacking blood up into my hand, and wobbled into a nearby alley. I could only imagine how furious Shin-Ah was right now at me, but he would have to deal with it. I wasn't going to let a small child die. He looked-what? Maybe six years old? We were going to have to have one heck of a talk when I get back...

I leaned against the wall for support, breathing heavily as the world threatened to fade into dark, but hearing the voices of my friends I knew I couldn't stay there. I had to move. God, why was... thinking... and breathing... so hard right now? My hearing had returned for the most part, but my right ear was ringing so loudly one would have thought I was standing directly next to an explosion.

"Don't be ridiculous!" I could hear Yun grumble, "There's no way Shin-Ah would let that stupid girl come out here again. He's too protective."

"I... suppose you're right," Kija reluctant agreed. "But still... What's the matter, Princess?"

"That house.."

"Didn't we already pass it-Princess!"

Pushing myself up with trembling legs I forced myself to step forward, lumbering into the middle of the street for all to see. Blood seeped through my fingers as I coughed, wheezing and hacking, and I swayed as I struggled to find another hiding place. _Shin-Ah..._ I had to-no. No, I can't. I should run. I should run as far as I could. B-But I... My legs gave out and I fell, collapsing into the dirt lifelessly. A bitter smile spread across my face as I felt the crimson liquid bubble out of my mouth and down my chin, wondering just how frightened Shin-Ah was at this moment. He always gets so scared when something happens to me... Blood trails were left everywhere I had been-covering the stone walls and on the ground from the glass still embedded into my feet. He must be having a freaking heart attack right now. _I really am sorry..._ I thought, closing my eyes as I thought about all I had done. I could feel myself drifting off, having expended too much energy healing the child and getting quite the injury in return for doing so. _There's absolutely... no reason why you should forgive me._

Such an idiot... since when was I such a reckless person? Being here really... is messing with me...

I was on the verge of dozing off when a heel dug itself into my back, pressing and twisting. I cried out, fingers digging into the dirt as pain exploded in my spine.

"Well, well, what do we have here? More merchandise?"

I was wide awake now, skull pounding viciously, and fear wormed its way into my heart. _M-Merchandise!? What!?_ O-Oh no... please say I'm wrong. Anyone who was watching the scene quietly escaped into the safety of their houses, refusing to intervene or get brought into the mess. It was as if they had seen this situation before and the consequences that came with it. And, if the event with their parents and child were anything to go by, they most certainly had. I turned my head to see who exactly was digging their hell into my spine and gave the person my best frown. "C-Can you get off please?" I stretched my arm out uncomfortably, whacking his foot with my hand. "This kimono isn't mine; I don't to get it any dirtier."

Someone didn't seem to like my response, for he brought his foot up and rammed it right back down into my spine, eliciting a yell from me at the sharp pain."Now, now, is that any way a... _foreigner_ should speak? You're in Kouka now, which means I don't even have to pay for your services, am I right?" W-Wait... what? Services? Um. _Hell no. Get off!_ Kicking my legs back I twisted my upper body as quickly as I could, startling the man and causing him to become unbalanced. "Whoa!"

"Haha!" I'm not completely pathetic! O-Oh god... I swayed, nausea washing over, and I nearly threw up then and there. I clamped a hand over my mouth and my other arm around my stomach, trying to keep the bile and blood both down as I fumbled to run away. I shoved myself up onto my feet, breaking out into a run, and nearly fell over as the world started to spin. Unfortunately, due to my current state, the guy caught up quite fast and before I knew it was being shoved against a wall, head slamming against concrete as my hair was yanked roughly.

"You little _bitch-!_ " I cried out in pain, the pounding in my skull getting louder and louder and more excruciating by the moment. My whole body hurt. Tears welled up in my eyes when I realized I wouldn't be able to get out of this situation. I cursed myself when I told Shin-Ah to stay away; I sealed my fate when I saved that child. Consequences of my actions... A scream welled up in my throat when I felt him tearing away at the sash around my waist, keeping me pinned against the stone wall with his arm. I kicked, twisting my leg and trying to knock him away, but he simply responded with another headslam into the wall. Blood poured down my skull at this point, trickling down my face, and I whimpered.

I take back everything. I'm scared. I-I'm really scared. I-I know I said I wouldn't forgive you, but you should know me well enough to tell that I was lying; _Shin-Ah-!_ Please, oh god, please, _somebody-!_ I know I'm a horrible person, but I-I-!

He yanked at the vest, pulling my dress up, but I had no strength left in my body to fight back. I was too disoriented-spots coated my vision, sirens sounded in my ears, all I could feel was _pain_. Needles piercing my body from every angle. I was completely petrified. I couldn't breathe, I couldn't move; it felt like time was frozen as the man started to undo the sash keeping his pants held up. Then, out of nowhere, the man's hold on me vanished and I crumpled to the ground, sobbing and hiccuping and curling into a ball as I cradled my head in my hands. _Sh-Shin-Ah,_ where is Shin-Ah? I-I want-I want Sh-Shin-Ah... _Blue..._ give me back my Blue. I want my Blue. Give me Blue...

I felt something akin to cloth drape over me and next thing I knew I was being lifted. I wanted to scream, I wanted to run, but my limbs wouldn't move and something inside me whispered that I was safe in the arms of the one who was carrying me. "Disgusting creatures," Jae-Ha growled, "trying to take a dove's innocence without her consent... People like them should turn to dust and be reincarnated into thorny roses. Don't you agree... my little flower?"

 _Green Dragon..._

H-He's not... He's not... who I wanted... to see...

My eyes rolled into the back of my head and, like any other normal person in that situation, I fainted.


	20. Small preview for CH 20

**Just a small preview to show that I HAVE been working on it. I've just been having a bit of trouble with the beginning for Shin-Ah's point of view. XD Feel free to give input and ideas if you wish. I may just incorporate some of them into the chapter. :3**

Nobody really knew how to react when they were making their way back to the campsite. There had been screams, people running past Yona and the gang in terror as if trying to escape from something, and when they went to investigate they were more than a little surprised-and horrified-by what they had saw. Standing there, sword hanging by his side, held tightly in his grasp, was Shin-Ah. His mask covered his face, only the deep and angry frown visible upon his lips, and his leather kimono was completely coated in the blood of the men laying on the ground.

Men... that had been the same ones who had been harassing the villagers. But what was Shin-Ah doing there? Why... did he kill them? A good six people were laying on the ground, bleeding out, and some were even missing limbs. Others looks as if they had been cleanly sliced in half before being brutally stabbed multiple times. One man looked especially mutilated-as if Shin-Ah had took special care into delivering more than just a one-hit kill.

Yona stared, her amythest eyes wide, and as she stepped forward Hak quickly shot an arm out to stop her, blue eyes narrowing into a glare when he watched Shin-Ah snap his head up to stare at them. Though they could not be seen, they were all aware of the golden eyes staring into them- _through_ them-from behind the mask. Yona opened her mouth to protest to Hak's actions, but closed it upon seeing the thoughtful and serious expression he was wearing. Yun was completely stunned.

"B-Blue Dragon..." The young boy choked up, not entirely sure how to react to the situation. "Wh-What the hell did you do...?"

Kija looked the most horrified. He couldn't even speak. His blue eyes were as big a dinner-plates, no sound escaping as he could only stare.

Making sure Yona stayed behind him as he took a step forward, Hak demanded, "Where's the Brown Dragon?"

"..." Shin-Ah tilted his head, turning away, before raising his sword and stabbing the corpse that had been most-badly maimed. "This person... touched her."

Hak's eyebrows knit together, whereas Yona paled. "Touched her?" The Thunder Beast echoed. Shin-Ah said nothing, merely twisting the sword as his lips began to curl back, baring his fangs in a snarl. "Shin-Ah... where is she right now?"

"..." Lifting his head up he gazed at them-no, _past_ them. Into the distance, staring at the sea. Yun followed his gaze, attempting to repress his shivers from seeing such a cold and bloody murder scene. He always knew Shin-Ah was overprotective of the clumsy Brown Dragon, but it wasn't until now that Yun realized just how _far_ Shin-Ah was willing to go for her. It was... terrifying, but also impressive. Yun felt a bit scared, wondering if Shin-Ah's loyalty to Irene was so great that if he would go out of his way to cut him _and_ the rest of the group down if they deliberately harmed her. The boy genius stared out into the distance, wondering what Shin-Ah could possibly be looking out. There were all the buildings surrounding them, people slamming doors shut and covering their windows with curtains, and the great big sea just beyond the port-

"The sea!?" Yun gasped, blinking in realization as he turned to look at Shin-Ah with wide eyes. Irene was at _sea_? The White Dragon seemed to have reached this conclusion as well. He understood Shin-Ah's reaction, as if something happened to Princess Yona he believed he himself and Hak would go just as crazy, but it didn't mean the sight from someone as sweet as Shin-Ah wasn't frightening.

"Wh-What is she doing on the sea!?" Kija choked out. He finally regained his voice, though it cracked underneath the pressure of the atmosphere.

Shin-Ah just lowered his head, seeming to glare at the corpse he was digging his blade into, before muttering so softly they almost didn't hear, "Green Dragon..."

Yona pushed Hak out of the way, ignoring his stern stare, and took a few steps towards Shin-Ah. He didn't seem to notice. It was almost as if the Blue Dragon had a personal vendetta against the man he was still harming after death. "Shin-Ah... what does the Green Dragon have to do with this? Why... did you kill these men? What do you mean he "touched" Irene?" She watched as his lips curled back, baring his fangs as he shook his head roughly and snapped,

"He _touched_ her!"

She recoiled, and everyone seemed startled by his sudden raise of the voice. He choked up, shoulders tensing as he lowered his head, the male holding his sword so tightly in his grip that his hands were trembling as he fell down to one knee. Everyone was certain that if they could see the upper half of his face, his eyes would be squeezed shut. They've never seen this side of him before, never seeing him break down and only ever seeing him angry due to protectiveness. They've never seen Shin-Ah _broken_.

"H-He... He touched her... a-and..." He shook his head, not knowing how to put his feelings into words. How was he supposed to explain what happened? "I-Irene..." She's going to hate him. She told him not to follow and he did, and if she ever finds out she won't want to be with him anymore. He was going to listen, he really was, he didn't want to lose her... but then _this man_ hurt her a-and... tried to do _something_ to her by tearing her clothes off, and Shin-Ah found he really didn't like that. Irene didn't like being seen with her clothes off-whenever Shin-Ah tried to check her for injuries her face would always turn red and she'd push him away. So why would she like someone else seeing her like that?

He would never tell her, but sometimes while she was bathing back in the caves intruders would sneak in and after getting rid of them he would make his way back to guarding the entrance. It wasn't his fault he could see through walls-his mask only covered the distance of which he could see. It did nothing for what was right in front of him. He didn't understand _why_ she got so upset about it, but then again Shin-Ah didn't understand a lot of things. Unlike him, Irene was smart. She tried to teach him things. Etiquette being one of them, but he still had trouble understanding it...

But the one thing he _did_ know is that Irene cried a lot. Whether she was happy or upset, tears seemed to come to her as naturally as breathing. He didn't mind it when it's because she's happy, but when she's hurting...

The girl was so much weaker than him. So fragile, _reckless._ He wanted to protect her, to keep protecting her. To hold her in his arms where she'd be safe. It was a funny thought as he always used to think being with him was the most dangerous thing, but now he's come to the conclusion that being away from him was dangerous. She could barely defend herself and... despite that... she tries to do things on her own. Stubborn. A-And now...

Shin-Ah was nearly hugging his sword, hovering over the mutilated body as the tears silently feel, only the occasional strangled sob forcing its way out of the back of his throat. He doesn't even know _why_ he wasn't able to stop her escape-one minute she was hugging him and the next... the next... he wasn't even sure how to describe it. They had fallen and she asked to see the bruise on his back. He reluctantly complied as she never listened to him and then... heat. So much heat. Shin-Ah had felt like his whole body was fire, his heart trying to burst its way out of his chest as her hands ran down his arms, his her lips over his and then ghosting across his neck. It was a strange, intense, overwhelming feeling of... of...

He couldn't think of the word to describe it. "Good-ness"? "Warmth"? He felt it would be uncomfortable to ask. All he knew was that he could only squirm beneath her fiery touch. It was hard to think when she kissed him like that-he's never _been_ kissed like that. Was that considered a kiss? Shin-Ah's crying slowly died down, his reflection on previous events calming him down and bringing him to mixture of confusion and a warmth boiling below his belly. The memories of the situation, her pinning him down, _ravishing_ him...

Shin-Ah blinked from behind the mask, certain his face and ears were just as red as the blood covering him. _Ah._ His eyes trailed down the body his sword was embedded in. Feeling a sick pleasure- _that's the word... for the feeling... -_ he twisted the blade. He wished the man was still alive, then he could kill him again instead of just tearing him apart. _No one_ touches Irene. _No one_ makes her hurt. She's his. She's his just as he's hers. Irene said so. In this world of kill or be killed, Shin-Ah will kill if it prevents her from being killed.

"Green Dragon... took her." He murmured, pushing himself up after regaining his composure. He pulled his sword out of the corpse and spun it, swinging the blade in the air causing the blood to fly off. Shin-Ah, as if in a trance, started to walk towards the group-his gaze locked intently on the sea, on the boat, inside the room where his companion resided. Her clothes torn, her eyes closed, a bandage on her forehead. His Irene...

An arm reached out and stopped him, a hand pressing against his chest. Dark blue orbs stared at him intently, understanding in Hak's eyes as he looked down at him. "We'll get her back," He promised. His expression was stern as he continued to speak. "So don't act rashly. Do you know what the Green Dragon looks like?"

"..." Shin-Ah lowered his head again, quiet for a long while, before finally nodding. "He... has grass hair..."

Hak blinked. "As in... the color?" The Thunder Beast recalls bumping into a certain creep with that hair color. It was highly unusual, but Hak was so used to weirdos that he just didn't think about it. Shin-Ah gave another nod. Hak let out a small curse. "Damn it. I know who it is." Everyone looked surprised at that. Shin-Ah's head shot up abruptly, his mask just making his stare even more intense and unnerving. Hak reached a hand up and ruffled his hair, scowling. He _knew_ something was fishy about that guy-especially when he started to ask questions about foreigners. "I've met him before. I didn't think about it, but now I see how stupid I was. Princess, Yun, go back to camp. Kija, Shin-Ah, and I will go looking for him."

"E-Eh?" Yun stammered, alarmed. "B-But the Blue Dragon is-"

"Worried." Hak interrupted. His eyes flickered to the redhaired princess staring at him curiously, her head tilted to the side cutely. He looked back at Yun. "Shin-Ah is worried." Nobody decided to comment on that being the first time Hak truly addressed Shin-Ah by name, normally just calling the Dragons by their titles. The Blue Dragon being worried about the one person he cares most deeply about... is something the Thunder Beast can understand. If someone had harmed Yona, Hak would have gone just as berserk or even worse. "Now let's go." He turned, slapping the stunned masked man on the back, and started to walk away.

Shin-Ah did as told and moved forward, but it wasn't to follow. No-to Hak's utter shock Shin-Ah dashed up to him and wrapped his arms tightly around him, burying his face into the back of his neck. "...Th-Thank you." It was quiet, so quiet only Hak could hear it. But as soon as Shin-Ah's arms were around him they were suddenly gone, instead choosing to just cling onto the Thunder Beast's arm in a similar fashion to the way Irene always did to him. Hak gave Shin-Ah a strange stare, raising an eyebrow, and Kija had his hands up to cover his gaping mouth.

And then _Kija_ was hugging Shin-Ah, seeming to no longer care about the blood coating his friend's body. "It's okay, little brother! Big Brother and the Thunder Beast are going to find the Brown Dragon!" Shin-Ah didn't seem to know how to react to Kija rubbing his face against his, but accepted the show of affection nonetheless. Kija didn't notice how the Blue Dragon's shoulders tensed up, but he _did_ feel Shin-Ah gradually relax. "We'll be a family again soon! And then, after we recruit him, we're going to give the Green Dragon a piece of our minds for taking Irene without permission!"

Lips slight parted in surprise, neither one was prepared for the tiniest of smiles that spread across his lips.

Kija and Hak both decided then and there that Shin-Ah's rare, innocent smile was something pure and needed to be protected from the world.


	21. Retribution

**Some of this stuff is just so awkward to type oh my god. I want it to be realistic, but at the same times it's just like AGHHHH I CAN'T WRITE IT IT'S TOO AWKWARD I DON'T EVEN KNOW WHAT I'M TYPING _but_ there ya go. I tried. XD I don't have personal experience, so I'm just going relying on other sources and stuff. God, this is gonna be hard when I write the _Fire Emblem Revelations_ fic. AGHHHHHHH! Also, thank you for those that gave ideas! :3 (Zeno hugs you all with a big, bright, sunshine-y smile and sparkling blue eyes) **

Shin-Ah laid there for a few minutes, brain muddled and confused, his heart pacing erratically within his chest and his body so hot it felt like he was on fire. _Wh... What... just happened?_ He didn't understand it. He understood even less of why he felt so strange. A good strange, but still... different. He was breathing so heavily-Shin-Ah could still feel her touch against his skin. Irene's never touched him like that before. It... It..

He wasn't sure how to describe it. He enjoyed it-he understood that much, but now he hurt. He... He wanted _more_ and he didn't understand why. Why was he hurting so much anyway? It wasn't the usual hurt he got from whenever she tricked him-this was different. Pushing himself up, a small groan escaped when the cloth of his trousers brushed against the hardened member between his legs. Shin-Ah froze, staring down at himself for a moment, and while a surge of confusion washed through him a breeze blew by and caused him to shiver.

While he felt like fire, he was still exceedingly susceptible to cold. He brought a hand up to his neck, his face flushing an even deeper red as he recalled her pinning him down. _Sh... She tricked me..._ He thought, biting his bottom lip as he sat there in thought. He wanted chase after her- every instinct in him screamed at him to-but... she won't forgive him. She said she wouldn't. What was so important in the village anyway? He turned his head, golden eyes locking onto her small form as she dashed down the hill-pausing and leaning against a village hut, her back facing him. Her shoulders were shaking. Pushing himself up onto his knees and biting back another hiss, he leaned forward slightly. _Irene...?_ Was she cold?

Another breeze passed by. Shin-Ah gave a cold tremble and then lunged, grabbing at his clothes and pulling his turtleneck on without hesitation. He... He needed to guard the camp. E-Even if he wants to follow, he can't... Irene will hate him if he does. He doesn't want that. Pulling on his kimono and tying the sash around it, he picked up his abandoned sword and started marching up the hill. He needed to grab his mask, anyway. He didn't want to accidentally use his powers and kill intruders. _Ao said my eyes are cursed... so I must never use them._ He's not afraid to walk without the mask around Irene; he strongly believes that she's immune. She thinks his eyes are beautiful... that _he's_ beautiful, even though he's not.

Irene does confuse him a lot though. Like now. Now is a good instance.

Why did she do that? To distract him so she could run away? ...Maybe. Yun told him to keep her at the camp because she'd get hurt if he didn't, so he was. Irene was terrified of villagers... of people. It was strange, because she always seemed so confident sometimes. She was full of contradictions, but... he wouldn't want her any other way. If... If she can just get through the village and come back safely, then...

His heart lurched painfully inside of his chest, a lump forming painfully in his throat. _She'll be fine._ But without him there to protect her...

Arriving at the camp sight he plopped down at his usual spot, plucking his sword off the ground and setting it in his lap. He turned around, facing the village, and watched. If something happened... if _anything_ happened... he would make his way there. Regardless if she hated him after, regardless if... if she won't forgive him...

Being hated is better than to face the death of the most important person all over again. He won't lose her. Not like Ao. She was different in a matter of importance compared to what the previous Blue Dragon meant to him, but they were both important all the same. If something happened... Shin-Ah doubted he would recover this time. He watched intently, mask resting on his forehead, as Irene wandered her way into a house. _Injured..._ So that's what she wanted to leave for. She wanted to heal the little boy. He felt a warmth flow through his chest again, his lips twitching just slightly at the sight of her selflessness, but the knowledge that she would retain the injuries caused the frown to take over his face once more.

He understands that Irene likes to help people. Shin-Ah does too. He hates seeing people hurt-hates _hurting_ them. But he'll do it without hesitation if it means protecting what matters. What's precious to him. Irene and his squirel companion, Ao, were his top priorities, but if something happened to Yona or even Kija... someone he's actually starting to become a little fond of... he'd fight for them.

Shin-Ah snapped out of his thoughts when he saw Irene throw herself into an alleyway, Yona, Yun, Kija, Ao, and Hak all making there way to the house she had just been at.

...

Yona ignored Kija's comment as she marched into the house, anger boiling inside her. If they had went into the house earlier when they passed it, nobody would have gotten hurt. Nobody would be crying. She ran into the room, rage fueling her, and opened the door expecting to see corpses littering the floor. Hak, Kija, and Yun followed behind her, Ao sitting precariously on Yona's shoulder.

But instead of corpses, she just saw two parents hugging a small boy tightly, both of them crying. "Oh thank the gods..." The woman sobbed, hugging the confused boy tightly. "Thank you... Thank you, thank you, thank you!" The entire room was ransacked and torn to shreds, and the boy had a lot of blood covering his form and coating the hair on the back of his head, but he looked perfectly unharmed. "We've been blessed by the gods!"

"If that woman, that-that _goddess_ hadn't passed by-" The husband choked up. Yona's eyes widened at their words, Kija looked sharply behind him out the doorway.

"I _knew_ it- It had to have been Irene!| Only the Brown Dragon has the capability of healing others!"

Upon hearing him speak up, the couple tried to silence their tears of joy and looked at the group in surprise. Yona stepped forward eyebrows knitting together curiously. "Um, excuse me... you said something about a goddess?

The woman nodded her head furiously, just holding the confused child closer to her. He blinked, looking up at them with big brown eyes. "Y-Yes! Sh-She came by not long after some of the soldiers attacked! I-It was a miracle! S-She merely touched him a-and then... and then..."

"He was better in no time! Like magic! She had to have been a goddess! No doctor could do something like that!"

"Did she give a name?" Hak asked bluntly, grabbing hold of Kija's arm to stop him from running out of the house to look for their new female companion. "What did she look like? Brown hair? Eyes? A strange tattoo on her face?"

"Y-Yes." The man responded, startled by the accurate description. "She... She said her name was "Haebinna"." Yona's eyes widened, recalling the time she told Irene that name she would have given her if she was not informed she already had a name. "Haebinna". "Shin-Ah". Sun and Moon. Opposites, but one and the same. "She came by, like a blessing from the heavens... If she hadn't stopped by, our boy... our little boy wouldn't be here with us now." His eyes burned, his voice threatening to break.

The men from before... the soldiers they passed by... _they_ were the ones who did this? Yona's lips curled back, the girl grounding her teeth together tightly as a fire lit up in her eyes. If Irene hadn't disobeyed Yun and managed to get away from Shin-Ah to make her way here... if she hadn't _healed_ this boy when she did... the child would be dead. The soldiers would have _killed_ a child just to vent out their own frustration. Her fingers curled tightly in fists, and Hak's eyes flickered towards her upon seeing the movement. If Yona had just entered the house earlier and _done_ something like she wanted, then... then...

The no one would have gotten so terribly injured in the first placed. These innocent people... these victims. Yona could have helped them. Instead, she backed away like a coward and left her new friend to clean things up. What kind of a princess was she?

Before she knew it, she had already reached up and grabbed onto Hak's sleeve. The Thunder Beast stared down at her, his blue eyes just as grim if not accepting of the situation at hand. "Hak... we could have _helped_ them earlier." Her voice quivered as she spoke. "Instead we coward away because we didn't want to risk agitating the soldiers earlier. These people... There are others like them, aren't there? If... If Irene... If _Haebinna_ hadn't been here to help them, then..." She squeezed her eyes tightly shut and shook her head. "I won't allow it. I won't _accept_ this helplessness. Especially if this town has been steeped in evil since my father's era..."

If there was anything they could do to help this town, anything to drown out the cruelty and despair... Yona was going to find it. They were going to find the Green Dragon and they were going to _save_ these people. How could _anyone_ go so far as to harm a child?

...

No, no, no, no, _no!_ His feet pounded against the ground, the fur to his mask flying behind him as he ran down the hill at breakneck speed. He clutched his sword tightly in his hand, eyes trained onto the sight as the man pinned her to the ground, foot digging into her lower back. He watched as she struggled, glaring daggers at the attacker, smacking his leg with her hand. The soldier just responded by slamming his foot down hard against her spine, Irene's expression contorting into that of pain as tears burned her eyes. Shin-Ah's expression merely hardened beneath his mask, golden eyes filled with hate as he increased his speed. He dashed out of the way of soldiers trying to grab him, anger flashing upon their faces, and within moments Shin-Ah had a horde of men after him. He ignored them. They weren't of concern.

Irene was going to mad. She was going to be really mad at him. She was going to cry, then thank him, then tell him that she told him not to follow her... and then she's never going to speak to him again. And while that hurt, while his heart shattered at the thought of it... seeing her being treated like this somehow hurt even more.

Relief flooded his body when he saw she managed to get away, but she was hurt. She had a hand over her mouth, looking ready to throw up as she limped away as fast as she could. Shin-Ah didn't relent his speed, just a few alleys away, more and more soldiers lining up behind him and taking chase. A man suddenly running out in front of him he had to jump back, swinging with the sword to avoid the blow that would have hit his chest. There were yells, screaming-but Shin-Ah couldn't really focus. All he could think of was Irene: in danger. Hurt. Bleeding. Blood stained her kimono. She had been coughing up the liquid earlier. The man had caught up with her again, slamming her against a wall.

Shin-Ah started to panic. His lips curled back and he swung with such force and intensity, he sent a man flying into another one, blood gushing from his chest wound. _Get away from her!_ He ducked, sliding his leg across the ground for balance, and slashed upwards. The man's head nearly came off from his body as he fell back. The one from before was still struggling to get out from underneath the corpse Shin-Ah had thrown on him. Some of the soldiers backing up a few steps, Shin-Ah continued on his way, anger and annoyance boiling through his veins when he noticed the men started to follow him again. Can't they just leave him be?

That was when he saw it. That was when the man attacking _his Irene_ started to rid her off her clothing, tearing off the vest and ripping up the clothes Yona had been so kind as to let her borrow. She was crying, unmoving, horror and fear written on her face as the tears fell. He was entirely sure what the man was planning he was started to undo the sash holding up his own pants, but Shin-Ah knew he didn't like it. He hated it even more when he saw him yank up her dress.

 _I'm going to kill him._

Any and all warmth from Shin-Ah's eyes was completely gone at this point; nothing but a cold and cruel fire burning within his golden orbs. He was going to _tear him into shreds_. And as Shin-Ah was going through all the colorful ways and ideas of how he was going to do it, someone beat him to the punch. Quite literally, actually. Though, Shin-Ah would have to say it was more of a "beaten to the kick".

For out of nowhere, the Green Dragons swooped down out of the sky (sort of reminding him how Irene appeared, only without the golden light of a dragon wrapped around her). Before he even hit the ground the Green Dragon brought his leg up, slamming his foot into the man's skull and sending him flying. Irene crumpled onto the ground, clothing in tatters and more of her body than she would have ever preferred exposed, and sobbed as she curled up into a ball. The Green Dragon pulled off his coat and draped it over her, leaving him in his trousers and an under-shirt. Shin-Ah couldn't explain the relief and gratitude he felt towards the Green Dragon at that moment, knowing full well he would never be able to express how thankful he was that he saved Irene, but then... just as the Green Dragon lifted Irene up into his arms and Shin-Ah arrived at the end of the alleyway where they were...

The Green Dragon stopped speaking, looked at Shin-Ah with cold violet eyes, and leaped up into the sky, taking Irene with him.

That left Shin-Ah with the man's corpse and the many soldiers who had followed him here, a cold and hollow feeling filling his chest... despair and disbelief and anger and sadness and confusion all conflicting and crushing his heart from inside him. This feeling...

It was the feeling of betrayal.

...

The crew was making their way through the village, relying on Kija and his senses to locate the Green Dragon when he suddenly got the sensation of the Blue Dragon being nearby. They followed Kija to the location where the Blue Dragon was, but none were prepared for the sight they had seen. Standing there, sword grasped tightly in his hand and slicing down a soldier, was Shin-Ah. His red-stained mask covered his face, but they were able to make out the deep and angry scowl on his lips as he watched the man he just slain collapse onto the ground. His leather kimono was completely coated with blood, men- _soldiers_ \- laying around his form all over the alleyway. Corpses.

Yona recognized them as the men that had been harassing the villagers, but why... was Shin-Ah here? Did he follow Irene to town? If so, why did he kill these men? There had to at least be twelve of them. They were all bleeding out, the crimson staining the ground and soaking into the earth, and some were even missing limbs. One man looked especially chopped up- as if Shin-Ah had taken special care into mutilating him and delivering more than just a one-hit kill. The young princess stared, her amethyst eyes wide, and as she stepped forward to address him and inquire about his actions Hak had shot an arm out to stop her. His blue eyes narrowed into a glare when Shin-Ah's head snapped up to look at them, his growl dissipating and his jaw relaxing. His lips parted slightly in surprise.

Though they could not be seen, they were all very aware of the pair of eyes staring intently at them- _through them_ \- and judging them for all they were worth behind the mask. Yona opened her mouth to protest to Hak's actions, but closed it and changed her mind upon seeing the thoughtful and serious expression he was wearing. Yun was completely stunned.

"B-Blue Dragon, you..." The young boy choked up, not the slightest idea of how to react to the situation at hand. "Wh-What the _hell_ did you do...?"

Kija looked the most horrified-the White Dragon couldn't even speak. His cerulean eyes were as big as dinner-plates, no sound able to escape his lips for the only thing he could do was stare. This was the last thing he expecting to find or see Shin-Ah do. He knew he was capable of fighting, of protecting himself, especially after seeing Shin-Ah get into a fight with Hak the one time after he tried to grab Yona in order to help Irene, but _never_ had he imagined Shin-Ah to go about and massacre soldiers so... _violently_. He just didn't seem like the sort of person.

Hak finally spoke, breaking the tense silence between them. What he said... well, it made everything become clear to the group. "Where's the Brown Dragon?"

 _Irene left camp, but she's not with Shin-Ah. Shin-Ah was surrounded by corpses-men that **he** had slaughtered. _

The Blue Dragon didn't speak, simply turning his head and bringing his blade down into the most badly mutilated body. That very particular soldier was slashed to bits... Hak's eyes narrowed farther, flicking towards Shin-Ah and watching his reactions closely. The Blue Dragon was twisting the blade, his lips curling back as he bared his fangs at the body. It was almost as if he had a grudge against him.

"Blue Dragon..." Hak started again, voice deepening in a warning tone. "I asked; _where_ is the Brown Dragon?"

Shin-Ah tilted his head in response, shoulders starting to shake for a moment, before he grabbed the sword handle with both hands. He turned to look in their direction, and the glare on their face almost seemed as if it were directed at them-that is, until they realized he was looking _passed_ them. Into the distance, passed the town, at the sea. Yun attempted to repress the shivers going down his spine, rather frightened of such a bloody scene. He always knew Shin-Ah had been protective, but so _deadly_ so...

It made him wonder that if they ever did anything to harm Irene, intentionally or not, if Shin-Ah would go so far as to cut them down in vengeance. The boy genius stared out in the distance, wondering what the Blue Dragon could possibly be looking at. There were all the buildings surrounding them, people keeping their doors locked shut and the windows covered with curtains, and the great big sea just beyond the port-

"The sea!?" Yun gasped, the realization hitting him. Irene was at _sea?_ How!? Kija seemed to reach this conclusion as well. He understood Shin-Ah's reaction, for if something happened to Princess Yona he was certain he himself and Hak would go just as crazy. Although, it still didn't change the fact that seeing such a gruesome sight from someone so sweet was frightening.

"Wh-What is she doing on the sea?" Kija choked out, finally regaining his voice. It threatened to rack underneath the pressure of the heavy atmosphere. Shin-Ah turned away again, looking down at the corpse his sword was embedded in. "Sh-Shin-Ah?"

"The... Green Dragon..." Now the group was even more confused. Hak was beginning to get a small idea of what went on though. The corpses, Shin-Ah anger at the one... it was starting to come together.

"He took her." Hak said. It wasn't a question. Shin-Ah paused, looked at him, the nodded quietly. Yona pushed Hak's arm out of the way, ignoring the Thunder Beast's protests, and stepped forward. Her eyes were hardened, a fire slowly starting to rekindle itself in her gaze.

"Shin-Ah... why did the Green Dragon take Irene? Why did you kill these men?" She watched as he bared his fangs in a snarl, his shoulder tensing as he shook his head roughly and snapped, voice cracking as he yelled,

"He _touched_ her!"

Yona recoiled in shock. Everyone seemed startled by his sudden raise of voice. Shin-Ah choked up, the male starting to shake as he lowered his head, and he tightened his hold on the sword handle so much that he was completely trembling at he fell down to one knee. Everyone was certain that if they could see the upper half of his face, his eyes would be squeezed shut and wet with tears. They've never seen this side of Shin-Ah before, never seen him break down like this. They've only ever witnessed him being angry. Never... ever... have they seen him _broken_.

"H-He touched her a-and... and..." He shook his head, not knowing how to put his feelings into words. How was he supposed to explain what happened? "H-He tore her clothes... H-He hurt her. He _hurt_ Irene." That was all he could think about. How scared she looked when she was shoved against the wall, how the tears were streaming down her face in fright. How she was too weak to even crawl after the Green Dragon arrived... "I-I couldn't... Too late. I... was too late..."

He was unable to protect her. To rescue her. The Green Dragon rescued her, but then... he took her. He took her away from him. Far, far away. He already felt so empty...

Shin-Ah could feel the warmth on his face, but was unable to fully process it. Everything just hurt too much. "G-Green Dragon... saved her. He... He took her away." His Irene... he failed her. The girl was so much weaker than him; so fragile, so reckless. He wanted to protect her, to keep protecting her, and to hold her in his arms where'd she be safe. It was almost a funny thought, especially since he used to think being away from him was the safest. But now... he felt anywhere without him near her was dangerous. And now... she was gone. Because he didn't leave sooner he failed to get to her in time, and now the Green Dragon has her.

The Blue Dragon was practically hugging his sword, hovering over the mutilated body as the tears silently fell. Only the occasional strangled sob forced its way out of the back of his throat. He always thought his strength was the only good thing about him-it let him protect and guard the people of his village and it kept him alive for fourteen years after Ao's death. Constant practice, constant training, and battle... and yet now it was worthless. What's the point if he can use it to save the one person he cared most about?

 _I want her back._ She was his just as he was hers. Irene said so. _Green Dragon... took her away from me._

If he can't use his speed to save her from these men, the very least he can do is use his strength to get her back. Taking a shaky breath he brought a gloved hand up and reached underneath his mask, wiping at the tears. He paused, a thought coming to him.

 _I can't. Ao said not to._

But if those men hadn't continued chasing him, he would have been able to reach her in time. If they had stopped... or been paralyzed... he would have made it.

His gaze locked intently onto the ship where she lay inside, freshly clothed in a new dress and her eyes closed, a bandage wrapped around her forehead. It took all his focus to see through it from so far away, but he was desperate. It seemed they were taking good care of her, but if they tried to stop him from taking her back... Shin-Ah gripped the edge of his mask tightly, heart beating loudly in his chest. Yanking his sword out of Irene's attacker he flung the blade through the air, cleaning it of the blood, and sheathed it behind his back.

 _It's a double-edged blade. I should never use it._

Ao was kind, but that was his one rule. Never use his powers. It's a cursed power. He and Ao were ugly monsters, cursed, and brought nothing but destruction and misfortune. Still... if it meant getting her back... if it meant keeping her safe...

 _I'm sorry Ao. I'm breaking our promise a second time..._

He was walking. Slowly pulling the mask from his face, his intense eyes focused on the sea before. He was prepared for what sacrifice he was going to have to make if it meant getting Irene back. _No one_ touches her, _no one_ harms her. And especially _no one_ takes her away from him. His eyes burned furiously, but he didn't care. He was _going_ to get her back.

An arm suddenly reached out and stopped him. Shin-Ah froze, feeling the hand pressing against his chest. Raising his head, he stared darkly at Hak who dared to stop him. Hak looked slightly unnerved by the expression on Shin-Ah's face, but the Thunder Beast remained strong. He leveled his gaze to Shin-Ah's, meeting his eyes for the very first time and surprised by the beauty Shin-Ah truly did possess. Until this moment, he never saw Shin-Ah's face. He was the only one who hasn't. Hak never expected Shin-Ah to have such open eyes-his golden orbs glimmering with every emotion one could possibly think of.

Still, Hak's face remained stern. His eyes were understanding as he spoke. "We'll get her back. So don't act rashly." Shin-Ah stared for a moment, tiling his head with knitted eyebrows, before the challenge in his eyes slowly died away. Hak was no threat. Hak wanted to help him. "Do you know what the Green Dragon looks like?"

Shin-Ah averted his gaze, looking down, and questioned whether or not to cover his face with the mask again since he now had help. Hak could fight off the people who tried to slow him down. Who tried to stop him. He decided that yes, he was going to put the mask back on. There was no need for him to use his power after all. Shin-Ah didn't speak for a moment, only to finally nod. "He... He has... grass hair..." He relaxed, feeling more comfortable having his face covered around these people.

"As in... the color?" Hak blinked at Shin-Ah's description. The Thunder Beast could briefly recall bumping into a certain creep with that hair color. It was highly unusual, but Hak was so used to weirdos that he just didn't think about it. When you live with a woman that had flaming red hair and two men with blue and white hair, you just stop caring about those things. Shin-Ah gave another nod. Hak let out a small curse. "Damn it! I know who the Green Dragon is."

Everyone looked startled at that, and Shin-Ah's invisible stare became only more intense and unnerving. Hak reached a hand up and ruffled his hair, scowling. He _knew_ something was fishy about that guy-especially when he started to ask questions about foreigners.

"I've met him before. I didn't think about it, but now I see how stupid I was," He explained, frowning. "Princess, Yun, go back to camp. The Dragons' and I will go searching for him."

"E-Eh?" Yun stammered, alarmed. "B-But the Blue Dragon is-"

"Worried." Hak interrupted, frowning. His eyes darted to look at the redheaded princess staring up at him curiously, her head tilted to the side cutely, before he looked back at Yun. "Shin-Ah is worried."

Nobody decided to comment on the use of Shin-Ah's name, Hak finally addressing him as an equal. He normally just referred to the Dragons' by their titles. To Hak, Shin-Ah being worried about the one person he cares most about is something he can understand. If someone had harmed Yona, Hak would have gone just as berserk or maybe even worse.

"Now, let's go you two. We don't have time to dilly dally." He turned, slapping the stunned masked man on the back, and started to walk away. Kija followed, bidding the princess farewell and telling Yun to keep a good watch on her, and dashed to catch up with the Thunder Beast. Shin-Ah stood there for a few moments, not entirely sure what had just happened, before a warmth blossomed gratefully in his chest. He moved quickly, dashing to catch up to them, and within seconds had his arms wrapped tightly around Hak's waist. The Thunder Beast froze. Kija stopped walking, looking on in surprise.

"Th... Thank you." Shin-Ah murmured into his neck. It was so quiet only Hak could hear it, but he understood the importance of it. Shin-Ah let go as fast as he had grabbed on, but then shifted so he could cling onto Hak's arm in a similar fashion to the way Irene always did to him. Hak gave Shin-Ah a strange stare, raising an eyebrow, and Kija's hands flew up to cover his mouth.

Next thing they knew _Kija_ was hugging Shin-Ah, nearly knocking him over in the process. The White Dragon seemed to no longer care about the fact his friend was a bloody mess. "It's okay, little brother!" Kija gushed. Shin-Ah didn't seem to know how to react to Kija rubbing his face against his, but accepted the show of affection nonetheless. Kija didn't notice how the Blue Dragon's shoulders tensed up, but he did feel Shin-Ah gradually relax. "Big Brother Kija and the Thunder Beast are going to help you find the Brown Dragon! We would never let harm come to her if we are able to prevent it! We'll rescue her together and we'll be a big family again! And then, after we recruit the Green Dragon, we'll give him a piece of our minds for taking Irene without permission!"

Lips slightly parting in surprise, neither one was prepared for the tiniest of smiles that spread across his lips. And knowing just how rare that pure, innocent smile was... and how it only ever came out for one person... well, Hak and Kija both decided in that moment that Shin-Ah's precious smile was something that needed to be protected.

 **I wanted this whole chapter to be in Shin-Ah's PoV, so the beginning of the next one will start with Irene waking up in the ship. I can't remember the crews names though, so that's going to be a pain to figure out. T_T So sad. Oh well. XD Read and review! Have some Hak/Kija/Shin-Ah bonding.**


	22. Uncertainty

_"Come to me in the night hours; I will wait for you. I can't sleep and thoughts devour, thoughts of you consume. I can't help but love you, even though I try not to~ I can't help but want you, I know that I'd die without you~!"_

...Slowly drifting back into consciousness, I groaned and tried to shift my body into a more comfortable position. Unfortunately, pain wracked my whole body at the smallest movement and my sore muscles cried out in protest. I inhaled sharply, wincing, and instantly stopped moving. _What... What happened?_ God, my head was killing me. Keeping my eyes closed, I laid there for another good ten minutes until the pain in my head started to subside. I could feeling the healing doing its job, but it was slow and rather unpleasant. Curling my fingers a little, I paused and knit my eyebrows in confusion when I felt something soft.

Not fur that Shin-Ah and I usually laid on when we went to sleep at night at camp. It wasn't a proper mattress either. It _did_ feel like blankets though, and the thing I was laying on kept kind of... rocking?

"-awake-!"

"Think... Captain... her?"

"Do you... she has... -friend?"

"...-shut up! Shh! Look, look! Her eyes are opening!"

My hearing was a little off, but by the time I actually managed to open my eyes it was nearly back to normal. Groggy and still in pain, I found myself staring up at an unfamiliar wooden ceiling. I turned my head towards the sound the strange voices were coming from, only to have my blood run cold. Seeing the multiple unfamiliar faces stare at me-the unfamiliar _male_ faces- the memory of what happened earlier came rushing back to me. Horror pierced my heart and I didn't bother holding back the shriek that escaped my lips, fear running through my veins. I shot up, ignoring the wave of dizziness, and was about to scramble away when the hammock I was laying in suddenly tipped over from my movement, causing me to crash directly onto the hardwood floor.

"O-Oh god! What's wrong!?"

"Hey, why are you screaming!?"

"Th-The hell!?"

Seeing them come near just panicked me more. "N- _NO!"_ I was trembling, hyperventilating, _panicking_. I gave another scream, desperately trying to scramble onto my feet and run away. There was no way passed them; the men were blocking the exit. Was there an exit? _I-I can't-I can't-_ I can't breathe. I can't think. I just wanted to get away. One tried to reach out towards me, but when he grabbed my arm I freaked. There was a loud, painful _WHACK!_ of skin hitting against skin, my fist connecting against the man's face, and when he let go and I tried to step back my foot caught on the hem of my dress. I shrieked, flailing my arms in the air as I was sent falling backwards. My skull hit the hard floor and tears welled up in my eyes, the pain prominent all the more.

"C-Calm down, will you!?" The man I punched cried out, holding a hand against his injured face. I struggled to stand, only falling back down, but I could barely see them anymore. All I saw was the man who attacked me. Who grabbed me. Who ripped my clothes off. I crawled backwards, staring at them with fearful eyes. My terror only grew when I found my back pressed against a wall. I jolted, looking behind me in alarm, before staring back at the men who were looking at me in a mixture of confusion and concern. "H-Hey..." He tried to step forward, but I merely pressed myself closer to the wall with a terrified screech, squeezing my eyes tightly shut.

" _No!_ D-Don't! Don't come near me!" I-I need to-to defend myself. I need-I need a thing. A weapon. A blade. A- _Anything_. My breathing was labored and shaky and I found myself groping the floor, too blind in my panic to think rationally. They ignored my screams, not that I expected them to listen, and kept trying to come closer. "G-Go _away!_ " My hand latched onto an object- a heavy brown bag- and I flung it at them. That was when I saw it. An entrance- a doorway with stairs that led up. Though dizzy, I managed to push myself and run for it.

Desperation. Fear. Determination. So many emotions were running through me at that moment. I needed to get away. I needed to get back to Shin-Ah. _Dragon. Where's Blue Dragon? Blue, Blue, Blue, Blue, Blue._ I-I needed- _Dragon! Dragon there! Friend!_ Vision completely blurred, my feet were being guided by instinct alone as I ran. " _Shin-AH!_ " I wailed, tackling the giant around the waist. I broke down into sobs, a wave of security washing over me in the presence of a friend, and my legs gave out before me. I clung tightly onto his green robe, burying my face against his leg as I cried. "I-I'm so s-sorry! I-I-I was... I was so _scared!_ " I never should have left you. I never should have betrayed you. I should have never let myself believe I would be able to handle things by myself. "I-I won't-I won't leave again!" I choked, hiccups wracking my body and forcing their way out of my throat. _I'm so scared. I'm so scared. Please don't leave me, please don't let me leave again, I'm so sorry. Please don't go, I'm so scared._

Kneeling down, strong arms wrapped around me and pulled me close into a firm chest. A hand rested on the back of my head, fingers running gently through my hair as he pressed my head into his shoulder. "Shh... it's alright now," He murmured softly, voice gentle and soothing. "The man who attacked you is dead now... you're perfectly safe here with me, little dove."

"J-Jae-Ha!?" One of the men from downstairs exclaimed, having rushed up with the others. My brain didn't register the name; it didn't even register the difference between Dragons or the physique of the one who was holding me. All I knew at this moment was that the person who was holding me was someone I could trust, someone who was a dear friend. Someone who would make the nightmares go away.

After sobbing uncontrollably for a good eight minutes straight, I gradually began to calm down and relax in the man's hold. I sat there on the ground, eyes closed and exhausted, and was on the verge of being lulled to sleep by the steady beating of a heart. A hand rubbed my back comfortingly, lips pressing against the top of my head. _Smells... different. Sweeter._ A bit more floral? It was nice, but... different. Not what I was used to or loved. Taking a deep breath, I silent pulled away. I wasn't really staring at anything-I was left in a sort of daze. I was still struggling to grasp the situation at hand. _Green..._ Shin-Ah never wears green. Lifelessly raising my head, I found myself staring at a warm smiling face.

"You're..." Not Shin-Ah. He was definitely a Dragon though. A... A Green Dragon. He was... He was there-right after the man had pressed me against the wall. H-He... He saved me. "Y-You-" I started to tear up again and had to cut myself up, clamping my mouth shut and bringing a hand up to my head. A hand resting on my arm, I found I lacked the strength or will to push him away when he gently grabbed my chin and forced me to look up at him. Brown met violet, a grin slowly spreading across his face.

"How are you feeling?" He asked, before bringing his hand up to carefully push mine away, resting it against the wound on the side of my head. "You took quite a few nasty hits back there, little dove. If I hadn't been looking for you all day, I might not have been able to interfere..." Jae-Ha hummed to himself, lowering his eyelids and leaning down, gingerly resting his forehead against mine. His green hair tickled my face. "Ah, but that's merely an "if". The fact of the matter is that I _did_ find you, which is a good thing too... Now we can defy "fate" together."

 _Wh... What?_ I stared at him dumbly, questioning if I heard him right. The man pulled away before I could figure how to react, still wondering if I _should_ react to that, and he looked behind me.

"Ryo, what happened to your face?" His violet eyes were wide, startled at the sight of the giant bruise forming on his ally's face. The black haired man paused, shrugging quietly. The blond next to him pointed at me, exclaiming loudly,

"She punched him, that's what! He was all worried 'cause she started screaming and crying once she saw us, and then she punched him!" Jae-Ha paused, stunned. He blinked, looked down at my sniffling form, before back at the men and laughing. I stared up at him in alarm, arguing with myself mentally as to whether or not I should push myself away and try to make a run for it. A big part of me wanted to-this man wasn't Shin-Ah, I was surrounded on a boat full of potentially dangerous men, and yet... being near this person made me feel safe. I felt as though the Green Dragon wouldn't harm me. Everyone else however...

 _Blue... what did I get myself into now?_

...

Shin-Ah curled up near the edge of the cliff, glaring out into the distance from behind his mask as he watched people go through their every day lives. To say watching them interact with one another made him upset was more than a little understatement. The day's events had left him in a very sour mood, and the sight of Irene crying-of _his_ Irene crying- and being held by someone else caused a painful ache in his chest, his stomach twisting and churning grossly. If he had been faster; if he hadn't been distracted by those villagers chasing him... the Green Dragon wouldn't have been able to take her.

Depressed, Shin-Ah pulled his knees closer to his chest. Ao pressed her cold nose to his cheek in an attempt to comfort him, letting out a few small squeaks. Even with her company, he felt... empty without Irene. She was always there; next to him, holding his hand or hugging his arm, sitting next to him and rambling away... the silence was so unnerving, even with the background noise of Yun yelling angrily at Hak and Kija for fighting again, or scolding Yona for accidentally hurting herself trying to help with the daily chores. One would think it wouldn't be so uncomfortable or eerie, especially since he lived so long in silence alone... but Shin-Ah had grown so _used_ to her being there.

No matter where he looked, no matter where he went, she was there beside him. His first friend. His...

Shin-Ah tilted his head, watching as the Green Dragon helped the young woman up. Irene ran to the edge of the boat, peering over the edge with horrified eyes. The Blue Dragon's fingers dug into his legs tightly, so much so that it was probably going to leave bruises, but he was furious. Furious at the Green Dragon for betraying his trust, furious at the villagers for slowing him down, furious at himself for not being fast enough to get there in time to save the one person who mattered. What if the Green Dragon _hadn't_ been there? What if Irene had... What if she had died, too?

He wasn't ready for that. Shin-Ah can't lose her like how he lost the previous Blue Dragon. She was finally getting a better hold of her powers, that was true, but she wasn't a fighter. She wasn't one of the Four Dragon Warriors. Irene was the Fifth Dragon, the healer. Sure, she tried to defend herself at times, but she was still too physically weak to do much damage. In a way she was similar to Yun, but seeing as how nobody really approved of her using her abilities because of the aftermath Yun was still their physician. Shin-Ah didn't want her to learn how to fight because he didn't want her to have to go into battle; he had believed he would be there to protect her. But things kept turning around on him-Irene kept _throwing_ herself into the danger. Even if she tried to avoid it, it always seemed to go looking for her.

"Ao..." He murmured, the squirrel squeaking and pressing her side against the visible part of his neck. Her fur tickled his chin. Shin-Ah could feel something building up in the back of his throat, as if he were about to cry again. Slowly he brought a hand up, fingers running against her soft back. "I don't know what to do..." He was so lost. He wanted to run through the village, to swim through the sea to the boat, and fight all of those who would refuse her return to him. "What... What am I supposed to do?"

"P'kyuu!"

Shin-Ah lowered his head, the memento on his face weighing down like a hundred tons. It was all he had left of Ao, his predecessor, but now it felt like a cold reminder of how he was alone. For fourteen long years Shin-Ah had been rotting away in those caves, only Ao for company, only intruders to kill, and no one to speak to or befriend. He had believed he never _would_ have a friend, having been shunned and labeled a "monster", but then Irene appeared. Now, she was taken away from him and there was nothing he could do but wait. Shin-Ah had been beaten in the past, hurt and damaged, but all those wounds felt like mere scratches compared to what he was feeling now.

If only he could fly... If he was a real dragon, he could soar through the skies and take her back without delay. Unfortunately, he was just the embodiment of one and had no real use. With a heavy sigh, Shin-Ah closed his covered eyes and fell onto his side, collapsing on the ground. Ao squeaked and tumbled off his shoulder, rolling down his chest and onto the ground, before scurrying up and cuddling into his arms. _I miss her..._ Shin-Ah cradled Ao to his face, a wetness against his cheeks as he held her close. The air felt so much colder without her warmth against him, too. He couldn't help but to shiver, curling up into a small ball.

"Shin-Ah~!" A sweet voice called, though not the one he wanted to hear. Soft, pittering footsteps could be heard, completely different compared to the loud, clumsy ones of his dear missing companion. Yona ran up, a gentle smile on her face, concern shimmering in her amethyst eyes as she looked down at him. "Yun finished making dinner... I thought you should know. You really seem to like his cooking, so..."

No response. Shin-Ah just remained laying there, not feeling too terribly hungry at the moment as his despair rid him of any and all appetite he could have possible had. Yona frowned, her eyebrows knitting together as she bit the inside of her cheek worriedly. She took a few steps forward, walking until she was right behind him and kneeling down. Hesitantly, she reached a hand out and gingerly rested it on the side of his bicep.

"Shin-Ah... we'll get her back. Hak and Kija gave you their word, didn't they? I promise, too. I really like Irene; she's a sweet girl." A bit reckless and quirky, but so was everyone else. Hak and Kija would go rushing into a fight without a second thought if it went against their beliefs, morals, or threatened the danger of anyone in the camp. Granted, Irene was a little more unstable compared to the others in the group, but... there wasn't much they could do about that. As long as the Blue Dragon was safe from harm, Irene wouldn't snap. In a way, she reminded Yona of Hak. Sweeter, naturally, a whole lot cuter compared to that meanie, but the resemblance remained.

When Shin-Ah still gave no sign of responding, the redhead pouted.

"Come on~ How can you expect to fight on an empty stomach? What if she found out about this? Irene would be pretty upset, don't you think?" Maybe this approach would work best? He always listened to the brunette, so maybe if she says something like this it would motivate him. To her delight, she finally got a response of the Blue Dragon. Shin-ah stiffened, shoulders tensing at the suggestion. _Perfect._ "Let's go get something to eat, okay? Otherwise I'll tell her all about how you skipped your meals."

It took a few minutes, Yona awkwardly sitting and waiting there for him to move, but the Blue Dragon finally pushed himself up into a sitting position, Ao crawling back up onto his shoulder. Again, he didn't move, but after a couple seconds passed he turned his head and looked at the young woman. Yona blinked, tilting her head curiously at him. Even though he was wearing the mask, she could still feel his intense stare. In a way, Yona was rather jealous of Irene; the redhead could still remember clearly the first time she saw Shin-Ah's face in the cave. His eyes were so beautiful, so intense and emotional, and like a child gazing upon the world. Yona really wanted to see those eyes again, but unlike the Brown Dragon Yona did not have that special privilege to see them.

Yona, pushing the petty thought out of her mind, smiled at Shin-Ah again and clapped her hands together. "Are you ready? I'm sure Kija's anxious to eat next to you tonight!"

Nothing was said, but as she stood and made to step away a hand suddenly stopped her, pale fingers reaching out and gripping at the bottom of her dress in a silent plead. She paused, looking down him in surprise. Yona was confused at first, not understanding why he suddenly stopped her leaving like that, before her eyes widened. Saddened by what must be going through his mind at this moment, Yona knelt down again and reached out, placing her hands on his shoulders.

"...It's alright, Shin-Ah. I'm not going to leave you, and neither are Hak and the others... we're all your friends. We're like a big family, you know?" She told him this quietly, doing her best to comfort and encourage him, and his lips parted slightly as he raised his chin up to look at her. From behind the mask, his eyes locked onto hers, staring and searching them as she gazed at him with complete sincerity. "We will _never_ leave you, and we _will_ get Irene back." She brought a hand up, gently brushing away some of the tears that had fallen. Her face softened. "So please... come eat with us. We're all going searching for the Green Dragon tomorrow, but we can't do that unless you're at full strength as well. Do you understand?"

"..." Shin-Ah hesitated, but nodded slowly. He stood, ready to walk away before faltering and looking down at Yona who was on the ground. He looked down at himself for a moment before offering a hand, the girl halfway to her knees but taking his hand when she saw it offered, touched by the act of kindness. A sign of acceptance. Trust. Though gradually, Shin-Ah was finally starting to bond with the others. He didn't pull away when she started to tug on his hand, guiding him back to the camp where the others were residing. Shin-Ah could feel Ao nibbling on his hair from beneath the fur connected to his mask, but didn't really care. His gaze was focused on the ground, wishing the girl in front of him was Irene. It was selfish, he knew, but he was scared and lonely. She was always by his side and having her suddenly not there... it terrified him.

They arrived at camp within minutes, Yona releasing his hand and allowing him to take a bowl of beef stew from Yun. He nodded his head at the young boy, murmuring a quiet "thank you", before silently making his way over to a lone tree. The tree where he and Irene had normally sat by since they arrived at Awa. Ao climbed down from his shoulder, sticking her face into the bowl and taking a piece of beef and chewing it. Shin-Ah stared at the spoon for a few moments, his side very cold without a warm body leaning against it, and he sighed before taking a bite. Even the food that normally made his tastebuds explode in delight seemed dull. Until Yun, he only ate what scraps he could come by and even ate bugs when he was desperate. Shin-Ah had been willing to do whatever it took to survive, so when he and Irene left the caves and got to eat Yun's cooking Shin-Ah couldn't get enough.

Yet now he could barely find the strength to chew it. _Why... did Green Dragon take her?_ She shouldn't mean anything to him. Did the Green Dragon have some connection to the Brown Dragon that Shin-Ah just wasn't aware of due to his horrible upbringing? Maybe the Brown Dragon and Blue Dragon weren't even supposed to be friends; maybe Shin-Ah was just meant to rot alone in the caves forever... Maybe the Brown Dragon was meant to be with the Green Dragon all along? Shin-Ah found himself growing even more depressed than before as his thoughts grew darker and darker, and it was only when he felt an unfamiliar warmth press against his side that he snapped out of it, turning his head in surprise and blindly hoping it would be Irene.

Instead, it was Kija. The White Dragon was leaning against him, shoulder pressed against his, and was currently scolding Ao for eating all of Shin-Ah's food. "Behave~! Can't you tell that your friend is very upset right now? You should be comforting him, not eating his food!" What is... the White Dragon doing? Why did he move from beside Yona? "Ahh, jeez. Fine-you can share with me, but leave his food alone. Shin-Ah needs his strength if we're going to be taking Irene back tomorrow. Right, Hak?"

"...Yeah." Hak nodded, eyes opening just a bit to glance at the two men leaning against the tree together. It didn't take a genius to figure out what Kija was trying to do, though Shin-Ah was still a little slow on the uptake. He didn't understand why Kija was using his shoulder as a pillow, nor why he was sharing his food with Ao. Hak's eyes locked onto the Blue Dragon, who stared back at him from behind his mask. Though, to Hak, Shin-Ah was hard to read... he was at least able to deduce that he was worried about his companion. "Eat up, Shin-Ah. We're going to need you at your best tomorrow; we have no idea how strong the Green Dragon is. I have a small idea, given we met before, but I don't want to take any chances."

 _Though, given how you took all those men out by yourself, I doubt I have any reason to be worried..._ It still bothered the Thunder Beast a little, such a sweet, innocent person being so savage, but he didn't completely mind it. In fact, being a Dragon Warrior, he wouldn't have expected less. If Yona was hurt, Hak probably would have done the same if not worse. His eyes darkened at the memory of the fateful night, rain pouring while Yona was forced to the ground, her long curly hair a mess as tears fell down her horrified face. A weak, spoiled princess... broken by her love's betrayal. Hak would have killed Su-Won right there if he had it his way, but the princess was first priority.

"Hak... what's wrong?" The woman in question reached out, nudging his arm with her hand lightly. Her eyebrows knitted together in worry, the bowl of stew resting in her lap delicately. The weak, fragile princess... struggling desperately to become stronger. Staring at her blankly for a long moment, Hak snapped out of his thoughts and brought a hand up, ruffling her hair with a smirk. "H-Hey!"

"Keep making that face and you're going to get wrinkles before you're twenty. You're already lacking beauty; if you get any worse what man would look at you?"

Yona gaped, stunned and greatly offended by his words. Yun rolled his eyes when Yona started to smack him, pounding his side with her fists, and Kija went into a flustered rant about how she was the most beautiful girl in all the lands. Shin-Ah just remained silently, thinking on Hak's words, before bringing the bowl up to his lips and swallowing it all without chewing. Yun's eyes widened when he saw and he stood, rushing over and grabbing his arms to try and stop him when he started coughing. "Idiot! What are you doing; _don't take it all in at once!_ Eat it properly!"

Shin-Ah kept coughing until he finally managed to calm down. Yun stared at him for a long moment before lowering his head and sighing.

"Honestly, I don't know what you see in that woman... but when I find her I'm going to strangle her for worrying you like this. This behavior is ridiculous." The Blue Dragon paused, raising his gaze and staring at Yun in surprise. His expression remained blank from nose down, the only thing giving away his emotion being his eyes. Unfortunately, the beautiful golden orbs were completely hidden by his mask. "Stay strong, Shin-Ah. We'll get Irene back. Now eat- _by chewing your food."_

Reluctantly, Shin-Ah did as told and carefully began chewing his food.

...

I felt disgusting. Violated. Dirty. Even in the new, fresh clothes I was given to wear it was like there were parasites running all over my skin. I was hiding in the corner of the room I woke up in, knees curled up to my chest while I rubbed frantically at my arms, nails digging into the flesh and scratching hard enough to draw blood. _Get if off, get it off!_ His gross breath, his rough touch, the way he slammed me against the wall... I squeezed my eyes tightly shut, trying to ignore the burning of tears that were stinging my eyes. I buried my face in my arms, teeth grinding together, my fingers twisting into my hair and pulling. _I-I'm scared..._

I don't want to be here. I don't want to be on a ship full of men. I don't want to be here near the town where _that man_ lives. I want to go home. I want Shin-Ah. I want _Blue._

Blue is always there. Blue makes all the scary things go away.

Without completely consciousness of my actions I found myself staring out the porthole. I would probably drown if I jumped off the ship, lacking any decent swimming ability, but if I could just get to the land... _If I get to the town, I'll be attacked again. Th-That man will... H-He'll..._ I began to panic attack, fear welling inside of me before I could divert my attention to something else. _I-I don't want... I don't want to go through that again... No, no, no, no, no. Not again. Not again, not again, not again-_ His snarl, his eyes, his touch-

Before I knew it I was back in the caves, thoughts consuming me and paralyzing me with the memory of Ko-Ji. He was the very thing that made me realize exactly what I was; a weak, pathetic girl who could only run away, who could only stall long enough for someone to come rescue. I liked to think that I could handle things myself, that if I talked long enough or took action I would be able to get my way, to solve all my problems, but the truth is I wasn't. I wasn't half of what I was supposed to be. Half of what I believed I was.

I was a useless, defenseless girl who couldn't even sort out her feelings towards her best friend or bring herself to talk to him about it. I was a coward.

A-And because of my actions, b-because of my _pride_ , I had... I had almost...

 _N-No... No, no, no, no!_ I pulled at my hair harder, tiny fangs digging so hard into my lip that it bled. I was trembling, hyperventilating as I struggled to win the metal argument within myself. I didn't want to get people involved with my issues, I wanted to solve them all by myself, and those decisions led me up to where I was now. A captive on a pirate's ship, hiding in their crew quarters while the Green Dragon and some of the other men went off to subjugate some ships. I can't believe that I, even in my deluded state, had believed him to be Blue. I-I was so scared, and I just followed my instincts- I ran in the direction my mind claimed safe. I wasn't even thinking much at all then; I just wanted to get away and to find Shin-Ah.

Instead, I got someone else entirely. Someone I wanted nothing much to do with. The last time I saw him he made me feel... guilty. Now, after clinging to him and crying like that, the feeling was increased tenfold. Forget how I felt about being stripped and pinned, this was a whole different level of disgusting. Violated, disgusting, _worthless..._

After what I did to Blue, after what I told him about never forgiving him... I don't blame him. He'd be so much happier without me, without someone who uses him so cruelly, who takes advantage of him...

I stopped crying, the hole that had been shrunken down over what happened so long ago now growing rapidly, enveloping my heart and all the contents with it. I felt numb and cold, and yet at the same time very empty. I sat there, legs dropping and my hands falling into my lap as I gazed off to the distance. _Blue never came for me..._ Instead, the Green Dragon was the one who rescued me. Did he truly believe my words, the words that I would hate him? I know I've lied, breaking my promise multiple times, breaking _all_ of my promises to him, but... I never lied about loving him. About being unable to harbor any feelings of hatred towards him. But, after all I had did to him...

The tears began to burn my eyes again, my vision blurring.

 _I forgive you, Blue. After all I had done to you, I could never blame you for leaving me._ Perhaps it's a good thing I'm here now; Shin-Ah won't have to deal with anything involving me anymore. The Green Dragon has made it very clear he wanted nothing to do with the other Dragons, with the "King", so that means even if they do find him they won't get to me. _He won't have to deal with me ever again..._

With this, Blue will be freed from my poison. My toxin will no longer corrupt his pure being.

I took a deep breath, bringing a hand up and running it down my face. I sniffled, struggling to push myself up as my head pounded. The minor scratches have finally healed, though my head was still working on cleaning up its own injuries. I wondered if it would take another day to fully heal itself, or maybe more. I still didn't have a firm grasp on how fast certain wounds heal, and it confused me a little as I could heal others in just a few minutes- even seconds, depending on how bad it is. I sighed, hand against the wall, and steeled myself. I just had to remain distracted. If I can stop my mind from wandering, if I can just... _not_ think about Shin-Ah or what had... happened... I'll be fine.

With that, I began to make my way up the staircase with newfound determination. Yona doesn't _need_ the Dragons, not really; she just wants them to help her and Hak survive. Shin-Ah's plenty strong all by himself, and though Hak and Kija could never compare they weren't anything to laugh at either. She would be fine with just them. They already have Yun- a healer. There's no reason for me to remain in their group. _Blue can get attached to someone else... I won't hurt him anymore. I refuse to._ I reached a hand out, ready to open the door, only to freeze as a thought hit me. Blue can live without me certainly, but... how am I supposed to live without him?

I was never given a chance to answer, for the door opened by itself. A warm smile, border lining that of a smirk, greeted with a pair of brightly lit violet eyes. "Irene~! How lovely of you to finally join us! Was it perchance the sound of my beautiful playing that aroused you from your slumber?" ...What? N-No, what it he talking about? Playing? Playing of what? My confusion must have shown on my face, because he was already reaching out to grab my hands. I wanted to pull away, to scream at him to let go, but something made me clamp my mouth shut and go along with his whims, allowing him to drag me along the deck over to the small circle where everyone was laughing and drinking around a fire.

The sight of them made me stop in my tracks, causing Jae-Ha to stop as well, and the man stared down at me in confusion. Realization flashed in his eyes, as well as understanding, before he slid in front of me and blocked them from my view. His hands cupped my cheeks, careful not to aggravate any of my still-healing wounds. "I know how scared you are, little dove... I myself went through something similar, though not quite to such an extent. My life wasn't all roses and most of my childhood I had had my skin bound by chains... but now you're free." His voice was soft, gentle even, and he leaned down so he was closer to my eye-level. Lifeless brown gazed into concerned violet. "Neither of us have to play by the rules of fate. I saved you from that man and I saved you from the invisible chains that bound you. Many may not accept you, whether it be because of the power you were given as the Brown Dragon or simply because you are not from here... but I can assure you, the people on this boat will never harm you."

Staring at him, my mind automatically began to wander to that of golden eyes. Eyes that were molten gold, tinted with the most brilliant of blues. I turned my head away, eyebrows knitting together as I blinked furiously. I can't think of Shin-Ah. I won't. I made that decision when I came up here; I intend to follow through with it. I'll just continue to ruin his life, to destroy his trust in people. My being gone is the best thing that could happen to him as of now. "I..." My voice was small and quiet, and broke the very moment I tried to speak. The people around the fire stopped talking.

Jae-Ha stepped around me, leaning farther down and trying to catch my gaze. "Yes? What is it? Do you need anything? Anything at all?"

I can do this. Just... breathe, Irene. Shin-Ah doesn't need you, there'd be no way you could even face him like you are now, and it's not like you're ever going to be seeing him again. This is what's best. For yourself _and_ for him. You weren't even supposed to be here anyway. _I just want to love him. I want to love him without guilt. Can you do that? Can you let me love Blue without feeling like a horrible person?_ Slowly shaking my head and trying to ignore the numbness growing inside my chest, I asked tiredly as I looked up at him, "Do... Do you have any room left on the ship? For... For a healer?"

His eyes widened. Then a smile grew so broadly I thought it would have split his face in half. "Of course! Ah, but you'll need to meet the captain! Oh, but before that I need to introduce you to all the men!" He grabbed my arm, pulling me closer to him before wrapping an arm around my waist and dragging me over to the campfire. All the men were watching... staring... it was unnerving. But not as unnerving as the feeling of Jae-Ha's arm around me. "They're a bunch of idiots, but they're not going to harm a lovely young lady such as yourself."

Jae-Ha was positively beaming, introducing all the people around the fire while they yelled at him for insulting them. Under normal circumstances, I probably would have laughed. I might even have had made a sarcastic comment about the situation, if not hide behind Blue and keep my thoughts to myself. He'd probably take notice of how scared I was, that I'd be clinging to him tighter than usual, and he would make some attempt to comfort me. Hak might even tease Yona about something, thus causing _her_ to yell at him, and then Kija would start yelling at Hak while Yun complained about how we were all idiots.

And they were. They were sweet, lovable idiots who looked out for each other. Who took in two strangers and let them travel with them, who gave them real food and a better place to sleep. They treated us kindly, they... they put up with everything. Our faults, our mistakes, our behavior. They accepted us. Sure, there were fights here and there, but after we got used to one another...

Suddenly, I found myself choking up. One of the men commented in panic about how I was crying again and Jae-Ha was quickly trying to usher me away back to the crew quarters, believing I had been overwhelmed by all the men after having such a traumatizing incident. And while he wasn't completely wrong, that hadn't been the reason I stared crying. The reason I began crying was because I was trying to figure out when exactly I had started to think of Yona, Kija, and even Hak and Yun as family.

...

That night Shin-Ah offered to take first watch, but Hak refused and demanded he get some sleep. However, that was all futile when Shin-Ah kept tossing and turning, unable to get into a comfortable position. He didn't understand why; the earthen ground never bothered him before. He grew up sleeping on rocky mountain terrain after all, hidden in darkness and surrounded by little insects that would later become his breakfast. Yet now, everything felt uncomfortable. It was like ice outside, the fur doing little to warm him and Ao, and after a good ten more minutes he sat up, pulling the mask over his face as he ran his eyes across the campgrounds.

Kija was already long gone, snoozing away underneath his blanket, and Yona and Yun were tucked warmly inside the tent. The two young teens were cuddling together, something he was used to seeing and understood. Shin-Ah liked cuddling as well. It made him feel cared for and secure, almost as if nothing could disrupt the warmth enveloping him and joy in his heart. Perhaps that's why he couldn't sleep; he was so used to laying beside someone and using them as a pillow, and often in return being used himself, that it was odd not doing so.

Shin-Ah blinked when he felt Ao nibbling at the hem of his collar, the squirrel half-awake and most likely dreaming of food. It was a cute sight, but he carefully lifted her away from his shoulder and cradled her in his hands, looking down at her. He never did understand why Ao followed him around or why she took a liking to him, but she was there for the longest time. She rarely ran off without him, but when she did she would always return.

 _I **will** find Irene. _He ran a finger over Ao's soft belly, lips twitching upwards a little bit when he saw her squirm. He let out a breath, raising his head up and gazing up at the moon. The sky was so pretty once you look up at it. He always wondered if he'd remain in that cave for the rest of his days, if he would die in it, without ever actually get to glance up at the sky with his own eyes. To admire the beauty without the power he was given. "Ao... do you think she'll be mad at me? That she'll really hate me...?"

If Hak heard him, he gave no indication of it. He kept his head turned pointedly away from Shin-Ah. Ao didn't give a response, turning in her sleep and letting out a small squeak.

"...She said she could never hate me..." She's said it so many times, but the thought still terrifies him. He can't help but wonder if she would, even if a part of him knows she won't. Irene was so important and without her he... he wasn't sure what he would do. He killed so many people in anger, in vengeance, and... if he truly lost her... "I don't know anymore, Ao. I don't know..." His voice cracked a little, but he controlled himself. He wasn't going to cry here- not now. Shin-Ah was going to try and sleep again, to regain his strength. He was told that they were going to find the Green Dragon tomorrow and take Irene back, so therefore he was going to do as told. If it meant getting her back, if it meant Irene being with him again... he was willing to do anything.

 _"Stay with me a little longer, I will wait for you... Shadows creep and want grows stronger, deeper than the truth. I can't help but love you, even though I try not to... I can't help but want you; I know that I'd die without you. I can't help but be wrong in the dark, because I'm overcome in this war of hearts."_

 **So... hopefully this makes sense? XD The song is called "War of Hearts" by Ruelle. Someone pointed it out to me and it was like, "holy crap, it does fit!" Henceforth inserting it here at the top and the bottom of the chapter. XD I know it's been a while, you're all probably annoyed with me even more than you're annoyed at Irene, but here you go!**

 **Jae-Ha's a bit... iffy for me to write, but he does have quite a few serious moments. He's not always the flirtatious playboy. Seeing as the situation he found her in was a bite dark, he isn't going to be all "OH MY GOD IT'S A PRETTY FACE; MUST FLIRT" like he is with most people at the beginning. He's a bit touchy-feely, that's a given, but he's not being too forward. He's giving her some breathing space. Welp, read and review! :3**


	23. Explanations: Irene's mental state

Okay, because so many of you had been asking and questioning: Yes. Irene has massive PTSD. One minute everything is fine and normal, and then the next she's in a car wreck and "died". The last thing she knew was that her mother was unconscious, without any knowledge of whether or not she's alive. Following that, after she woke up in the caves (the middle on nowhere, not having any clue as to where she was at) she was bleeding out and then proceeded to get attacked.

The reason for her almost immediate attachment to Shin-Ah is because in the face of all the confusion and danger and… HORROR… he was the only thing "safe". He helped her, protected her, and even saved her from bleeding out because at that moment in time her healing hadn't exactly kicked in. She was going to die, but he saved her, and she was so scared and traumatized by all that had happened she didn't want to risk going anywhere because she had no idea how dangerous it was.

To her, in a place where she not where she was or if she was even in the same time era, that room she woke up in with Shin-Ah was the safest place to be and Shin-Ah was the only one she could trust. Her link to the other Dragons told her he was safe, but that quickly led to dependence.

Irene is the last child out of four. Children born last are often more dependant on others while only-children or first borns are more independent. That has a lot to play in with her becoming so dependent on Shin-Ah. He knew where things were, how the caves worked, and made it clear that even though he thought being around him was dangerous he wasn't going to force her to leave and that for as long as she stayed with him he would protect her.

Unfortunately, while she was in the middle of recovery from the car accident and the man who tried to kidnap her, a bunch of villagers entered the caves and tried to hurt her. Blue protected her again, thus making her become even more dependent and clingy towards him. Shin-Ah was quickly becoming her pillar of stability, but with that he was also becoming the key to bring her to insanity.

With more and more attacks on her life, Irene's emotional and mental state started to waver and break down. She was already a very emotional person before Kouka- before Shin-Ah- as I tried to show with the first chapter and how she was crying over a person whom she had never even truly known, but the car accident and all the attempts on her life broke down her emotional stability and made her a very unstable person.

Ko-Ji made Irene scared of people, of villagers, and with his continual attacks on her life and his threats and comments about her relationship with the "monster" of their village he eventually made her scared of men in general. That's why Irene was far more comfortable with Yona, aside from the Brown and Red Dragon's closeness in the ancient past, and was so terrified of Kija, Yun, and Hak. She lost her ability to trust people expect the one whom she had already known, one who had given her life and the ability to keep living.

Without Shin-Ah there to help her, to go out of his way to care and protect her, Irene would have completely broken to shards and in the end most likely kill herself. He became her best friend, her guardian, her family, her pillar- everything. She even questioned their relationship at one point after moving in with the Yona crew, wondering if her feelings were real or if it was delusions built upon her dependence on him and her lack of mental/emotional stability. (Around the time she started to realize she had feelings for him; remember that chapter? It was near when Yun started making offhand comments about how they acted like lovers and constantly called Shin-Ah Irene's "Boyfriend", though he wasn't named "Shin-Ah" then)

The entire crew knows Irene is bordering insanity; they also know that Shin-Ah is the thing that keeps her sane. This was made clear when she attacked Kija after having that nightmare, making her believe Kija helped plot Shin-Ah's death. Irene was a very affectionate person, even in the past, relying on physical affection, but after getting in the wreck and being attacked and hurt and basically all-in-all tortured by Ko-Ji and the other villagers that increased ten-fold, which is why whenever she and Shin-Ah are separated she starts to have breakdowns.

So yes, Irene is very fragile. She can't handle a lot of what's happening to her, so when faced with certain situations she freezes up and panics, breaking down and becoming severely fearful and scared. She's lost her family, her home, her life, and then was beaten and abused and tortured directly after, with only Shin-Ah around to keep her company and keep her safe.

Now, if Irene had ended up with Jae-Ha on the boat instead of the caves with Shin-Ah things would have been very different. She wouldn't have been attacked by villagers, her trauma exceedingly worse than what it had been at the start, and wouldn't be scared of men or have trouble trusting others. But, if it had happened, Jae-Ha and Irene wouldn't be in a relationship or working on one. After hitting on her a few times, Jae-Ha would have realized it made her uncomfortable (Not terrified, just… normal uncomfortability) and they would proceed to be very good, close best friends.

But now, Irene is simply a mystery to Jae-Ha. A pretty mystery who wants to defy fate, but too scared of everything to actually do much about it. She feels like if she stays around Shin-Ah, the person she cares most for, she will merely end up hurting him. She knows she can't protect him, she knows she's not strong enough to fight with her bare hands, all she can do is heal.

And that's her job. Irene is a HEALER. She's not a Dragon Warrior. She's not Zero, with his immortality and his golden scales, she's not Shin-Ah with his paralysis eyes and immense strength, she's not Kija with his dragon arm that could destroy buildings, and she's not Jae-Ha with a leg that lets him fly through the sky and kill people with his awesome kunai-wielding skills. Irene can heal people, cure them of disease and take their wounds for her own. She heals very slowly as a result, a consequence to help others, and for that she's going to be getting hurt a lot. Equivalent exchange, after all.

An arm, a leg… a body. To her, people shouldn't suffer. Innocent people shouldn't suffer. Irene no longer believes herself innocent, she no longer thinks she deserves anything decent or good or kind. She feels like she's corrupted, a monster, and someone who shouldn't really feel like they should live. She's grateful to Shin-Ah and all that he's done for her, but she feels that if he remains around her he'll end up getting hurt. Irene no longer thinks she's capable of being a good person; she's aware of her instability and her growing feelings for Shin-Ah are terrifying because through all that suffering and torment she had and is going through he's a shining light, a brilliant pillar of kindness and purity, and she doesn't want to ruin that.

She doesn't want to corrupt him with her "tainted" presence. Yes, her thought process is very annoying; I am fully aware of this. I AM writing her after all XD She went from being a semi-confident person to broken and defeated in the course of a few days, to utterly distraught and tormented in a month. (It was a month right? O.o THat they've been in the caves before Yona and Yun found them? Pretty sure. ANYWAY) She thinks that it would be better for him to live to hate her than be around her, but her selfishness of wanting to keep him all to herself argues with that and so she makes rash decisions all the time trying to keep him away from her.

She doesn't want to hurt him. She doesn't want to break him. She doesn't want him to end up like her. But, without him, there won't be anything left of Irene.

At least, until ZENO came into the picture. Zeno is a big part of the Brown Dragon, as you all remember Yona telling Irene about how the Brown Dragon and another Dragon (Clearly the Golden Dragon) were hatched from the same egg and whatnot, yes? (I need to review previous chapters, I think T_T) That being said, Zeno being the original dragon, the previous Brown Dragon has a lot to do with him. As you've all, hopefully, noticed that whenever Zeno is involved Irene's personality and actions do a whole 180, yes?

That's because without the other they are incomplete. The story between the two dragons will be revealed later on in the actual story, but a lot of Irene's mental instability has a lot to do with not only her massive PTSD from everything that's happened, but due to her separation from the Yellow Dragon. They keep each other calm, basically, and helps fill the empty gap in the other person's heart. (All I'm saying on the matter for right now. There's a bit more to it, but that's the simple part that you all could perceive from when she met Zeno in the town)

The previous Brown Dragon is also very much entangled within Irene's own soul, so MORE problems with her mentality is because while the previous dragon's lifeforce is dead and gone, his/her (not saying what gender, haha~! I'm so evil) soul is still very much in existence. Not in the necklace though, the necklace plays a different key part. The previous Dragon's thoughts mingles with Irene's own occasionally, creating a formal, more calm part of her, but very pessimistic.

Sometimes, the thoughts completely take over and overwrite her own personality traits.

So really, combined with PTSD, diminished self-worth, another entity trapped within your own, and your-quite literally-other half all being separated REALLY hecks with a person. So many factors. O.o

And Jae-Ha, while a bit of a flirt, plays a huge part in the reconstruction of Irene's emotional state. Zero, mental. Ik-Soo; I'll let you all guess on him, though it should be obvious. One of the reasons why Yun puts up with Irene a lot is because he's used to unstable people; Ik-Soo is very emotionally unstable due to his prophetic abilities, and so seeing Irene break down all the time from her own issues isn't something he's not used to dealing with.

Hak… is another matter. He plays the part in helping Irene regain her trust in people, in humanity. He gives her strength. Yona gives Irene hope, the ability to perceive the world in a brighter light. Kija gives her friendship in the way a brother and sister would. He becomes her family. Jae-Ha gives her emotional support, the friend she needs, who understands what she went through, and Zeno is to help correct her mental state. To calm the fears and worry in her heart and allow her peace. Shin-Ah is the reason she keeps going, the reason she lives. He's the most precious thing the universe had created and he's the single thing she wants to keep safe, even if it means trying to break apart from him at times. He's everything and anything she has and loves and she doesn't want to ruin that. He's what keeps her rooted to that life.

...So… does that explain anything?


End file.
